Thursday, November 5, 2009

Calling ALL bloggers- I'm a needy bitch with a cause.


I don't recoil easily. I've made people cry, then looked at them stone-faced. I've perfected the "eye roll" and the "I'm going to make you feel like a total dumb fuck if you cross me" look. I'm fiercely loyal, have the memory of a fucking tyrant and generally, "I'm always right." I've hurt people that I love by being too proud and mericless. I'm compassionate, but more often than not, the compassion is going to those/that which is less close to me and those that remain the closest endure my misdirected judgement and cavalier attitude.

.....I'm terrible at saying "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong." SO: Right, I'm not getting a fucking gold star on this assignment.

If there's one thing that's benefited me and harmed me equally- it's been my ruthless ability to make snap judgements and have an opinion before knowing the facts, or considering the back story. My ideology is admirable and contemptible at the same time. It makes me both gutsy and ignorant. Sometimes, when I just need to "put down my dukes," I can't swallow it. I fight harder and often, I lose. When it isn't a game, you risk losing more than just your pride. And in turn, realize how trivial having "too much" pride really is....


My best friend's boyfriend is serving as a Marine in Afghanistan.........

and I've never really liked him.


In my mind, "he wasn't good enough." He wasn't smart enough, or clever enough. He wasn't KIND enough, even though he was kind to her. To me, he wasn't HER COUNTERPART- she, being a beautiful, incredibly intelligent, talented, generous, KIND, fierce woman....he didn't match up. He didn't share her values, or belief system. HE'S A REPUBLICAN. And wanted guns in their home. And had meathead friends. He wasn't MY vision for a man for her....but he wasn't MINE to have a judgement about in the first place.

My pride over protecting her has, at times, almost cost us our friendship.

The other night at 2am- she called me; One of his closest friends was hit by a roadside bomb. He didn't make it. Another, lost his legs. The rest....all wounded. MY HEART instantly started aching.....if something were to happen to him; I could never forgive myself for not trying to MAKE IT RIGHT.

Him and I aren't the same. We'll never share coffee and wax poetic over life. We likely won't vote for them same presidential candidate or fucking American Idol contestant. We likely wont want to drink at the same bars, or share the same Facebook friends. He'll think I'm a weird liberal hippie freak who talks about "energy" too often, and I'll think he's not sensitive enough.
We won't be sharing a broken hearted BFF necklace, but there's one thing we will be sharing; The bottomless LOVE, respect and adoration for the same person. My best friend- his Love.

He (and thousands of others) won't be home for Christmas. Or his birthday. He doesn't get to eat sweet potatoes with perfectly-crispy marshmallow. There won't be that "too-full-to-move" feeling on Thanksgiving, or the sound of silverware clinking on plates and oversize sweaters hugging and feeling the winter-kissed faces of loved ones as they come through the door. He doesn't get to untangle Christmas lights, fill the empty spots on the tree with childhood Popsicle stick ornaments, or watch the clay animation Rudolph, and like it. He won't get to shovel the driveway, turn on the fireplace, or watch the last leaves fall before everything is desolate and bare. He won't get the perfect eggnog buzz (don't tell me you're not excited for that.) He isn't going to Google where he should toast to his 24th year on Earth, or get to open presents and BE SELFISH for one. full. day. for his Birthday. His birthday will just be SURVIVING.

So, yea- we're different. We're different, but that doesn't mean that I can't try to do SOMETHING to show that- in all of our differences, I respect what he's doing. And he needs a fucking GREAT birthday present, since I can't buy him a shot of Patron and apologize- drunk style.

SO HERE'S THE DEAL:

I'm putting together a book of quotes, stories, pictures, etc. to send to him for his birthday- BUT, I WANT YOUR OLD BLOG POSTS.

Comment with a link, or an email of something you've written- it can be funny, lewd, inspirational, TMI, Happy Birthday, ANYTHING- It doesn't have to pertain to the war, if you're a fashion blogger- send me your favorite quote, or picture, anything. IT'S UP TO YOU.

I want to remind him that there's people out there- people at home, living, working, laughing, etc. that are a reminder to come back, ALIVE and continue on with his life.....a book of LIFE. To entertain, or simply take up some time in his day when he's wishing he were here, safe- behind a computer, wearing tattered sweats and eating a turkey sandwich.



It's never too late to MAKE IT RIGHT. To say sorry. To swallow your pride.
What's holding on to it really doing for you anyway.....? Let it go.

Is there anyone you need to "make it right" with?






89 comments:

krystal said...

love it. send him this: http://holaholla.blogspot.com/2009/10/hope.html

Emily said...

http://thegaygirlsguidetocomingout.blogspot.com/2009/11/if-this-is-what-i-call-home-why-does-it.html

That one's all about stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

What you're doing is good. You should be proud of yourself... I am proud of you! :)

The Odd Duck said...

Ask and ye shall receive Ma'am.

http://theoddduckling.wordpress.com/2009/03/30/forward/

missy. said...

you are a good girl chels.

this is probably the only embarrasing moment i will ever post on my blog.

http://ohmissyme.blogspot.com/2009/08/first.html

Anonymous said...

Thanks Chelsea! You are so brilliantly talented, and yes, I've seen you do some of the attitude things, that you mentioned. But, It just makes me love you, even more. Because you want to learn everything about what makes people, like your best friends love, tick. Yet, your heart hurts and loves and feels soo deeply, that sometimes you can tell what is right, just from that! So, I'd like to tell this young man, that I say THANK YOU, for protecting every one of my family,& friends, from being in the middle of the war, right here. I'm old enough to not let a person's affiliation mark them, for me. I'd need to have more info.I love them all, and I do vote for the one that I FEEL is going to be the best for us.I cannot hate either party, no matter what! If famous Dems and Rebubs can be married, or, be Best Friends, then we can too. So, tell the young man Bless You Boy!!!!

Laura @ Hungry and Frozen said...

SO many people I need to make it right with. Where to even start. Will have a dig through my archives for you :)

Jen said...

It's not much, but it says a lot.

http://goose98.tumblr.com/post/224616806/stayfrosty-themusicexpress

And b-t-dubbs...this post - it's why I love you. You're good people.

Sid said...

Hey. This is such an awesome idea.

From your post I couldn't gather whether you only wanted fellow Americans to send through their links but I'm attaching the url to one of my favourite pieces anyway.
http://verbal-sid.blogspot.com/2008/01/ridge-forrester-wanker.html
It's about how ridiculous soapies are. Hope it makes him laugh.

Kristin Quinn said...

So glad you are doing this!

http://kristinquinn.blogspot.com/2009/09/invisible-dog-walk.html

Ellie said...

Hmmm. Maybe his girlfriend would prefer to visit my blog. But it might give him some ideas about what to do with her when he gets home :)

http://adulterousellie.blogspot.com

FabBlab said...

You're doing something great and I hope he loves it. Sadly, I cannot contribute to this cause as my blog is a mere 5 months old and I try not to write about myself consciously. It's a fashion blog and there's not much I can say to him that'll make him feel better.

I'm proud of you, lady!

DesBisoux said...

your honnesty and passion always take me aback, lady...

here's a post were most of the words are not mine but it makes me laugh...hope it will make him laugh as well...

http://desbisoux-carpediem.blogspot.com/2009/10/man-rules.html

you're a great gal...

Nahl said...

The exact post he needs to read to know that what he's doing is something he should be proud of:
http://girlinthebloggingdepartment.blogspot.com/2009/10/disclaimer-dont-read-if-youre-already.html

And a birthday post:
http://girlinthebloggingdepartment.blogspot.com/2009/10/20-no-more.html

And something on Pakistani women for him to widen his mind to:
http://girlinthebloggingdepartment.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-read-post.html

Secret Agent K said...

LOVE this idea. As the daughter of a Marine I'm cool with anything that makes their tours just a lil bit easier. Don't know if I have anything funny enough to warrant bein sent to the few the proud but whatever I have is yours =)

http://secretagentk.blogspot.com/

GingerMandy said...

i don't think i have anything that is good enough to send someone going through as much as him, but this post of mine always entertains me, so maybe it'll put a smile on his face too -- http://thesassyginger.blogspot.com/2009/08/this-is-what-happens-when-batman-texts.html

or if you'd rather include a birthday one, here's one about my birthday -- http://thesassyginger.blogspot.com/2009/09/999-i-own-it.html

i love what you're doing, i understand how hard it can be to reason with people or see eye to eye with them, but at the end of the day we're all the same and just wanna be loved. :)

Doniree said...

