Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My Quilted Life

Yesterday I slept in until noon to avoid eating lunch and breakfast because I gorged on McDonald's at 3am after staying up late after my show downtown, drinking wine from a jug and jammin' out with new musician friends. Sleeping to not eat may sound like twisted thinking, but seriously, I'm thinking it's just smart and thrifty. What do you do if you wake up early, spend money, eat food. Or ya know, work- but I've come to terms with the fact that I will never be functional or productive before 11am, unless I'm hired to have a seat on The View....then I could manage to pony up my game.

My thoughts are going to be pieced together here, cause that's a bit how my life is right now. Piecey. Like a big 'ol quilt. There's a couple jagged pieces that need some work, then there's the plain ones that look completely unnecessary, the heinous overly flashy squares and then a few quality ones bringing the whole thing together. Even the shitty squares are needed or the whole thing would fall apart (unless I went in and replaced them with new squares, don't worry- I'm getting there) ......So here's my quilted life at the moment:

Good squares:
-I still have arms, legs, and all of my phalanges. This is a good square to build on, my body is healthy and functioning.
-Speaking of my body, I am now a certified ZUMBA instructor, which means I'm insane and should maybe considering doing a little speed before each class in order to actually have the energy to do it. Plus, my body is going to be rockin' when I add that to my schedule a few times a week.
-I'm not sure if this square is good or HYSTERICAL....I just got hired to write for a new website and my tag line (given to me off of observation?) The 20something Dating Guru ....oh yeah. You didn't read it wrong it says GURU. Now, usually this would send me into a fit of manic laughter, but back to the "good square".... currently I'm "talking" to 8 men (more than ever at one period of time, it's tempting to call myself a pimpette.....realllllyyyy tempting) and the numbers are growing. Which means my calendar is pretty full, my inbox of text messages is overflowing and thankfully, I have enough subjects to write about to seem guru-y. But the truth is, I'd like to narrow it down to one. The play is fun, but I like undivided attention, both giving and receiving. That sounded sexual, but I didn't mean for it to....You get what I mean.
-The Christmas drinks at Starbucks are back. This aids my sanity like you wouldn't believe.
- I'm singing two nights a week in a show which reminds me every time I'm there, that the music is m heart and that the stage is my home.

The Random Squares- that don't seem necessary but are:
Gossip Girl. It's sickening how much I love this show....and would like to be a writer for it. ....sick.
-Rice cakes. Look, I've talked about my love for the rice cake in previous blogs. You can fashion anything on a flavored rice cake, they're slimming and fun to eat.
-Has anyone seen the pair of purely sequined black leggings at Express?? Yeah, cause I want them.

Bad Squares:
-Still broke....but things are looking up. That songs "everyday I'm hustlin', hustlin', hustlin'..." is my Eye of Tiger song. I even look like Rocky when it plays in the background.
-The past two weeks I've woken up everyday with intense cravings for melted cheese and salt. The good part of that square is that I'm not pregnant. Just pregnant with ravenous grease love.
-Living at home with your parents while you're "in between" is a real sex-stopper. Even when you're a pimpette, asking someone to tiptoe in order to not what "Papa Bear" is not a pimp move.
-I need a manicure so bad, it looks like I clawed myself out of a hole.
-Anything past Christmas when it comes to a "life plan" is a complete mystery....right now, I'm looking forward to baking pumpkin pies, Christmas cookies, sipping eggnogs, my birthday! and attempting some sort of caroling excursion. Nothing like getting the people you love together to sing about chestnuts and reindeer.
-The worst thing is, the only thing that's really making these squares shitty...all comes down to a dollar sign. And from what happened with the economy it's very clear that one day you can have millions, the next day you have why can't we stop ourselves from getting so caught up in such a fleeting thing??

There's been days when ALL I can see are the squares that need fixing, they stick out so much I've considered torching the whole thing. Sometimes when things are bad, the idea of erasing it all to make it better gives more relief than trying to fix target areas. Then there's moments, days, weeks even, when all I see are the good squares, the fucked up ones are kinda cute and bearable. So when I'm in those moments where I'm wrapped up in this horrendous quilt of doubt, fear, anger, lack, fucking aggression and discontent.... at least I have a blanket.



SingErin13 said...

Your blog is my new fav.

I can relate to the "squares" on soo many different levels
Thank you!

Liz said...

Look on the bright side of living at home again--there are worse places to live than Colorado!! :) Denver, represent!

Katie Says So said...

I so needed a Chelsea blog to read today.....Yesssss!

You have failed to let me down once again! I love it!

Thanks for being AWESOME!!! When you are having a "bad square" moment, just remember, at least I am not katie and living in central nebraska and buried in all the snow! haha.....

I will now be living my life vicariously through you! ready? GO!!!

Emily said...

i love this post. such a good analogy and such a great blog.

i'm with you on the gossip girl's obsession. it's almost inappropriate how much i love those fictional high school characters. and starbucks christmas drinks. again. glorious!!

is it bad that my comments only relate to the "irrelevent" squares??

brad said...

my bad square days are mended (at least a little bit) by the chorus in Aaron Sprinkle's "Really Something": because some days I actually forget that this is really something

Anonymous said...

Gossip Girl is amazing this season. And ZUMBA instructor? How AWESOME.

Nicole said...

