Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Drinks? I think we need a drink.


I'm pulling a "Britney" today. No, I didn't get pregnant, i'm not popping perscription pills and I didn't run over a paparazzi's Nike- cause frankly, i'm not that interesting to follow around. I just look like her twin. My bun is placed-disheveld of course, but specifically piled on top of my head like a birds nest- after a tornado and yesterdays mascara has given me a pathetically sullen crack-baby look. No to mention i'm really craving cheeto's and a frappacino.

I just returned from a whirlwind trip to NYC. Unfortunately it wasn't for play, but business. So naturally the flight en route isn't going to feel like a relaxing vacation to Cancun. After a two hour delay, we finally get on the plane....the back row. Naturally.
Then three bad-ass chicks with vintage snowboots and jackets with patches- reflecting all of the awesome things they do- come barreling towards the back. Roller Derby chicks? Si. YES. I'm thinking, I can take some notes from these girls- anyone who wears a mouthgaurd on a daily basis AND heels instantly goes platinum in my book.
Instant friendships flourish, best friend necklace's are exchanged and shoulders are used as pillows throughout the flight- ok, it wasn't exactly like that but we did share a trifecta of gossips magazines and snacks. Milk duds from me and blueberries and sausage from them....blueberries and sausage? Only ultra wicked people can stray from the standard peanuts and gummi worms for produce.

Fast forward. TWO HOURS. ON THE PLANE. WITHOUT TAKING OFF. With a four hour plane ride still ahead.

So. Mid-flight....Mid nap...I smell something strange. HM? what could that be? Just a vomiting, shitting, dog convenientally taking a bath in the bathroom next to me. Welcome to the back of the plane.
Just about this time a severe amount of turbulence begins to threaten my life...I'm not big on flying to being with...So nose plugged and hands gripping my seat with a Tom Cruise- Mission Impossible 2, death grip....a sudden feeling of relief washed over me...I opened my clenched eyes to see the vision of an angel...in United stewardess garb ...setting bottles of free wine on my tray. Hallelujah.

Though the wine did the trick for an hour or so and eavesdropping on conversation regarding "The Rabbit" and duct tape, from frequent usage, did ease my fear of death for a moment, i've decided i'd much rather have daily dentist appointments, or "tax day" than fly, delayed-in turbulence-with shitting Maltisse's.

I was also unprepared for the forthcoming day where the person I loved decided to play an intense game of raquetball with my heart and then leave it at that....

I would have preffered he used a ball. Or maybe didn't play at all. Just a thought.

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