Monday, October 5, 2009

What's the point of a fucking cake if I can't eat it?


Sometimes, we don't know what the fuck we're doing.

Let's be honest. Sometimes, I feel like a I'll never get it "right." Sometimes, your "gut" doesn't give you the answer. Instead it tells you two answers and you sit there thinking, "well- which answer did my MIND make up, and which one was actually my gut speaking? What does my guts voice even sound like? Is she more Sandra Oh, or Oprah?" FUCK. Then you sip down a couple more Sauv Blancs and wine, irrationality, truth and mixed emotions join the conversation making it one big- "Fuck with your brain fest! There's a punch bowl, and a DJ- come join!"

Indecision invites so many inconsiderate emotions to the party.

It is possible for us know to everything and nothing at the same time. Just FYI. Why didn't we learn THAT in school. Along with balancing a check book, How-to avoid a panic attack in Wal-Mart, Conversation starters with Christian families, and how to climax faster when you're in a time crunch. That would have been useful, E=MC.....whatever never meant shit to me. How to decide between OPTION 1. AND OPTION 2. would've been better.....A "Dealing with Indecision 101" of sorts.

Making choices based on standards, and other peoples feelings (oh yeah that?) for most of our lives gives us such a skewed perception of HOW WE REALLY FEEL. Especially when we're adults and suddenly, we're allowed to choose for ourselves. Pick your job, your location, your lover, YOU CAN DECIDE! But wait.....how do we make the decision?? When there's so many delicious flavors? I mean, Banana Cream Pie and Chocolate Mousse are both equally decadent and satisfying.....but which one should I go with? Do we try it all? Or is that "having your cake and eating it to?" And what's the point of a cake if you can't eat the God damn thing.

IT'S LIKE THIS WITH EVERYTHING; One job is amazing, but SO IS THE OTHER. One shoe fits, but so do about a million other Manolo's just sitting there waiting to be tried on. It's endless......it's the beautiful, taunting, inspiring and disturbing fact of life.

I want to have the answers. I want to be that, "Early Bird that gets the worm" because I know which worm I want, and where it is. I don't want to wake up in the morning and walk around looking like a confused Malty Poo, or a fucking unibomber cause I'm all "tortured in thought."

Half the fucking time I can't decide if I want oatmeal, or Special K for breakfast- BOTH DELICIOUS OPTIONS, I know the two exist beside each other, yet it still taunts me every morning. And that's just fucking cereal.

Life isn't cereal. It's not that simple. WHAT TO DO DO WITH MYSELF, ISN'T CEREAL.

We don't always know. We don't have "that GUT instinct." Our heart doesn't always "guide our way." And all that hogwash about a Divine Being standing by your bed, glowing, playing a harp, shirtless with perfect abs, delivering you a message, in the middle of the night, is also not true.

It is possible to have the answer and the question, the yes and the no, existing as one. Conflicted much? Yes.


Can you hear your "GUT INSTINCT"????




86 comments:

Lisa-Marie said...

The short answer to this is no. The long answer is, If it's related to childcare, teaching or that sort of thing, my gut is good to go, becuase I'm making the descision for the sake of someone else. For me, I'm hopeless. I see to end up doing things I enjoy though.

jillian-anne said...

can you have a boyfriend who is your best friend and have excitement? apparently that is having your cake and eating it too :(

Jules said...

I can HEAR it....doesn't mean I always LISTEN to it....

Eve said...

I think I can. I also think I'm indecisive as fuck. If someone gives me options I'm screwed. BUT when it comes to the big things like "Should I marry this fella?" "Should I have this baby?" "Should I stay in the UK or move back to the US?" Those decisions have always been easy peasy. Not that I haven't thought about them, but I knew from the beginning what my gut said.

Now, ask me if I'd prefer to go see Incubus or Jimmy Eat World, then I could NEVER choose.

olivia rae said...

i can sometimes, but the majority of the time i'm so indecisive, and like you can't even choose what to have for breakfast!

Lilian Moreira εϊз said...

