Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I'm commitment CHALLENGED.


Commitment is scary.

Even committing to calling commitment scary, scares me. Is it scary? Or should I commit to another equally intense and daunting adjective? hm.

I just saw Julie & Julia (if you haven't seen it, you should AND, I'd like to know your thoughts) as a blogger, I was obviously inspired. Inspired by the fact that this whole blog world really DOES have the power to change your life, in ways beyond your imagination and also inspired by the COMMITMENT. Blogging is like signing a lease, an unofficial agreement- that you will work through and share your life- you will commit to a community and to your MIND and that you will give it a platform to release it's mind-y thoughts on. And in turn, you'll lessen your crazy by becoming your own personal therapist through each blog post and you will possibly, just maybe, put yourself in the position to have something fucking GREAT happen to you. I.E. Julie Powell. She committed. She committed to her beef bourguignon and her blogspot and BAM she's got a damn movie.

When we DECIDE TO COMMIT we aren't allowed to have the option of quiting. Committing is when you're tested by "free will" but you push through anyway- mind over matter. Which is precisely why it stresses me out to the point of breaking into hives. Oh yes, I'm suddenly itching just thinking about it. Even my earlobes itch.

Commitment and I are like Victoria Beckham and smiling. They just don't fit.

I use pencils with sufficient erasers and words like, "maybe", or "I'm pretty sure I can make it...." simply because I want to KNOW that I have the option of changing my mind. That I have the option of canceling if I decide that I want to give myself an at-home pedicure and eat pickles instead.

I have always been a strong believer in "IF IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY, DON'T DO IT." which sometimes, is just a fucking cop out. Because sometimes, if you don't work through it, when whatever it is seems excruciating and impossible- you'll never know that you COULD, even at the worst moments, suck it up, put on your big girl panties and make fucking lemon merigue pie out of rotten lemons.

If you quit before you try hard enough you'll never get a movie. Or a book. Or a promotion. Or a well deserved tap on the back. Or a cheesy "congrats" card from your Aunt Millie.
....and mostly, you'll never get the glory of telling yourself that you stuck it out. You followed through all the way until the goal was met, and you got there wearing pumps. Or- at least I would.....and they'd be metallic.

To me this whole movie was really an example of COMMITTING TO WHAT YOU LOVE.
Because even when you love something, it isn't going to be easy......
You know what's easy? Quitting. Quitting is easy because it comes with no rewards, no bonus, no fucking cherry on top, just a brief sigh of relief until the next thing, that will ALSO be too tough at some point.

Commitment is scary because it's a promise you make to yourself to continue. And there's no better reward than that we receive from the fruits of our own fortitude.



ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITTING???










95 comments:

Deva84 said...

I'm not afraid of commitment. Not at all. It's a challenge. When you really want something you need to lose yourself in it. Your passion takes control of your life. And that's amazing! I think when we're really into sth we don't see even the line and the moment when we committed ourselves to sth. Then we're talking about real passion or love.

Commitment can be very nice and very pleasant specially when we are in love with someone or something.

Bisous. Deva.

p.s. I need to see this movie!

daisychain said...

I am very commitment challeneged, not afraid as such, just...unsure how!

Dustjacket Attic said...

Totally love this post, so true!

I've heard so many good things about this movie, obviously a must see.
xxx

CuppyCakes said...

I'm a tiny bit afraid of commitment. Not to the point of back-peddling, but where I need a few more nudges to go forward with it.

lov said...

i am, and i'm not...
(can you tell how i feel about this situation, i can't even make a commitment to that answer)

when the decision only effects me....i have no problem making a commitment,
but when the decision effects others (aka 99 out of 100 decisions) i have to talk it out, think it out, pray it out, and still struggle to 100% give it all! why is that?

J.J. in L.A. said...

Commitment (marriage) scares the crap out of me! I'm like you, if I'm not happy, why stay? My parents had a horrible (28 year) marriage and the after-effects of divorce (resentment) aren't pretty either.

I like the 'out' that being single (aka unmarried) gives me, even though I've been with my man for over 5 years.

Just the thought of being able to leave if I'm not happy, makes me want to stay, because I am happy (most of the time). lol!

