Though I have evolved musically in th past 10 years, there are still times when I catch myself brazenly acknowledging the fact that, I indeed- know the lyrics to most rap songs.
My day to day listening is more indie oriented,I connect more with it, obviously since I'm dramatic and from the 'burbs, but sometimes, I simply feel like bouncing to mindless sugary beats rather than crawling inside my introspective cave that has a special cozy corner in my brain.
So I feel, as a closet listener, or often (in an altered state of mind) not such a closet listener (HELLO DRUNK KARAOKE. CLASSY.), that I'll give back to rap community with translations for the rest of you indie folk. And beyond. Rap community, here is my version of a bake sale, I would like to offer my time as translator;
From the brain of Flo Rida, "Make it rain, I'm makin it snow
Work the pole, I got the bank roll" Translation: The more naked you get, the more dollars you get. He's letting you know, he's got the cash to stick in your crack. After you hit the 'flo (FLOOR.)
From the genius of Lupe Fiasco, "Kick push, kick push, coast." Translation: White boys with dirty skater shoes, this is for you. Pull out your vans and your best Tony Hawk impressions and become one with your connection to LUPE.
Two brains are better than one with Bow Wow and Omarion, "Her jeans be riding low
Homies breakin they neck,Just to see how far they go down down" Translation: Ladies, these are both ASS MEN. Thats all you need to know, and don't worry their necks are fine.
Oh Fiddy, you're more like a dolla' holla',In 21 Qestions, 50 is feeling a bit insecure; " If I didn't smell so good would you still hug me? If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century,
Could I count on you to be there to support me mentally?" Translation:
The answers to these questions should be NO AND NO. I don't like smelly ballsacs or convicts. He's got more where that came from, hello...."magic stick" anyone?
Chris Brown needs to ENUNCIATE- "She want that lovey dovey (lovey dovey)
that kiss kiss (kiss kiss)" Translation: Who else was convinced he was saying Laffy Taffy?? I was going to attempt translating that but it made no fucking sense.
Cassidy f Swizz Beats are drinkin' and two steppin , "The whip sittin on two-sixes, the lip's chromed. My money used to be immature now my shit grown" Translastion: Cassidy has a nice ride. Ride= car. Apparently he used to spend his money on bubblegum and action figures, now he's GROWN, so the dollars are reserved for shiny things and bitches.
Busta Rhymes would like some applause, "Make it clap" Translation: Put your hands down. Get off the stairstepper. Grab a piece of fried chicken. This is no peanut gallery and no need to say Bravo, let those cheeks flap away, and if you have a moment I would consider referencing this entire song for true lyric genius.
At the Holidae Inn (this must be a different chain than the usual HOLIDAY) with Chingy he'll tell you, "Ya that's me, Ching-a-ling equipped wit much ding-a-ling" Translation: His mother forgot to tell him the "big boy" word for penis.
If you ever find yourself at this Holidae Inn, the beer is in the bathtub and the Hennessy is down someone's pants. Weed is welcome if you bring shawties= chicks.
And to the late Biggie Smalls,"Pull the truck up, front, and roll up the next blunt, So we can steam on the way to the telly, go fill my belly A t-bone steak, cheese eggs and Welch's grape" Translastion: Only TRUE legends can reference Welch's and remain "Big Poppa". Ladies Biggie liked ass, but he really just wanted a nice piece of meat. Literally.
Feel free to contribute to my rap community service with your translations......
::updates on my move to NYC to come::