Monday, November 2, 2009

If I keep singing "Don't rain on my parade" I give you permission to PUNCH ME IN THE FACE.

Just on stage- doin' my thing ;)


So. I want nice things. There....I said it.

I want to be able to buy unnecessary items like Fig scented oils, and Gingerbread shaped baking tins. But more importantly, I want to be able to LIVE. Live my life, cross off lists, live bountifully not BLEAKLY. It also just so happens that my life plans involve more than one vacation to The Mediterranean and a full rhinestone bra.
So, shoot me, I didn't "live simply" was my middle name.

This past week, I was tested- hardcore. tested. Between jobs and people- yes and no. The Universe said, "Chelsea, how much do you want to be able to spend money at The Container Store....come on, how much? You want to buy a condo eventually- well, how bad do you want it?"

I've been given OPTIONS. But every option comes with a laundry list of pros and cons. Major con being, "give up your life- to potentially have a better one. Keyword- POTENTIALLY." Not, absolutely. Just, potentially.

...could be worse, I could have been given the Gout or a lifetime supply of Cheese Whiz, which would be terrible. After the first can was gone anyway. Cause really, who needs that?

Options; you can have everything or NOTHING- it just depends on what your personal, "everything" is. Someones 9-5, or family life- someones nomadic freedom, or DIY scheduling. Someones "place of their own", or Tuesday night book club. Someones one-day-at-a-time, or someones paycheck-to-paycheck. Someones brand new Honda Civic, or someones Employee of the month. All of these things, to SOMEONE, mean EVERYTHING and to someone else, mean nothing at all. It's defining your everything- without the influence of everyone around you, societal standards included- that's the hard part. And how long are you willing to search until you find it? Without deciding that someone's Everything, should be yours too....when it isn't.

It's easy to get gold dust in your eyes when you don't know all the components. With every "perfect" man, "perfect" job, there's a price. It's easy to think, everything would be better IF....

So, I've had to look at myself- at my life- What is my EVERYTHING? Is it really direct deposit to spend on baking tins?....
Freedom. Family. Love. Kicking my Dad's ass at Monopoly (which rarely happens.) Being creative. Not knowing, I actually LIKE not knowing what's going to happen next year, or next month- because for me, that means change. Change= growth, stories, opportunity to stretch and fall and try something new, possibly even check off some of that growing "life list." Everything to me is; having someone to call anytime of the night or day, being able to say NO, or YES- because I want to, not because I SHOULD. A life without guidelines. Using my VOICE- writing it, singing it, screaming with it. Being able to say FUCK really loud- without anyone around me giving a fuck. Navigating through Rachel Ray books and accomplishing a 30-minute meal in 40 minutes (what? I'm not a chef.) Everything to me is being able to say, with my entire soul- that I have EVERYTHING I want and all of the rest, is just a few steps away....

...so do I need to take this potentially glittery opportunity? I haven't decided yet. Maybe I'm much simpler than I thought- at least for now. All I know is that, no matter what- I have everything. I'm already creating my happiness- and "sticking to my fucking guns," doing what I love- in my time. Whether it's NOW, or tomorrow. What I NEED and desire- is already mine.



WHAT'S YOUR "EVERYTHING"???





35 comments:

Doniree said...

I have spent the better part of this year defining just this - what is important TO ME. Not someone else's priorities, but mine. I narrowed it down to love, travel, yoga, writing, and cheese.

So... about that. I've already taken the first steps to make things happen. Good luck to you asking the tough questions to find that answer!

That one girl said...

First of all, you should TOTALLY buy our condo...

Umm, I used to work at the Beverly Hills County Club and trained this FILTHY RICH mom. As she was taking off her gazillion carat diamond ring, told me she was happier, living pay check to pay check and noodles trying to get her husband through med school. (He was a well known plastic surgeon.) Made me happy to be happy for health and the people around me. Rest of fluff.

Fun fluff and sometimes pretty, sparlky fluff, but fluff. But when you do want fluff, right it down, write down the steps to achieve them and start checking off the boxes.

P.S. Container store is WAY too overpriced anyway!

carissajaded said...

Oh I have these arguments all the time in my brain. I do know what is important to me. But I'm not sure I couldn't learn to have other things more important. Or grow... but it could be a shrink.

If that makes any sense. Did in my head.. kind of. Good luck!

omchelsea said...

I think I have some of my priorities wrong... and therefore some of the things that DO matter to me (mostly work-related) are much higher on the scale than is sane.

Kiaargh! said...

Finally! Someone who understands what I'm going threw!

As for "What is my everything?" I haven't decided fully yet. This growing up thing is fun and hard and I'm dragging my feet with it all. But my dreams is what keeps me going. So I guess that is my everything; for without them life would be a bore.

JUST ME said...