Oh, God, I feel the same. And like you said, life is not a fucking cereal. I can't find answers neither... That sucks!

Alice in Wonderland said...

Hey, have you never heard of us girls having PREROGATIVES? Have a bit of both, be fickle, be different and dare to choose! Follow yourself and not the crowd!
Just go for whatever it is that you want. No one said that there were any rules to follow!
Now, go out there, and just DO IT!!!

Doniree said...

My gut's pretty good about telling me what I'm NOT supposed to do, but what I AM?

I've always had a tendency to order combo platters because I can't make up my mind and want EVERYTHING.

At first I just thought it meant I liked a lot of different foods... then I realized I can't make up my mind.

That's still true.

Now... about that shirtless guy playing harp as I drift off to sleep? Where do I find him?

Manju said...

I'm indecisive as heck >_<
and i really need to make some serious decisions right now, it's so so damn annoying

hannahjustbreathe said...

Most of us women spend most of our lives NOT listening to our guts because we're taught to be polite, to be good, to be "nice," to try to get good grades, to be pleasing and appealing and kind, even to god damn strangers.

Listening to your gut---and actually translating what its saying into real-life actions---takes balls. Grit. Resolve. Pride. Hard work.

Which is probably why so many of us don't turn up our hearing aides in the first place.

Lacey said...

This is something i have struggled with too. When ever choosing one of two great options, I always play out a mini scenario for each. There is usually one that leaves my "gut" feeling dissapointed, and thats when I know. I choose which one I would be bummed out if I missed. kinda hard to explain i guess. but I agree, its a bitch.

denvermusicscene said...

Ahh, it's so nice to get up and read some fantastic Chels talks smack first thing in the morning!! It's a real bummer that we've all been trained to ignore our gut, that our instincts are primal and therefore unsuited for modern day life, and that in our current society we are often forced to choose between our passion and unbearable poverty. That is, if we're even lucky enough to have a passion that hasn't been washed away during childhood in the first place.

Erin said...

I feel the same way so often. It's really hard to go with your "gut" when there are so many possible scenarios. I try to follow my instinct the best I can, but it's not always easy.

DesBisoux said...

ha ah! i could written that post. well not really but i feel EXacTLy the same.
sometimes the little devil voice imitates the gut feeling voice...and feed me some BS.
and yes, why haven't they've taught us the REAL stuff at school???
great post...xxx

just me said...

I'm learning to really hear my gut instinct. To really listen.

...Must be all the hippie shit I'm doing out here.

Carissajaded said...

Man oh man, i can relate on this one. I think I'm seriously going to have to start carrying an 8 ball around.

Sizzle said...

I can hear my gut instincts but sometimes the music is too loud to make out what it's saying.

Phoenix said...

I think gut instinct is like a muscle. We need to consistently work it in order to use it, or then we lose it and if we end up using it after eight months of no use we just end up hurting ourselves.

Gut instincts are pretty awesome, though...when you know for sure that it's not just fear or doubt. That's where the practice has to come in. There's a lot of other crap swirling around inside us that would like to claim it's our gut instinct, and ain't nothing but big fat fear.

Kristin said...

Too often I don't listen to mine.

Blossom said...

ha, thats cool you randomly found my blog. i hope youre a member of sarcastic blogers on 20 somethings cuz this stuff is like the perfect writings for it. ha.

and i like to believe i can hear my gut. my gut is the first decision that pops in my mind. it may be wrong- but if its what i thought first, then it must be my gut feeling. my mind comes in after a minute, after that first decision and takes a step back. i still usually go with my gut.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

just me- boulder will do that to you

jillian anne- ah....hm.....life isn't always that simple though? right? or is it?

Sweet_Tooth said...

The only thing my gut is good at telling me is which pair of shoes to put wear. Beyond that my innards are a devil's playground of twisted mind-instinct communication.

Thanks for the comment on my blog! I love your straight-forward, tell it like it is style! Your blog is funny and refreshing. You remind me what it means to quit the sugar-coating and give the real stuff!
cheers
x

Gigi said...

