Sunday, December 7, 2008
When things are BRIGHT.....
One day you're alone, the next you've met this incredible person who so easily and effortlessly was the exact thing you'd subconsciously been waiting for; though, completely doubtful of them actually existing and by some uncomplicated, divine hand they're placed right there at reach.
One day you're certain that this is the resting point, the point where everything just settles and this is "it." The kind of "IT" where you're not moving, you're just steadily existing in one spot....seemingly forever- when you turn on the "tune out" button and in a moment, "it" has shifted and suddenly you've opened doors and said "yes" to more than you could possibly handle. You've taken a routine and shaken it up, grabbing each little piece and carefully placing them into this new mosaic of a life you've jumped into, then standing back and admiring how well the mismatched, colorful pieces fit together...
One day it's just a dream, the next it's reality.
But it isn't a day, it isn't a single date or action.....it just feels that way. It's a combination of slight shifts in your life. The things you've said no to and the things you've said yes to without hesitation that makes it all feel like ONE DAY. The "one day" when everything just worked itself out was really a slow moving process of thoughts, actions, desires, fears.....that all come together into an acknowledgement of being.
Everything I've wanted and everything I haven't wanted has been placed in the same garden and been watered by the same powerful and contradicting energies, thought process and vibrations and thus flourished into this significantly new way of existence. Of presence.
Everything- everything I'm thankful for and the things that I'm not....I can take full responsibility for feeding...for giving the power and attention to the things that are unwanted and for believing in the things that were so desired and are satiating every intense physical and emotional yearning that I've had......
There is no limit to what we can do- to what we can have.....we are that limiting factor. Circumstance, placement, status, disadvantage...those are trivial things that, unfortunately, we graciously give too much credit, sometimes it's simply easier that way.
"The Universe is not under pressure and neither are we. The baby chick comes out of the shell when it is ready; the fruit falls from the tree when it is ripe and we transform into Spirit when the time is right....don't push the river, let it be."
I read that today and it was so perfect for everything that I'm feeling right now. The goodness that is consuming me was certainly unexpected, though all of it was planted very cautiously and tended to meticulously and optimistically....even in subtle ways when doubt was the stronger belief.
Love came when it was meant to, when I was ready for it. Music came when I trusted that I had a voice for a reason and the right people came when I was unafraid to live in all of the brilliance and spirit, inhibition and confidence that I knew was lurking behind some unnecessary and unjustified negative belief that stood, firmly, in it's way.
Our thoughts are what we plant, our energy is what we water it with....our truths are decided by what we believe, in our heart and in our minds and when the things that we believe are fed consistently with non-belief they'll stay buried under the soil until eventually, they're completely forgotten and will remain unfulfilled prophecies sitting somewhere beneath new cluttered ideas and half-hopes.
Allotting ourselves more responsibility for what grows into our lives is a powerful AND scary thought.....until you see that the good you've grown was brought into being by your own hand.........
and that, is a fucking amazing feeling.