Saying thank you simply isn't enough. The depth of my gratitude isn't as simple as two words, yet those two words hold so much weight, relief, validation.....and still, when I say thank you, it will never be enough. Words mean so much to me they fill me and inspire me, but when I go to say "thank you" I just hope that whether I were to say the words or not, the people I'm thankful to and the world I'm living in, would feel it through my energy, the way I operate and function, the way I give.
I have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to wrap my heart around the people I love. Not my arms, my whole, entire soul. I always say too much because it's never truly enough of what I FEEL. If I can relay the energy and the bottomless love I have for my family, for my FRIENDS....I would pour gallons and gallons of complete, unconditional, enveloping, warm LOVE and my deepest gratitude.
The words "thank you" aren't enough when I want to show my parents that for the past 22 years I would have collapsed without their strength and nonjudgmental support, even when I sometimes didn't deserve it.
The words "thank you" aren't enough when my friends have taken in all of my flaws, my neurosis, my unreliability, my fickleness and they've loved me anyway.
"Thank YOU" doesn't FEEL like enough when I look at the people who have given me a hand, a dollar, a hug, a phone call.... when that little gesture was the exact thing I needed to keep going.
To all of the people who have read my blogs and followed my stories, who have reached out and proven that the world is full of people who are trying to CONNECT; of people who are just like me, of people who stumble awkwardly and manage to get making it look effortless and graceful, of people who are confused and people who are simply trying to exist in their purest form even if they feel like it's imperfect. THANK YOU.
My gratitude runs thick and strongly through every vein, every stream of energy and motion. Since "thank you" is all there is that can put a label on this feeling, then THANK YOU.
I hope that today whoevers table you're sitting at, or if you're sitting alone...whatever dinner you're eating, or drink you're sipping that all of you find a moment of gratitude and bask in it. Maybe you're waiting for a thank you or you have someone who needs to hear it, today you're allowed- you're expected to be vulnerable and open. Expressing gratitude shouldn't need a designated day, but if there's any perfect "starting place", that time is now.
Fully, unconditionally, nakedly.....I THANK YOU. Thank you for words, for life, for colors and light, for bagels and cream cheese, for bunnies and crunchy snow, for lace and leather, for softness and intensity, for "yes" and "no", for "wrong" and right. For the ability to breathe and walk freely, to express and create, to make mistakes and the ability to learn from them, for free will and irresponsibility. For past and present, connection and re-connection, insecurity and perfectionism, confidence and acceptance.
For every moment, for the past 22 years until NOW....I am whole with unequivocal GRATITUDE.
"THANK YOU" because that's all there is.....
WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR????