Friday, January 23, 2009

Love and all the crusty pieces.


"Someday you'll love somebody enough to touch their feet."

"HELL NO, I WILL NEVER, EVER, love somebody that much- in fact I may love my children that much only while their feet are still fat, haven't touched the ground, and are wrapped in booties disguised as Converse Sneakers. That's the only time."

You know when you start to realize that maybe a lot of the the stuff you your parents said that seemed like "SHIT" in your undeveloped brain is actually true, for instance the feet thing. The other day while My Love was coughing up a lung and snotting everywhere with a heinous cold (I was a willing glutton to contract still making out with him like it was my life's purpose), without hesitation cuddled up in his arms his feet wrapped around me (the way you sit with your baby in the kiddie pool), I reached down....and grabbed his FEET. His bare feet, with both of my hands and just started kneading them? Like it was a fucking piece of dough that I was going to bake and munch on later. Like, "OOO feet, I love you."

The worst part, my MOTHER the always-right-never-loses-told-ya-so- QUEEN, gave me "the look" that just said...."SEE, Mommy knows best."

Love; love makes you like (love?) feet. Crusty feet, big feet, dry feet, awkward shaped toenails feet, clammy feet, socked feet.....whatever feet they've got, you love them. Love makes you love snot and hair in weird places and eye boogers. Love makes you want to contract a beastly mucus cough just so that your love won't feel as disgusting spitting their phlegm into a napkin while you watch if you're doing it too.

Love means taking all the undesirable parts and loving them anyway.

Love is knowing their faults and instead of leaving them because of their habitual lateness, missed dates and disorganization- you buy them a planner and say, "it's all good babe, there's even a belt clip so you don't lose that shit." Blindness? Maybe sometimes, but I'd call is acceptance for the WHOLE person that you love....instead of the glittery pieces that make up their persona. Loving their underground zits and sleep talking, their cover stealing and the fact that they make you look bad in front of your Mother- only because he's nicer to her than you are.


Ah, love.......love means loving feet, when in the past- I would've rather licked a tarantula.

And here I am all gushy and feet touchy and "hold on you've got a little something on your face, let me lick my finger and wipe it off for you...." Love? I think so.


What does love make YOU do????

51 comments:

Hazel said...

love makes me cuddle in bed even though i hate cuddling most the time and can't be touching him when i'm trying to sleep. but with him? i'll let him cuddle, fall asleep, then wake his ass up and tell him to move to 'his' side of the bed.

Deutlich said...

hahaha. i don't know if I could touch feet.

The New Black said...

My boyfriend and I both have an aversion to feet, but there are times when we will give them a little rub...always without being asked. If I ask for it, it won't happen.

I haven't made the jump to rub on his feet yet though...but I don't think he really cares either.

Sebastian said...

I guess I'm a freak, then.

I massage feet. Any feet that I can get my hands on. Often my feet massage has lead to entirely unexpected, but very pleasant, situations...

I think most people LIKE their feet being massaged... except for the hyper-ticklish types, of course :)

raych said...

love made me eat everything she cooked for me ... even the foods i hated.

Wendy said...

I have anything against feet, I'm the first one that will put one out so the person can give me a massage but I hope to god they're clean and fungus-free before I touch them.

Ewwww.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

I love this post! It's so absolutely true.

I don't think I ever had anything that I wouldn't do, say, but I know that his farts are gross and they make my gag reflex work every other night, but here I am, I stay, day after day after day, even though he makes me want to vomit with those smells radiating out of his arse!

suzy vitello soulé said...

What about clipping his toenails though? Are you up for that?

Sarah said...

i totally get the feet thing because i think feet are disgusting, but the day i can look at their feet and not think they're incredibly gross i know i've got something good.

L.L. said...

Oh yeah... I hand out the foot rubs all the time... I've even kissed those feet in the throes of passion. Love is the grossest thing of all, when you think about it.

theoddduckling said...

I don't even think about touching feet. The girlfriend learned months ago that if she put her feet within reach they would be massaged.

I've yet to find something that grosses me out enough that I wouldn't do for her. Of course I'd NEVER tell her this as she would take it as a challenge.

- Kendall

Kate said...

Love has made me touch hair grease, back hair and pimples without flinching. (Man, that makes my husband sound awesome, doesn't it? :)

Lynn said...

Love made me wait to say I love you... cause I don't want it to be said just for the sake of it, ever.

This entry made me smile really big. And I needed that today. :)

Maxie said...

I guess love makes you not judge people for what the enjoy... and not just in a nasty way. lol

Lindsey said...

This is such a fun and true post! Love is funny and makes terrible, gross things not as bad. Like stepping in "I'm half-asleep and missed the toilet" puddles with your bare feet. Totally gross, but love will stop you from freaking out about it.

J-eunit said...

On the lines of feet...I stuffed a miniscule particle of a cotton ball beneath his ingrown toenail...that is A LOT of love!

Kern said...

haha awesome post. I love the use of "glittery" such a perfect adjective. Love is accepting the fact that they fart really loud and in the same room as you (ew). Love is going from not sleeping because they are snoring to get worried when they're quiet for too long. Love is gross!

MarvelousMOM said...

Now that is cute. It is such a great feeling. My husband doesn't like feet at all and he is even getting better with it.

Katelin said...

love makes me not mind when my boyfriend leaves stuff all over the place. i just remind him and eventually he'll do it on his own.... or so i hope, haha.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

wow, see I'm not the onlyperson who does all of those seemingly gross things for their loved ones! lol. Clipping toenails? Haven't gotten there yet.