Hi, Chelsea,
I completely hear what you're saying because I'm married to an indecisive person, but believe it or not, I am very decisive. The down side is that I have made some catastrophically bad decisions in my life. The upside is, I am able to make choices pretty quickly to help climb out of the huge pits I've dug for myself when my past decisions were crappy. I can't tell if I'm going with my gut or my brain usually, but I think it's a bit of both.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets panic attacks in Wal-Mart. That place gives me the creeps.

xo Gigi

JKreids said...

I have learned to never trust my gut. Whatever I think the best option is, I go with the opposite. I spent so many years thinking I was right, trying to PROVE my rightness, only to finally learn I was usually wrong. I have resigned my self to believe that I know enough to know I don't know enough.

repliderium.com said...

I usually go with the one nobody expects me to. Or whichever choice in which booze and cigarettes are acceptable.

Summer @ B is for Brown said...

i hear it but sometimes don't listen. so i read this earlier today and i was heading to an appt to see someone. lol. maybe my therapist and i hear these two ladies say, "she has her cake but wants to eat it too" and i laughed. i said, but isn't that the point - to eat your cake! cake is yummy and the frosting. mmmm! they kept walking their pooches. xoxo

little erin said...

hey chelsea-
i know you've commented on me before-
but i just want you to know i have moved from blogger to wordpress.
i don't want to leave anyone high and dry!!!
my new site is www.erinuncensored.wordpress.com
hope to see you around there soon

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

sweet tooth- well thank you! and thanks for stopping by i enjoyed your blog!

relipderium- totally. hear. ya.

gigi- usually when im indecisve my other half is the decisive one so it does work out to balance eachother.

jkreids- AH, indeed.

summer- the forsting is the best part!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

little erin- thanks dear!

Allyson said...

hey! thanks for stopping by and giving it some blog love today.:)

oh my gosh girl, i love your writing! you put a spin on this stuff that makes a person think.

...and i like how you say Fuck in your blog. it's one of my favorite words! ha ha (gotta watch it around the toddler, though. oops)

happy monday! i'm so glad you stopped by so i could see your blog! i'll def. be back.

Wine and Words said...

Take a deep breath, deep into the gut of it....blow it out slow and deliberate. Do it again.*sigh* Life!

LiLu said...

About the little things? Yes, absolutely, all the time.

About anything that really matters?

Not on your life.

Ali said...

I've always been told that I have a great gut instinct. I always happen to be a huuuge worry wart. Worry warts + good guts = no bueno. Because when I wanna trust my GUT, I WORRY that that may not be my gut talking.

Vicious cycle! Good post, per usual.

Elizabeth said...

Dude, I totally think having your cake and eating it too is just not do-able. Not in reality, at least. I mean, it's like having the best of both worlds - no one has that. No one I know, at least. And I totally feel what you're saying about indecision, it positively does me in sometimes.

Amy --- Just A Titch said...

I think my gut instinct has schizophrenia. I always feel like I have a million options and don't know which to pick. I try my hardest to drown out the rest...but man, it's tough.

Gooseberried said...

I pretty much never have a gut instinct. I don't even have a fight or flight syndrome to rely on, so you can imagine the situations I get myself in.

Elle said...

I can hear it...but I often ignore it, go with the other stupid mind choice and find myself screwed in the end. It's vicious circle.

A French Cloud said...

I hear ya sistah :) NOT listening to my gut (or in this case...my heart) tore me apart. On the upside; I'm much stronger now and everything worked out amazingly well. Thanks for stopping by.

Hilary said...

my gut instinct is usually over powered by my "mind instinct" and me worring way too fucking much. I've always been a very indecisive person who gets bored with my choices often. I need to listen to my "gut" more often. I think I'll have more fun in life. Thanks for the inspiration!
xoxo

Amelia M said...