Chelsea, this is a great idea. I love it. And I'd love to participate, so I'll start going through some archives for you :)

Cindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn(ifer) said...

You my dear are... amazing!

I plan on going digging through my small amount of posts but I will find you something! YES I will.

I'm asking a few friends to help too.
We'll send you off an email soon.

Cheryl Ann said...

Love your blog. Been reading a while now, but never commented. My brother is Air Force and will likely be deployed sometime within the next year, so I think what you're doing is amazing...sweet idea.

I am guessing over there they find all kinds of weird shit in their pants/shoes, so here ya go...
http://cherylwittmann.blogspot.com/2008/04/always-check-your-pants.html

Cindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chelsea Talks Smack said...

krystal- thank you!

Emily-Now youve got me singing that song!

The Odd Duck- thanks SIR! A man post! wee!

Missy-perfection

anonymous- Thank you "anonymous" ;) I will pass on the thank you definitely

laura-we all have at least a couple somewhere in our pasts...

jen-thank you Jen :)

sid- YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A FELLOW AMERICAN! EVERYONE IS WELCOME! Thats you sid :)

kristin- thankS!

Elle- i'll send her your way :)

fabblab- ah, even if you're a fashion blog no worries- thanks for the support anyway! If you have a quote or something you like you can send that along instead also.

desbisoux- thank you so much- being honest on here is sort of my therapy....

nahl- YAY THREEE! Thanks lovely!

secret agent- whatever you send is prefect, thank you! My father was a military policeman in the national gaurd when I was kid...

gingermandy- thanks! and you put it pefectly, thats exactly what we're all wanting and looking for; love.

doniree- thank you dearessssst, !!! will look for an email or comment from one of your fabulous posts later :)

cindy- I hope so! Thanks for the links!

jennifer- thank you so much, can't wait to read what you'll send!

cheryl ann- well I'm glad I could take you comment virginity :) Thank you for sending me a link, I'm sure he'll find it amusing lol

cindy- THEY ARE THE WORST!


I CAN'T WAIT TO READ EVERYTHING THAT YOU ALL ARE SENDING ME, THANK YOU!

Jaime said...

This is soo beyond amazing! What a powerful post and realization....

How about some warm apple crisp? http://laviejaime.blogspot.com/2009/10/apple-crisp.html

:)

Liz said...

Such a good idea Chelsea!

Send him this for a good laugh;
http://lizfranco.com/2008/11/comfuckingtastic/

Melissa said...

I am about to send my cousin an e mail. We haven't talked in about a year or so, It's time to make it right... And I'd love to find something to send him. I'll look through my posts tonight.

Brett Alexandra said...

Your posts always move me in some way. I will go searching for a good post of mine:) Not sure how great it will be but I'll try!

Herding Cats said...

What a fabulous idea! I really can't think of a post of mine that's quite worthy enough for this cause, but you are welcome to any of them! This is such a terrific idea...go you!

Rasha @ and this is what she said... said...

I can't think of a post I have written... BUT; My brother in law was injured in Iraq and lost BOTH knee caps, not a day goes by that I am not thankful for his life, and pray for EVERY single soldier... A life is a life, no matter if we don't care for that person or not.... Let him know that he has a huge amount of supports.

repliderium.com said...

I love this post & what you're doing for your friend. here's mine;
http://repliderium.com/good-stuff/i-will-not-marry-your-husband-so-shut-it/

Meghan said...

You're adorable and amazing Chelsea. I'm glad pride got the backseat on this one.

Here's ne that's guaranteed to make him laugh.

http://piratemeghan.blogspot.com/2008/01/state-looks-down-on-sodomy.html

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

jaime- PERFECTION

liz- thank you!

melissa- do it. I'm glad this sort of pushed you to lcik that send button.....it's worth it

brett- thank you so much brett :)

herding- all are worthy! maybe ill have to find one myself!

rasha- i absolutely will, you are absolutely right.

repliderium- thank you so much :)

meghan- thank you, isnt always easy to do!

