Sunday, March 22, 2009

The "Someday" File

I was stubborn and decided I would put on a "bit" of sunscreen on to please my prying Mother and now it looks like someone seared my chest bone and rubbed hot sauce under my boobs.
"MA, I'm that person that gets super tan. I'm like fucking Pocahontas." Says Chelsea Talks Smack, now she's holding a bottle of chilled Pinot Grigio between her breasts because she doesn't have any Aloe.

On vacation in Sanibel Island with my family. We're that family that "vacations." We always have, whether it was Austria, Italy or France, Mexico, or San Diego- we vacation, we drink, we argue, we cuddle and we eat. I'm certain that it's God's idea of giving us a test in unconditional love. Or restraint. It's the Heavens testing out their product like, "did we make them stable enough to not kill a family member under pressure, with a broken GPS and 24/7 interaction?"

The other night when my boyfriend was massaging my ovaries, it's that time of the month and he's kind, what? you'd want someone to massage your ovaries too if they offered. I promise.
I blurted out, in true ovulating form, "I COULD KILL A PERSON."...could I really kill a person? I don't know, we'll see when the end of the week rolls around if all members of the tribe arrive back in one piece. (NOTE: If any of us drown or are killed by some freak accident like choking on a tiny bit of seashell while diving, It probably wasn't ME who did it, just a disclaimer, prison isn't the "big house" i'm looking to visit)

When you're laying on the beach you have a lot of time to think about things like that. Like killing people. Or like "what would it be like to be a bird??" You also have a lot of time to discover extra long hairs that you've apparently missed shaving for what, 6 years? They're like that pesky cockroach that you eventually name, "Hey Steve, nice to see you again, how are those Goldfish? Cheesy enough for you?" ....I've counted exactly SIX leg hairs that I've shaved over five million times, but they've marked their territory, roots are deep. Eventually they'll strangle me in my sleep or something....In between thoughts of killing or getting laser hair removal....

I started reading the book "The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry" by Kathleen Flinn about a woman in cooking school at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris and that's when the mind spun off into a frenzy. After I daydreamed about attending pastry school, taking up smoking and living off St Germain in Paris with my Man- occasionally buskering for extra cash so we could take the train to Prague and drink vodka.

I started daydreaming about all of the things I've filed into the "SOMEDAY" file.

Someday I'll.....

...feel financially stable. I won't fret that the next paycheck isn't coming...
...visit Spain, Brazil, Greece, Ireland, Thailand, Bali, Turks and Caicos. organized.
...get a story published in (fill in the various blanks) in Paris for a few months, where I'll spend all day writing music, stories and cooking. At night all my interesting friends will gather and have heated debates and laugh boisterously. They'll all be characters with depth, talent, pain, stories....
...finally get to tour. FOR REAL. looking at my stomach in a bikini.
...volunteer and stick with it.
...I'll have a foundation that's strong enough so that I don't have to juggle SEVEN JOBS. Oh yeah people, SEVEN.'ll matter that I've worked hard at everything I've attempted, it'll prove to be worth IT.
...i'll eat raw food for a week straight. And I'll love it.
...I'll be able to say with complete confidence that I'm doing EXACTLY what I want to be doing.

ALL of my somedays are so long it's an entirely different blog. Then, as I baked like a Lay in the sun, that saying, "Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes" popped in my head. Dreaming is about as tentative as it can get....opening the filing cabinet and saying, "someday...." may mean it stays there forever?

So. I got up, and found one thing to cross off my list, (there's an actual list...a long a journal) "Someday I'll go kayaking in the ocean." CHECK.
and tomorrow, instead of "Someday- I'll go sailing" I'm going to go sailing. NOW.
The "Someday" File will turn into the "TODAY" file as much as possible, everyday...until my "somedays" are old days.

excuse me while I go dip my breast in the Ice Box.

Someday you'll.....


Anonymous said...

- go to culinary school, but not to be a chef. Instead, just so that when I write restaurant reviews, I'll know what the hell I'm talking about and how to properly pronounce "foie gras."
- sing karaoke. That's right. I have not done this before with the exception of SingStar in my best friend's apartment.
- eat my way through Spain, Italy, and Greece
- visit NYC

Anonymous said...

- live in Europe for an extended period of time again
- have my work be my Etsy shop
- have a car
- have my own place where I can cook all my own food

Those last three are happening in 5 months or less, I just have to wait.

L.L. said...

I wrote a someday post today actually, but it was more like a "you need to get shit done" post. Someday I too will be in good shape physically and financially. And I will travel. Someday dammit.

nicole antoinette said...

I know we sort of talked about this today, but we need to figure our shit out asap, haha. When's travel time lady??

Anonymous said...

Have a villa in Tuscany. That's only one, but it's a big one. Enjoy your vay-cay.

Anonymous said...

