Saturday, August 1, 2009

I Think I CAN, I think I can.......


I'm competitive as fuck.

....AND, I've started taking yoga religiously- yoga+wildly competitive psychopath= potential death.

We're standing in sha-ka-da-sa-na-cha-ta-nooga-choo-choo, my knees are shaking, my thighs are sore from yesterdays yoga, and there's sweat dripping off my eyelashes, forming a beautiful little puddle on my collarbones....Miss Zen Yoga Teacher says (who I'm certain judges me for wearing mascara to class, waterproof of course), "BREATHE INTO THAT SPACE, LET YOUR BREATHE BE THE BUFFER BETWEEN YOUR THOUGHTS, NOW- sink deeper into your posture."

Oh hell no. So, I sink deeper. The chick next to me- sinks ever DEEPER...... we're about to have a YOGA-OFF. Bring it, eye contact is made, I sink to the depths of what looks like a tube of Tiger Balm to come later. If there's someone better in the room, I'll stand RIGHT. NEXT. TO. THEM. If you can kick higher, I'll bust my teeth out by kicking my face. If you sing better, I'll lock myself in a bathroom for ten hours until I can sing a fucking aria in 8 octaves.

If I think I can't, I will.

..... Because when someone told me, "your mind gives up before your body does" I took it as gospel and feel like a week-ass if I give in to my tearing muscle pain, or my doubt.

I'm so competitive, if you told me to balance on my eyelashes, I'd find a fucking way.

You say potato, I say po-TA-to and potato in 27 different languages and variations. Because, I'm a nut job.

Which, yes, I get that doesn't make me very zen, and which yes- defeats the whole "rid yourself of ego" idea and surrender into your practice. But let's face it, I'm only Zen when I'm by myself, I'm listening to indie-chick music and I'm drinking wine. Which, I think is also defined by the word, "buzzed."

So, as I surrendered my thoughts; up dog, down dog, tree pose, pretzel vagina, etc. etc. I realized it really doesn't matter what anyone else is doing, it's not that I care if you're BETTER, it's that I care if I'm not MY BEST. Which frankly, I don't think has a ceiling to it.

Self, is all defined by choices; I choose how fit I am because I choose to exercise and eat healthy. I choose to at least be GOOD at the things I suck balls at because I like proving to myself that I CAN. I've chosen to take responsibility for how far I go in my success, my body, my dreams, because I'm the only one who gets to define what all of that means.

I've never felt bad for the victim mentality. And, I usually only feel bad for myself for about a moment, I cry at myself in the mirror and throw things- then, I CHECK MYSELF and move on. The victim will stay the victim. If life is constantly hard for you, you're expecting it to be. If you're never the best, you're not seeking what you WOULD be the best at, or you're not deciding to be YOUR BEST.

When I'm in yoga, the other people are really just an example to push myself with- and when I am the best in class, my mantra is to surrender; to surrender fear, doubt, limitation, and to move through the tightness, the nagging little voice and to move through it head on, with fierce determination.

I'm competitive, because I LIKE the challenge. AND, because life is too fucking short to not be able to kick your legs over your head. ;) Namaste.



DO YOU USUALLY BELIEVE YOU CAN, OR YOU CAN'T?





87 comments:

bluntdelivery said...

well fuck me.

i don't even try to think i can do any of these things, because the only thing that would give me is a good laugh.

I'm lucky if i can pry myself up from my computer chair before i pee myself.

Sarah said...

i'm an 'if you think you can or think you can't, you're right' kind of person. so if someone tells me i won't be able to do something, you better believe I WILL.

Rachael said...

I applaud you!! That's awesome... I usually think I can't until I see someone else do it, and then I CANNOT be outdone. At least not without a gnashing, brutal fight of some sort.

So... I get you, and I cannot offer any criticism whatsoever! Kick the ass off of those yoga chicks! :)

Sarah Alaoui said...

Kudos on a HILARIOUS post.

"
We're standing in sha-ka-da-sa-na-cha-ta-nooga-choo-choo"

Hahaha, I remember my first time at my new yoga class when the teacher would start saying all the prayers and everyone knew the exact words and I'm just like "uhhhh...".
Also, I get competitive in yoga too, but I finally realized that by looking at what everyone else is doing around me, I'm not improving. When I do the breathing exercises and focus on ME, I stretch better! :)

CuppyCakes said...

I usually tell myself I can.. things like.. OH I can lift two giant kitty litter bags instead of just one. EASY.

Then I popped a disk in my back and now its more a case of I Really Physically Can't, instead of I Can.

