"Do you respect me?"
....when someone asks you something in the pitch black of night, when you're half asleep, you know it's even more important. Whatever that "something" was on their brains was plaguing their thoughts and wasn't going to let them sleep and dream of sugar plum fairies, or trapeze swinging in Cirque Du Soleil, or sex with Megan Fox. This "something" was the itch and was going to be scratched. My Love's something was "respect."
..."Yes, I respect you."
And here's the problem kids......
"I shouldn't have to tell you why....you should know why. And if you don't know why I should respect you, then that problem has nothing to do with US, that has to do with you."
Sometimes we need someone else to tell us WHY we're lovable. Or worth it. When need someone to remind us that we're the most magnificent part of their lives because we're "what completes them." but.... when you can't answer those things, somewhere, hidden in the back of your little heart- no matter what that beaming person in front of you says, won't matter.
We're a mess. We're a mess because we love each other, but love doesn't solve problems. Love doesn't make a to-do list and give you a sharpened pencil to cross everything off. Love doesn't make sure that you're going to be able to pay rent on time, or buy me a birthday present. Love doesn't help you get a new pair of shoes when it's the dead of winter and you only have flip flops. Love doesn't bring home the bacon- working your ass off, getting calluses and earning the right to yawn because you've been balls to the wall for 14 hours, brings home the bacon. Respect is given when you believe you deserve it, you can only "fake deserve" for so long...
Love doesn't give you self worth, if the love isn't coming from YOURSELF.
Love doesn't have words, or actions, or kisses hard enough to make someone feel that you RESPECT THEM. In all their brilliance, discombobulation, and good intentions- love isn't going to make them feel something if they refuse to discover it on their own.
I could say "I love you" a million times, but that isn't going to feed you at night. I could focus all of my energy as intensely as physically possible on loving you, but that doesn't mean you're going to look at yourself in the mirror and think ANY differently about yourself.
I could say, "good job." or "You're on the right track" or "it's all going to work out...." but it's all only going to be true if we meet in the middle. Somewhere HALF WAY. Even if it's just our finger tips touching, that's close enough. Meeting in the middle is more than a paycheck; it's a drive, an effort, a look in your eye that says you aren't going to let me walk out.
LOVE doesn't tell you that you're beautiful, magnificent, genius- CAPABLE and strong, if you don't REALLY believe it on your own, without me.
I'll look into those perfectly blue eyes and say it....600 more times. 6,000 more times. Until my throat is hoarse and the words lose their meaning, they just become sounds. Because I do. I love you and I respect you......now it's your turn.
CAN SOMEONE LOVE YOU, if you don't love you......?