Monday, March 2, 2009


Have you ever gone through your cupboard, found a can of something with an experiation date in the 90's or an expired box of pancake batter and then, you put it back on the shelf anyway???

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about all of the things that we keep past the point of going bad; jobs, friends, relationships, that random package of gravy mix?, our presence at a party after the clock strikes midnight and everyone has turned into really fucked up versions of themselves and yet you continue to stay anyway.

The excuses always come down to really inexcusable things like; "but there's so much history...I'm not going to throw it away because we would have wasted so many years together." Well news flash to that, you're going to waste your entire LIFE if you stay with someone simply based on history. If there's nothing in your PRESENT worthy of staying for, get the fuck out.
Then there's these (most excuses start with a but), "But, what would I do?" or "But, I don't know what I'm interested in?" or "But, I don't have enough time. " OR, "BUT- I don't want to miss anything."

Sometimes, when you're in a place of making excuses for WHY you're staying, you probably should've left a long time ago.

The situations vary, and out of comfort or fear, laziness or a need to feel wanted in some regard we stick around....

Well here are some signs that I follow when I think it's time to GET THE FUCK OUT.......

1. He refuses to change his Facebook status and keeps it at "Single" or "It's complicated."
2. The cops are outside.
3. The girl who looks like an extra from Pretty in Pink is convincing the men at the party to let her do their makeup.
4. Someone is drinking straight from a bottle of Crown Royal
5. They're trying to pay you less than they promised.
6. One sentence, "I'd like to talk to you about God...."
7. There's a sign that says, "If it flies, it dies."
8. They say something like, "You're good- but not that good." Oh really? Then let them find someone better.
9. The drunk kid grabs the microphone....
10. He grabs the part of you with the most flesh and says, "Are you comfortable with your weight?"
11. You're seeing stars....
12. You cry en route to and from work.
13. They start suggesting you have a glass of water instead.
14. He asks for gas money after a date night.
15. You're doing YOUR job AND your bosses job, minus the pay.
16. "Vanilla Ice" and all of his friends roll in.
17. Your colleauges have Antacid on their desks and pop it like breath mints.
18. "Well babe, you're no Megan Fox...."
19. You're so bored you start creating word games, "How many words can I make with the word BORED....?"
20. You're justifying "why" without anyone asking.....



Anonymous said...

You'd rather go back home and live in your parents' basement.

Anonymous said...

Great post! I have a list of about 72 'red flags' that I watch out for.

Anonymous said...

When some one says, "You know Obama's a Muslim, right?" that's when I know it's time to get out!

Anonymous said...

Haha, funny. I'm trying to let go of some old friends. But it's oh so hard. Sigh... :)

Anonymous said...

#15 for sure.....Oh man, the excuses I am coming up with in my head right now.

Anonymous said...

oh my god AFUCKINGMEN! Seriously. I'm keeping this one front and center.

What about... the only reason I'm keeping up with a guy I know better than to date is because he's fantastic and easy sex? I have no feelings, I don't want to date him, but we're still friends and I almost can't resist the backup fuck buddy until I find my next man...

Anonymous said...

Does cussing every time I think about work count as a reason to find a new job?? Hmmm....

The Demigoddess said...

Oh, shoot.I'm guilty of number one. One month in the relationship, he still hasn't changed his profile status to "In a Relationship". Well, two months in, we broke up.

JUST ME said...

You know it's time to GTFO when your parents encourage you to go get wasted because "we feel bad you have no social life."

ceecee said...

Great question ...

I know it's time to get the fuck out when he tells you he's not looking forward to another year with you; that he wants to be single.


Chelsea Talks Smack said...

tmamone- OH MAN, I've gotten the F when someone said that before!

Rebecca- true...I know the feeling completely.

Lily- every girl has her needs, I dont blame you. THOUGHT, letting go of something may give room for someone better to come along.

Jules- YES


Christina-Damn. CIAO TO HIM LADY! Run fast.

jenji said...

Fantastic topic! I'll add just a few.

I know it's time to get the fuck out when:

-the out-of-town, wannabe grad student steps upon the newly upolstered, antique chair and begins to recite Haiku off the top of her head

-i finally see the inside of my date's house only to discover that the entire living room is covered in wall-to-wall moose, deer and various other mammalian heads, which are all in a perpetual state of stunned taxidermy, wherein the blind date says: "yup, I took 'em all down myself"--as if I could surmise anything other than such a revelation given the double-barreled shotgun that been mounted below said heads and is perfectly highlighted by the overhead track lighting

-when you walk into a breakroom and stumble upon the resident bulimic rifling through the trash and stuffing her face with stone cold leftovers (french fries) that are covered in cigarette ashe and the remnants of the soaked coffee filters

you know, just to name a few.

be well,

keepmovingforward said...

great post!! SO TRUE!I think I actually have pancake mix that is expired but I have had it so long, and am just waiting till I move and I am forced to throw it out..which is pretty similar to my last relationship. It had been my longest relationship, I was just waiting till I moved to completely break away. How f'd up is that! uggh. thanks for that insight--

Brunhilda said...

