Sunday, August 23, 2009

I want the REAL SHIT.


All we're really trying to do is connect.

To see if someone cares. We tweet. We blog, we upload and update. Then we refresh- does anyone "like" that thought? Does anyone care, at all?

If the core purpose wasn't so that we'd make a connection with people, we'd keep it private. We'd scrawl it in a notebook, or a sticky note and let it go. We wouldn't give a damn enough to let people know we were wearing fucking sequined leggings, but we want to believe that people actually give a fuck. Do we?

Sometimes, I wish there was an obvious 3D way to prove we're actually making a connection. Besides feelings- which to be brutal aren't always reciprocated. So we go on chatting and blabbing as so-and-so dreams up what they're having for dinner as you slit your heart open on your sleeve and they Twitter, "Mexican food or PBJ?"

Verbal communication can't be "saved" or archived, it just has to exist- and then we forget it. And then, when we've started relying so much on virtual connecting the 3D stuff ends up getting harder. We're scrolling through proof on our iPhone (or what have you) that "people are out there understanding us" while we're in a room full of tangible beings, with audible voices and body heat.

One-way head nodding conversations while we miss the connection completely is making me feel empty. Assurance through comments, emails, and people throwing Super Poked sheep at you is all lovely- but while we're trying to connect, are we missing out on the tactile connection? Has our security in relating to people/things/life boiled down to whether it exists on a web page or not?

I want 3D.

I want the equivalent of "like buttons" when I'm engaging with the people I know. I want actual flowers not pixelated ones. I want a postcard that has fingerprints and smudges, imperfect handwriting and doodled smiley faces with a random postage of a Disney character, or your state flower. I want an invite on stationary with shiny pieces of confetti and an rsvp card to scribble "accept +1." I want a real toast, with clinking glasses and splashes of red wine on napkins and tablecloths, instead of a virtual margarita.

I want to flip through the jacket of a CD and feel the gloss of the paper while I read "thank yous" to people I don't know, instead of reading iTunes reviews from faceless user names.
I want to know what your voice sounds like. I want to hear inflection and stumbling when you attempt to find "the perfect word."

I don't want to be texted "I love you" I want to hear it. Being the trend instead of creating the Trending Topic. I want to listen. I want to smell, make, taste the recipe instead of comment on it. I want my ears to ring from the high note of a belly laugh. I want eye contact and big bear hugs, instead of multitasking and hurried taps on the back. I want to connect equally, with as much depth, to the people breathing my same air and standing in front of me, as I do to the ones reading this.

There's a beautiful and magical way in which we can make a connection with virtual (no pun intended) strangers, simply by putting out our words. Our images and ideas. The connection isn't any less valuable.........in fact, its priceless and I'm stupidly grateful that I have it, especially when my 3D world feels, lonely. Or empty.

......but what happens the we're all so caught up virtually that we neglect what's solid right in front of us?



3D.....OR 2D? What do you want?







103 comments:

lovelila said...

3D, hands down. No question about it! Sometimes, I just have use 2D to get there...*sigh*

I miss having a penpal. LOL!

Mel said...

I'm with you. In this 2D world I feel a little in and out of my element. All of my 3D friends think I am this super techy girl who loves twitter but my 2D presence is barely existent.

I'm nowhere. Either 2D or 3D. *sigh*

LOSTPLUM said...

3D all the way! (I'll even wear the glasses if we could all just go 3D!)

kokostiletto said...

Great post. Perfect timing. So much of the 2D world it's not eevn funny! I'm guilty of thriving in it... because I do see it as a benefit but I agree that our 3D lives suffer in lieu...

Sid said...

Isn't it possible to have both? I read the thoughts and rants of strangers everyday, and I'm dying to meet them. Dying to hangout with them and JUST BE. This doesn't mean that I'm neglecting what's in front of me ... I hope.

siovhan said...

i want to be you after this post.

this is what i want. i'm sick of being lost in the mundanity of the interwebs. i want interpersonal interaction and affection and acceptance and love.

kudos.