Julie said...

What a fantastic idea.
http://ohjulieanna.blogspot.com/2009/07/thank-you.html

There's a bit I wrote about someone who helped me when I was going through hell.

Jamie said...

my old roomie wrote this and I always find myself returning to it:

http://soomoon.blogspot.com/2009/07/more-i-know-less-i-understand-and-all.html

also, peopleofwalmart.com is always good for laughs if you want to send him pictures.

Mi Vida Bonita said...

That is so very sweet of you. I would love to contribute.

http://mizzjenna.blogspot.com/2009/10/always-remember.html

xoxo
Good Luck :)

babywaeli said...

i need to make some things right. especially with some people in this particular post

http://babywaeliblogs.blogspot.com/2009/10/gloomy-gloomy-gloomy-days.html

Sara said...

I hope this helps:

http://journalling-sunsets.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-am.html

Phoenix said...

k, here's three to pick from, and I made sure to make at least one "laugh until you cry" funny. Also, you sending that boy any awesome snacks his way?

1) http://participationmayvaryla.blogspot.com/2008/08/ummthats-good-thing-right.html

2) http://participationmayvaryla.blogspot.com/2009/03/if-my-cat-could-blog.html

3)http://participationmayvaryla.blogspot.com/2009/03/amour-fati.html

As usual - you kick so much ass it ain't even funny.

Laurel said...

what a wonderful thing you are doing!!! This brought tears to my eyes! k Ill go look now.

Laurel said...

a little on love...

http://style-laurel.blogspot.com/2009/11/love-shall-be-our-token.html

a little on life...

http://style-laurel.blogspot.com/2009/09/ive-learned-that-you-can-tell-lot-about.html

SinGal said...

I think more people need to be like you. You don't understand why we are the way we are. Why we want guns in our house, or why we have meet head friends, but you respect the fact that we do.

Thank you for this post! Thank you for commenting on mine. Thank you for supporting THIS troop and your friend.

I might have to do a blog post just for this. I will come back and link it, once I do.

bananas. said...

chelsea, first of all...fuckin well said. your first paragraph sounded like me...to a tee!

second of all, i think this is such a sweet idea. you are a good person for sucking it up and looking at the overall picture. i want to participate except i don't know what post to give you so i'll have to think about it.

The Socialite said...

Great, great idea!

My link:
http://vanessasrunway.blogspot.com/2009/03/me-vs-thursday.html

Sadie said...

Personally I have nothing to thank for since its not my country's war, so I can't make an honest commentary, but i truly loved the post and what you're doing and he must feel really sad all alone so I'll contribute with this...

http://sexysadiee.blogspot.com/2009/08/lets-be-free-trust-me-do-you-see-my.html

ema.leigh said...

I just *love* deep posts like this. ;)

Jules said...

Think he likes zombies??

http://meangirlgarage.blogspot.com/2009/10/zombie-gifts-for-zombie-lovers-in-your.html

Elle said...

This is so amazing - I barely have words to describe how great this idea is. And how you're going beyond yourself to make things right...I seriously got chills reading this blog. If there is room, I'd love for the below post to be included in your book. It's about my oath ceremony when I officially became a citizen. I cannot stress enough how thankful I am to those who fight for our country and freedom; without them, I would not be here today.

http://ladytellsall.blogspot.com/2009/03/on-being-american.html

Let us all know how it turns out!!

Diana said...

maybe this!
http://www.ourcitylights.org/2009/09/10-cm.html

you are a tough cookie for this. swallowing our egos is the bravest thing we can do for ourselves.

f.B said...

there was this time i adopted a cheetah...

http://francobeans.com/2009/03/31/i-will-planet-that-animal/


but really: great idea. great reason.

CDP said...

Such a great post. I don't have a link, but you should tell him how many people are thinking about him and his fellow soldiers and Marines.

Katelin said...

i definitely need to make it right with one of my friend's wife, we've never gotten along and i hope someday we truly will not be fake to each other.

this is a great idea.
and this post made me giggle a little, why i couldn't be a criminal:
http://www.prettysandyfeet.com/2009/08/why-i-couldnt-be-criminal.html

Anonymous said...

this: http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/02/the-cutest-deadly-sin/

Leila said...

