Sunday, July 6, 2008
There's nothing quite like deleting phone numbers from your cell phone to affirm that you are completely companion less. When you realize that you've held onto people who are now essentially strangers to you, for a long time, and you decide to "delete" them, you have officially opened up space to start anew- maybe that's dramatic and slightly sad, but sometimes you have to do it. It's the emo version of chopping off your hair for "change."
And anew is surely what I have ahead me....
With all of your "votes" and an organized tallying system (that's the analytical and slightly obsessive side of me taking over), I pulled out my debit card, picked a date, randomly and bought my ticket to London. I bought a fucking ticket to London?! A non-refundable, solo, ticket to London. I basically took "my" destiny by the horns and yanked its little tough head, eyes pointed across the seas and said, this is where we're going buddy.
This is what I do, I formulate some idea, I let it marinate in my mind and my though process and then I turn it into this humongous life sized reality. I make what start as tiny ideas into tangible experiences, even if that isn't always the best thing.
Thus far my mind has been "made up" and thus MADE UP, quite literally, experiences/stories, that could have stayed in my head had I not taken the leap and it has taken me to;
Los Angeles where I lived for three years and experienced everything under the twisted/warped little L.A. moon. I sang on stages with full bands, I auditioned endlessly and I was defeated and triumphant all in one. I lived alone and learned my Independence, I taunted my fears and squashed them. I said "yes" almost always, to almost anything and I developed toughness, without losing my tenacity and spirit....I developed a resilience and was reminded of my inherent strength and love for what I do.
My mind has let me LOVE completely and fully and taken me to Seattle with everything and nothing to lose, where in the end I did lose, though was reminded again that "to love" as in an action, is the best feeling.
Then....as a result my mind took me straight across to New York City, where I have interned for one of the best women's magazines and where I ultimately starting freelancing for another incredible celebrity magazine. Where I opened my heart to new faces and friends, flavors and liquors. Where almost everything whether it was booze or fancy cheese came in excess, only to be followed by long walks and aching feet.
I have lived in two of the greatest cities, I have had/have the GREATEST jobs and the best part.....this is only the beginning. I finally, decided.
My mind is on an insane roller coaster of "creation" right now creating stories (that you all will get to read) happening all over; London, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Barcelona, Paris, Florence, Greece, Stockholm, Budapest, Prague, Dublin, Brussels, Berlin, Zurich, Malta, Croatia, Edinburgh, and wherever else I manage to squeeze in.
THANK YOU THANK YOU, to all of you sent me your suggestions, expect MANY, MANY more stories....PLUS, I'll need you all to send me your thoughts on where to go/what to do while I exercise my freedom to GO. and do all of the things I've wanted to. How fitting that I bought my ticket the day after 4th of July......ahhhh to be free.
This plane departs in Sept, until then we shall resume to your regular programming of- often irrational, frequently inappropriate, mostly single, always up for dessert, slightly tipsy and insane Chelsea Talks Smack.