When you love completely and when you TRUST completely, it can feel like running into oncoming traffic and hoping you don't get hit, and if you do that the damage leaves only little scar. Trusting can feel like walking the high beam and doing a cartwheel, then completely racking yourself because your foot slips.
...then, knowing how bad that hurts, putting one foot in front of the other and tumbling ahead anyway. When you meet somebody, it's the same thing. You learn to know them through their words. You take their words as gospel and believe.
You tell stories and paint them vivid pictures of what you want them to envision your past as. Your "story" of who you are and why you're that way, where you've come from, why you have such a short temper and the real reason behind why you don't drink shots of tequila anymore.... etc. Your Truth is all based on the narrative you give a person....when you're the listener, that's all you know. You believe what they tell you and then store their storybook on your minds shelf.
You learn to know where their insecurities come from, who they first loved, when they were first hurt and how they like their eggs in the morning. You learn their breathe patterns when they sleep, that they always leave the cabinet doors open and that they'll almost always forget their jacket. You learn that they love the smell of Russian Olive Trees, that they'll never finish the bread on their plate and that hearing even a NOTE of a Carrie Underwood song makes their skin crawl. You learn their freckles, their "spots" and their smell.
What you know of a person for CERTAIN is what you see, what you feel and what you experience. What you don't know is that which demands trust for the things you don't see; their past, their stories, them without you.
Whether it's the beginning of a relationship, or twenty years into one you have to practice that act of pure belief in their words. All you have to judge from are the words they give you and in turn, you have to surrender in that space where there's no seat belts, no handrails, no warning signs or safe zones. There's no handbook, no guide or example- there isn't a paper you can sign or a handshake firm enough to ensure your heart's safety.
Then, how after that "first thing" the first fib, first omission, first lie, first fabrication do you get back to that space when you aren't terrified of the bottom dropping out?? It's like handing your sleeping baby over to a person walking a tight rope and saying, "just don't drop them." This time, I'm the person, my heart's the baby and he's the wire walker.
...and even when it's terrifying, we trust anyway. Or we try. We try until it feels safe again to let go, to not over analyze and to run full speed ahead...knowing full well that you could hit a speed bump.
WHAT DO YOU TRUST?? People? Love? Or do you trust at all???
Also, random side note- my mom's dance student Kayla Radomski made the Top 20 on So You Think You Can Dance- so please vote for her!!!