"Never Ever Surrender... except to the one you love" -Harry Nicholas Moore.

Randi Lee said...

Thanks for stopping by my little blog! I'm sooo glad you did, because I am now in LOVE with yours! :-)

Cassandra Marie said...

Just wanted to tell you that I love how blunt and honest you are lol! Anyways, just wanted to stop by and say hello!

jessalyn said...

i dont have a blog post to share- however, i felt that you were just talking about my bf in that post.i am lucky enough to have him home now, he was in afghanistan with the airforce for over a year- as was his best friend- but with the army. i am grateful that they both made it home safe- and i pray that your friends bf does too.
i wish i had my own post to share but props to you for doing this- and major props to him for his service.
i would recommend anything from http://www.martinisordiapergenies.com/
the girl is freaking hilarious!

Rachael said...

Good for you. I know how hard it can be to swallow your pride. These are some words I've cherished, I hope he can relate:

http://rae-does-contiki.blogspot.com/2009/09/cherished-words.html

nicoleantoinette said...

Girl, I'm PROUD OF YOU. Obviously we've talked about this before, and please take any post of mine you want.

Abby B. said...

I must say, I find you fabulous. And liberal hippie freaks are my people.

feel free to take ANY of my blog posts. you rock, girl.

erin said...

sometimes it takes someone else's story to put things in perspective...
so thanks for sharing your story!

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Midtown Girl said...

Excellent idea chickie:

This site is one of my faves - I linked it on one of my posts!

http://www.midtowngirl.com/2009/05/comic-relieffunniest-site-ever.html

XOXO
Amy

Adorably Distracted... said...

You are so right and have really taught me a lot! I wish I could find something... if you see any posts you think are worth sending let me know!

erinuncensored said...

awww. thats so great of you. i will be sure to write something and send you the link!

JKreids said...

Chelsea -- this one is for you. I'm dating the guy my friends wouldn't exactly pick for me but it WORKS and he loves me and that makes sense. I understand how you feel about your BFF's bf but she will always see him differently than you.
http://sideeyeintervention.blogspot.com/2009/07/better-than-wine-is-your-love.html


These posts are for him:
http://sideeyeintervention.blogspot.com/2009/07/rinse-lather-repeat.html

http://sideeyeintervention.blogspot.com/2009/07/round-two.html

Sophie said...

This is such a sweet and gorgeous thing to do for your friends boyfriend. I hope you get the book sorted out, i'm sorry I can't think of any quote or post for you to include but if i think of something i will be sure to leave you a comment because I think this is such a sweet thing to do. xo
teacups-and-saucers.blogspot.com

Jenni said...

Your posts always give me so many emotions after. There are a few people I need to make it right with. I feel the same way that you did about a friend's boyfriend. I just don't like him, don't think he's good enough. But after reading this and learning how your stubborn behind can forgive and move on, maybe I'll try to do the same. That doesn't mean we will be buds, or even facebook friends, anytime in the near future but I guess we could maybe say more then "hey" next time we're at the same bar. Thanks for the motivation to move forward!

This is a great thing you're doing for him. I've linked below a few posts you might find interesting (hopefully).
http://www.jenrem.com/2009/10/didnt-you-know-never-leave-keys.html
OR
http://www.jenrem.com/2009/09/911.html
OR if he likes baseball:
http://www.jenrem.com/2009/09/my-detroit-tiger-favorites.html
OR any posts from this series:
http://www.jenrem.com/search/label/Words%20of%20Wisdom

Liya said...

you are such an incredible writer and your post deeply touched me

thanks for the comment on my blog, girl! i am 100% following you nowww

and here's one of my fave posts
http://myglitteringcreation.blogspot.com/2009/10/we-live-on-fascination.html

one that kinda offered a glimpse into my nerdy life

xo

Winnie said...

I can't think what I could contribute but may have to return to leave a link...

But I do think that you're pretty amazing for doing this...especially for someone you've never seen eye to eye with. You're a true friend!

Diana Elizabeth said...

