Thursday, August 14, 2008

I'll touch the fire twice


Pressure, this white page is just PRESSURE. Pressure to create something good, something worth reading, something interesting enough for people procrastinating work and surfing the web to want to read for more than a minute.

When I was younger I was obsessed with the movie Amadeus. I found it fascinating that someone could be so talented with such ease, effortlessly brilliant. Like we should all be little prodigy's in our own right, we should be able to unlock our own brilliance and it would pour from us like a flood.

I thought, I should be able to create art that easily....in my head it all made sense that if you're given an extraordinary amount of talent, you will also be given the outlet to use it. You are a vessel and your talent is simply passing through for other people to enjoy.....


EFFORTLESS was what I had thought it would be. Or as a I thought it should be. Thus far, that's proven to be a foolish assumption. The universe knows that when you love something, you will fight for it. Hard, with kicking and screaming if need be.


It's incredible the amount of pain and disappointment one is willing to put themselves through in hopes of; doing what they love, having the person that they love, or filling up that missing piece. Like a moth to a flame, I throw myself in the fire every time....knowing that we are resilient creatures.

Though we may be fragile in form, our souls are made with the ingredients of unprecedented strength and fortitude.


Even at our weakest moments, we were made to endure.

When things get difficult, when we feel lost or useless. When our work feels thankless or we feel hopeless, no matter how many times we are burned or disappointed, defeated or scarred....we remain vikings in spirit. Why? Why do we touch the fire twice, four times, ten times? Because at the end of it all, when wounds are healed and lightness overcomes the dark, when the disappointment is now just a story.....it is ALWAYS worth it.


When you finally get your "yes," or when you can curl into the nook of someones arms, when you can say "I've done that," or "I've made it." When all of your passion is finally channeled into the perfect spot....it is ALWAYS worth it. It is worth it, even when it hurts.


Effortless would be nice, but would the reward be as sweet? When I'm tucking myself into bed, sore and battle scarred I gently kiss my inner bruises and have to remind myself that we were given the ability to get up and try again, love again and create again, our strength is part of our gift.



13 comments:

T said...

Beautiful. I ususally don't leave comments but this text was amazing. Beautifully written and expressing beautiful feelings.
You're a really talented writer...

ORION said...

Yes. writing is hard hard work. Even for those considered geniuses. Those who give up never make it- Perseverance is the key.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

T- thank you so much, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such a kind comment, thank you, thank you. :)

Orion-indeed.

Rachel said...

I cannot wait to reach that spot.

Mel Heth said...

If everything was effortless, we might not ever try for more. And we'd certainly learn a lot less than we do going through all the pain and highs and lows.

a little bird said...

amen, sister.

Surfergrrl said...

So true. Really great post!

Paula said...

I also would love everything to just come easily but if we have to fight for what we want we are going to appreciate it so much more in the end. So true. You really are such a good writer. I wish I could put my points across as well as you do, but they always seem to get stuck inside my head and not come out as well as I hoped.

just me said...

Writing is beautiful and also sucks.

PS: Of COURSE start writing for CC again. I'll send you an email but please...send me your ideas. We want you bbbacccck.

Alexis M. said...

So, so true!

I've been contemplating some of that a lot lately, so I think this was something I definitely needed to hear and REMEMBER.

Remembering these things is key...

;)

**Melissa** said...

Wow, what a great, inspiring post! I'll be a new fan of yours from this moment on!
Kudos :-)

Pink ditz said...

What a great post. Beautiful! and so so true. People underestimate writing so much it bugs me.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Its funny because I actually wrote this post about EVERYTHING, but it started with the pressure of writing....when it comes to touching teh fire twice, I think it's worth in in ALL RESPECTS. Not just creatively.

 
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