You know what isn't disgusting; dipping things in frosting- "things" is the interchangeable word here. I'm not above telling you that I've dipped raw Ramen noodles in Rainbow Chip icing, for dinner.
Since, I'm living at home right now in between you know "figuring it out for the 700th time, note: PRETTY SURE your twenties are responsible for; weight gain, wrinkles, and early heart failure- old age and children are NOT" (this may be another key factor to why I would like to shove my face into a vat of lard and live there instead) I'm also living vicariously through my 12 year old sisters body. No, I know- gross to aspire to look like a 12 year old or covet her tiny, tiny frame, but truthfully our boobs are about the same size, so what's wrong with me loathing her six pack? Nothing. Especially since when I was twelve I was on my second set of braces, had a bowl cut, glasses and perpetually sweaty hands- not to mention I was 5'6 and hadn't grown into my "quirky cute" persona, and I was oily. I digress into painful memories....moving on....
SO- the other night we're sitting on the couch and she's eating strawberries (healthy choice for the young doe) and because I knew I shouldn't erase the two hour cardio session I had just punished myself with (wtf. I create faux "Ranger Training" sessions, you know- just in case I join the forces for free health care and travel...or something absurd like that), I should make HER eat the delicious, whipped, CAN frosting in the pantry.
"You know what would be amazing on that??"
Unassuming, innocent-baby-child responds, "What Sissy?"
Offering frosting advice to a child is like saying to an adult "Here, have an orgasm, no worries this one's on me."
The worst part, I made my innocent-baby-child-sister the victim/tester to all things "Dippable" minus body parts- since you know, that would need another candidate i.e. boyfriend, that delicious Twilight boy, Anderson Cooper, our sexy Pres elect OBAMAAA, Jake-y Ghyllenhaal...etc.
The verdict is out: Spreading chocolate frosting onto the Club buttery garlic crackers= surprisingly delectable. Spreading frosting onto fruit always good (you pansy, think outside the box) and spreading frosting onto your tongue with a GIANT SPOON, even better. But the crackers win, something about the salty and the sweet is really euphoria to the palate.
The damn frosting has to go....but throwing away a half-full can of perfectly edible frosting is like saying goodbye to your childhood blankie. Either the frosting goes or I go....
REASON NUMBER 5,697 why I should move out a.s.a.p.