Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Filling "THE WELL"

I filled "The Well" today.

No, not the water hole where ladies in peasant dresses schlep buckets through the prairie to bring clean water to their husbands who spent a day chopping lumber (this is my personal imagery that comes along with a well).


I filled MY WELL. The Well is that little inner place that runs a bit dry sometime after childhood; when you start carrying a planner and have "budgets", when you forget pleasure and lack "time" for leisure, when you allow pressure over ease, when you live in lack instead of indulgence.


The Well is doesn't have a watch, or a bottom, an end or a form. The Well picks up a paintbrush, takes time to read though books at a bookstore, and "do" rather than mulling over when to do. The Well has ideas. The Well is inspired. The Well notices peoples faces and is attune to conversation, it doesn't judge or disapprove, it doesn't worry or cling from fear of loss.


It is FULL, when you decide to fill it. Full of flavor, of words, of light, of richness and energy. And it has to be full in order to feel that you are fulfilled.


It was tempting to not stay in bed all day on my day off. I was lacking motivation to jump in the shower, or even brush my teeth. But instead, I picked out my favorite outfit- not because I thought anyone would see it and that is specifically why...I wanted to feel good for me. I wore my favorite underwear, and listened to music while I took the time to put eyeliner on...just because.


I was taking myself on a date, I was going to feed my date, my art, my passion and my soul as it had been starved to near death. Work, or internships, planning, or worrying, were not on my agenda at all....impressing my date was.


Instead of carrying my phone in my hand to check the time, or answer immediately- I decided I only answer to me today...to what pulls me, to my body when it says: GO, eat, skip, stay, keep going-whatever.


My body naturally wanted bruschetta and white wine, SO- I filled my well with bruschetta and wine. I filled my well with truffle oil egg toast, spicy pepper and asparagus. I filled the pages of my journal over cappucino. I filled my well with intrigue at Three Lives Bookstore as I eavesdropped on a young, wild haired, composer (Did I mention Amadeus is my favorite movie of all time?), which naturally- filled my well with a slight dash of lust. I filled my well with mozzarella and tiramisu, rich marscarpone, fresh basil and crusty bread. I filled it with ink and the sound of scribbling, with the sound of friends catching up, or after work dinner dates whispering lowly over tea lights.


I filled my well by slowing walking, observing instead of letting the rainy weather keep me inside. I filled my well by skipping through a park. Yes, I fucking skipped like something you see in a romantic comedy.


I thought about my grandparents, I thought of the "signs" that reminded me of them and I wondered if I slowed down more often if I'd notice that I wasn't as alone as I felt most of the time.


While I was throwing little gems of inspiration into my well from everything I saw, tasted and heard...I noticed a shift. A lightness even. Then it hit me, that I wasn't angry, I didn't notice how angry I was until I wasn't...I wasn't angry at "the ex" anymore, I even considered picking up a nice thank you note on thick stationary and writing words of gratitude for allowing me to have this day- a day I wouldn't have had, had I been sitting in his house eating frozen pizza and having subpar sex. I wasn't angry at "the universe" for its "plans" that surely didn't match up to the ones I had made. I wasn't angry at my bank account, at my uncertainty, at my thighs, or my loneliness.


I was full. And at this point, both physically and spiritually.


Time has a way of making you ignore you "Well", stress makes you ignore it, obligation, occupation and hustling all team up so you can ignore The Well.


It's hard to fill an inner part of your life, when you're so consumed filling the outer- an outer that much of the time, doesn't serve you, as much as it does everyone else.


So today, in all of my "indulgence", I relished in the things that make ME feel good. Its hard, but you have to remind yourself to not ignore the well and I'll surely strive for keeping it full each day, until it is Tuesday again...and I can wake up at noon....with nothing on my agenda other than taking my inner well on a lavish date.
What would you fill your well with??















66 comments:

Princess Pointful said...

Funny... as I read this, on your jukebox, "Merry Happy" came on, and it was just so deliciously appropriate.
I need to refill my well, because it is being covered by obligations.
Sunshine, my camera, and tidepools is all it would take.