I love this. What a fantastic way to extend the olive branch. I'll look through my archives & hopefully find something worthwhile!

Diana Elizabeth said...

I love this. What a fantastic way to extend the olive branch. I'll look through my archives & hopefully find something worthwhile!

Meeks said...

This is amazing and I will be sending something your way this weekend to contribute. Fantastic idea.

Dustjacket Attic said...

I love how honest you are about yourself, I can relate to this post.

I love the idea of what you are doing and respect it, good on you.

If you have seen any of my posts that you think are suitable please feel free to link it ... (i think they are all too girlie, but maybe there is one you like.)

take care,
xxx

Penny Lane said...

your blog is lovely. thanks for your comment, ^^
have a delightful weekend

PL ♥

Trouble.Thinks said...

Cool idea Chelsea.

Tell him to watch out for those spiders!!! ;)

http://troublethinks.blogspot.com/2009/05/filthy-rats.html

james said...

hey chelsea i love it thank u

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

JAMES- you're welcome, look at all the people that are thinking of you :) book to come. HUGS and love.

GUGAW said...

wow sounded like you were describing me in those first few paragraphs.....


so i can imagine how strongly you must feel about this to want to pull together this collection. it's not much, but maybe this might help

http://gugaw.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-found-rabbit.html

Elizabeth Marie said...

You're fabulous. Let me look through my posts about broken hearts and high heels haha and find something...

Natalie said...

ohhh HIIIII you are the pre-LDS version of myself. let's be best friends.

ps i love liberal hippies. and this blog. i think we could be of the same people. just maybe.

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Midtown Girl said...

Have an award for you ;-)

Project D-list said...

I'm not impressed. You are learning that you should not be such a harsh judge of character based on your own political leanings and interests. Sounds like you were pious and needed to come down from your roost. I am glad you are turning it around. This world is made up of people with all sorts of mindsets, some are conservative, some are liberal. If you surround yourself with people who only endorse your opinions, you will never really be challenged. Life should be balanced. Perhaps he should open up to more radical thinking, but it sounds like you needed to temper yours.

Hiding Myself From Me said...

Cool Post...I'll add a joke.

http://hidingmyselffromme.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-could-eat-peach-for-hours-nicholas.html

indigotangerine said...

this is a wonderful idea. You manage to be hilariously bitchy and good hearted at the same time. My words are not that inspiring, but you can send him this painting i did:
http://indigo-umbrella.blogspot.com/2009/04/k-learning-how-to-fly.html
-indigo

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

project dlist- well, yes, that's exactly what this post was admitting. Not everyone around me shares me same beliefs, I like a person with opinions that differ from mine- I like to be challenged, I enjoy a good debate. THIS particular situation wasn't that simple, it's a bit more complicated than, "I just dont like your politics" its my best friend, its her life, someone i love- so. my stubborness was a bit more fierce. AND YES. I needed to come down.....so I AM.

like I said- that's what this post is about.

Chloé said...

http://seanandchloe.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-would-you-do.html

or this

http://seanandchloe.blogspot.com/2009/08/broken.html

good luck! i think its awesome your doing this!

Jodes said...

That's really sweet.
And who knows maybe your hippie lovin' will rub off on him a little - one can always dream, right?

Those are two of the hardest things to do - realize that you can't protect people forever and taking people for what they are.

i totally had to do that last year - a girl who had been nothing but sweet to me and was probably one of the kindest, most generous friends i've ever had was cut out of my life for really shallow reasons. she was 'too preppy', 'too consumeristic', 'too immature' - really i was the one who was being too judgemental, too self-rightous, and too shallow.

thanks for the compliments!
love the blog, babe.

ps - "Load the ship and set out. No one knows for certain whether the vessel will sink or reach the harbor. Cautious people say, "I'll do nothing until I can be sure". Merchants know better. If you do nothing, you lose. Don't be one of those merchants who wont risk the ocean."
-Rumi

abrandname said...

I find this post to be very eye opening. LOL

http://abrandname.blogspot.com/2009/09/birth-control-for-young-women.html

I love what you do and how you do it.

Margaret said...

I don't know that I have anything to add but I will go through my archives and see what I can find or try to come up with an appropriate quote.

Be sure to thank him.

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