Katie said...

pahahaha pretzel...vagina.

you sound like me in my classes. it's bad, we know. but you have to be the "best" in the class. why would we go?! i haven't gone in months and won't until i work on it at home so i don't look like the 60 year olds.

great post.

Erin said...

I know the feeling when you on the edge of no turning back with something you've committed yourself to, and then that small little UMPH, pushes you there....

If you can think it you can be it... I think that was one a 4th grade motivational poster. ha

Anika said...

A-freakin'-men!

I cannot relate directly to the yoga challenge but I hear you LOUD and CLEAR on the competitive nature thing hun. I will compete, unwittingly and with recognition of doing so, on anything and everything.

And yes, life is too short.

p.s. love the words in this post. Fierce. Challenging. Love.

have a fantastic week...go balance on those eyelashes ;)

Lindsay [Bella Cene'] said...

lol Yoga is hard stuff! I'm only a little competetive... If I know I can't do it, I'm not even gonna try to prove you or myself wrong. lol But if I think I might be able to do something, you can bet your ass I'm gonna try!

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

You are so freaking nuts I love it

I'm competitive.. but only if I can actually do it without lying LOL!

Jill said...

pretzel vagina...you rock, chica!

chelsina said...

I really needed to read this post; you bring up so many valid points that transcend so many different aspects of life; especially the victim will stay the victim.

thanks for inspiring me today:)

lovelila said...

I LOVE THIS POST!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! First of all, you sound way more competitive than I am... in fact, you probably are. Secondly, I'm totally with you in the school of "I CAN." Though there are some things I refuse to do, there's not much that I believe I CAN'T do. I can't stand when people tell me "Oh, that's going to be hard, you won't be able to do it." It just makes me want to do it that much more. I will MAKE IT HAPPEN!

You're awesome.

Lexilooo said...

Whoa. I want to start doing yoga, but I'm pretty sure I cannot balance like that!

(there are other things that I can do though!)

DShan said...

I always think I can. I probably possess a little to much "Oh I totally can do that" for my own good.

indigotangerine said...

you totally cracked me up.
I'm not as competitive as you but I am a strong believer that with careful instruction it is possible to do anything. bake a ten layer wedding cake or master yoga. They should make yoga a sport judged on how much "zen" you can achieve
-indigo

Gabbi said...

Very much relate! Also very competitive... :D

Jill Pilgrim said...

Ahh, yes. I know this feeling very well. I am also highly competitive, to the point of social awkwardness. For example, I recently kicked my father-in-law's ass at Trivial Pursuit and was unable to stop myself from doing the guns-victory-dance in his personal space. Hmm, maybe that just means I'm an ass?

Lexie said...

this post cracks me up! i cant imagine yoga being competitive!

Brett Alexandra said...

You are a really good motivator for me. I usually think I can't. I hate to admit that. I am trying to be the opposite..like you. Sometimes its hard but like you said, LIFE IS SHORT!

Felisa said...

When I was reading that yoga bit? I seriously thought you were gonna say that you broke a bone or something like that. Haha

Anywhos, glad you didn't!
"It's not that I care if you're BETTER, it's that I care if I'm not MY BEST."

That's what it is for me. I don't like competing with another individual but in everything I put my heart to, I better be the fucking best. So the last time I did Ab Express at my gym? I couldn't laugh without my abs hurting for about a week.

YOUR FAVORITE, KIRSTEN said...

i really enjoy yoga and wish that i was competitive so that i would push myself more. my mind definitely tries to make my body give up and unfortunately i sometimes give in.
ps. i tagged you on my blog!

Lily G. said...

way to be competitive. That shows you're passionate about things!

Kellie Collis said...

I like to think i am not competitive ha but i dont like anyone being better than me... Yeah i am definitely not competitive !!

LiLu said...

Lately I've been wrestling more with "should" or "shouldn't". It's so hard not to be bad...

Lisa-Marie said...

Hurrah for being competitive! People say it like its a bad thing, but its not (unless it makes you swear at a Wii game like me, then you should be quiet really).

Like you, I think I can generally.

Doniree said...

Sometimes, Chels, your so fucking inspiring it HURTS. I like to think I'm a can person, but I'm also very aware of the excuses I make for not going after things. I've missed yoga for the past few weeks and decided this morning that changes this week - this has not only fueled that motivation for me, but makes me want to kick the shit out of the rest of my tasks this week as well!

Sara Jane said...