Clueless Cat said...

Great post, everyone needs a day like that to rejuvenate and sometimes, to recuperate from all the little stresses that life brings with it, and with which we sometimes get too bogged down with.

I'd fill mine with bookstore browsing (like you ;)), maybe some Breakfast at Tiffany's, poetry, writing in my journal, and people watching. Preferably in New York.

poodlegoose said...

bookstore browsing, violin playing, fast driving on a long stretch of country road on a sunny day with beethoven (preferably perlman) playing, probably a little cleaning and organizing, a few hours of reading, some scrap-journaling, and I'd be set for quite some time.

I'm glad you had such a great day :)

Single In The City said...

Good for you! You deserved some Chelsea time! I am glad that you got to wine and dine yourself. A lot of people need to do this, including me!

I would love to find the time for a sit down lunch or dinner with just me. Having enough time to eat a meal that I really want, catch up on some reading, Not just books from class!

A couple glasses of wine while watching one of my Meg Ryan Flicks!

Chelsea you have started something here! Now I am going to have to make a day out of it! Stay tuned for a blog about it, well maybe after exams are over.! YOU DESERVED IT Chelsea, hope you get to do it again very soon!
Shalom
Single!

Maxie said...

I love days like that. It makes it a lot harder because I don't live in a city, but here I like to grab a good book, go get a coffee, and just chill out.

Mike said...

Very well written, I enjoyed that.

When ever I fill my well, I end up getting injured.

That's why I'm in Canada, socialized health care ;)

Z said...

Everyone needs days like that !
I fill my well by eating good food, exploring new places, and just listening to myself and doing whatever I want - which usually includes reading outdoors in nice weather, indulging in good coffee, and taking tons of photos! ;)

Miss Mrs...a blog of everyday delights said...

I love this, and your blog. I'm completely addicted.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Wow, I want a day like this so badly. My "well" day would totally be a trip to The Village and browse every cute little shop that tickled my fancy followed by a quiet wine bar with jazz? or any good sweet music.

Meeks said...

I love this. My friend and I decided last year that we were going to feed our souls (aka fill our wells) at least once a month. We went to the museum. And that was the last time. Thank you for the reminder. This post was the perfect start to my morning and a beautiful reminder to take care of ourselves.
PS...Amadeus is the best movie of all time. Seriously.

Lacey Bean said...

I love it! And I Love Amadeus!! SUCH a GREAT movie!

So glad you took this day for yourself... it's the greatest gift you can give!

Moxie said...

beautiful writing. I also love Amadeus.

I recently got some stuff out of my "well," stuff that had been hanging heavy on me and making me sad. I'm normally a very caustic and jokey person, but in writing about it I let the tears out, and those filled my well, and I felt better.

A good hike through Hill Country is good too.

carrie lea said...

"Well" said Chelsea! You have given me a great idea of how to spend my Saturday, becuase my well is getting pretty dry.

carrie lea said...

"Well" said Chelsea! You have given me a great idea of how to spend my Saturday, becuase my well is getting pretty dry.

Britt said...

Good for you! I think I'm gonna take me on a date too :)

pessimisticredhead said...

What a nice day and a wonderful way to treat yourself. Everyone deserves this type of day once in awhile, and there should be no guilt around it. Good for you.

DJSassafrass said...

Very true..we all need to make time to treat ourselves...we rarely do though.

Deutlich said...

music! shopping for it, hunting for it, listening to it, going to see it live.. music music and more music.

Deutlich said...

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Renee said...

I'm hoping to have a full week of filling my well starting Sunday- flying to sunny Texas, spending time with my best friend whom I rarely see and her beautiful 15 month old daughter, drinking tea, trying new recipes together, gossiping while browsing facebook, and laughing like we did in high school.

readsalot said...

That sounds amazing. I would fill mine with spending time in a bookstore (not the one I work at), going to a museum, sitting at a cafe by myself with a book and my journal and eating at a hole in the wall that you know is delicious (we don't have many of those around here).