-teach Zumba full time.
-have babies.
-travel to Europe.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Lily- I ate my way through must do it too. As far as karaoke, GIRL. YOU MUST. DO. KARAOKE.

Stephanie- where did u live when you lived there??

nicoleantoinette- we're smart girls, we can figure this out.

jules- I share this dream FOR SURE.

notyourplainjane- ONE OF MY SAVEN JOBS, is teaching zumba!! Hell ya!

Anonymous said...

Someday I'll finish school and travel just as much as you have. *sigh

JUST ME said...

Figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing.

...and married to Ryan Gosling.

Anonymous said...

become fluent in Spanish and finish teaching myself the piano.

kwərk said...

Someday I will be making money doing what I love, not what I kind of like.

Hope your boobs feel better! ;)

Anonymous said... as funny in real life as I believe I am in my head.

Probably not though.

Anonymous said...

Your post came in my Google Sanibel Alerts, so that's why I dropped by. :-)

Living here on Sanibel, and coming here for years on vacation, I've learned that the common aspirin seems to be the best thing for relief of sunburn. Take two, every four hours around the clock until the pain stops. It seems to work better than creams and other treatments and the sooner you can start taking it after getting the sunburn, the better it will work. I read that Aspirin is a prostaglandin inhibitor; sunburn causes prostaglandin release, that causes inflammation in the skin and tissues. Aspirin blocks the inflammatory response. Aspirin also targets the brain's pain receptors. So, give it a try. Hope you get some relief from the sunburn pain and also the ovaries. :-) Spoken like a real 'Grandma' huh? Have a great vacation and I hope the whole family survives.

LBluca77 said...

Someday I will convince your family to adopt me so I can go on all these fantastic vacations.

But for real someday I will live in New York or Boston.

Tina Sauers said...

VISIT NYC! I am 33, have always longed to go, and I AM GOING TOMORROW! It is our last stop on a year long vacation, and I can not WAIT!!!

Anonymous said...

There is NEVER a "good time" to follow your dreams. If it were easy to get up and do them, they would be on the "yesterday" list (which I think is just as important to keep things in perspective). Congrats and enjoy where you get to knock two off in two days! :)

Allison said...

Someday I will...

- actually live in NYC. Not across the river from it.

- someday I will live within walking distance of my boyfriend instead of an hour by train...

- someday I will live with my boyfriend (when/if we're married).

- someday I will see more of Europe.

- someday I will have a job I LOVE.

Yep. that's my list right now.

Anonymous said...

New here.:) Someday I will become fully fluent in my second language and tackle a third. :)

Singlegrrrl said...

Kayaking on the ocean was on my someday list, but I checked it off about two years ago and it was amazing.

I'm totally with you about making it a today list. I was just thinking that other day. I want to learn to play my guitar ... well. I want to travel around South America. I want to have more dinner parties. I want to audition for a musical (again. I used to do it all the time as a kid but somewhere in high school I got shy and ten years later I'm still thinking about it.) Life's too short.

Erin said...

-Travel Europe by myself & be confident doing it
-Learn the guitar
-Run a marathon
-Fall in love
-Have my own apartment where I can do whatever the hell I want w/o roommates
-Own my own business that incorporates wellness, balance and film (lol)
-Spend an entire year focused on my experiences and not making money

Andhari said...

AWWW I love the list. Especially on financially stable.

I will want that too.

Along with :
- working at the dream law firm here in the city

-make my own album
-travel as much as I can to new places I've never been, or places i just love
-shop anything I want and afford it
-get my own house

Nashe^ said...

I never fail to tell my shopping buddies, "Someday, I'll walk into every designer store in Paragon (it's like a designer shopping mall in Singapore) knowing I can afford anything I want."

It'll come true one day, I swear. XD

Katelin said...

my someday file is somewhere along the lines of
- traveling to greece, italy, and switzerland
- have a really nice car
- not be afraid to drive my nice car
- stop worrying about everything
- have a family and be totally crafty, haha that sounds so lame but i can't wait to do it

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

I'd love to visit Paris one day too. That would be so great! =)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

tootie- AH thats interesting! a bit scary that I came up! lol

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

P.S. thank you all for sharing your dreams. I love them all. Some of them I have fulfilled others I have not, I share many of the same dreams and desires so CHEERS to you all. May fulfillment come your way.

Tonya said...

Win my A rating in a volleyball tournament...

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

I'd like to add that I stumbled upon my love's "someday list" and it does in fact say, "someday....marry Chels" ah sigh.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

I have a new someday:

SOMEDAY, I'd like to have a wine cellar..built in, beautiful wines of all varietals from all over the world.

Anonymous said...

Not sure where to post this but I wanted to ask if anyone has heard of National Clicks?

Can someone help me find it?

Overheard some co-workers talking about it all week but didn't have time to ask so I thought I would post it here to see if someone could help me out.

Seems to be getting alot of buzz right now.