NOTE:: I wrote this blog about two weeks ago and avoided posting it in case any prospective employer was perusing my blog....that was first red light- If you want be YOU in your work place, it'll make it slightly more difficult.. NEEDLESS to say, I didnt get the job. PHEW. so here it is! And shame on me i've been a wretched blogger lately with my non-blogging, but I have ALOT of catching up to do...so i'll be better. promise. :)
Have any of you seen those surveys?....The 35 page surveys that are done online, while applying for jobs- regarding your personality, situational questions, temper quesitons, etc. They ask the same question 12 times to see if you'll slip up and eventually just admit that you'll snap on a customer if you're having a shitty day, or you have deep seeded control issues and you're an completele basket case. Anyways: I had to take one of these surveys- apparently I seemed sane enough for an interview. So here it goes:
I've found the only way to get hired (which I still have yet to be hired- but I know this is the solution) Is- TO LIE. Lie, lie, lie. Lie. I'm not big on lying- I dont like liars, I never lie for fun- or make up harmless white lie stories for emphasis or fluff, it's just not my schtick. I'm keen on truth-often too truthful I suppose. That being said, I'm also poor, and borrowed 20 dollars from my 11 year old sister to buy enough gas to get from point A to point B- no joy riding (which I really really miss. I'm huuuge on wasting gas for the sake of a good "drive"). I've successfully managed to drive on empty for almost 3 weeks. Weird, I know.
Back to my successful interview of deciet.
"So tell me what appeals to you about the cosmetics deparement at ::BLANK::"
In my most political tone- whitout hesitation. Pure confident storytelling.
"The People." -My inner voice is laughing at me."I just love interacting with people, it's changes it up day to day, I like to make people feel good, the company is outstanding, the service is exceptional, the customers AND the employees are treated with utmost respect- I mean...I was living in L.A. and on set there were always make-up artists, crew, etc. And I would sit there and think- (I'm such a liar) If I weren't doing this- I want want to be doing what they're doing. I just have such a passion for it!!"
Ok- So the first half was mostly true- Did I really need to go the extra mile, and make up a story about dreams as a make-up artist??? Seriously? I could give a shit about Dusty rose or Paradise pink blush, and skin tone and blaaah blaaaaah.
She totally bought it. I feel like an asshole.
"Wonderful! So...When I hire someone, I really, really, want to make sure that they're someone who wants to be here for a year plus- I mean we all have sales goals, and we work holidays, we work weekends- and we do this to reach our goals...now...does this sound like you..."
Here I go again.
"OH! OF course, of course,..."
Honestly i'm already considering quitting. Give it 3 months. But really, why do they even say "part-time" on the survey? or which hours you'd like- if they're going to have you work FULL TIME, all the time, regardless. Don't tease me with options you nazi's. Sure, I'd love to spend Thanksgiving with you people and your goals to sell massive amounts of bronzer.
They want you to say: I want to grow with the company, I want this to be long term. And I know there are companies out there I'd love to grow with....it's just a matter of finding them...thankfully I have some time to spare to try and figure it out....but the clock's ticking...