You can always quit a job.

That's my motto.
...hence my slightly unemployedness.

Michelle said...

Amazing, per usual. Never EVER stop writing, xox.

Katelin said...

i wish i knew what my everything was. i think i'm slowly but surely figuring it out and getting there, i'll get there.

Elle said...

My everything is to follow my dreams and my heart no matter how big the risk is, whether pursuing my creative dreams or learning to know who I am and what I stand for. I don't want to be stifled in my growth and give in to societal expectations and norms. I know it sounds abstract but this year has really got me thinking about finding who I am and really following through!

Hope you find your everything too :)

Meghan said...

This post makes me really happy. I totally hear what you're screaming. It took me a LONG time, but I am finally comfortable living for ME and NOT by anyone else's standards. So what if my husband and I don't own a house in the suburbs with a dog and babies, like everyone else? We love living in a big city. I guess you could say "my everything" is me and the hubs, battling life together and doing things that make us happy.

You rock.

angryredhead said...

Funny, I've had these thoughts swirling around in my head a lot lately. My everything is "travel." I want to have a home here in the city, but be able to freely wander whenever I want. Unlikely? Yes. Impossible? No. How to get there? No fucking clue, but I'm working on it. I want one of those careers that I'm fired up on ALL THE TIME. Like I hate sonar technology, but everyone else I work with LOVES SONAR TECHNOLOGY. It's their passion. I want that kind of feeling. Does this make sense? It's late and I might be drunk.

Sebastian said...

Nicely observed, on the subjectivity of 'everything' :)

Same deal with 'too' really... what is too much? Hm...

Perfectly Pleasant said...

My everything can be defined as a Saturday night surrounded by all my favorite people, a few beers and lots of laughs. It's really all I need.

Nahl said...

A damn good job that leads to financial freedom, and therefore social freedom. to make choices. choices of what to do, who to marry, how to live.
that all comes down to studying. Then why, may I ask, tend to talk the talk but not walk the walk?! (ie not study). CHELSEA I NEED AN ANSWER FROM YOU REGARDING THIS ONE.

Kimi said...

I just love this post! Everything is definitely different to everyone.

I want just enough. I am simple. I have dreams that I hope are a reality one day but I am happy in the moment. Trying not to dwell on what may or may not come into my future.

GingerMandy said...

i've been taking the last few months to evaluate just what is right for ME, and i've figured out that it is quitting my desk job and writing full time. i know money will not be perfect at first, but i NEED to do this and damnit, i'm going to. if not now, then when? taking this plunge is perfect happiness for me. :)

also, there is some sort of unwritten clause that states it is physically and mentally impossible for any girl to beat her dad at monopoly. trust me, i've worked on it and it JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN.

and if you do accomplish that, you must let me know. you'll be a Goddess in my book. :)

DesBisoux said...

Dude...I can relate so much to what you say it knots my stomach. I'm not currently faced to a professional choice because I have to create it.
I'm happy on my own finally . Not all the time.
But I'm getting there. And that's the beginnig of my everything.
Thank you for speaking your mind. And doing it so so so well.

xcetrachick said...

Well said!

Anonymous said...

我對於甜食的網路慾望是還好的,可有可無,但是對於專家乳酪蛋糕我就沒輒了。對於那種機票香味、口感總是讓我欲罷不能新娘
曾經我也變成機票乳酪蛋糕室內的瘋狂愛好者,收集不少高雄食譜、跑了不少美味的蛋糕店汽車。直到有一天花園,驚覺自已的腰已經穿不下最愛的褲子時,乳酪蛋糕發威了,只好說bye-bye了。
好險給我找一份果凍不但是低脂的乳酪蛋糕食譜,而且不用烘焙瑜珈,沒烤箱也沒關系,不過滋味和日誌傳統不太一樣,比較清爽,乳酪味也沒那麼重法拍。但是有種柔順滑嫩又清涼的口感。
灣娶大陸和教室東南亞的新娘一年有多少萬人?新郎年紀呢?據新聞專家報導,有越來越多台灣男人娶大陸和東南亞的新娘請問有多少清潔呢?娶大陸和東南亞新娘診所的男人年紀都多大呢?
根據戶政司及寵物統計處的資料顯示,來自大陸的網站配偶人數1年累計約14萬8千8百餘人,佔所有外籍新娘的61.61%,為外籍配偶之冠,東南亞新娘有1萬6千多人,佔37.31%,兩地區就佔外籍新娘的98.95%,顯示台灣的外籍新娘生活幾乎全部來自大陸與東南亞。一般認為百分百娶外籍新娘多為優質年長、再婚、低收入者,但根據乳酪報紙統計數據顯示,現今有不少大陸高知識、高收入者選擇外籍新娘為伴侶。

LiLu said...

