Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Death. Pastries and Swine Flu.

"How embarrassing- if the plane were to go down they would find that my last meal was DRIED MANGO and Gardettos."

...these are the kinds of thoughts I have. While scanning the isles at La Gaurdia airport, I couldn't find a decent "last meal." I have this thing with flying- if any songs mentioning PLANE come on my ipod before boarding, I'll consider not getting on the flight,or getting drunk enough to "not feel it when we combust"- So when, "Fiery Crash" by Andrew Bird came on, I talked myself down out of impending doom by convincing myself I wouldn't die because, well, I need to reproduce. My children will be brilliant Mozart freaks, with good looks and I can't die without having some. Period.

My thing with flying is, I'm almost always certain it could be "my last trip", because I'm a dramatic, semi-morbid, freak..... so, when I saw that the only feasible options for a meal were dried mango's and Gardettos- I knew I wouldn't die. Simply, no one dies on a half-full stomach of packaged goods. If your last meal had been say, a slice of John's pizza and a cupcake- you could be going down. Or something more fancy, i.e. a meal at Le Cirque (Tom Colicchio, aren't you worried about immanent death? Your daily meal plan is a "last meal" dream.)

The trip to NYC was amazing. Exactly what I needed- I also brought back a rounder face and a wicked cold -or swine flu, since I keep joking about it I'll probably be the sucker who dies from it, but that's just my neurosis talking.

So, let me sum up the awesomeness:
Ate more pizza than my body weight. Visited MOMA. Was equally inspired and confused by some of the art in the Chelsea Galleries. Drank with Nicole is Better. Went a comedy show at Upright Citizens Brigade. Saw HAIR on Broadway (and ended up dancing on stage at the end- no I was not on drugs.) Cried at Ground Zero. Drank fancy champagne cocktails in SoHo. Saw Gavin Degraw sing an impromptu show at National Underground. Went to CMJ; lost count of the incredible bands that played. Ended up on set watching the filming of a major film (thanks to a friend) with Emily Blunt and Matt Damon. Ate at 'ino. Found the best black and white cookies at William Greenbergs. Drank vino in Little Italy. Went to seminars for CMJ at NYU. Made new friends! Marveled at Central Park in the fall, my favorite.....and, got a new job! (no, I'm not moving to NYC again..not yet anyway)WEEEEE!!!

....and that's just a taste of my 6 day trip. I need a vacation from the vacation.

My Love also came with me, he was a New York virgin- watching him walk with his head up at the sky was part of the fun. As I've mentioned we've been going through "a rough patch" a really rough patch, in fact, the night before we left for NYC I wasn't sure if he was going to come at all. We screamed. Cried. Spoke at each other but not necessarily to each other. The trip was a band-aid, that allowed us to speak honestly- without out fingers hovered over the defense button anytime we felt attacked. I admitted fears that I didn't even realize I had, until I felt safe enough to tell them. And now that we're home, band-aid off, we'll see if the band-aid actual did any healing. It was a good thing. A really good thing. I have to reverse some of my bad habits, let go of the reins a bit, and trust- no matter what the outcome.

....there's an incredible amount of OPTIONS and things, exciting and scary on my horizon- New York reminded me that there's so much beyond our personal dramas. There's choices. Down to the simplest things; subway or cab, big fish or little fish, hustle or observe- Lobster Tail or Cannoli (naturally, I end on a pastry note.)

So, I'm back- five pounds bigger, with a head cold (or swine flu), some clarity and a million and one exciting opportunities to choose from. Which leaves me with this question......

If today were your last day- what would be your "Last Meal???"


Doniree said...

Um, clearly the plane was fine because we haven't met *in person* yet.

And I totally think of things like that when I fly.

My last meal? I don't even know but there would be pasta and cheese for sure. And TIRAMISU for dessert. Absolutely.

So, basically my last meal will be in ITALY so I'm good until I get there.

Now I'm afraid to go there. Or leave, once I do.

Jay Ferris said...

Your sickness has found me on the left coast as well, much like your morbid airplane thoughts and sudden, rapid weight gain.

hungryandfrozen said...

I'm actually more jealous that you saw Hair than the fact that you got to hang out on a movie set.

Last meal? Something buttery.

Matt said...

Chubby's? or maybe Santiagos?

what can I say? I am a local kind of guy.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Doniree- you have a really fantastic point. and yes- italy is a good place to have a last meal. lol.

hay- UGH, IT'S THE WORST. Feel better my friend.

Laura- BUTTER....YES. and hair, it was eh.....i've seen a million musicials, I wasn't wildly impressed :(

matt- CHUBBYS. love.

Anonymous said...

So glad you had a great trip! Hopefully some NY love has helped the situation with the boy. (And congrats on your new job!!)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

jamie- thank you dear!! xo

nicole antoinette said...

