Monday, May 5, 2008
The Travel Channel wants me to elope with him.
I would like to be sitting in Verona, Italy eating polenta and cheese, with a bottle of red wine, after a nice breast rub on the statue of Juliet full of wishes for "luck in love".... but instead, I am sitting in my apartment, eating hard-boiled eggs, watching that smug Samantha Brown drink in (sometimes literally) the country of Italy, and I'm tempted to buy a one way ticket on my credit card, right now- so I can go join her, or strangle her for being such a tease.
Hard boiled eggs aren't usually my meal of choice but it was either that or hundred calorie rice krispie treats, since that's all I have right now. Whoa, yeah. and almonds....the least I can hope for is that I lose a few pounds, since I keep obsessing over how my inner thighs are looking " a bit fat." And due to my thigh irritation I want to bake a cake? My mind is such a bitch, if she were a person I would trip her on the street.
Due to some financial restraints, I haven't been able to go and gallivant about NYC like usual, instead I have resulted to hibernating and daydreaming about far off lands, while doing the occasional wind sprint from my couch to my bedroom ( a solid 3 feet) to keep the flow of blood going. And to keep my ass from getting flat. I am convinced, flat asses are the derivative of sitting in front of a computer and I pride myself on my ass and it's bubbliness. Bubbliness?
Today Samantha Brown has taken me to Milan, nice place, good people, Prada :) and Verona where she is now eating some liquor filled sponge cake...which sounds like something I would choose to live on if I ever had to choose one meal for the rest of my life. A couple months ago when I was on a "trip" with Sam (I feel like I know her well enough to call her Sam, maybe Sammy?) I was so inspired to flee to Europe that I created a ridiculously in depth itinerary of my trip. A trip, I couldn't afford and had NO PLANS on taking.
I saved this itinerary in a Word document, so it could marinate and someday "attract" the bank account, opportunity and.... maybe my own camera crew, with major network funding so that the trip could be made possible.
I create lists and collages of things that I want to attract into my life, with the same conviction behind them as a nun with a rosary. My lists are my version of a prayer candle. My lists are my visualization and my mental image held at my third eye and all the New Age loveliness. I make my attempts to live "The Secret." And in turn "The Secret" has given me hard-boiled eggs and Passport To Europe marathons. The Secret made sure I had cable in my new "home."
So here's a taste (mind you I did this for EVERY COUNTRY) of my itinerary, I'm just putting it out there....to, ya know....come back to me? Like attracts like? Energy attracts more of them same? and all the vibeology jargon.
Ride the old fashioned bike. And pick fresh tulips.
Meet friends in the “Brown Cafes” Not just the Dutch, but people from all over, artists, businessmen, travelers, interesting conversations and great beer. CHEERS.
Pay tribute to Anne Frank.
Tour the read light district
Enjoy that weed is legal, and try it in the form of cake ;)
Eat Gouda and Broodje’s two of Amsterdam’s favorites. Take pictures.
Make a toast with random locals with some Absinthe.
Music Music Music. Sit outside any of the squares and enjoy a music festival.
Make out with a hot band member of the Swedish band. Preferably a drummer.
Visit a Viking warship!
Try Swedish meatballs.
Take a morning run through the city.
Check out the Rival Hotel, all the while singing an ABBA song.
Absolut icebar! Shots!
If time permits, take a hot air balloon ride and feel like Dorothy saying goodbye to Oz.
Greek food, Greek dessert.
Wear gold, and white this whole trip.
Go sailing. Live for the sun, and find the name of your inner Greek goddess.
Visit the Parthenon.
Meet the locals in Plaka and Kolonaki square, watch the sun come up.
Go to Cine Paris, rooftop watch the stars and a vintage Greek film.
Greek folk dance!! Dance dance dance!
Where would you go on your imaginary vacation and what would you do???