I was born blonde so that might not have made a lot of sense. ; )

Thanks for stopping by!

Michelle said...

Amazing. It's slightly insane how quickly I've fallen in love with your blog, xo.

Eve said...

Hi! Thanks for dropping by my blog. Nice to meet you!

I was afraid of commitment, I've always been. I like leaving my doors open, so to speak. When I met my husband I was still afraid of it, when my husband suggested we get married after 4 months of knowing each other I laughed and probably the only reason I got through it was because it happened so quickly and I kept telling myself "He'll be a great first husband"! I know horrible. But now that I'm in the throws of commitment and with a baby boy to boot, I've discovered I'm actually very good at this "commitment" malarkey!

And it's very rewarding indeed :)

Also this is a movie I have been looking forward to for ages.

DesBisoux said...

Great post!i'm not afraid of commitment but until recently i think i was chosing all the wrong ones! so it's also come down to chosing the right battles.xxx

My Kind of Strange said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I read your profile blurb and it's so well written - I just love it! Sounds like the two of us get on famously!

Next, on to this post...I really really like the phrase in this one "...lessen your crazy..." ha! That's great.

Wonderful post!

Brown Girl said...

Apparently I'm not afraid of commitment because I just got engaged but you make some good and funny points!

Maggi said...

Great post, very inspiring to keep at this full time job called blogging.

Heavenly Housewife said...

Great post. I've been blogging for about 6 months, and i feel like in return, I've gotten so much out of it. I wouldnt want to stop. That being said, we all have our moments. Sometimes you might want to give up on something. Its good to take a step back, take a little break, that helps me.
I dont think im afraid of commitment.

brooke said...

what the incredible!! seriously i love this post!! everything about it rings SO friggen true for me!!! i may just have to read it again and shout out a "heck yes lady!" while doing so....

Taylor said...

I'm not afraid of commitment, but I'm not very good at it either. I worry that I'm committing myself to the wrong person, and that I'll realize it too late.

I'm definitely going to check out that movie now - I'll let you know what I think!

Michelle said...

nope. Opposite here, I am so into commitment I made reckless, impulsive decisions to commit then end up miserable as I always stick it out because I will never quit, just so I can say I never quit (even when whatever I'm "accomplishing" is neither good for me, or even productive in some cases).

Heather said...

I've been wanting to see that movie - I'll have to check it out for sure now, since you said it was so good.

Commitment, huh? I don't know... I use words like "maybe" a lot too. And I never thought of blogging as a commitment, but now you've got me a little scared. Ha...

Nelle said...

What an excellent post! I'm ridiculously afraid of commitment, and I'm not even sure when it happened. But you're right, if you don't see it through, how will you feel the accomplished feeling in the end!?

I will for sure being seeing this movie!

tmamone said...

Well, I can be a little bit commitment-phobic. After slipping an engagement ring on my girl's finger over two years ago, I'm finally getting my ass motivated to getting ready to settle down and start a family.

I liked "Julie and Julia." I thought both Meryl Streep and Amy Adams were great as usual. However, I felt that Powell was a bit narcissistic and whiny. But it did get me to thinking about blogging. Not the fame and fortune aspect of it, but getting so caught up with popularity and fame that it takes a toll on your relationships. That's what happened to me last month, so I had to delete my blog of two years and start a brand new one--a blog more concerned with the quality of writing than the quantity of readers.

BTW, you know how some people say how we're totally influenced by the media? I didn't believe it at first, but after seeing "Julie and Julia" I now want to learn how to cook.

cassi rash said...

I'm not afraid of commitment, but I understand what you mean. My husband and his friends used to say, "We don't make plans in case something better comes up."

Elle Bee... said...

I love this: Because sometimes, if you don't work through it, when whatever it is seems excruciating and impossible- you'll never know that you COULD, even at the worst moments, suck it up, put on your big girl panties and make fucking lemon merigue pie out of rotten lemons.

I both am, and am not, afraid of commitment. Like lov, I have no problems committing to things that only affect me, but when it affects other people and there's the chance that I'll let those people down... it's terrifying.

Nerdy Girl said...

Love this post!