Boo. We did NOT hang out enough. And I need to hear about this new job, stat. And I'd eat penne vodka and all the cheese in the galaxy.

Jaime @ laviejaime said...

Wow sounds like quite a fun trip! Sorry you came back w/ "swine". Feel better

My last meal would be something chocolatey and delish, I think.

Jaime @ laviejaime said...

Also sooo jealz you saw a film filming and Gavin!

Erin said...

I hope you feel better.

My last meal would be salmon and mashed potatoes with some kind of green veggie.

Sarah said...

my last meal would be homemade pierogi and my grandma's carrot bars.

this entry made me very excited. the bf and i are thinking of going to nyc in the spring and i've never been. i keep wondering if i'll have the money to go, but i think i'll just say fuck it and put everything on my credit card. that's what it's for right?

JKreids said...

I asked my bf this exact question last night.
Him: a steak with mashed potatoes and an orange Fanta
me: a plate of spaghetti the size of my bed with a big glass of milk

Spaghetti is the one food I can't get enough of but never get to enjoy because I'm afraid of carb overload.

Tried to make it with tofu "noodles" last week so I could gorge and that was a mistake. Tofu pasta tastes like silly putty.

Needless to say, I don't want to go down in a plane with fake food in my stomach. No more tofu. Add lots more spaghetti.

Lindsey Marie said...

good luck with that whole band-aid thing!

my last meal would be the box of candy bottle caps i just ate. like a huge box. i'm pretty disappointed in this.

Liz said...

I'm sorry you and the Love are going through a rough patch. Isn't it {not so} funny how our relationship woes overshadow all our other problems. It's scary I know, hang in there though!!

And I'm glad your trip to NYC was a success. I didn't have nearly enough time when I went to really see everything so, I'm jealous.

My last meal would probably be cupcakes and funyons w/ a vanilla coke. Srsly.

ps; Have you seen this?

MJ said...

If I knew I was going to die, my last meal would have to be something kickass like the testicles of a bear or shark steak, just so everyone would think I was awesome when it came to the autopsy. Hope everything's alright with the boy, and congratulations on the job thing!


Lindsey said...

Funny you mention John's Pizza (of Bleecker St., right?)...that would be my last meal! Half pepperoni and mushrooms, half garlic! My parents have been going there forever and taking me there forever, definitely my go-to pizza place.

Vanessa said...

Congrats on the job and what sounds like a very successful holiday!

My last meal? Cheesecake of some sort (preferably pumpkin), and risotto.

Phoenix said...

A huge YAY for awesome trips and jobs happening in your life...a small boo that you guys are going through a rough patch, but it seems like you guys are gonna make it through if you just keep talking to each other. Very cool.

Last meal: Fresh Maine lobster with butter and lemon sauce, some sort of cheesy risotto, huge chocolate cake for dessert and a Shirley Temple to wash it all down.


Chelsea Talks Smack said...

nicole- cheese, yes. AND I KNOW :( boo hiss. i'm sorry it was madness, i know you understand. Calling you soon. xo.

jaime- oh yesss gavinnn :)

erin- veggies?! IMPRESSIVE. I of course would crave lard for my last meal.

sarah- honestly, you CAN do nyc inexpensively. iT IS possible, though its hard. thats what all the pizz and hot dogs stands are for :) go!

jkrieds- OMG. I hear that statement. I always want to gorge myself on pasta and I dont. fml. And yum fanta.

lindsay- thank you :) candy bottle caps!? lol.

liz- i HAVENT SEEN THAT LINK, I'LL CHECK IT OUT! and that sonds like a kick ass last meal. no really. it does.

mj- I LIKE where your head is at. That would make you a serious BAMF.


vanessa- thank you! and pumpkin cheesecake is incredible....have yet to have any this fall, i should put in a request (since i'm sick and all) for someone to bring me some!

phoenix- thank you lady :) i appreciate it xo.

Anonymous said...

台灣處亞熱帶最適於它的繁殖,危害最嚴重的有家白蟻及大和白蟻。在每年四月至九月間,一大群白蟻集體飛出巢穴追逐(颱風或大雨來臨之前)雌雄配對後,迅速地脫落翅膀, ... 在台灣,住的房子雖多為鋼筋水泥,但早期居住的木造房子,就常受到白蟻的侵蝕。

Selma @ Crazy Little World Of Mine said...

Ok, I'm jealous...you saw Gavin. And well, I think the flu is going around (I got it, too) but it's not necessarily the piggy flu (or maybe it is?!) ;) And well, my last meal would be a combination of Italian, Greek, Japanese, Swiss, Turkish, Thai and Mexican...too many courses but hey it's the last one, who cares?!

Unknown said...

Oh man, isn't NY nuts?! Last time I was there, had an impomptu DJ Justin Timberlake at one of the clubs. It was sweeeet!

