Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My date with JURY DUTY
I had JURY DUTY.
Cue the orchestra of sympathetic and tragic violins.
I was trying to be a good sport, like, "oh hey, maybe justice will be SERVED and maybe, I'll get some dirty, sticky fingered, scum bag off the streets! Take that mufucka."
Oh but no......I was summoned for a TRAFFIC VIOLATION. Some asshat who was pleading not guilty, even though he DIDN'T HAVE A LICENSE. No license=no driving. Driving with no license= traffic violation. Violating laws= guilty. This asshat's case= waste of my day.
When they questioned the jurors my smack talking mouth couldn't help but answer completely honestly and say, "Well, this doesn't seem to be a grey matter to me- I think he's irresponsible."
AND BAM, dismissed! That was after I'd spent all day long reading Women's Day Magazine and trying to memorize what power foods I should try to incorporate into my meals on a daily basis (which influenced tonight's dinner; cottage cheese, yogurt, an apple, a handful of granola and a can of black beans?), then listening to 25(or something) jurors list their occupations, interests, parents occupations, favorite radio stations, etc. etc. It felt more like a blind date with incompatible strangers. Side note, listening to excruciatingly slow-talkers name TEN different reality shows they like, and for what reason should be a new form of torture- for your worst enemy, boss, Al Quaeda, whatevs. I digress. Then, after learning that I'm nearly the only person in my county who doesn't watch Fox News, it was already 2:00. Holy hell.
So, I shuffled off uncomfortably the same way people do in airports, cafeterias, to execution, on eggshells, etc. You know the shuffle I'm talking about- the one where you don't want to move too much cause any twitch out of the ordinary could send the already high tension atmosphere into a frenzy of nervousness and who knows, accidental trigger pulling.
And might I add to anyone who designs a courtroom- fluorescent lighting is uncomfortable, we already don't want to be there so if you could at least put a dimmer in that shit, it'd set a better mood. It'd even lend to the somberness.....a pitcher of water with fresh cucumbers and raspberries would be a nice touch too. A spa in a Dixie cup.
So here I am- catching up on all the exciting Inauguration coverage and swooning over the Prez. Michelle, cheers.
Tomorrow my day will resume, back to it's semi-normalcy which will involve: arranging a photo shoot, picking out some radical costumes- 1940's marching band uniforms anyone?, rehearsing, writing, and catching up on some blog shiz. In the meantime here's some EAR CANDY for you- the band I sing in, Eleanor just had some amazingly successful shows this weekend, the goal- coming to a city near youuuu soon!
It's your turn, I need a jury; where would a band like Eleanor perform in your town???