I'm with you. I started Yoga about a month ago and what I'm struggling with is that my body doesn't quite bend the way it did when I was in high school. I worked so hard to gain flexibility when I was dancing and then let it go to shit. I find in yoga, the more frustrated I get, the sooner I fall out of a posture. The more I think, the less I breath, and the more I want to be the girl next to me, the more I suck. I guess I've found that with Yoga, the only person I need to be competitive with is myself. Did I try harder today than last class? Did I push myself to stay when I wanted to come out?

It's be a huge mental shift, but a good one as I remember that perhaps there are things that I used to be able to do, but I'm not that person anymore. And there are things that others may do better, but there are other things that there's no way they could compete with me on!

Good luck on the eyelash balance! Let me know if you find the secret!

Tink in My Closet said...

Fuck your words are amazing!! Thanks for the compliments love!! I will be more than happy to style you and your amazing band!! When your famous and even when your nobodies!!

I will tour with you and you can read me stories like these!!

Oh and i float between can and can't!

Erin said...

This is hilarious. I'm totally like this too. I have often held a pose though I'm shaking like I'm having a seizure, just because no one else had dropped the pose and I'll be damned if I do.

Summer said...

Um. That's hilarious. And yeah, I don't do the role of a victim. I guess I'm too much of a bitch. lol.

BTW I was judged once in yoga class for wearing a scented body lotion... BY a hairy man wearing spandex who smelled like a donkey's armpit.

Melissa said...

Have I told you before how much I love your blog? Cuz I do. And uh, I challenge you to balance on your eyelashes, cause I've found away to do so on my chin lol.

Joy @ BigTimeFancy said...

This post makes me think of Zoolander. And the walk-off.

I wish David Bowie was always around to officiate these kinds of things...

Kris said...

I'm competitive for sure, but I also steer clear of things that I absolutely WILL NOT/CAN NOT do. But who knows, everyone grows a new set of balls now and then.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Melissa- Thank you! and GURL- I'll get a picture of my balancing on my eyelashes and hopefully itll take it before i break my face. lol.

Phoenix said...

first of all - how hysterical is it that you got competitive with your ZEN... somewhat akin to the phrase, "I'm more laid back than you." Also, as someone in a very competitive industry -- I am constantly aware that biggest competitor in the room is ME -- that if I don't push myself to be better than I was yesterday, it doesn't matter what anyone else is doing. Screw them... I have to do the best that I can do.

You rock -- wish I could see you challenge someone to a Yoga-off.

sequined said...

I am always pretty confident in my abilities to do things until I'm facing something like a race. I was sure I could successfully train for a half marathon, but then when it was a week before the race, I was terrified I'd not make it. And then I pushed through and made it, and I felt awesome. So it's a push/pull kind of deal in my head.

bigmamacass said...

Sadly, i don't have your gusto... I NEEEEED your gusto... but I don't have it. Maybe you can teach me :)

sarah said...

Unfortunately, I just about always believe I can. Do I need to tell you how wrong I have been sometimes?

Kristin said...

I used to be the same way with the treadmill (back in the day when I used it, ah ha). If the person next to me ran faster I did everything I could to keep up. Even if it was a dude who I could never possibly catch.

Allison said...

This post made me laugh multiple times. I LOVE that you get competitive - even in yoga! I think that is just fabulous (and not very centered, but you're just hysterical, so who cares!). Loved this post, jealous of whoever can contort their body that way in the picture (I've been doing yoga for 5 years and wouldn't dream of attempting that), and I think you're just a fabulous, fabulous writer.

Nicole Marie said...

oh my gosh i'm not competitive at all! and as soon as something become a competition and not just for fun, i'm out. i also crack under pressure badly! i'll be winning forever and then as soon as theres a bet on the line i crack!

oh and mad props for you doing yoga. i did one class and it was so hard! i like pilates though!

Michelle said...

I LOVE your blog! So honest and funny. I'm definitely linking you!! xo.

•¦Amy¦• said...

That's wonderful! The fact that your competitiveness is about you competing with yourself that's what it should be, and what my ballet teacher's tell us on a constant basis, you aren't competing with your neighbor as much as you're competing with you. :)

I think quite often that I believe I can't, which isn't good, but I have such a stubborn attitude (and always have) that I tend to tell myself "Fuck even if I don't think I can do it I'm sure as hell going to try to do that and more!".

Love your blog. <3 Thank you for commenting on mine.

-Amy

Nicole said...

Hey there! Thanks for commenting on my blog so I could find yours-- this is a hilarious post. But I like how you come to the conclusion that the only one you're competing with is yourself. Who will win: you or you?

King of New York Hacks said...

I do taxi yoga just to get to a fare....I can sense your competitiveness. Just dont become a pretzel.

chicknamedhermia said...

