"Acknowledging the good that is already in your life is the foundation for
all abundance. The fact is: Whatever you think the world is
withholding from you, you are withholding from the world."
Wow, that sentence hit me like the time my mother threw a glass of water in my face cause "Parent" magazine said it'd help "stop the tantrum." Hopefully the quote proves more affective than her attempt at keeping me under control.
Oprah has in fact, proved she has found another gem worth knowing and that she is, smarter than the rest of us for finding it first (or at least her people are?) I've read Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now" before and as a result I lived "presently" or in the now during the entire duration of reading the book, proving it's effectiveness somewhat ineffective, unless I was reading. Not to take away from its brilliance, it's just when I stepped out of my bubble into life it was hard to avoid future thinking and to step out of imprints/habits of the past that were affecting me presently. Without my compulsive thinking on the future I felt as if I might be one step behind, I may look lazy, or I may not reach high enough, etc. SO only briefly was I right where I was, and more frequently I was somewhere else....that mostly existed inside my head.
Reluctantly I started to read "A New Earth." I was afraid it's genius would be beyond the grasp of my purely mortal hands. It's funny what you'll resort to doing when you have no money and nowhere to go. Picking up a book was a better option than creating a indoor putt-putt golf course (yes, I have done this), and risk breaking the few things I barely have, and unfortunately liquor isn't free.
By page 200 it looked as though a graphomaniac had taken the book hostage. I wanted to underline everything, I wanted to memorize it and sing it on street corners, or create a new language and speak only in, "New Earth." I'd just finished a conversation with my Mother when she said, "You keep saying, 'somebody love me, somebody notice, somebody love me. love me.' But you aren't loving anybody, so you aren't letting them love you." Nothing is worse than when your mother and Oprah are right.
I stared at the quote above for an hour. WHAT AM I WITHHOLDING that I feel is being withheld?
Right now in my life, I am writing and in return more writing has come. It is self perpetuating. I have virtually stopped singing, and in return the stage to sing on has eluded me. More than anything, I have been wanting love for a very. very. long time, and with no avail, have not received it.
I've been giving; hurt, bitterness and mistrust and have been expecting warmth, vulnerability...attraction? I've been a softer looking version of an Ice Princess towards the male race, and I've wanted them to smother me in affection. I've have been giving my heart on my sleeve; accompanied by Britney Spears' former body guards for it's protection and I've been expecting men to come take me on a date?
I've been wanting arms wrapped around me, skin and goosebumps and I've been giving, a tap on the back, and a half-smile? I've been wanting all the good stuff; deep kisses, little moments, organic communication, unadulterated expression, morning sighs and shared french toast. Instead, I've built a steel cage around all of the parts of mine which are delicate, which are rare and visceral. Everything I've been wanting in love, I've selfishly kept my own. It's like that "special something" you keep hidden, it's just that special you're afraid to lose it. Then you completely forget where you put it and know its around here somewhere but no one will get to enjoy it. Until it's found, it's just talk. I am that "something special" and I've hidden it.
"Whatever you think people are withholding from you- praise, appreciation,
assistance, loving care and so on- give it to them. You don't have it? Just act
as if had it, and it will come. Then, soon after you start giving, you
will start receiving."
What is it that you feel that the world is withholding from you and are you withholding it from them?