Ummm, though planes do not scare me AT ALL, I did think there was a possibility I might of had my last meal when the airline told us to fly a plane without passengers and land on a runway in Santa Barbara so short, our plane has never been test landed there, and if it went off the runway, it doesn't go into a field, it would go into a MOUNTAIN! I said, find yourself another girl!!!

But, if I did choose my last meal, it would be stuffing and chocolate chip cookies!!

Manju said...

chocolate mud cake, and potato chips, lots of potato chips.

JUST ME said...

What is the NEW JOB????

laurwilk said...

I danced onstage after Hair as well. And sat next to Whoopi Goldberg - which was a bit distracting.

The last meal? Something including Sour Patch Kids. I effing love those little guys. And maybe gnocchi with a zesty arrabiatta sauce.

But my favorite part of this post? That you call him 'Love' even though you're going through a rough patch. I'm going through one too, with my love. And people don't understand completely how he can be my 'love' when we're still on the brink of...well, possibly not being together. So it's good to know I'm not the only one who is there.

And dude, I effing miss NYC. So glad you had fun - but how can you not? As long as you don't have to grocery shop, NYC is perfect!

Jen said...

I'm glad you had such a great trip and things are on the up with the boyfriend.

I was in Long Island over the weekend, and I wish I could have stayed a few more days to take in fall in the City.

My last meal (although your airport thoughts are morbid!) would be prime rib with au jus, garlic roasted potatoes, green beans with olive oil, salt and pepper. For dessert, cannoli! And don't forget the wine.

Hope you feel better soon!

~ Jen

brad said...

Love UCB.

Last meal would be a bacon cheeseburger with a fried egg on top.

Unknown said...

Hope you are feeling better!

Last meal?

A full on face dive here:



Unknown said...


Heather said...

Oh, but I love dried mangos! Have dined on them many nights.

New york is so inspiring. I need to go soon.

Congrats on the new job!


Natalie said...

Love this post. Sounds like an incredible NYC trip, and you definitely hit all the high points of the city. Nicely done!

Last meal: the most decadent mac 'n cheese available, giant chocolate chip brownie, and a glass of bubbly. Mmmmmmm.

Anonymous said...

UGH, I have the EXACT FEAR. Except I don't really worry so much about food, just how there's so much I haven't done yet and I haven't even been open with my friends and I'd tell my family SO MUCH about myself and etc. etc. etc.

Sounds like a freaking awesome trip though!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a packed 6 days! I have the same plane fears, except not about my last meal but more like what people would think going through my things... strange, I know!

Anonymous said...

It sounds like a great time in NYC! :) I just went for the first time this summer and it was AMAZING!

If I had to choose my last meal, it would be Chinese food and mint chocolate chip icecream! :) mmmm

Kristen said...

Hmmm something with lots of bread and cheese!!

Unknown said...

gosh i love your honesty. i'm spending christmas in new york and this just got me even more excited. lovely writing as always!!

Kristin Quinn said...

Swine flu? Really?!! Girl feel better fast. Your trip sounded like it was amazing. You may have done more fun things in the city in 6 days than I have done in a year living there!!

Bridget said...

As someone who has suffered through the plague, I hope you feel better soon!

My last meal would include - homemade pasta, steak tartar from Campagne in Seattle, lamb, and wine. Lots of wine. And champagne. Because who would be worried about the hangover the next day when it's your last meal?

Herding Cats said...

Ok....so, choices. Either:

- Cheese enchiladas, fresh guacamole, and a strong margarita


- crab legs with garlic butter sauce, garlic fries, and a red velvet cupcake


Jessi said...

Ooh, ooh, what's the new job???

I've been jonesin for some NYC lately - so glad you got to go!!

My last meal... Moroccan. Chicken tagine with harissa sauce, couscous with currants and almonds, baklava for dessert and one slammin' cosmopolitan to wash it down!

Misstarii said...

I'd probably take a mixture of things....alot of chocolate here and pizza..thats all for now..
welcome back

Anonymous said...


Mandy said...

i'd hope for a huge plate of nachos loaded with jalapenos (go down like a BADASS) and something ridiculously, murderously sweet, like a huge piece of chocolate cake or a canoli the size of my arm.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm new to your blog! My last meal would be (you may want to sit, this could be awhile)
Filet Mignon with crumbled bleu cheese on it, 2 FULL bottles of A1 (you know, just in case), shrimp/lobster dip from longhorn, cinnabon (fresh), Baked potato with extra sour cream & butter, a chipotle burrito and my dads pasta. And as much wine as I can consume. :-) I gave you the short version since I'm new here :-)

Wine and Words said...