Karmen said...

its interesting that you write this because the past couple of days ive actually been doing just that. Yoga, working out, going on an exhausting bike-ride (which in turn makes me feel accomplished), finally catching up on my hw, hanging out with some friends, jamming, grabbing a couple of drinks, and going stenciling around the city.

It was a good tuesday.

ella said...

A visit to Three Lives always made me feel better as well as brunch at the Bus Stop (is that place still there?).

ChasingParadise said...

Thank you, Chelsea. Seriously. I really needed to read that. I have neglected my well for so long that I didn't even remember that I had one. You have inspired me! I don't mean that to sound cheesy, but now I really want to take myself on a date. Perhaps this weekend. And you know what? I'll drink white wine and toast your idea.

Vanessa said...

I loved this post! A great reminder to me as well as others I'm sure.

lifeintheleftlane said...

What a great post. It seems like you had an awesome day!

I'd like to lay outside and watch the clouds go by on a spring day.

Go on a picnic with my fiance since we've been so busy we barely have time to interact.

Go to a fun new restaurant and eat exotic foods.

Carrie said...

(To echo what everyone else has said) What a great post! I need to have days like that more often. I get so hung up on doing my chores and errands on the weekend, when I really should just get out of the fucking house and have some fun, enjoy life, maybe even get out of my g.d. pajamas, and gasp! take a shower?

Thanks for the inspiration to not be a total loser on the weekend. :)

distractedspunk said...

Chelsea, I'm so glad you wrote about this. I've been wavering between trying to fill my well and trying to not lose track of all the things going on in my life.

The last few weekends have involved doing at least one thing for me, usually in the lines of a dance performance or class. I'm keeping up the trend by seeing Alvin Ailey this weekend. :)

Thank you though. Really.

just corby said...

Such an inspiring post.

Part of my well-day would include a great workout at the gym, but when running on the treadmill, I wouldn't have to keep my butt tucked under in an effort to look skinnier.

I would just run normal.

Kate said...

Wow... that sounds like a dream day. Someday soon, I'll make a day for myself.

K.

NYCPonderings Chick said...

whoa...go you girl! i wish i knew exactly how to fill my well!

Katelin said...

Those are the best kind of days ever. Everyone needs a me day, it's definitely worth it.

Natunia said...

ohhhh i cannot wait until i can fill my well and so something for myself. really feeling exam time this time around :-\.

p.s. i am extremely of your heath ledger incounter. r.i.p :(

but absolutely lovely blog! :)

PrincessB said...

You have inspired me to make my own "well"day this Friday. Your day sounds perfect..

I would have brunch at a little place nearby, browse a bookstore, hit a museum and read at a coffee shop. Looking forward to it already!

Laura said...

So...a bunch of people have already commented on the wonderfulness that is Amadeus but tell me..what is it about that movie that makes it your favorite?
Please tell me that it's his amazing laugh.
That's definitely what does it for me. LOVE it.

brandy said...

Sigh. This post is one of my favourites. Just reading about good food and book stores makes me feel more satisfied. I'm happy you had such a great day.

Abby said...

Great post. One of the best of yours I've read to date. You're a great writer and seemingly wise beyond your years...

boXer girl said...

Funny, I was just realizing tonight - before I read your post - that I haven't taken the time to think about my mom and how much I miss her since her passing. Instead, I've been too busy swimming in my Well that is filled with obligations, block walls, stresses, and 14 Cadbury Eggs (per day). My Well overflow-eth with contaminated crap. It's high time I drain it and start filling it with the good stuff. Thanks for the nudge. You rock!

ana said...

I need to fill my well as well. My date with the spa is long pending.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Thanks everyone for the sweet words. I appreciate it, I didn't realize my pleasure seeking day would inspire you all hahah. BUT, I am surely glad that it did.

Laura- I LOVE HIS LAUGH.

Abby- thank you, that is a wonderful comment to receive.

Boxer girl- thank you for reminding me to pick up some cadbury eggs ;)

thatsadditychic said...

