Thursday, January 8, 2009
If the bridge BLOWS, burn it. I can swim just fine.
I actually said, "FUCK YOU" to an "employer" last night. Balls? Oh sure, I have a pair but this was simply justice, for me and all the other employee's with a "fuck you" dangling by a pinkie on their tongue.
It was one of those moments when you're holding a (hypothetical) can of gasoline in your hand and and a match and the gain you'd get from actually setting the bridge on fire is better than leaving it standing. Up in flames, baby! There's only so much patronizing talk a person can take, and deserves (which is really never)- especially when its unjustified to begin with. I think when you're in your twenties you're often looked at like you're still "new to the rodeo" and sure, maybe physically you haven't been in their "specific rodeo" but rodeo or not; character, work ethic, talent, intelligence- don't have an age and sadly, are qualities lost on many "elders."
I've always believed in getting rid of your "low worth" anything; clothing, relationships, JOBS, etc. LOW WORTH meaning, whenever you wear that specific dress, the one you KNOW makes you feel like Kirstie Allie (pre and post Jenny) every time you try it on, but you keep holding out until the "day" it doesn't make you feel gigantour anymore and the elusive asshole day never shows.....
...or the relationship you know could be better, but it isn't so you wait, and wait until eventually you surrender and settle as if you DESERVE the "low worth" feelings it gives you.
Or the job that you've shown up to everyday, dedicated like a damn nun to Jesus, loyal and doormat-y and the meetings you've endured, sitting dutifully in front of some schmucks desk with a fancy engraved name place, excessive saliva spewing from his mouth when he says the word "numbers" and talks about his children in private school after cutting your pay by half, only to "in closing" be shoved out the door stripped of any sort of dignity and feeling condescended to the point that you don't know if you actually are as smart, and deserving as you thought you were at 8am this morning before you medicated with a Venti Americano.
THAT, is the "low worth" feeling I'm talking about. The low worth things, people, thong underwear, box of crackers; whatever the fuck it is- it needs to go and if the only way to say good riddens to is to say "fuck you," then profane away. Honestly, if you're at the breaking point of directing a fuck you to someones face, they probably deserved it, unless you're Puck or any of those Real World kids who are just hotheads.
"You're lucky you can do that...." said my Dad all beaten, exhausted and sweaty on his elliptical trainer while conversing at the gym...
"Not everyone can. It's easy to walk away when you don't have as many responsibilities (i.e. spawns, mortgages).....other times you have to endure it because you don't have another choice."
And though, I understood the point he was making- very much so, I also decided; I ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER CHOICE. LOW WORTH, simply isn't and will never be one of them.