Dudette.

If you're not using that Cheesewhiz, hand it over!!

Lisa-Marie said...

My everything. I want to work (with kids), but when I have children, I want to be a stay at home mum. I want to be respected. I want to spend time with people without it compromising something else. I want to have enough money that I don't get to the last week of the month and think 'shiiiiit'. I want to be Dae's wife, and still be appreciated for being myself. I have most of this (I'm working on the mony thing and the time for people thing). I want to feel comfortable being me. I want to be able to make at least a small difference in the world.

Amelia M said...

You speak some real wisdom there. We really do need to remind ourselves every so often that, hey, what I want and what you want are two different things. For me, I desire to live with integrity, to be able to support myself through creative expression, to be surrounded by friends that inspire me in all manner of ways. I want to be able to travel and learn constantly, and have the money that I need to do that with some degree of comfort.

monokulture said...

This is an interesting post, it reminds me of a project I did years ago: Discovering what people REALLY care about, what means everything to them, is endlessly interesting.

I used to be very trapped into defining myself via other people's expectations.. now, thankfully, I'm actually happy with the messy splurge I live in :)

Also, this whole discussion gives me an idea. So thank you for the inspiration!

Feelmore said...

My everything keeps changing which makes it more exciting to keep chasing for it. It makes me feel like I've led so many different lives. I've had the money and the freedom at the same time but not the creative inspiration and excitement that I now have because I didn't have my husband. Now I have my husband and freedom to an extent but not the money but tons and tons of creativity and as long as I get to make a stupid purchase here or there, I've already got nearlly all of it. Still waiting on the pony though...

missy. said...

looove this.

i am in the exact same situation. and i totally agree with this sentence right here..

"Everything to me is; having someone to call anytime of the night or day, being able to say NO, or YES- because I want to, not because I SHOULD. A life without guidelines."

i hate how everyone tries to tell us what to say, where to work, what to graduate in or even how to live our every day lives. i'm done with that and have been trying to live life without guidlines for a while and it works. keep it up girl.

hiphophippie.com said...

Pure awesome. As usual, complete agreement on this end. My "everything" is my health, my peeps, and something to inspire me to get up in the morning. It could be as simple as some good granola.

hannahjustbreathe said...

I think a healthy appetite is good in this life. As in, it is GOOD to want and want and want---doesn't all that desire give us the kick in the ass we need to pursue satisfying our craving??

That's what I tell myself anyway.

Phoenix said...

The Container Store owns my soul, FYI. And I do Rachel Ray recipes in about 40 min to an hour depending on how confused I am or how ADD I got while reading the directions.

I haven't decided what my everything is yet. This is hard to do for us girls who can be fifty people at once, saints and sinners, lovers and fighters, tough broads and sensitive girls. Each personality has its own "everything" and you can't please just one, the others will find out.

I have yet to find ONE everything that encompasses ALL of my personalities...but I get fairly close with my spirituality, with my sense of home, of family, and love.

Money comes and goes. So do containers.

mn said...

when i was in my 20s, it was about meeting a nice guy.
As I go through my 30s, it's wondering about why the heck can i not have full-fledged normal periods and WTHeck is going on in there for the last few years!
Health is greatly appreciated now.
1) My everything would be to see my kids grow up and stay healthy.
2) Not living paycheck to paycheck.
3) Having options and a nice size savings acct.
4) To not have to go through the breakup of a family.
5) and last but not least, matching glassware and nicer dishes. and a dresser and a dining room table...and endless visits to sephora. OK, i'm only half serious about these.

Anonymous said...

Chelsea, I have been enjoying your blogs, so much!!!! And, I've also been listening to some of your favorite songs. Great ones!! So, I wasn't really sure, but I do think that you will love David Michael's C.D., so give it a try>? We like it more every time we hear it! He has a kind of young voice.: ) Love you! Keep it up, the great Blogs!hugs, J.L ....

Melissa Blake said...

My everything is love. Cheesy?

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

melissa- NOT AT ALL.

Shannon of ** Happiness Is...** said...

This is a great post. AND you are hilarious! Love your blog. It's nice to meet a fellow musician blogger!

thatShortChick said...

This is exactly where I am at in life right now.

Everything is so up in the air, I have no clue where I'm going to be in 6 months (or really what I'm going to be doing), that I'm searching for something.

Because there is a whole lot of nothing happening.

I'm trying to do things that will challenge me physically and mentally in order to develop more of my self-identity.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I see a definite gene thing going on here!!! Both of your Great Grand Mothers were stubborn and outspoken!!!! But, they didn't have your soft heart, to follow up with.Now they were tough,but, yet they could also be kind, when they had to be..... There is hope!!!!: )But, you, my wild child, will never really be tame!Love ya! Granny

 
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