If it's something I love, I won't stop until I get it. I feel like quitting a lot because like you said, it is WAY easier. But I just keep telling myself that I don't want to be the type to always take the easy road. I want to earn my way because if I really want something, I have to be willing to suffer thru some hard/uncomfortable times.

Jules said...

I hate committing to doing things. But I don't mind committing to people (Hubby, friends). But I like to be able to back out of things at the last minute if I don't feel like going.

JennyMac said...

I cant wait to see this movie. I have heard SO much about it.

And no, I am not afraid of commitment. Although, I did appreciate quite a sense of freedom pre wedding and baby. LOL.

Kyla Roma said...

I love this post, I saw Julie and Julia just the other day and I adored it...

...and it made me want to commit to some incredibly accessible, nichey project right before everyone was blogging too. DAMN JULIE POWELL!! lol

My fear of commitment is that I'm comitting to the wrong thing. I've had a series of really strange jobs and while what I want most is to find somewhere I can stay for 5+ years, I keep committing to unstable situations where I end up having to leave. Great food for thought here, thank you!

Holly Golightly said...

Yes, yes, yes. It's awful. I just saw Julie & Julia and it caused the same reaction with me as it did for you. I always start numerous projects, and never finish any of them. I don't want to say it's because I'm afraid of failure - I think it's more that I enjoy so many things, but I'm not sure what I'm truly passionate about. I always think I know... for about 3 weeks... and then realize it's not making me excited as it did in the beginning.

Maybe I'm not commitment challenged.. maybe I'm motivation challenged.

Sara said...

"Commitment and I are like Victoria Beckham and smiling. They just don't fit."
Thank you. I was Posh Spice for Halloween one year, and I refused to smile in any pictures. Nobody understood why.

I seem to only put myself in situations where commitment does not appear to be an option.

Rachael said...

Well said! I'm trying to overcome my commitment issues as well and I love this because I find it to be more and more true every day:

"I have always been a strong believer in "IF IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY, DON'T DO IT." which sometimes, is just a fucking cop out."

Can't wait to see the movie!

Lindsay said...

I have a fear of commitment, not so much in relationships but in my working life. This post was so inspiring, I think it's the push I needed. Thank you!

The Asshole said...

I WAS afraid of commitment. Now I realize I'm a pussy and need to ball up! Danke.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

brown girl- the funny thing is, i'm not afraid of commitment in LOVE at all, i can't wait until im engaged!

lov- absolutely and thats probabyl very wise.

jj- its interesting cause im actually less afriad of commiting to marriage than i am to buying a new phone, or something along those lines. lol

michelle- THANK YOU ;)

eve- thanks so much for coming by mine!!

my kind of strange- and thank you, i really enjoyed reading yours as well!

brooke- thank you! I'm glad i could strike a chord

michelle- ah yes, i guess there's the other side too....i didnt really think about the reckless part....hm...

tmamone- wanting to learn how to cook definitly isnt a bad thing for your lady, or your tummy! lol and yes, i completely agree with your take on the characters, that being said i still thought the movie was brilliant. It was a good reminder to not get too caight up and to write from a REAL place.

jules- EXACTLY

kyla- ah yes, sounds very much like me indeed.

holly- hahah, maybe that's my probelm too. hm/? but i think when you love something you can kick the motivation into gear, if not maybe reevaluting what it is you're doing...hm...

sara- thats the best costume ever.

the asshole- damn straight!

Children of the 90s said...

I really want to see Julie and Julia. Everyone keeps telling me that it's really inspiring to bloggers because she feels a commitment to her readers even though her real life friends don't always get it. I must see this!

Erin said...

This is a good post.

I'm not afraid of commitment, but I don't really know how to do it in any venue other than relationships. I'm very commited in those, but I have a hard time commiting to much else.

lovelila said...

I'm not afraid of commitment, but I definitely fall into the "If it doesn't make you happy, don't do it" club. After reading this post, I REALLY want to go see this movie now! This was an awesome post :)

Ace said...

Afraid? No. It fills me with a child like dread is a more appropriate way of describing the feeling.

Jill Pilgrim said...

Loved this post! I'm not really afraid of commitment, but I think it took me a long time (and, you know, therapy) to get there.