PIZZA - Combination. The WHOLE thing. Hands down...no contest...bring it!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

selma- yes gavin- I used to do radio promotion for his brother....

that one girl- o! stuffing would definitly be in my final meal too!

manju- chocolate mud cake? delish.

just me- i'll email you :)

laurwilk- WHOOPIE! If i had sat next to her i would have asked for a guest seat at the view :)

nifer- thank you :) and au jus....mmm.

f.b- ucb is the best ever.

not the rcokefellers- word i'll check out the link!

omchelsea- one word, love it. lol.

heather- thank you!!!

natalie- was a great trip indeed- AND yes mac and cheese. perfection.

angryredhead- oh yessss all that....lol. I think of those things too. Am I terrible that food is one of the first thoughts!?

perfectly pleaseant- it was packed and now i'm sick, have been on the couch for three days deathly ill! ah!

walkingonsunshine- isnt it the best city ever?!

kristen- YES. BREAD.

iliva rae- christmas in nyc is one of the best times to go....love it then. and thank you :)

kristin- welll maybe not really swine flu, i'm just sort of wildly dramatic.

bridget- man, i would totally share a last meal with you that all sounds perfect.

herding cats- can you have both? i mean if youre gonna die and all? why not.

jdiggety- I LOVE MOROCCAN food! The job, can't really say, it's awesome though. maybe later... :)

tricia- thank you! glad to be back!

gingermandy- i love that idea. jalapenos. yes.
without the affect of them the lext day...

mcsass- I LIKE YOU ALREADY. two bottles? fuck yeah. more is better. Thanks for coming by, hope to see you again new friend, cheers!

wine and words- is it bad that i do that whole pizza thing often? no? maybe?

Anonymous said...

SALMON, A Hefe, and Key Lime CHEESECAKE! I know they don't go together, but who says I have to follow rules on the Last Meal.

Sounds like NY was a blast and you had many adventures. Good luck on your new job. we want to hear what it is!


Camels & Chocolate said...

ACK! We were in NYC AT THE SAME TIME (and I even stopped over in Denver for a business thingie for 24 hours on the way). How did we NOT see each other in the line for cupcakes or mac and cheese, as all I essentially did, too, was eat my way through Manhattan?

Unknown said...

excellent point - i'm never eating well again, as it is clearly going to be the death of me. ha!

but if i were to choose, probably all starches or something extremely colorful so that if i am to die by some form of combustion, it'll just look like a goodbye party.

btw, my sis had the real swine flu, and she wanted to die. i was actually pretty excited once i knew she wasn't goingn to die because um, HELLOO, bragging rights!

yea that's right, i'm the chick whose sister is dying of swine flu. buy me lunch.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

hilary- last meals have no rules! damn straight!


feelmore- love the colorful point. lol. and dude, your sister had swine flu? that does give you bragging rights and seriously, i'm glad she ok.

alexa @clevelandsaplum said...

there is nothing wrong with dried mangos!

also, looks like you had an amazing trip and to do it all with a virgin too? eeee-gad!

last meal? something involving cheese, that's all i got.

Ali said...

Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea. Despite the Love issues, it sounds like an incredible trip. That's where I come from, so reading this post was like a little mini vacation of my own. So I love you for that.

Ugh, my last meal? Probably one of everything, sans anchovies and capers.

Sid said...

Yes, what is the new job?
Last meal? Toughie. As long as there's chocolate chip cookies and Kit-Kat ice-cream, I'll be happy.

Dash said...

congratulations on ur new job!! i am so happy for you, and wowa that was a massive schedule, there. its great that u had so much fun, though!
Also, my last meal, will probably grilled lamb chops with brown sauce, and chocolate mousse for dessert. Yum.

Dash said...

Also, i hope everyhting works out well with the boyfriend. Sending super tight hugs your way.

rachaelgking said...

The world's best cheeseburger- with DOUBLE bacon, and the crispiest French fries.

I am a simple girl.

Unknown said...

Sounds like an amazing trip!! I hope all heals well in your partnership:)

My last meal would have to be a homey meal cooked by my mother preferably shared with her too!

Unknown said...

followed by something drowning in chocolate!

Melissa Blake said...

Great post! My last meal...hmmm, probably my mother's delicious spaghetti casserole! :)

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

great post sweetie. oh I hope by now you are feeling much better. =)
what would my last meal be? Well it would definitely be something made by my mom, she is good at making soul food. I love my momma's cooking. =)

Dr. Russell Norman Murray said...

'My children will be brilliant Mozart freaks, with good looks and I can't die without having some. Period.'

A good goal, I suppose.

Interesting and creative blog. You pull in many comments.

Russ (Blogger Next Blog).

Saltina said...

Really gooey homemade mac and cheese. And then more cheese. And this really good horchata granita + brandy drink I had recently in a tapas restaurant.

I desperately finished the last Harry Potter book in the wee hours of the morning before a trip, because I had to know what happened in case the plane went down.