I love this. What a great idea! AND I agree, money sucks.. I too don't have a life plan past December (which also includes MY birthday so yay for that!), as well as the fact that I like Gossip Girl. So your quilt looks fun and exciting to me ;) haha

Anonymous said...

8 men?! 8 MEN?! WOW. Impressive!

I'm so with you -- I'm staring at all my jagged, unfinished squares and wondering WTF? I should just say screw it all.

Ashley // Our Little Apartment said...

The economy is a bad, bad square.

To be young, hopeful, and starting a career right now sucks. Big time. It's quite disheartening - especially since unemployment is up, job creation is down, and companies are going out of business left and right.

Ugh. C'mon Obama!!

Andrea said...

Great idea for a post! I just have to say, I'm usually a Coffee Bean girl at heart, but when Starbucks gets the red cups, I can't NOT go there daily. I adore those red cups and everything they stand for and contain.

Justin Jones said...

hey there my dear!

so I havent been keeping up with the blog in a while, but its a cloudy day here in paradise, so I'm hiding out at a cafe and catching up on some much needed bloggage. and I have to say that your blog is always a pleasure to read -- really, you're an awesome writer! :)

anyway, keep living the life -- you've got a great quilt.

cheers from the other side!

Abby said...

Love the Starbucks holiday cups and Peppermint Mocha! And I have no idea how you are (seeing? dating? conversing with?) 8 men at the same time. I'm exhausted at 3 ;)

Anonymous said...

what a great way to break down life! and dont worry I also have a sicken obsession with Gossip Girl!

Sara Jane said...

8 Men? Really? How do you do it? I am going to call you a Pimpette...the Queen Pimpette at that.

Catalyst said...

Your quilt sounds quite magnificent, past and present, extreme and dire… it is a timeline of exquisiteness, hope, joy, struggles and sanguinity, defeat and triumph – bringing the whole quilt together - YOU. Very cool. I love that idea, what wonderful imagination you have.

Tonya said...

My good squares are my health, playing beach volleyball, and all the great friends I've met this year.

I have plenty of average squares.

the bad square is tying to figure out my career. I'm unemployed and know I need to work soon, but I'm so unmotivated by what I do.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Justin!- Yay so good to see you back here, I hope life down under is treating you well ;)

Sara Jane- I have no idea, I ususaly go YEARS without a single prospect of ONE. There's something strange in the air.

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

good square: i landed an interview with a pretty famous person, that i'm not (now anyhow) allowed to tell anyone about. which makes it odd, but the sense of accomplishment? knowing that i started at the bottom, with zero contact information, and worked my way up to an interview? yes, that is a good square. a good confidence bolstering square.

bad square: the school application square. where i first stress about whether or not i'll get in, and then stress about the fact that if i do get in, how the fuck will i pay for it?

oh squares.

JUST ME said...

Those black sequined leggings are def in one of my squares.

But my quilt is mostly made up of IOU's and scary bank statements. It's flimsy...yet frightening.

Catalyst said...

Oh oh I have a patch!… I’ll call it my C-list patch. I partied on a clients 20 million dollar yacht last night. Not something I can say I get to do..EVER! I also managed to slop my red wine on their precious tea cup poodle and although I thought she looked cool with the punk look, I don’t think that went down very well AT ALL. I guess I made two patches in one night, one klutz patch (I have many) and by b-list shenanigans…. oh yeah! Haha

Anonymous said...

How did I stay away from here for so long? Good to be back. Thanks for the laughs.

Michelle said...

Great post, as usual.

Personally, I'm trying not to see the bad squares at the moment. Perhaps if I focus on the good squares they will multiply!

Oh, and I love GG too!! I have a standing date with a friend of mine to watch it at my place. We dish during commercials and talk about what we think will happen next week. Haha. Yeah, I've been out of high school for, um, a while! Oh well, guilty pleasure!

Kristen said...

i LOVE your blog! ya never let me down..and congrats on writing for the new website! (:

kokostiletto said...

Yea for your new job as a guru - haha i can't wait to read about your tips. and YES RED CHRISTMAS STARBUCKS cups make me so happy :)

kimberlie said...

hmmm....what is ZUMBA? Sounds interesting!

Anonymous said...

Wait a second here! How can such a love for "Gossip Girl" be a bad thing??

P.S. I'm Chuck Bass

Miss V said...

Lovely! The thing that keeps my quilt going is the understanding that it is an ever-changing work in progress - that something which may look tattered and dishevelled one day - could easily be a masterpiece the next. There is always the possibility of new materials, threads and sewing groups and I love that Revel the multi-coloured Limbo! :)

Lindsey said...

Hey, good for you getting a writing job!

And it pains me to realize that in my whole life, I've dated the same amount of guys you're involved in.

Vanessa Rogers said...

I like the metaphor. Very creative. I found you on twenty something bloggers and I wanted to give you my bit of advice for traveling in Europe. If you find yourself in Italy there are two amazing places that don't often make the list that need to: Chinqua Terra, literally five lands. There are five towns right in a row along the Mediterranean and it is just amazing. The other is the Lake District, lots of celebrities have their Italian houses in this region but for some reason you don't hear about it as much as other places in Italy. But it is breathtaking. Okay, there you go, my bit-o-advice.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Hi Vanessa!

Thanks for stopping by, I have been to Cinquterre, it's incredible I too am an unoffical spokesperson for it because it's one of the most beautiful places in the world. CHEERs!