Is This Real Life? said...

I love your blog, such inspirational posts!

Ela said...

Oh I can't wait to see that movie!
I'm all for commitment. It's the only real way I manage to get things done. And it's a major pet peeve of mine when someone commits to doing something or being somewhere then backs out at the last minute or doesn't show or get it done. I'd rather have someone waiver and say no straight up than fake it and be gung-ho and "yeah, yeah, I'm there." or "yeah, yeah, I'll do it. I promise..."

the same amanda said...

this post is just what i needed! i always second guess myself thinking that i can't do something so i never push myself. it's really frustrating at times.

oh yeah. i really like the movie, it has kind of inspired me to want to cook or do something like she did.

brookem said...

oh yah, im scared of it sometimes too.
actually working through the fear and just making myself shut the fuck up about the whining and the nervousness, has never once dissapointed me in the end.

Azra said...

Hi Chelsea!

I guess I used to be afraid of commitment...but not anymore. I guess that came with age.
Great blog :)

Ali said...

Committing is scary shit.

But the end result definitely makes it worth it.

Most of the time, anyway.

Gabbi said...

Committing is hard :) But I am persistent as hell. Is being committed and persistently obsessed the same thing?

I must see 'Julie and Julia'!

Gina said...

Thanks for writing this. Recently I've been toying with the idea of quitting dancing, which is something I love, but don't feel like I can fully commit to right now. After reading your post, I realize I have to re-evaluate my priorities a bit. =)

Ashley said...

I'm afraid of committing to people. And I'm afraid of committing myself fully to projects, because I think I prefer the comfort of saying/thinking I didn't put my all into it when I fail. I'm scared of putting everything into something and ending up devastated.

One Sassy Girl said...

I wasn't afraid but I am now! Committing means quitting isn't an option... never thought about it like that though I didn't see it as an option either. Saying it that way just freaks me out. I like disclaimers too, but in my biz quitting means things die. Bad bad bad. So I commit to hard stuff all the time. Granted, I SUCK at emotional commitment so your take on it is forcing me to put a thinking cap on.

The Peach Tart said...

I'm committed about most things except giving up chocolate.

Elizabeth Marie said...

I'm the worst at commitment...I'm on the never ending search for something better, more fulfilling, etc...

And I've heard that I need to see that movie as a blogger.

I'm Just Sayin' - Kerri said...

I wouldn't say I am afraid of commitment, but you just made me want to see that movie and be a better blogger. I tend to write to entertain others, but I want to inspire myself.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

children of the 90s- that's exactly it!

Erin-like you i'm commited in relationships too, for sure. When I'm in, I'm in.

lovelila- go see it!!

ace- oh yes, that feeling. I KNOW IT.

jil- oh YES, THERAPY. I should try that out.

is this real life?-thank you :)

ela- right! maybe I just need to be more forward and not say yes, when I mean NO. hm. ha, what a concept eh?

the same amanda- i cooked last night because of it!

brookem- yes, i need to tell myself to shut the fuck up OFTEN.

azra- thank you for coming by!!

ali-true...most of the time.

gabbi- hm, I don't know but I think i'm the same way.....

gina- don't stop dancing!IF YOU LOVE IT, DONT STOP.

Ashley- exactly.

one sassy girl- sorry to scare you....lol :)

peach tart- I WILL NEVER, EVER. GIVE UP CHOCOLATE.

Elizabeth- you do!!

i'm just saying- i think everyone can get that way once they know people are reading, but you just have to remind yourself to say what you MEAN.

muchlove said...

I think I'm commitment challenged. It's probably (one of) the reason why I haven't been able to get a permanent job in ages.

I really want to see that movie now!

Katelin said...

i don't think i'm afraid of committing but i do think i'm a bit afraid of trying or getting creative every once and a while. and man i really want to see julie and julia. so much inspiration there.

Annie said...

definitely not afraid of commitment, at least when it comes to relationships!
although i used to be...horrible relationships....drama, drama, drama. now i'm committed to the love of my life :) there are so many other aspects of my life i'm committed too....my fiance, my family, work.....i'm trying to stick committed to staying positive, it's not easy for me. i let little things get me down, pointless little things that are so small it's embarrassing at times. ugh, work in progress tho!

i want to see julie and julia! maybe this weekend!!

p.s. nice to meet you lovely lady!

