Wednesday, October 7, 2009

When things fall apart, I make a wicked Mosaic flask.


In hindsight, we always see when it's "coming to an end."

It's like the precarious chandelier in the corner of the room, that you hung with just one hook- you know it's going to fall, it's just a matter of when. So you let it hang, you eye it when someone skips too closely, or stomps too loudly while gyrating to "Imma Be" by the Black Eyed Peas with a Jack and Coke in their hand- you watch it, you watch it tremble and applaud its strength for holding on through one more shaky evening and not knocking out an unassuming guest. Until one day....when you're spreading strawberry cream cheese on an everything bagel, humming "Three Little Birds", before you've checked your emails, or put on mascara- before you've allowed the World permission to come in to your space and potentially, fuck up your day.....it FALLS. It shatters to the ground leaving you vulnerable, in a robe and with a big fucking mess and not enough time to clean it up.

That unsteady chandelier is just a TINY thread of a whole fucking BLANKET. Whether it's a chandelier, a car breaking down on the highway when it's had it's "check engine" light on for months, a job loss when you saw people leaving like they could predict the inevitable storm, or a parking ticket when you saw the meter flashing red. The point is, we SEE IT COMING. We just don't acknowledge it half the time. Because that means, we might have to get another fucking hook for the damn chandelier- or take the car in when it's inconvenient, or park a mile away when you're wearing your too-small-sexy-bitch-blister-heels and still need to grab an iced coffee.

Acknowledging the presence of something "falling away" from you means you are going to either have to A. accept change. B. do something about it. or C. cry in public. And fuck, I'm a princess and would like to choose none of the above, unless option C comes with a lollipop.

Often it's right when everything is SHINING THE BRIGHTEST that the lights starts to flicker. When the marquee is ablaze, constant, blistering light is bound to burn out. Just when the peach is the ripest, when the texture is just right, is when it's merely moments away from spoiling and turning into something useless, inedible and brown.

Autumn is the perfect example- every leaf, every color is brilliant- we stop and look in awe of them, we seek out the most "beautiful" ones and then, we watch them die.

Things fall apart, or fall off. We lose screws. Both literally and hypothetically.

......Perfectly good fruit spoils. Eventually a once "bright new house" needs a new coat of paint. We need to cleanse, to start over- so allow the impending "fall" of things happen as it may and react SANELY, because it isn't like you really believed those damn leaves where going to stay that way forever. When something is hanging by a thread it has a time limit- eventually the mama Adult tooth is going to give you no other choice than to twist that wonky baby tooth out of it's way. It's growing in whether you like it or not. And you may as well avoid looking like "Shark face" in the meantime.

Luckily- I'm not actually worried about baby teeth. But hey, the metaphor fits? Or now, I'm just picturing my face if I had tiny chicklet baby teeth- ah! The horror!



SO, everything has fallen.....
Do you: cry and wish the leaves were still hanging pretty on the tree, OR make it a party and roll around in them???


66 comments:

Nahl said...

AMAZING POST, chelsea! How in the world do you come up with knowing that this is exactly what everyone will relate to?

Kate said...

Interesting post. Definately make a pile out opf the leaves and the jump on them! Kate x

CuppyCakes said...

I cry. then I have a lollypop. then I roll around in the leaves.

Passion Fruit said...

I roll around in the leaves but no way imma do it alone.

nicole addison said...

this is wonderful girl. of course i TRY to have a party and roll around in it... which i think i eventually get to.. but my initial reaction is to rake all the peices into a huge pile and hide them behind the house...not wanting the neighbors to see!

Melly said...

I'm a procrastinator - plain and simple.

The problem is that I always seem to pull it out at the end. My taxes get out in time, assignments were always handed in with minutes to spare, and for tricky situations I was able to BS my way out.

Waiting has never burnt me! :) So I continue to let things sit as loooong as possible. Even that pile of leaves!

ashley said...

I love this post!

Typically I'm the crier. Then I roll around the leaves while crying. Then I cry and eat rocky road ice cream (because chocolate makes everything better, right?). THEN I roll around in the leaves! It's a process.

ellabella said...

girl, you have me worried. what happened?!

Matt said...

I've gotten compliments on my shark face before.

wait.

what is a shark face?

yoli said...

I cry... but I react too... sometimes too late but I react...

lady lee said...

! love it when anyone uses the word wonky. It's one of my favorites.

I especially like the combination of "Wonk Eye" shortening it up a bit and adding a noun.

