Single women, it's time we start revamping our "image."
Single women, like a firefighter or a nurse, a policeman or a cowboy....have a "costume" too. Sure, we don't strap on our orthopedic shoes or our best set of chaps but we do wrap ourselves in a little cocoon of energy that's just as much of a display as wearing a set of Sesame Street scrubs would be.
Single women can be broken up into two basic categories, with various shades to differentiate them.
1. The single woman who is perfectly happy and content being single, loves the single life, doesn't enjoy cuddling or someone "spooning her while she sleeps" and has "never had a dream of a wedding as a kid." Her image of security in "self" is enviable to those on the other end of the spectrum....some often wonder, if she full of shit? Hm, whatevs, we all do what we need to do when we're in survival mode.
2. Then there's the single woman who, cannot stop talking about why the eff she's single?? She stares longingly at couples who display quirks of affection, like reminding him while shopping at the grocery store together, that he's out of shaving cream and she wonders how much percentage wise they love each other, 80%? 92/12%? This single girl wants nothing more than to not be single.
I'd like to think that I'm a varying degree of both and I lay somewhere in the middle. Often looking like a Viking and other times looking/sounding like a complete frenzied unstable ball of desperation, giving off "love me, love me" to anyone who bothers to look in my direction...then he gets closer and (most of the time) I realize....
I'm not desperate enough to love someone disingenuously. If it's not the most sincere, rawest, truest form of love, it's nothing. I don't need anymore person to complete me, I already am....but shouldn't we be given that outlet to express LOVE?.....
When I came across Liz Tucillo's book "How to Be Single" I knew I needed the lesson. Having already felt semi-enlightened by her other book "He's Just Not That Into You" which is still like new testament of the Bible to me, I knew there would be some gems that would stick. At least until I got wrapped up in one of my "moments" and starting kicking and screaming like a little girl, which I'm known to do when it seems, "fit."
Rather than letting people ask you, "Why are you single?" and then letting that question bury itself into our minds like a tick, growing with each dateless evening, single holiday and wasted plus one's. Right now it's a fact, I am single....but, how am I single?
How do you deal, how to carry yourself....how do you think of yourself. The question isn't WHY, but how to BE, single.
Thus far being bitter or questioning, an unwilling "victim" to loneliness hasn't bode well for me. Getting to the point where you start to say, "well maybe....." to someone you've said NO to for a long time, means you've let the settling sneak its way in.
Here are some of Liz' rules on how to be, single:
1.Make sure you have friends
2. Don't be crazy, no matter how you feel- because it makes us all look bad.
3. Decide what you believe in, then behave accordingly.
4. Get Carried AWAY......
5. Figure out the whole sex thing- when you want it, how to do it, who to do it with. *****
6. Make peace with the statistics, because there really isn't anything we can do about them.
7. Admit that sometimes you feel desperate.
8. There's really so few people that have it all, so try not to bother with that whole envy thing.
9. Not to put pressure on you, but start thinking about the whole motherhood thing. (shit.)
10. Remember that sometimes there are more important things that you and your lousy love life AND get your friends more involved with helping you with lousy love life. ( YEAH, COME ON GUYS.....I'm all for a good matchmaker.)
11. Believe in Miracles.
So tell me, how are YOU single?......or, how were you single?