My gut instinct is often (if not always) right when it comes to assessments of other people. But when it comes to life decisions and 'my path' things get a little bit more difficult! But I think the reason I feel conflicted always comes down to insecurities - "what if I fail?" - and I then listen to my brain, which tells me that with hard work and perserverance comes achievement.

nicole addison said...

i try to hard to follow my gut instinct but sometimes it doesnt work that well. i'm right there with you on this post!

Meghan said...

I know I don't have all the answers but sometimes it's okay to eat both banana cream pie and chocolate pudding at the same time.Literally and metaphorically.

Nahl said...

Dude my head is aching after all the mental debates of Nikon D60 vs the Canon ...SOMEONE please help or i'll go mad.

K @ Blog Goggles said...

We have way too freaking many choices these days. Making food-related choices used to be super easy for me because I wouldn't eat ANYTHING, so there was just one thing on any given menu that I would even consider eating. See, super easy. Then I started eating more stuff, and suddenly the whole menu was open to me. The indecision is crippling. So, basically, you're so right.

Amanda said...

It's simple - you can have your cake and eat it too. And it's OK to change your mind too! But the harp player with great abs - you're right, definitely a myth!

I love your blog! So glad you helped me find it!

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laurennicolelove.blogspot.com

B said...

Gut instinct I have. Other complicated, conflicting emotions? I also have. Sometimes the gut instinct is muffled by what I WANT or think SHOULD happen. Sometimes I IGNORE my gut instinct. I did that this summer and it still kinda hurts.

good entry though. ugh, life.

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SUGAR said...

ahah in a word, no

im always wrong about those things, i always later wish i would have gone for the other option.

in my opinion, between the choice of two differnt food...i would cut out the middle man and have both

just easier that way ;)

sugar
xoxo

Gemma Louise said...

wow, i absolutely love your writing style it's so straight to the point!

but my theory is no you can't have both, life is just one big decision after the other, whether you make the right one or not you learn from it and then it helps making the next one a little bit easier. eventually you'll get there!

so your eating one bit of cake a time, otherwise your just greedy! ;) x

KnockKnocking said...

Haha, very thought provoking. I ALWAYS try to have my cake and eat it too, but it doesn't always happen.

xoxo Agnes

floreta said...

"Making choices based on standards, and other peoples feelings (oh yeah that?) for most of our lives gives us such a skewed perception of HOW WE REALLY FEEL."

I'm glad i'm not the only one!!

I try to follow my intuition or 'inner compass' as i like to say. but, don't get me wrong, it CAN be tough. i don't agree on the spiritual divine stuff either. YOU have the power to decide and it's all YOU. but that decision can be so hard to make. and yes, life isn't just cereal. and yes, i have the hardest time even making minute decisions.

Christina Lee said...

"Conversation starters with Christian families, and how to climax faster when you're in a time crunch"--haha love it.
oh I am SO not one to speak on this--conflicted even as we speak!

Lisa Anne said...

I'm so indecisive, I don't know my left from my right!

Cafe Fashionista said...

I can totally hear my gut...unfortunately, I often fail to listen to it. Sometimes what my gut tells me is downright boring. I want something fun and exciting! :)

angryredhead said...

My gut instinct tells me this is my new favorite blog. How's that?

Missy said...

My gut instinct is usually to eat something!

Missy
For all things fashion:
http://thefashionfusion.blogspot.com

The Peach Tart said...

I struggle with this all the time. Do I have red wine or a martini? Do I wear a thong or granny panties today? Do I want a #4 or do I want to supersize it? So many decisions.

carma said...

Don't even get me started on the topic of indecision. I'm so indecisive it's a wonder I can type a comment sometimes, without thinking if it is an appropriate comment, if I should leave a longer one, etc. etc. etc.

Jay Ferris said...

At first I read this title as "What's the point of fucking a cake if I can't eat it?". Of course I did. Secondly, I think the answer to that question would have been much simpler.

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Chelsea Talks Smack said...

6p00d8341c587753ef - AH! If that's really you, I'm dying right now. Thank you!

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jessica said...

oh boy, indecision, story of my life :s

Lilian Moreira εϊз said...