Just Playing Pretend said...

Pixelated flowers don't do it for you huh?

I should have just gone with the ecard.

Michelle said...

Amazing, as always.

CuppyCakes said...

I kind of have to rely on 2D at the moment because my bestie and my boy are both currently on the other side of the world. But my family is near and nothing beats a jump-and-fling-yourself hug from my neice. So, even though I'm relying on 2D just now, I definitely prefer 3D.

Katie said...

i love real mail and margaritas. :(

tmamone said...

I so want to marry you right now! But I don't think either one of our significant others would like that.

But yes, this is what I've been trying to say for Lord knows how long! It's great that new technology is opening up the doors to communication and connection, but are we really communicating? Are we really developing friendships and relationships? Or do we just want to have a huge number of online friends just to say "Look how popular I am?"

I want real relationships that extend beyond my MacBook.

Melly said...

2D and 3D can exist and be fulfilling - if a balance is maintained.

My 2D life mimics my 3D life. Friends who 'hug' online also 'hug' in person. Jokes are passed, pictures are shared a little more easily - but the conversations are the same. For my cross-country friends, I love communicating without worrying about a 3 hour time difference.

When D. texts "I love you" - my brain automatically references the millions of times he's said it in person. I can practically hear the words.

For those I've only met online, my 2D friends, to be deadhonest, we're not that close. Losing them would never be the same as losing a 3D friend.

Just keep a balance. Walk away from the screen sometimes. :)

Meg Fee said...

3D. for love of all things, 3D please!! yes, smudges and fingerprints on a postcard--you said it perfectly!

Kyla Roma said...

I definitely want more 3D in life- but I find that finding people with similar interests is really hard here, and the 2D connections help fill the gaps.

Taylor said...

I thought this was a goodbye post! And I got really sad...

teresa said...

Yes. 3D/2D, use them both, but don't sacrifice one for the other. so, how do we begin to do that? i fear the longer we go without touch, the more we lose touch.

just me said...

2D is so much easier for people.

Two emails sent to me in the past week have been full of stuff certain people are too jackshit afraid of to say in person.

I refuse to do anything important over email. Tour emoticons will not make everything better!!

Erin said...

You always write such great posts, Chelsea.

I also want 3D. I enjoy the online world, but most of my time is spent in the "real world" and I like it that way.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Sid-I think it IS possible to have both, but i think its very easy to slip so far into 2d that 3d suffers.

siovhan- well thanks miss lol :)

cuppycakes- ah yes, my best friends don't live in my state either :( in fact half the time theyre touring around the world and i HAVE NO IDEA where they are, so I understand completely.

tmamone- hahah yeah they may have a problem with that lol. I'm sl glad you agree though

melly- COMPLETELY, losing 3d friends is HEARTBREAKING. really what I mean is that so much of our life is connected to 2d that we can neglect our 3d....when 3d people are together they aren't necessarily connecting the way they could be.

taylor- I'M NEVER LEAVING, NO WORRIES!!! :)I need my 2d blog life also ;)

kyla- very good wya to put it indeed.

just me- i hate that. Say it out loud, emails are so easy to hide behind

erin- thank you and indeed. that's how it should be :)

Wine and Words said...

This is one issue I am having with the blogging world. I am getting to know these people, depend on them in a way, love them in a way, and now virtual is not enough. I want to know them with skin on. I want to see faces and expressions and environments. I hear you on this one.

juliewood said...

-the feeling of like is mutual my dear-

Kell said...

i loved this. i loved it, a lot. so many of these memorable and tangible things are being tossed out the window - it's a sad reality. i love getting mail, and would much rather receive a hand written letter than an e-mail. wish there were more people still like that!

miss. chief said...

i love being pen pals with people, anyone wanna set it up?

JKreids said...

