Wednesday, November 12, 2008
My Quilted Life
Yesterday I slept in until noon to avoid eating lunch and breakfast because I gorged on McDonald's at 3am after staying up late after my show downtown, drinking wine from a jug and jammin' out with new musician friends. Sleeping to not eat may sound like twisted thinking, but seriously, I'm thinking it's just smart and thrifty. What do you do if you wake up early, spend money, eat food. Or ya know, work- but I've come to terms with the fact that I will never be functional or productive before 11am, unless I'm hired to have a seat on The View....then I could manage to pony up my game.
My thoughts are going to be pieced together here, cause that's a bit how my life is right now. Piecey. Like a big 'ol quilt. There's a couple jagged pieces that need some work, then there's the plain ones that look completely unnecessary, the heinous overly flashy squares and then a few quality ones bringing the whole thing together. Even the shitty squares are needed or the whole thing would fall apart (unless I went in and replaced them with new squares, don't worry- I'm getting there) ......So here's my quilted life at the moment:
-I still have arms, legs, and all of my phalanges. This is a good square to build on, my body is healthy and functioning.
-Speaking of my body, I am now a certified ZUMBA instructor, which means I'm insane and should maybe considering doing a little speed before each class in order to actually have the energy to do it. Plus, my body is going to be rockin' when I add that to my schedule a few times a week.
-I'm not sure if this square is good or HYSTERICAL....I just got hired to write for a new website and my tag line (given to me off of observation?) The 20something Dating Guru ....oh yeah. You didn't read it wrong it says GURU. Now, usually this would send me into a fit of manic laughter, but back to the "good square".... currently I'm "talking" to 8 men (more than ever at one period of time, it's tempting to call myself a pimpette.....realllllyyyy tempting) and the numbers are growing. Which means my calendar is pretty full, my inbox of text messages is overflowing and thankfully, I have enough subjects to write about to seem guru-y. But the truth is, I'd like to narrow it down to one. The play is fun, but I like undivided attention, both giving and receiving. That sounded sexual, but I didn't mean for it to....You get what I mean.
-The Christmas drinks at Starbucks are back. This aids my sanity like you wouldn't believe.
- I'm singing two nights a week in a show which reminds me every time I'm there, that the music is m heart and that the stage is my home.
The Random Squares- that don't seem necessary but are:
-Gossip Girl. It's sickening how much I love this show....and would like to be a writer for it. ....sick.
-Rice cakes. Look, I've talked about my love for the rice cake in previous blogs. You can fashion anything on a flavored rice cake, they're slimming and fun to eat.
-Has anyone seen the pair of purely sequined black leggings at Express?? Yeah, cause I want them.
-Still broke....but things are looking up. That songs "everyday I'm hustlin', hustlin', hustlin'..." is my Eye of Tiger song. I even look like Rocky when it plays in the background.
-The past two weeks I've woken up everyday with intense cravings for melted cheese and salt. The good part of that square is that I'm not pregnant. Just pregnant with ravenous grease love.
-Living at home with your parents while you're "in between" is a real sex-stopper. Even when you're a pimpette, asking someone to tiptoe in order to not what "Papa Bear" is not a pimp move.
-I need a manicure so bad, it looks like I clawed myself out of a hole.
-Anything past Christmas when it comes to a "life plan" is a complete mystery....right now, I'm looking forward to baking pumpkin pies, Christmas cookies, sipping eggnogs, my birthday! and attempting some sort of caroling excursion. Nothing like getting the people you love together to sing about chestnuts and reindeer.
-The worst thing is, the only thing that's really making these squares shitty...all comes down to a dollar sign. And from what happened with the economy it's very clear that one day you can have millions, the next day you have nothing....so why can't we stop ourselves from getting so caught up in such a fleeting thing??
There's been days when ALL I can see are the squares that need fixing, they stick out so much I've considered torching the whole thing. Sometimes when things are bad, the idea of erasing it all to make it better gives more relief than trying to fix target areas. Then there's moments, days, weeks even, when all I see are the good squares, the fucked up ones are kinda cute and bearable. So when I'm in those moments where I'm wrapped up in this horrendous quilt of doubt, fear, anger, lack, fucking aggression and discontent.... at least I have a blanket.
WHAT SQUARES ON YOUR QUILT ARE PULLING YOUR FOCUS???