Cait said...

I'm not afraid of commitment, per se, just really bad at sticking with things. I have an all-or-nothing mentality, so I'll commit to something but then quit because I took a misstep on the way there.

Oh, but I totally feel you on not wanting to commit to going out somewhere. I would much rather say "maybe," so that if I decide to go, it's a bit of a pleasant surprise and if I don't, nobody was expecting me.

I love the way you write. This blog is one of my favorites.

Moorea Seal said...

Oh lordy, I couldn't resonate with this post more. amazing.

and YES i would LOVE to do any posters or t shirt designs for you!

Kait said...

I am that girl using the "maybe" or "hopefully I can come" because I too do not want to be tied down to engagements. However if I am part of a charity, group aerobics class, etc. I am totally committed. Only certain kinds of commitments scare me into running for the highest mountaintop.

I saw Julie & Julia and I LOVED it as well. I loved not only the brilliant potrayal of Julia Child by M. Streep but the story of Julie Powell. An everyday girl wearing slip on Vans in Queens. Great movie, I came away feeling inspired and tingly : )

Becca Jane said...

I think that the commitment to a blog and a project like Julie is inspirational. I know with mine I'm not as consistent as I should be at times.

Kristin said...

Committing to the hubs was the easiest thing I ever did. That has definitely made it easier for me to commit to other areas of my life!

Dash said...

I am totally committed to the people/activities I am truly passionate about. Whats love with without sacrifices and an occasional compromise? :)

Jessica Cangiano said...

Commitment almost never scares me off, but I try to be wise decisions (well, we all make mistakes - sometimes of catastrophic proportions, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish) regarding what I'm going to commit to, because I'm very much a "nester" who can become almost too attached to what I pour my heart into. Thus I end up feeling guilty (and/or some other negative emotion) if the time comes for me to move on from said commitment.


Thank you very much for your comment, I hope you have a stellar Friday!
♥ Jessica

kokostiletto said...

Chelsea thanks so much for this post .... I am terrified of commitment ... but only of commiting to things I dont like. Do you think we should commit to things we don't like .... just to see if we will learn to like it?

Sharon Rose said...

Hi there-a fabulous post my dear, this is something I can really relate to-thanks for sharing!!

J B J said...

AMEN SISTA!!!

Cocaine Princess said...

Sorry for not getting back asap. I just wanted to say thank you for stopping by and visiting my blog and taking the time to leave a comment.

P.S. Awesome post, lots to think about.

Brett Alexandra said...

Seriously, your posts always amaze me. They always make me think. I am a commitment phobe and I hate it! I saw that movie on monday and enjoyed the message it brought.

Brett Alexandra said...

Oh, and I am afraid of almost everything. It's horrible.

Marie-Louise said...

i really loved your post on the beauty of sex and how it is so poetic. read what you said start to finish!

The Professional Bridesmaid said...

Totally. I have trouble booking plane tix!

The Socialite said...

Great post! You're a great writer! ;)

Only thing I'm 200% committed to is my fiance! For some reason I'm so indecisive about anything and everything sometimes! Can't commit to products or superficial things, but just the man I've loved for almost 6 yrs! Guess that works out well. Hard work totally worth it.

Megan said...

"Commitment is scary because it's a promise you make to yourself to continue. And there's no better reward than that we receive from the fruits of our own fortitude."

That last line was fucking epic and I agree. I've always found it's been easy to commit to other things in my life i.e. boyfriends, relationships, other people's happiness, etc. But the real challenge, especially this year has been to commit to myself. My own decisions, my own goals, my own happiness. Cheers to us!!!!

•¦Amy¦• said...

loved the post.

commitment is a strange middle for me. half of me is wanting so badly, wanting to commit to something and to show how capable i am of making it work! the other half is wondering whether or not i have it in me...whether or not i would let someone down...it's an interesting little inward battle with myself, commiting to something.

noelle said...