I don't have anything to add because I'm too tired to be creative, but I absolutely adored your list and giggled throughout it. Perfect!

Chele said...

when he has no bedsheets, I get the fuck out

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU for writing this. This blog has served as a motivator for me to GTFO of the "relationship" I've had with the same unworthy guy for the last 4 years. It's time to move on, rather than waste the rest of my life away.

Your blog definitely has my vote for most encouraging/inspirational. =)

Margarita @ said...

That is such a fab list. Love it. Great post!

Nashe^ said...

There were many times I was guilty of being plain lazy to get out of it. Until I realized I was basically living the single life with the occasional date with the same old guy.

Lindsay said...

When he refuses to get rid of pictures of his ex-girlfriend.

The Blackout Blog said...

When you show have a pseudonym on my blog.

PS, these are outstanding! I'm gonna link on Facebook.

Anonymous said...

GREAT blog I just found through 20sb.

Get the f out when you would much rather sit at home with a pint of ice cream than with him.


Chelsea Talks Smack said...


JENJI- those are SUPERB. Thanks for adding on....the last one, what?!? REALLY?. wow.

sequined- HI!

chele- couldn't have said it better myself.

lindsay- YES, because he should respect that you dont want them around....

tudorcitygirl- THANK YOU, I hope you come back, cheers!

Bon Don said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bon Don said...

When he goes to prison for the fourth time! No?

Love your blog by the way... you offically have a new stalker now!

*Bon Don*

Anonymous said...

*When he starts saying "all the things I've done for you the least you can do is do what I say"!

*When your putting every red cent you have into your "get away" fund.

*When you wake up depressed but fake a smile when you see him/her in the morning.

*When you haven't spoken to friends & family in weeks because you feel like your living in a prison with him.

*When you feel enough is enough.

BDC said...

When you get so comfortable with someone that you say,You dont have a rubber?" Fuck It Lets do it anyway!!!Then it`s time to, "GET THE FUCK OUT"!!!!!!!!

LBluca77 said...

HA I love this list but especially "the cops are outside" So true.

Molly said...

I know that it's time to GTFO when I'm looking forward to coming home before I even go out.

Kellie said...

#4? Yeah, we did that last weekend and it was an all around booze fest. Does it still count if we're all doing it?

Cal said...

that is GREAT advice! somehow when i try to tell someone i think its time they get the fuck out it comes across as either condescending or like i'm joking. i've learned there are some situations when people just need to decide to get the fuck out on their own.
i usually know it is time for ME to GTFO when i try to charge drinks to a tab that i've already closed. sweet.

Helena Handbasket said...

I had a friend who was dating a really awful guy. She didn't want to leave him because what they had was good for a while. She couldn't see how bad it was. So I told her that sometimes relationships are like investments. You have a stock that you have been investing in for a long time and it was doing well for a while. Then it starts to loose money and value. You think that if you just stick around the stock will turn around. You really believe in the company and you don't want to loose what you have already invested. Sometimes, as hard as it is, you just have to cut your losses and move on before you loose everything. She is on her own now and very happy!

rachaelgking said...


I'm so glad I found you! This is HILARIOUS!

Anonymous said...

Great list - it's like he reading he's just not that into you again!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Helena handbasket- thats is seriosuly FANTASTIC advice.

cal- Oh yeah....done that.

lilu- thanks! I'm glad you stopped by!!

bon don- Thank you! I LOVE STALKERS. lol.

Serial Monogamist said...

when you find yourself fantasizing about his funeral.

when you start thinking about laundry during sex.

when you find yourself commenting on blogs when you have a stack of shit to do on your desk.

when all the liquor's gone except the triple sec and the sloe gin, and people have invented the "triple-sloe."

when you start keeping toilet paper in you bedroom so your fucking roommate can buy her own goddam toilet paper.

when you find yourself always being the big spoon, if he lets you cuddle at all.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

serial monogamist- TRIPLE SLOE?!?!

Yeah, I hope people left ALIVE after than.

nicole antoinette said...

Listen Chelsea, seriously, I'd like to talk to you about God...

Haha :)

Mel said...

Ha ha sadly I've had couple of yours happen to me... let me give you some...

Its time to get the fuck out when:

you stop by your dates house and you see handcuffs already on the bedpost

you "go home" after a late night with a guy and his parents are there to meet you.

when you don't remember how you got there

Lindsey said...

When I stop feeling like myself and more like a shell...that's how I know (work, relationships, friendships, parties, everything).

Anastasia B. said...

I HATE the "it's complicated" option on fb. You are either IN a relationship or NOT. what's the deal?!

Beach Shack Dreams said...

Sadly I can relate to way too many of them... though really the top of my list is holding on to that ex even though he's moved on to a new future!

The Smarter Princess said...

Oh I so needed to read that right now. I have a habit of staying for umm...ALL of those situations. Sometimes I think I saty just so that I have a story to tell later! Good for everyone else, not so good for me.

I'm going to try to be better, but if Vanilla Ice walks in I am SO staying.

Anonymous said...

A list to live life by .. excellent observations, will print and keep in my wallet for future reference.

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