Hey Chelsea,

I'm getting in touch with everyone on my blogroll to help me with a new Discover the Undiscovered Blogs project I'm trying to kick start!
Let's Hear It For The Little People!!lol!
Info is here: http://chicknamedhermia.wordpress.com/2009/08/03/discovering-the-undiscovered/
...so please do help!

Meg said...

Oh my God. This totally reminds me of the time I took a Bikram class where I literally died (I too, blogged about it.) The only difference is that you'd probably be the one who'd be kicking my ass ;)

Becca Christensen said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog and I'm glad you enjoyed. I hope you'll read me again. : ] In response to your entry - I'm EXTREMELY competitive. More with myself even than other people. So I relate to your entry. Great writing. I'll be back.

bananas. said...

k well we can never be put in the same room together because i'm competitive as fuck too! and when people tell me i can't...oh i know i can! it's kinda bad sometimes tho. i wish i wasn't...but it makes for a fun life.

Moorea Seal said...

love this. I am SOOOO competitive with myself its ridiculous. i just think i can do better at everything, better than my 1st try, 2nd try 3rd... blablabla. its a little exhausting sometimes.

Ashley said...

ha, I tried yoga for a while.
I quit when I realized I was getting no better and everyone else in the class is better than me.
That happened with spin too.
There is only one sport I excel in and can be "better than the others" so I stick to that! haha
Way to give it your all though!

Taylor said...

I really love this post. I think I'm gonna save it (not in a creepy way) so I can read it when I'm feeling like I can't do anything. Thanks for this!!

lisa said...

There are actual yoga competitions, which seems oxymoronic considering the Zen nature of it all, but there you go--a new goal for you to aim for. :)

Elizabeth Marie said...

Yoga is not for pussies!!! DUDE I was so surprised when I did it...it makes me not want to go back again, but I love a challenge like a sick motherfucker.

Meg Fee said...

first: love the blog title. hi-larious!!

second: i love that...that idea that there is no ceiling for your own potential. jeez louise i love that and i wish more people thought that way.

third: the whole post was hi-larious.

fourth: i think i'm gonna be spending some serious time here.

emrlds said...

seriously, laughing hysterically on the standing on eyelashes. that's amazing. we should probably try. i bet you'd win.

Elle Bee... said...

This post is awesome, and hilarious. I try to have a "can" mentality most of the time. I have brief moments of weakness, we all do, but I'm all about getting shit done.

Dooder City said...

I am competitive too. I do yoga but I run also. While running I am screaming in my head 'you can fucking do it!' I also love you say fuck on your blog...it is really one of my fav words of all times.

Chessa! said...

we are so similar. I'm constantly pushing myself and comparing myself and trying to be better. the comparing part is a disease that I am desperately working on...I need to stop doing that. it's bad for me. as for the yoga...it's supposed to be this zen place yet I always find myself comparing myself to the bendy beeotch next to me who downward dog looks so much better and why can she hold her wheel so much longer and wtf she's on her head already? aah! clear my mind my ass...this is NYC where beautiful women roam the streets like wild animals and taunt you with their perfect butts without any saddlebags in their lululemon pants. sigh...but, yes, I'm working on it and ironically, the thoughts quiet down in class...even if for just a minute...
btw, standing on your eyelashes...nice. :)

Manju said...

haha!i'm just like that with yoga!
love this post!
thanks for your comment on my blog :)
xx

Carol said...

You totally can! I actaully tried wakeboarding for the first time this weekend, thought I couldn't...but I did! 3rd try!

eschete said...

good post. I think competition in your life keeps you moving forward. If you don't have it life gets boring

ryan

Samantha said...

i hope you won that yoga off, i tried yoga a couple times, and i push myself way harder than i should and feel more pain than relaxation lol and i have terrible balance.

carma said...

I took a yoga class many years ago. One of the drawbacks was that the teacher DID NOT SHOWER...He stunk. Pretty distracting when I'm trying to get all Zen :D

I can just see this Yoga-Off on SNL!

Midtown Girl said...

oh hell yes to being competitive.

What would be the point of being driven if you no one to drive by?!

Love this post & your blog name is now one of my favs.

MG

jessica said...

oh CAN.
i'm such a can it's a pain in my ass because sometimes i just want to throw in the towel.
but i don't.
the battles we have within ourselves is just so entertaining.

<3

trckalovesyou.com

Diary of a Young Designer said...