This has to be the most honest and beautiful piece I have read in a long time. I am so inspired by your writing. You really have me thinking how I'll replensih my WELL. Thank you for that :)

Meghan said...

What a great post to remind people to slow down and appreciate their own well. My well needs some soup, a good book and a walk in the sunshine.

sleepyjane said...

This was a great post.

Thanks for reminding me that there's more to life than work and making other people happy.

I'm seriously booking a day off soon.

Jeanine said...

What a beautiful post. I'm at that point when for the first time in 12 years I only have myself to think about. And although loneliness sometimes creeps in... I'm excited to fill my well with my very own magical moments... which would most definitely include spending time journaling in a local cafe, taking my camera out on a walking adventure through the city, sipping wine and eating baguette and cheese on my balcony.

lspoon said...

Good for you! You deserve to have a filled well :)

ex-tex said...

amadeus is my all time fav movie too!!!!

Rebecca said...

what is up with ino being everywhere this week?! I guess I must get myself there soon.

polynesianprincess said...

Very inspiring post. Thank you!

heidi said...

GREAT question...
reading in bed, a loooonnnggggg hot shower, a walk around the harbor with the camera, sushi lunch in the window seat, a long nap, and maybe a movie..."Amelie"?
Snacks for dinner, more books in bed.

Marcheline said...

Hamlet, MacBeth, Othello, all with a healthy dose of Kenneth Branagh.

Michelle & the City said...

great food, wine, and reading a good book. i want to have a "fill my well" day now :)

Meesh-elle my Belle said...

sounds fabulous. i'll be in nyc next weekend and I plan on doing nothing but filling my well. Isn't it just the perfect city to do that in? Because you can just wander aimlessly and stumble into the best places you've ever found.

another fun place to try: Jadis on Rivington. N (pronounced en-yay) on Crosby (I think?) for great tapas and sangria. The Other Room is always a favorite - no food, but great neighborhood vibe and great bar to write in your journal at while drinking one of their many winebar selections...there are SO many more but those are off the top of my head for some of your next dates. OH - and I love Ara wine bar across the street from Pastis. Although I just realized that I think most of these places are open mainly at night but still worth trying nonetheless.

just me said...

You're like the love of my life.

I love that you did this. I love that you're a normal artist.

Let's get married and have two goldfish...and 2 manservants to do our bidding.

dactyl said...

this post makes me want to grab you by the hand and skip slowly through the city.

filling the well is such a true concept. we often forget about "ourselves" in the quest to become whoever it is that we set out to be.

i don't know how you found my blog, but i'm glad that you did. absolutely linking you. little rockstar of awesome.

Anonymous said...

Chelsea,
Darlin I'm so happy you took the time to smell the beautiful roses!It is sooo amazing what happens to one when they listen to their inner being!! Love from Denver to you!!

sequined said...

I love this idea; it's so beautiful. And it's so important to fulfill yourself, especially through indulging in activities and passions rather than material things. What an amazing day.

Missy said...

I'd like to find the well.

Ps...Love Kate Nash!

rak said...

thanks for this post:)

Larissa said...

I fill my well with art, cooking and red wine.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Meesh- thank you fo rthe new places, I'll DEFINITELY visit!!

Kenzie! said...

awesome post, girl! you write beautifully. forsho.

Sassy Molassy said...

Filling the well. I never do enough of this, but it sounds like a fabulous day. I'm always making excuses to myself as to why I can't do all the things I want to. I'm sick of it. Thanks for the inspiration. Love the idea of skipping through the park.

somechick84 said...

I love this post. I don't know what I'd fill my well with... I think it would be sitting in my PJs watching my favorite shows in the sunlit living room while making "art" and eating popcorn and drinking rootbeer. Yes I love rootbeer. Then probably reading 18 books and finishing up with a nice long swim before heading home in my zippy car.

I'm glad you filled your well and made us all think!

Ashley said...

This is an awesome post!

I would fill my well with the beach, good friends, and laughter! I miss that.

Kristin said...

That was great. Your so right, I never really thought about it. I miss you and Love you tons! I really LOVED the skipping part...that was great...

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