Thursday, January 3, 2008

The Non-Dating Dating.

OO blah, code names seem pointless right now. But they're so fun. If you're talking about someone in code, they know you're talking about them...and if they didn't I would worry that they may be a bit daft. Maybe I just make up shitty code names? I've been sitting here, mulling over "do I talk about him? do I not? How about Mr Brain. or The Fro? (as in the hair, not some sort of Lord of the Rings reference.) or The Professor. The Professor is good.... but shit, he'll totally know. He totally knows as of this moment, and i'm hoping he's too busy doing brain surgery, or finding a cure for AIDS that he won't even bother to read this.

Since getting deceptively dumped by The Musician (The Ex, sounds like venom when I say it or type it. The Musician sounds way less angry than I actually am and I could use some lightness.) I've been having some what of a non-dating-dating "thing", friendship? courtship? Some sort of ship that involves NOT dating, with this old friend of mine.

He's smart, I mean...realllly smart. The kind of smart that makes up their own languages and majors in Classics and Linguistics, rather than Business. He can tell stories and have debates with me, he listens and is genuinely interested in what I have to say... I'm sure i'm quite amusing, like a little puppy, with my foreign life of Entertainment and living in a city where the most pressing issues are carbs and what sort of shit talking Perez Hilton is up to.
And that is exactly why he is refreshing to me...I said something about Jennifer Aniston and he said, "Who?" Wonderful, I could actually talk about real things with him, anything, it's limitless. We've hit all topics, religion, politics, inner-struggles, past, future, and woa. He actually has a sense of humor so it's not like being in a never ending episode of Jeopardy. So why aren't we dating you say? OK. Here we go.

Often when one is so analytical they can be less emotional, less physical, less impulsive...etc. etc. I happen to be more of all of those things. I can go from 0-60 in milliseconds. I always know exactly how I feel, about everything. Through our discussions, he revealed this piece of information to me, the kind of piece you wish they hadn't revealed, cause now it's become a main focus. He hasn't cried in years. YEARS. That's just a piece, it's not the reason we aren't dating. The word dating alone just gives me hives.

Now, I am pretty sure I cried this morning? No, no. Last night. I definitely cried over something last night. Not anything personal, I can just cry....and all of the great men in my world....are criers. My Dad also known as The Superman of Men, cries just by looking at me and knowing I exist. He's "in tune" he says, there is no well that is dry.

It isn't the physical act of crying that is important to me. It is the FEELING behind why people cry. Or the fact that they are infact, FEELING. Rather than thinking about what they're feeling. Emotions are often illogical, they're purely animal insticts- anger, laughter, joy, sadness, crying, hunger and also IMPORTANTLY sex. All animal things. That, to me, don't take away from being in a good relationship, being a good person, or being intelligent. Especially a relationship...and the act i'm talking about specifically here is SEX. Which is a topic too wide for me to cover now, but I whole heartedly believe it is as important as the emotional aspect, you cannot have one without the other. I'll blog on that later.

Truthfully, I'm not sure where I stand on our non-dating-dating, you can only do that for so long. Dating is just a prolonged interview for deciding whether or not you want to be in a relationship with someone. And if you're dating, and dating, and not looking for a relationship, you're at least looking for a consistant piece of tail. Or, it's a friendship.
So I'm not sure what ship we're on, where exactly we're sailing to, or exactly how I feel about it....I guess we'll find out.....

18 comments:

Nilsa S. said...

Men are taught by family and society not to cry. And maybe The Professor is waiting for the right person ... the one who allows him comfort and the emotional room to cry. Maybe you could serve as a role model for that!

Michelle said...

"The word dating alone just gives me hives."
haha. i totally agree!

and i have been on the non-dating-dating boat with a guy i nicknamed GQ (the nicknames work if they don't know about your blog!) and i'm about to abandon ship. lol

ana said...

Of course it is about the feeling, and we all do feel. Some cry, and some don't. Just like when a heart breaks, it doesn't have to make a shattering noise, it can and does shatter silently at times. Men are just reasonable and seasonable beings, conditioned to bottle up their tears. I'm not saying it is healthy, all I'm saying is maybe he hasn't reached the threshold yet, which is good.

Rebecca said...

Sailing can be fun. Enjoy the wind in your air and the spray of the ocean water.

Hmm...I guess my comment could be interpreted in a dirty way - but I didn't mean it like that!

Valley Girl said...

"Dating is just a prolonged interview for deciding whether or not you want to be in a relationship with someone." Well said!!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Thank you ladies for the comments.....we'll see what happens, there will definitely be some updates. Sailing is good. :)

PrincessPolly said...

I can't believe there are people out there who have never heard of Jennifer Aniston! has he been living in a cupboard for the last ten years?

Ashley said...

Good luck sailing!

I also get stuck in the friend zone and I hate it!

HollyG said...

I used to always refer to dating as "swimming"...you know, you can either dip your toes in the pool, dive in headfirst, or go for a leisurely (and healthy) swim. In the past I've mostly done the first two, although my last relationship was a healthy swim! But anyway, now I'm nowhere near the water. I'm at the snack bar...how's that? :-)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

HAHA! The swimming analogy is brilliant. I'm definitely looking at the water...

Deutlich said...

uhm. yes.

it weirds me out completely when guys act like they can't show any emotion.. there will come a time and day where all those emotions they "don't" have EXPLODE. Blech.

ps: you should join the 365Blog challenge!

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