On the topic of the movie - I just saw it last night. I do agree, how blogging about something you love can make commitment to something seem easier. I just wish I had her idea first! If I could cook and make a living blogging about it, I would drop my corp job in a second.

I thought the movie was superb, and Meryl Streep is the most talented actress of her time, no?

Delectable Swank said...

I love what you wrote, it's so true. I never thought I was afraid of commitment but now I realize I have a hard time sticking with things and seeing them through. Hopefully I'll be able to change this and actually finish what I start!

kirstyb said...

it is indeed scary! but thats life xoxox

No More Sugar Daddies said...

Wow this is very powerful. I'm not so much scared of committing. I'm scared of failure. I'm embarking on a medical program and I'm scared of failing. I have to quit my job for this program and that's scary. But you right in everything that you wrote. Gotta get over this fear.

Lilian Moreira εϊз said...

I love your blog, you are such a wonderful writer. :)

indigotangerine said...

i want to see julie and julia! I never finish things, my life is made out of loose threads. It's not a fear of commitment, it's laziness. I'm working on it though
-indigo

Je said...

1) I saw Julie & Julia last night. Loved it - although it was a bit slow at times. It just makes me want to yell out, "BON APPETIT!" all the time. Also, were you bothered by the fact at the end that the reporter called and told her Julia hated her? And then they never cleared that up or explained why? Made Julia seem like kinda a biatch.

2) Every one on this G.D. planet is scared of commitment. But I think the difference is those who face their fears and those who don't. I tend to try to face them on a regular basis.

CamilleH. said...

first of all I would just like to say, I love this blog. :)

a perfect ending to a not-so-perfect day, is reading your blog! seriously, some sense of humor is what really gets me in a better mood! ;D

speaking of commitment, I lack the drive to commit. just an example; I can't commit to this online class I'm taking. excuse me for having the attention span of a squirrel, but I'd just rather go out and have some fun with the friends!!

and now I'm stuck on this computer at an ungodly hour, MAKING UP FOR MY PROCRASTINATION!
:(

I hate being challenged if I'm not in the mood. I only wish the online course instructor could understand this!

ahhhh well.

I guess it serves me right.... thanks for letting me rant, chelsea, you're amazing! ;D

Marian said...

Loving that post title, i think if the commitment is meant to be it is easier to stick to.
I need to watch this movie
XX
Marian.

floreta said...

YES i am definitely a committment-phobe! how do people like us function in relationships?? no, really.. i'm curious because i know you are in one. maybe you could address that sometime..

i didn't really know what this movie was about but i've been vaguely curious and now you have me interested enough to want to see it! i saw the trailer yesterday and realized it was about a girl who blogged! so, of course i thought that was awesome.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

camilleH- Wow thanks for the awesome comment and you my dear are awesome

skinnylove said...

I like this post! I saw the movie and i just started a blog today. (check it out if you want, suggestions are welcome!) Ive been struggling with commitment lately. its as if i never knew that i cant commit to anything! and all of the sudden i realized... im afraid. youre not alone!

I really wanna to commit to my blog. like julie. =)

good day, lady.

Grace said...

I agree with this whole post. Saw the movie. Felt proud to be a part of that world. Decided to recommit myself to the blog I started.

Thanks for sharing this!

Love Grace.

Graygrrrl said...

I never thought I had a commitment problem until I realized the only thing I'm on time for is a movie. I loved Julie & Julia by the way, although I could have done with more Julia and less Julie. There was one thing that stuck out to me as someone new to blogging myself. It was the excitement Julie Powell felt when she realized she had readers other than her Mom. I did a little dance myself when that first happened!

J-Diggety said...

Wow, this post hit me hard... I'm getting all choked up... In answer to your question, hell no. At least not anymore. I started this crazy dance adventure and dag-nabbit, I'm going to finish it! And you are 1000% right... even things you love are going to be hard and they'll even make you consider quitting.

I wish my ex would read this and it would smack him up side the head (can you guess who it was who quit?? :P).

Don't quit girl, you rock this shit...

lightning in a bottle said...

okay, now you make me want to see this movie.

American in Norway said...

OOo.. I am so loving your blog.
I can not wait until this movie gets to Norway... (I'll get back to you in a about 6 months...lol)

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