Lol, I've tried to do yoga on my own precisely because of how competitive I can be. It actually sometimes gets pretty scary. Lol, so I can totally relate to you. Hope you feel better in your sore spots!

xo
Sophie

this wheel's on fire said...

wow you win! i'm pretty sure you could kick my ass ;)

Is This Real Life? said...

Great post!
I think you should always believe you can or you will never be able to get what you want/deserve!
awesome blog!

Maria Confer said...

I usually believe I can't and that will hold me back for a bit, but I'll eventually try and realize I can.

Amy --- Just A Titch said...

God, I'm so freaking competitive, it's ridiculous. Seriously, if I think I can't do something? It makes me want to do it more. Stubborn much? :)

ceecee said...

Is that you in that picture showing off your yoga moves??

I'm usually the person who thinks she CAN'T...Lost my self-esteem and confidence somewhere in my life, but I think it's getting better.

hisredhead said...

I almost killed myself a couple weeks ago in a kickboxing class because I was trying to keep up with the people that had been going twice a week for months. Damn our competitive nature. I know what you mean that it's not about being THE best it's about being YOUR best. I push myself at everything.

Slices of Beauty... said...

Wow!
I can.
Exercise and health food, am with you.

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ALYSON HANNIGAN NUDE
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RACHEL WEISZ NUDE
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RACHEL WEISZ NUDE
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LINDSAY LOHAN BREASTS
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LINDSAY LOHAN BREASTS
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JESSICA SIMPSON NIP SLIP
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JESSICA SIMPSON NIP SLIP
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MILLA JOVOVICH NUDE
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MILLA JOVOVICH NUDE
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Anonymous said...

BRAD PITT NUDE
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BRAD PITT NUDE
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LUCY PINDER NUDE
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LUCY PINDER NUDE
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LAURA PREPON NUDE
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LAURA PREPON NUDE
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LIV TYLER NUDE
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LIV TYLER NUDE
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EVA LONGORIA NAKED
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EVA LONGORIA NAKED
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Anonymous said...

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HAYDEN PANETTIERE NAKED
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ANNE HATHAWAY NAKED
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ANNE HATHAWAY NAKED
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ROSARIO DAWSON NUDE
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ROSARIO DAWSON NUDE
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ADRIENNE BAILON NUDE
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ADRIENNE BAILON NUDE
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KIM KARDASHIAN PORN
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Anonymous said...

SHAKIRA NUDE
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SHAKIRA NUDE
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ROSE MCGOWAN NUDE
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ROSE MCGOWAN NUDE
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HALLE BERRY NAKED
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HALLE BERRY NAKED
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KARI BYRON NUDE
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KARI BYRON NUDE
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EMMA WATSON PORN
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EMMA WATSON PORN
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Anonymous said...

ADRIANNE PALICKI NUDE
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ADRIANNE PALICKI NUDE
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MORENA BACCARIN NUDE
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MORENA BACCARIN NUDE
[url= http://my.curse.com/members/LIESELOTTE7.aspx ] MORENA BACCARIN NUDE [/url]
MARLA MAPLES NUDE
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MARLA MAPLES NUDE
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NICOLE NARAIN NUDE
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NICOLE NARAIN NUDE
[url= http://my.curse.com/members/LILIANA6.aspx ] NICOLE NARAIN NUDE [/url]
LARA FLYNN BOYLE NUDE
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LARA FLYNN BOYLE NUDE
[url= http://my.curse.com/members/LILLIA1.aspx ] LARA FLYNN BOYLE NUDE [/url]

Anonymous said...

BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD NUDE
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BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD NUDE
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DAISY FUENTES NUDE
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DAISY FUENTES NUDE
[url= http://my.curse.com/members/LONNIE2.aspx ] DAISY FUENTES NUDE [/url]
DANNII MINOGUE NUDE
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DANNII MINOGUE NUDE
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DANNEEL HARRIS NUDE
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DANNEEL HARRIS NUDE
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ANGIE HARMON NUDE
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ANGIE HARMON NUDE
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Anonymous said...

ERIKA CHRISTENSEN NUDE
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ERIKA CHRISTENSEN NUDE
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BROOKE BURNS NUDE
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BROOKE BURNS NUDE
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SOPHIE ANDERTON NUDE
[url=http://my.curse.com/members/LORETA3.aspx]SOPHIE ANDERTON NUDE[/url]
SOPHIE ANDERTON NUDE
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KARINA SMIRNOFF NUDE
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KARINA SMIRNOFF NUDE
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TARYN MANNING NUDE
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TARYN MANNING NUDE
[url= http://my.curse.com/members/LORIANN5.aspx ] TARYN MANNING NUDE [/url]

 
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