Anyway I love your writing style. Thanks for coming over and taking a looksie at my happenings :)

angryredhead said...

You're a damned gifted wordsmith, Chelsea. Love how you drove the overall message home with such a random example. I've never really thought about how I react to impending DOOM, but I think I'm good at ignoring my problems. Glass of wine fixes all!

P.S. Also LOVE "wonky."

Tricia said...

I really love this place, really..love the post

Doniree said...

1) this is my favorite 'fall is here' post yet.
2) my check engine light has been on for months. perhaps this would be a good time to take that in.
3) i fucking roll around in those leaves, bitch. ;) That crispy sound is one of my all time favorites.

Daffy said...

Beautiful imagery - totally can relate - very spot on!

I'm a cry with a lollipop, rake the leaves and jump in until I burried (all at the same time) kinda person. Fall is my favorite time of the year.

There's a lot to be said for perspective, eh?

Sizzle said...

I roll around in the leaves while crying. Best of both worlds!

Herding Cats said...

Oh I cry....a lot. I need to get it out of my system. Then I usually console myself with chocolate or margaritas (or sometimes both). Great post - so freaking TRUE!

Summer said...

Make it a party and roll around, while crying on the inside.

just me said...

I drink.

And make a party out of THAT.

Erin said...

Very good post. I try to roll around in the leaves.

Wine and Words said...

I rake the damn leaves, throw them in the green waste bin and pretend they were never there while humming..."what goes up, must come down. Spinning wheel goes round and round..."

Grace said...

Beautifully put.

Love Grace.

Melissa said...

You cry at the leaves, then roll around in them when you are strong enough to!! I hope you are okay...

Cindy said...

I love this post. I don't know why it is our human nature to just ignore what we know is coming. Inevitably there comes a point where you cry and wish the leaves were still there after that happens make it a party and roll around in the leaves.

Amelia M said...

Wow, you spoke some beautiful truth there. For me, the answer is to do both - cry and wail and let all the emotion out, and then once it's shed I look only for the bright side, and make sure I have an effing great time.

Niki B. said...

interesting post!
thanks for visiting my blog too.
ps. love the header on yours, so cute.
xo
niki

http://ahautemess.blogspot.com

foxy said...

I guess it all depends on the fragility of my current emotions... ha. How many times in the recent past have i had to pick myself up and dust off? That will determine if I cry or roll around in the leaves.

Great post - so well worded.

Ilse said...

I LOVE YOU.

seriously. you make me laugh so hard. your posts are crammed up with the most amazing and brilliant metaphores which are so, well, crazy but at the sime time very recognizeable!!
I love rolling through leaves but it involves nasty little beasties in your hair as well. it makes me need a lollipop whenever beasties appear in my hairdo.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

matt- YOURE BACK!

ellabella- .....thanks for yoru concern love, it's all going to be ok......sometimes life jsut gets complicated!

melissa- thank you :) that sounds like a good combination

cindy- very true

isle- thank you! BEASITES IN THE HAIR ARE THE WORST. lol

hannahjustbreathe said...

I booze or hit up lots of Bikram yoga classes or, maybe, if it's really bad, stomp my feet all through those leaves, cursing and spitting.

On the whole, though, sucking on a lolly is definitely a good distraction for the bittersweetness (is that a word?) of endings.

I freaking love your posts.

Naddy Sane said...

That was beautiful to read. xD .
nad xx

Kirsten said...

Thanks for checking out my blog, I've been rolling in leaves since Monday, actually!

basiabanana said...

LOVE this post. Can totally relate to it.

One is definitely followed by the other. Cry. Roll. Maybe a drink in between.

•¦Amy¦• said...

loved the post!
it makes me realize how much i need to work on making the best of shitty situations. i have the unfortunate tendancy of just ignoring it all completely and making myself a cup of tea hoping that it will just all go away...

Abra said...

Hmm. It probably depends on my mood, honestly. Life is so intertwined - if one thing goes wrong and everything else is going right, well that one thing doesn't seem so bad. But if one thing goes right and everything else is going wrong, well that one thing doesn't seem so great.

So if everything else is going great, then I'd be rolling in leaves. And if everything else sucks, I'd cry. Maybe.

Love this line, btw: "And fuck, I'm a princess and would like to choose none of the above, unless option C comes with a lollipop."

:)

J-Diggety said...

First I cry. And throw a damn good temper tantrum. Then I don my fiercest jeans and heels and rock that shit like it's 1999.

