Friday, January 30, 2009
There's NO WAY she does it without a bump of speed.
I'll have whatever she's on.
Look, I'm fully aware that Oprah has "people" that help things run smoothly. I'm sure she has a person for smoothing out her hair, one for carrying tissues and tampons, one for micromanaging what ends up in her pantry and one that can give her a miracle shot if she's feeling a little under the weather. BUT- at the end of the day, it is HER responsibility to execute. No matter how many "people" she has, she is the only one who has to "PERFORM." No amount of money can make someone else do that for you....we still aren't fully supportive of the whole cloning idea, at least not yet.
Right now I'm juggling a whole bunch of jobs and new ventures- plus my personal health and sanity. I'm forgetting to put on deodorant. You know your brain is up to other things when you can't recall whether or not you brushed your teeth today- or yesterday?....Hm.
If I was on whatever Oprah's on, my room wouldn't look like a set from Twister. Someone would be there to make sure I didn't walk around trying to look serious, even though I had a little booger on my nose ring. My car wouldn't look like I go 4wheeling regularly and I wouldn't forget to put mascara on, on both eyes.
Modern day super woman? Fuck yea. Ok, she doesn't have kids or a husband....so she loses points, but instead she has; a school, a TV show, a magazine, a radio show, a production company, a book club, books, a few houses, and a gaggle of dogs....she's really only missing a restaurant, a perfume line and maybe a classy line of sex toys. She is either on the best crack in the world or there's five of her we don't know about. Oprah makes my life look like a vacation and I'm still effing tired.....
Whenever I get a hold of whatever Oprah taking I'm going to FINALLY return all my emails. When I get a hold of what Oprah's taking, I'm going to fold my clothes and put them drawers, instead of creating a fabric Jenga tower.
I'm going to finally start writing the book I've been talking about writing, I'm going to plan my next trip, I'm going to stop avoiding making a "budget plan", I'll take a spinning class, HIKE A DAMN MOUNTAIN, cut my hair, learn to play more than three chords on the guitar and pick up a few more freelancing jobs.
.....but, shit- what if Oprah isn't on anything.....
Is it the entourage that makes her a powerhouse, the money, the midday snack of apples and a tablespoon of peanut butter for an extra boost of energy that makes it all work??? Or is it simply that she just NEVER. STOPS. NO. MATTER. HOW. TIRED. AND HAGGARD. SHE. IS. ??
Whatever it is, she's found a way to juggle so gracefully....and that above of all, is an admirable quality. Now all she needs is a How-To book on managing various careers, maintaining a garden and
kicking ass simultaneously....without look like a frazzled troll. That is a book I'd buy.
If you had whatever Oprah's on, what would you get done???