Hi Chelsea! :)

I have just posted an award for you in my blog. Come by and check it! :)

Cheers,

Lilian

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

lillian- well thanks dear!

Valeriesoh said...

darling. when it seems like things are complex, take a deep breath. That really helps me with my stressful job. Models late, wrong clothing sizes, photographer who forgot to bring camera! (that did happen!)

smile

xx

thegirlin3k said...

I usually know when something ISN'T right, but when the options are just too good is when I can't make a decision to save my life. But, I don't think I've ever felt like it's mislead me...

Valencia Lia said...

Thanks for the lovely comment on my blog girl !

Yeaa,I agree with what you said. Life is like like a rollercoaster. Ups and downs

Sharon Rose said...

Hi there-a fabulous thought provoking post my dear!!

ali said...

agh this is an everyday thing for me. usually by the time i've decided, it's too late.

ana b. said...

Oh jesus I'm so glad I found this blog because it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. I get the point of cake. Because I ALWAYS EAT IT. I never NOT eat it.

And this generation - so many choices, so little commitment to actually sticking by those choices.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

ana.b- well thank you for coming by, I LOVE A PERSON WHO WILL EAT THE HYPOTHETICAL, OR LITERAL CAKE!

Kacee said...

Can I just say how much I love reading you? It's like you live inside my head and unlike me you're able to articulate all the shit that goes on inside there.

Regarding your question; my gut is totally related to my hormones. Sometimes I can make a clear and consice decison based on weighing the facts. Those are the days the house is clean and the kids are well taken care of.

The other times...when I'm totally at odds as to what to do are the days I change outfits 3 different times or can't decide between the dinosaur park and the children's museum. It's like what if I listen to my gut and it's wrong? will the world implode?

J-Diggety said...

OMG. You are effing hilarious!!! And this is damn funny to me because it is my life as well... SIGH. But as far as I'm concerned, I WILL have my cake and eat the thing. I'm hungry too often to not eat it.

NYer in NZ said...

You know that Ashley Judd/Hugh Jackman movie where she's convinced women are like cows? Well I'm pretty sure our guts being divided into chambers fits into the theory!

There's the responsible instinct, the selfish instinct, the moral instinct, the hopelessly ambitious instinct. When even your guts are indecisive you know you're in trouble!

I find it helps to wear 3-D glasses, in hopes that all of those red and blue thoughts combine into the greenest grass option imaginable.

And I think I just started the beginning of a blog post of my own :) Thanks for the inspiration!

Court said...

Oh my god. Thank you this post is so right on. I can't make a damn decision about cereal either. I will have near breakdowns in the grocery store and people expect you to know the answeres to life? Psha. AND OH HELL NO I do in fact want the cake and I would like to eat it too thank you!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

nyer in nz- well youre welcome- and damn, i need to see that movie?

court- PSHA IS RIGHT

Sebastian said...

Hm... you can't teach gut instinct.

You can't teach rationality.

The only thing you can do is EDUCATE. The reason you don't know how how to resolve a situation, or what is the 'best' choice, is simply because you are not educated enough.

This might be through lack of LITERAL education -- books -- or it might be just through lack of EXPERIENCE -- or 'wisdom', in other words.

Humans are very, _very_ rational. That's one of our strongest points. Problem is, you can't be rational if you're lacking a lot of data to compute with... :)

I think this is the related blog post: http://blog.mrseb.co.uk/2009/09/thoughtful-tuesday-rational-good-evil/

Tink in My Closet said...

My gut is my bestfriend+ worst enemy!! It contradicts itself over 20 times per day.. and everynight when I go to bed I'm still full of uncertainty!!

I'm adding you to my bloglist.. Why? Bcoz your awesome!

مى said...

This is my favorite post ever! You're so good at expressing your points of view. Nice :)

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

Thanks for visiting my site!

My gut is always trying to fuck me over. I have to weigh all the options carefully or else my gut screws me.

Mel said...

That expression of wanting to eat your cake too...is the dumbest expression EVER. I'm glad someone else sees that. Because you're right... who wants a cake that they can't eat?!? Seriously...

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