I agree. The past two years the only acknowledgement I've received from my parents on my birthday was a text message. This year Dad just wrote Happy Birthday on my Facebook wall. No phone call.

Unacceptable. Technology is lazy.

hiphophippie.com said...

Fuck yeah! This just made me 3D happy!

kage said...

You MUST watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAGoqhXtrX4

This is what I think about ALL OF THE TIME!!!!! 3D....in person!!!!! We get so lost in connecting via technology that half the time we're blind to the people all around us. I'm going to post this link on my blog asap with a link to your post as well because it is one of my all time favourite commercials and that post you wrote was GREAT :) Hope you watch the video!! I hope EVERYONE DOES!!!!

•¦Amy¦• said...

3D No matter what!
I miss actually talking to people...even over the phone if not in person. People who I used to stay up 'til morning talking on the phone with will now only text me, or send me something on facebook.
I miss sending letters and writing notes...I miss actually seeing the people I talk to...with all we've aquired in technology we've lost and equal or greater amount of humanity.

Phoenix said...

I think technology has turned into a double edged sword...we use it to connect with so many people at once that it disconnects us from all of the people we actually care about, creating what you called those 2-D friendships and relationships. What are we using technology for? Convenience, or to hide ourselves, or to find even better friends and make relationships even closer by closing the distance? I guess it's our choice...and you can probably guess that if I had my choice of 2-D or 3-D, which one I'd pick.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

kage- o i love when people give me vides to watch...going to watch now!

Kacee said...

Incredibly well written and a fabulous reminder. 2D is EASY. 3D is HARD(er) but more rewarding and genuine.

Elizabeth Marie said...

This is amazing...I'm going to link to it in tomorrow's post if thats ok?

Brandon K. said...

3D



dope blog , follow mine , brandonkinard.blogspot.com

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i think i want a combination of both. because im empowered by how honest i can be in my 2d world, and how i can connect with someone.

but there's nothing like being told you are loved, or hugged, or smelled the roses.

Big Red said...

3D all the way!!! I am more lazy in the 3D world, but at least I am real.

Hal said...

I totally find myself lost and unbalanced between those two worlds, mainly being obsessed with 2D, and I have to physically remove myself from a laptop/phone/ipod...

BUT I could never live without both now that I've found them! Great post!

oliviakate. said...

honestly, where do you get these topic ideas? you are always so dead on!

krystal said...

interesting i just read this article! read it you will love: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB20001424052970203550604574358643117407778.html#mod=todays_us_weekend_journal

skinnylove said...

I think about this all the time! I especially feel bad for the younger generation, this is all they know. I think there are going to major one on one communication issues for our little youngsters... its sad.

But, its also nice to know that there are other ways to relate to people on a lonely night. =)

nicoleantoinette said...

You know, I actually really love a combination of the two, because 2D has lead to so much lovely 3D.

Like YOU :)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

oliviakate- I don't know I have such a crazy brain! It makes me nuts, I have to get them out somewhere!

nicoleantoinette- wel obviously you know that I am so grateful for 2d because I met you, 3d- and OBVIOUSLY, I love you.

miss chief- YES!

amy- aw i miss long late night phone conversations :(

phoenix- precisely

elizabeth marie- absolutely, I would appreciate it actually, thank you so much!!! :)

hal- I think "unplugged" days are essential

alexa- true, it is empowering, lord knows I feel that way when I get to speak my mind on my blog. I understand that.

honestchitchat said...

I say this is the 21st century. I think we all kind of have to suck it up or go live with the Amish. I hear they're taking applications.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

honestchitchat- well obviously, I hear the part about 21st century- i'm a blogger :) and weite for websites. Maybe part of the reason why I crave 3d so much lately is because so muhc of my life is 2d...though i'm grateful for it, sometimes the idea of being amish for JUST A WEEK wouldn't suck too bad.

thesydneygirl said...

fantastic post! really makes you think.