Luv this post :)

briannelee said...

Wow, very inspiring! When life hands you lemons, right?

Thank you for the comment on my blog :)

Feelmore said...

HA! yes. roll around in those leaves. you can cry in them too. multitasking.

Natalie said...

Roll and cry. I like to multitask.

I loved this post. Definitely needed right now to put things in perspective.

Alicia said...

ohhh girl i roll in the leaves... i'm not a crier...but amazing post, i really loved it!

Sher said...

I'll love to say that I'll make a party and roll around the leaves but I think I'll definitely need someone to do it with me:)

Alice in Wonderland said...

I'd just have a leaf party, and laugh and drink and said I told you so!
I use the word "wonky" all the time...but I guess that it is an English thing! Someone asked me the other day if I ever used the phrase "Fucking wanker", I say that a lot of times, under my breath, all the time too!

Ace said...

I can tell you this, you cry a good deal. Get yourself some apple cider and some whisky and come to Boston so we can wrap ourselves in blankets, sit on my porch and drink those drinks while not fixing that damn chandelier like we should

repliderium.com said...

Uhm. All of my baby teeth had to be pulled out as the big ones were popping out behind.
I'm sorry- I cannot answer your question. I will be too busy rocking in the fetal position under my desk remembering my shark mouth.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Allyson said...

I def. make it a party and roll around in them!! ha ha

I’ve come to realize that the longer I try to hold onto something, the longer it takes me to move on and accept it.

This post ROCKED. I love the way you look at things!

Phoenix said...

first I cry. Then I party. Better than the other way around, eh?

brandyismagic said...

Just saw you in my glamour magazine! You look fabulous.

Amanda said...

You are so wise! What brillaimt metaphors! I cry...and then swear at myself, because I'm partly to blame!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Great post. Everything does seem to happen at once. It did for me this past year. What a nightmare. I wish I could say I jump in the pile of leaves and have fun, but it's not that easy...

yiqin; said...

Great post! I need to stop complaining about things & make my life better <3

Tom Bailey said...

I like your blog I connected through another blog:

"Acknowledging the presence of something "falling away" from you means you are going to either have to A. accept change. B. do something about it. or C. cry in public"

Maybe another choice is D - let it go.

Kristin said...

As I've gotten I've realized more and more that there is something to be said for making a party of it!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Tom- AH yes....sometimes it's not so easy. But, I do agreee letting go is good...

cinderella said...

Hello! Just wanted to drop by and say thanks for your lovely comments!
And your blog is absolutely amazing!!! I am so hooked and I've only read a couple of posts! Love your writing style! :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

You have to make it a party. What a great way to enjoy that moment. Acceptance is one of the most powerful mental tools. Love you and all your brilliance! Love Aunt Nicole :)

lara said...

Love this post!!!and thanks for your comment!!
Kisses.

walkingonsunshine18 said...

I would def. make it a party and roll in the leaves! :)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

aunt nicole- I LOVE YOU. !!!

Marissa said...

Things have certainly fallen apart for me. My whole world, more or less. BUT, I'm not going to sulk around and feel sorry for myself. I'm not only going to have a party and roll around in it, I'm going to eat it, breathe it, live in it!

Great post. Looking forward to more. :)

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flipflops said...

I cry and I cry and I cry -- but that's only cuz I cry all the time anyway.

It's hard, but sometimes, you just have to chant to yourself: "Keep on truckin'." (Something about picturing Will Ferrell streaking in Old School makes moving on a little easier...)

TKTC said...

Keep it rolling and hope I smell like them and either have the opportunity to make out IN them or immediately thereafter once my mouth tastes like boozy cider.

Anonymous said...

not gonna lie, I was hoping so very badly to be on high school homecoming court. (yes, roll your eyes at me if you must, but who wouldn't want to sparkle in a dress in front of the very VAIN peers that have made you the self-conscious person you are today?) for once, maybe not have the mean girls stand in, why not shake up the nomination,and have someone like me to stir things up!

and like most high school stories, the usual 'populars' made the list-and not me. to my despair, my senior year so-called-revenge backfired. and let me tell you, it took a HELLUVA lot for me to not jump the girl that claimed the crown.

I did whine, I ranted, I think I even threw a mini temper tantrum in the school bathroom. but I figure, the wind does not break the tree that bends- or just go with the flow, cause otherwise, i'll just have a huge headache and the chip on my shoulder will feel like a boulder

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