You'll spend the next three hours explaining that feminists are not lesbians. Nothing can shoot down a nice buzz like being looked at like you're some enraged "man hater" and then taking on the insecurity of looking like a huge lez. I love lesbians (Ellen call me, let's do lunch.), I'm just not one.
For men, this is extremely hard to understand, seeing as they think their gender could do no wrong, and the only reason we'd feel the need to be "as strong as" is if we are big bull dikes.
Feminism has such a negative connotation attached to it, not only to men but to women as well. Rather than seeing the positive, empowering beliefs a feminist would embody, they see it as small minded, angry, aggressive and exclusive.
What is so wrong about being a strong woman, it's fine if you say I'm a "strong woman" because it sugar coats: feminist. It's much easier to swallow than, "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes."
I can see why men would feel that we would knock them off of their pedestal slightly, so that we're on the same platform. Threatening? Maybe. Beneficial and progressive? Absolutely.
But we parry the WORD, feminist because the word is has so much mystery and foreign power behind it. With that said, it's just a WORD. A word that should be packed with power not intimidation.
So, I say never tell a man you're a feminist in a bar....... but maybe that's exactly what you should tell a man in a bar.
Yes-I had crimson lips, yes- I was swirling a glass of white wine, yes- I happened to be alone for a bit, yes- I was wearing chiffon and heels, yes- my hair smells amazing, yes- I'd like to lick Matthew McConaughey's abs, and YES, heels and all I stand on my beliefs, and I am unshakeable. Doesn't sound like the stereotypical vision of a feminist does it?
I can argue just as fiercely about my beliefs on feminism as I can about my belief that cupcakes are in fact, better than muffins (I had this conversation as well, with a nice Irish boy named Patty who resembled Jude Law and thought muffins were better. Was he fucking mad? Who doesn't like frosted mini cakes? Irish people?)
So what's so terrible about that? NOTHING. If I were a man, if anything, I'd find it incredibly sexy.
There are so many beautiful, intelligent, funny, women who shouldn't be afraid to define themselves in that way, in order to work towards abolishing the negativity and confusion so many people have towards it. Squelch the fear towards fierceness my friends. BAN THAT SHIT.
So that next time I'm in a bar and I say something about feminism I don't receive this response,
"Sooo, are you like, attracted to chicks???"
Or maybe I was just getting hit on my an extremely douchey dullard. Your call.