Alexis M. said...

Hmm...

Love helps me learn to fall asleep with music on and loud, uneven snoring in the background. Helps me try to have patience with someone who is ALWAYS LATE. Helps me put up with trying to make schedules match and time spent together that's too short.

And love let's him put his feet on me...occasionally.

;)

Stephanie said...

Love makes me think irrational thoughts.

sequined said...

Love makes me (and everyone) find annoying things cute, and makes me both more impulsive and more excited to plan. It makes me more giggly and more snuggly and also more honest and thoughtful. I think it just makes me want to be better for that person I love so much.

kateastrophe said...

I just cleaned not one, not two but THREE holy goodness DISGUSTING toilets because apparently he was just running to the nearest one.

I still won't touch his feet though :)

Who? Me? said...

Love has made me do things I can't post about...but I still won't touch his nasty ass feet.

LAB said...

Love definitely makes you tolerate things you used to find disgusting. It's funny that way.

tmamone said...

Actually, I've always kinda had a thing for feet. Whoops, did I say too much?

But you're right, love does make you do crazy things. Which isn't always a bad thing.

irunwithscissors said...

loving feet sure does mean love to me! I HATE feet! good for you! You sound so happy!

Bella@That damn expat said...

Love made me let him use my toothbrush once. Once.

GD said...

OMG. I hate feet. Hate them. I also hate having my feet touched. We both wear socks to bed--I'd hate for an accidental foot brush to happen!

Then I was sitting in the floor in front of him watching a movie and I find my hands on his feet giving him a little massage. EW.
The SECOND I realized it I had to go wash my hands. I was gagging.

Glad you had a better experience.

Lynn said...

Also---- Love made me watch him lick the plate clean (literally) after I cook dinner. And the knife? So weird.

Anonymous said...

Well my precious little Chelsea Bean, I guess I've never ever felt the kind of love that makes me love the eye booger thing, or even feel slightly o.k. with it.
But, You are a genious, so it's o.k. I'm just so happy for you, that I almost went for it.winky!!!
Your Granny.
p.s. you and your uncles still can't shock me with your language, so stop feeling guilty around me.

Stiletto Sports Jen said...

ok if that is the case then I am going to die an old maid. Feet FREAK ME OUT! I will barely touch my own. I won't even pedicure myself unless I *just* got out of the shower and haven't taken a step!

mn said...

it's nice. temporary but nice. enjoy it. these feelings don't always happen.

Famously Single said...

I hate feet. That's how I know if I love someone...if I let their feet touch mine and not care :)

Anonymous said...

Love makes me scratch my guys scalp even though he sometimes has what looks to be dandruff. He asked me too or I wouldn't have.

Love makes me kiss him when he hasn't brushed his teeth.

Lady V said...

Love made me let him warm up his (frankly disgusting) feet on my nice and warm toasty legs.
And wrap him up warm in my duvet, leaving just a corner for me. In a house with no heating. In the winter!

Jules said...

Love makes me comb his psoriasis ridden head to ease his itch.

Love makes me tolerate his nose. You may have had a "foot" issue, I have had a 'nose' one. You know, when they kiss you on the cheek, or from a different angle, and their nose ends up embedded in your eyesocket. I friggin hate that, but I tolerate it because I love him.

Melly said...

We have no qualms about feet - we massage each other's all the time while watching tv on the couch.

However, Love has made me listen to endless monologues about comic book characters and plot lines. Love has made me water down pasta sauce for his liking. Love has even made me consider moving to NEW JERSEY.

Now .. that is disgusting! :)

solo nicole said...

you took the words right out of my mouth!

Pure Klass said...

This is heartwrenchingly sweet!

Love has made me accept that he might actually like me for who I am. Just as much as I like him.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

mn- temporary, hm I hope not hahah.

debi said...

This is so funny because I HATE feet, and I realized how much I love M when I offered to give him a foot massage... I'd never do that to anyone. I don't mind his feet at all!

Lizzie said...

Love once made me okay with the fact that my boyfriend worked at Hot Dog on a Stick. I was shocked.

Blogstiny said...

You crusty girl. Was he wearing those old white shoes before this was written?

Sarah said...

touch feet.

i know, crazy. but seriously, my hubs feet are not fun, to say the least, and when he would beg me to rug his feet after a long day standing and working, i made him shower so they were at least clean. but honestly, if i did not love him, no way would i touch his feet.

Just Playing Pretend said...

I guess I haven't been as in love as you are because I still don't believe ANYTHING will ever make me touch feet. It makes me want to vomit. yuck. I'm impressed you're at that point. Congrats.

Mandy Kay said...

okay, i want to CRY this is so perfect. i quoted you on my blog i am that obsessed... seriously. i love how perfectly you described love... and the fact that some people expect it to always be perfect...but how boring would that be? the best thing about my darling is his flaws, because it helps me to know that i don't always have to be perfect, and most of the times, it is those imperfections of minethat he loves the most in me (to this day i find that so hard to come to terms with, but i'm trying!)

THANK YOU for this. :)

Cahoots said...

Hey Mean Bean-

So, we're doing this anti-love project called 'The Seasonal Snuzzler'- got any insight? :)

http://seasonalsnuzzlers.wordpress.com/

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Jen said...

I've been with my husband 7 years, married for 9 months and I still won't let him touch my feet. You know why? Feet are gross. It's not because of love, it's gross factor.

feet + snakes = top of the gross list.

 
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