3d and 2d both have their negatives and positives. we really need to try and have a balance.

i definitely don't let the '2d' get in the way of my '3d' life :) and vice versa - cause i like to make time for my blog and blog friends =)

xxx

{lovely little things} said...

I would love to have a "like" or "unlike" button when engaging with people - sometimes the concepts of facebook would save so much time with people not worth my time to begin with.

Great blog!

A French Cloud said...

thanks for stopping by and totally agree with you. I think that's why I'm enchanted with my new guy who doesn't have all the techy stuff...he knows how to talk- and listen, he writes (on pen and paper) and when he calls it's with a home phone when he's not checking out somewhere.

LENORENEVERMORE said...

you are so witty!
3D is the way to go for me...errr I hope!

Sharon Rose said...

Hi there-fab post and I must agree, 3D is the real way to go!!

lolly-jolly said...

3d of couurse!! :))) your blog is quite interesting. thank you for commenting on my, btw:)

rika said...

3D ! i always watch cartoon in 3D.its very awesome ! :D
loving your thought xD
btw, thanks for dropping by in my blog ! :D

http://iamrikaa.blogspot.com

Clare said...

I love this post. I've thought these thoughts so many times since I entered this crazy blogging community. And while I think there's something to be said for this new form of communication - which in some cases actually warrants real connections - I wish we were all doing this together, in 3D.

abigail said...

I think it feels weirdest when 2-d and 3-d collide. I recently went to visit a friend out of state and we had lunch with a friend of hers that I had never met.
She was very friendly, knew all sorts of things about me and what I'd been up to lately, to the point where it kinda creeped me out until she mentioned that she'd been reading my blog and felt like she knew me. But I didn't know her!

Cathy Voyage said...

What a great post!

Megan said...

It's so easy to let your 2D life overpower your 3D life. I'm in the process of trying to find that balance betweent the two.

CaraBella said...

3D, hands down. gut reaction, not that I mean to be copying someone -- for real, nothing beats 3D flowers! But 2D isn't bad for, say, a quick perk! I think it's the transitioning that's tough, from 2D to 3D -- maybe with all this stimulus, that's the new challenge. You know, rose-colored glasses and all on this sitch :) (And thanks for stopping by my virtual place, btw -- I was a bit disturbed re: McD's iced mocha, but I think I might solve that by cutting down on iced + sticking to hot at Starbucks :D)

Kris said...

3D! We are in such a jaded and spoiled time. The simple pleasures are so hard to find when we're surrounded by mediocre quick fixes!

Diana Elizabeth said...

absolutely 3D! i'm so tired of trying to decipher text messages and facebook wall posts. you can enjoy chocolate and flowers if they're just a picture on a computer screen....

LiLu said...

I have one friend who regularly sends handwritten thank you notes.

It is one of my favorite things about her.

Cafe Fashionista said...

You raise such an amazing thing here. To be completely honest, I'm fine looking at certain things virtually - websites and Online shopping. But when it comes to really reading - magazines, books, newspapers - I want the actual thing in my hands. I will never be able to turn my back on printed media - I adore it too much! :)

Amy said...

I agree. I think there are benefits to both mediums but one should not overpower the other. I enjoy that I can "connect" with people from across the globe with my blog but I also enjoy having lunch with friends and sending handmade Christmas cards. I do miss having a penpal though.

P.S. Thanks for the comment and visiting my blog.

Rachael said...

3D for sure. The heart is in the tangible.

Ashley Yazzie said...

Woman, I am all about real life connection. Thank you for phrasing what I'm feeling. I am sick to death of my friends texting me when I have specifically told them I hate texting. Just dial my number and CALL ME! And stop badgering me to join FACEBOOK. I tried it, and I hate it. I don't like the Wall, I hate planing a turnip in someone's virtual garden, I don't want to know.

What I do want is a phone call, a real-life visit, snail mail-which I've received recently from two dears in my life!! When some one makes a gesture that is REAL it means the world. My only exception is blogging. I just love it.

