Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Google Analytics are AWESOME
If you don't have them, you should.
I used to find a great deal of pleasure doing process of elimination and figuring out which ex boyfriends of mine were still Internet stalking me by locating them on the map and what not...so sort of, semi-stalking them in return and knowing that "no other person could have possibly Googled my name that lives in (blank) and is a returning viewer...."
It's really a fun game.
Though, not quite as fun as finding out HOW people got to your site in the first place....the amount of people who land on Chelsea Talks Smack by Googling "ball busting" is an alarming number. What I wonder is, when they get to the site- what in the HELL makes them stay on for longer than 5 minutes if their intention was to find "ball busting" anything; photos, stories (which I do have one of) videos, etc.
Here's a few more that tickle my fancy (which I'm sure someone will Google, 'tickle my fancy' now and end up at Chelsea Talks Smack, sorely disappointed and 'untickled'.) Here it goes:
-Elope + Argentina- whoever Googled that, I seriously hope you did it. What a great place to Elope. Congrats. I also got Elope to Iceland and let me personally say, I think ICELAND is a bad choice- ice doesn't scream romance to me. ?
-Funny gangsta quotes..... (I have a feeling they didn't find what they were looking for here)
-Essays on an unwelcome guest- HM,? NO idea. Sorry you must have had a rough holiday...family can be a bit tricky
-Demise of dating and texting- NOW THIS, I'd like to read. Let me know if you found an article on it
DRUM ROLL PLEASE:::: Beijing driver bikini wax::::::
what in the hell?!?!?! and the madness continues....
-Another word for ovulating- though I doubt you found the answer to that on my site, let me give you some answers; Surfin' the crimson wave, A visit from Aunt Ruby, On the rag, etc. Readers, feel free to add to this one if you have some clever phrases.....
-"Sequined SAD penis"......I can't even imagine what they were looking for, a limp dick dipped in rhinestones???
-"Fear of large statues"- Hm, another I do not have the answers for.
-"Nicole Antoinette and porn- Nicole, either someone really wants to see you naked (which duh, why wouldn't they?) or you have a porn site- either way....they're lookin'.
-"Why do you pee when you're drunk"- Because of the massive influx of liquid into your system, you tool.
-"My mom is a hot bitch"- yes, my Mother is a hot bitch, so naturally you'd end up here?
-"I'm single and it's my birthday"- GIRL/BOY, Go out buy yourself a drink and a piece of cake- you'll be fine. Happy Birthday.
-"I want to punch my Grandma"- SHAME ON YOU.
There were also several related to country singers, getting stoned , sex, stripping, Heath Ledger , feminism, drinking and heartbreak.
BUT MY FAVORITE, who happened to stay on for a lengthy bit of time...."PEACE LOVE AND GRILLED CHEESE."
Anyone who is Googling how all three of those brilliant things fit together is welcome to be my friend.
What are some crazy things you've had on your Google Analytics???