Simply Colette said...

Thanks for stopping by! Sending you a glittery RSVP +1 :)

Confession... i may be the only person under 30 who has not signed up on facebook, but Blogger has become addicting, so I may be in real trouble if I ever do.

Kristin said...

Is there such a thing as having the best of both worlds? If so. That's what I want!

Her name was Lola said...

1. I want 3D.
2. I adore your blog banner.
3. I very simply adore your blog.

Thanks for visiting me, so glad we found each other.

Cheers.

Cowgirl in the City said...

It depends... both?

Just found your blog... love it!

Kassie said...

I completely agree.
I think we find comfort in the internet, when we can't find what we want in the real world.

Kelly C. said...

oh dear. oh dear. i love the feeling of grass and clover between my toes, so i am a 3d girl at heart.
*however*
i feel like i have made some seriously amazing 3d connections BECAUSE of my 2d life.
*so*
3d + 2d = the best possible dimension... the fifth-- heart-centered, consciously blissful & delightfully present.
*
thanks for visiting my little blog, by the by.
*)

Sher said...

Oh Hon, I know you posted this on Sunday but I SOOOOO AGREE! But then I'm old school. I'm over 40 and can't truly relate to why a kid would text their parent when they are in the same house together :D

ALWAYS CHASING said...

OMFG. Did you have to outline this so clearly! no i feel all pathetic haha! Loved your 'About me' and your blog name. Will be back!

Thanks for visiting my blog & taking the time to comment, I always appreciate it! :)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

thsydney- true, I do feel like when i neglect my blog friends I feel terrible!

lovelylittlething- yes and UNLIKE BUTTON!

a french cloud- ooo he sounds dreamy :) lol

lenore- thank you and yes, i share the "i hope" sentiment

lollyjolly- and thank you for coming by mine!

clare- EXACTLY :)

abigail- ah yes that happens to me often, definitely strange

megan- balance is KEY

carabella-yes hot drinks help. lol

kris- mediocre quick fixes, well put indeed.

lilu- nicoleantoinette does that with me, she's the only friend who does and I adore it too

cafe- I AGREE TOTALLY.

amy- absolutely, I love the benefits of 2d also.

ashley- blogging is defn my excpetion, always will be :)

kristin- ME TOO.

her name is lola- well thank you dearest!

cowgirl in the city- thank you so much!!

kassie- I agree, I know i do :)

kelly c- lovely comment :) very well put

sher- hahaha that's madness!

always chasing- of course and thank you, so glad you came by! cheers miss!

Nicole Leigh said...

I really love your blog!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

nicole leigh- thank you!!! :)

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I totally understand where you're coming from...def 3D is better!

Lynda Willoughby said...

Why can't we just have it all? For the times I can't 2D will have to do! Sigh!

I love your blog and you just have a knack for writing skillfully, so enjoyable to read.

Love Lynda x

PS. thanks for dropping by my blog which allowed me to find you:O)

nataliecottrell said...

Awesome. I was seriously JUST thinking about this very conundrum today. I love the way you describe the merits of both 2-D and 3-D, because there really are tangible (well...) benefits to both. Well done, lovely!

Jill Pilgrim said...

3D- I'm a better speller when not on the Internet.

Meghan said...

3D all the way :)

E said...

I think you're talking about the next evolution of the internet. Maybe you should patent this idea? :-)

Elizabeth Marie said...

It's posted...I kinda tied it in with my thoughts on friendship right now...


Loved this so much doll.

Midtown Girl said...

I would love to make my 2D friends 3D one day...that would be awesome.

Lanessa said...

I totally agree. two weeks ago a friend of a friend got married and she opted to send the wedding invites online. yeah it cut the cost of all that paper and printing but for me it lost its meaning.

one more thing, my boyfriend reads my blog, he leaves a comment if he feels like it but really, I would gladly trade his online comments for a real one-on-one talk with voices, faces, scents and touches.

good one.

L; said...

Just wanted to say *awesome blog post!* before I read some more!
(",)

Sebastian said...

Ah, you nailed this one :)

But it's all woven into the whole 'how lonely will we choose to be?' theme that we have going on in today's society.

In theory we could be the most intimate and social beings EVER.

But... it seems we are also becoming lazier. Living out our lives in a virtual capacity.

And I think it will continue to go in that direction... sadly :)

Kellie said...

You nailed it. Completely. It gave me goosebumps. :) 3D all the way. It's great when a 2D turns into a 3D. Probably one of the best feelings ever. Too bad that doesn't happen nearly often enough!

Carol said...

I'm totally with you, bring on the 3D!

Jay Ferris said...

I thought we were doing all of this for the money?

And I'm good with 2D until holodeck technology has been perfected.

Adorably Distracted... said...

very very true!

missris said...

Amen.

¶ M said...

thanks for the comment =)

Kandace said...

I just have to say, you are fabulous. I just found your blog today though someone mentioning it on 20sb. I love it. 3D life is real life, but 2D is important too. Sometimes, I do want to make that connection and say those things that are a bit.... odd to just say out loud in real life. Seems there are several things that are easier for people to read since they ahve time to think before they respond. I could definately use a lot more 3D life.

Heather said...

Most definitely 3D... a virtual hug is nowhere near as comforting as the real thing. And those drinks people send you on Facebook? Please... send me one that I can actually enjoy :)

Vittoria said...

this is a wonderful post.

BrownAndCookies said...

thank you very much for your coment in my blog... well, in your post I can see that you have a good opinion and position :)

kiss from Portugal***********

márcia*

Awesome Sara said...

3d!!!!!! my 2d self is way to damaged for real people.

Surfergrrl said...

I think there is a time and place for both. I rely on both equally. It disturbs me to see people out of whack on both ends, like one friend who never leaves the house because he is playing WOW, and another friend whom I've lost touch with because she doesn't even have an email account.

I like getting evites/facebook invites because they save paper, time, and having to buy stamps to send an invitation back, yet I still find it tacky if someone invites me to their wedding via evite.

So, like in most things, you need to find balance.

Afsha said...

95 comments (mine being 96)... evidently SOMEBODY DOES GIVE A FUCK. you're funny :D xxx

CamilleH said...

I guess when I update my facebook status, I like coming back to the computer anticipating someone "liked" my status :)

it's cheap thrills for me XD

I'd prefer being in person though; texts and smiley faces, for me, can't emphasize the feelings behind it :)

iheartkiwi said...

ahhh 3D... sweet sweet 3D. i just got a postcard in the mail last week. it was divine.

Des said...

I'm going to have to go with 2D. Now I don't care for facebook or twitter, but I do like blogging. I think in some ways you can be more sincere and vulnerable on a blog than you ever could be in 3D. I always feel that constant push-pull tension between who I want to be and what I'm expected to be. So 2D is liberating in a way. I don't have to know exactly what I want to do, or have things figured out.

Thunderroad79 said...

Connection in any form is fine with me! Some people can't say I love you so they start a virtual pillow fight with you. I'm not into all that extra stuff but if it's the only way I'm going to be able to connect with someone, I'll take it. Your writing is superb - I will definitely be following your blog and I hope you will follow mine...I'm anxious for more connections with people of a like mind...

http://artistroad.blogspot.com
http://lostlivesontheline.blogspot.com

alissa said...

i think it depends - sometimes i want one or the other. like buttons in real life would be handy though

Anonymous said...

It was certainly interesting for me to read the post. Thank you for it. I like such themes and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.

Anonymous said...

Rather cool site you've got here. Thank you for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to them. BTW, try to add some photos :).

 
ss_blog_claim=1c43e45eb4927c96edea5f154138fe95