Monday, November 16, 2009

I'm gonna lose my shit for FIVE SECONDS


"TALKS SMACK" that is in my name- and since I rarely, GO THERE, I decided I should. Also, I'm writing for SmakNews.com, twice a day you can see smack talking of mine on all things pop culture, sex, relationships- all that good stuff. As well as articles like THESE. If you like TMZ, PerezHilton, Pinkisthenewblog.com- you'll love Smaknews. Without out further adieu.......


I’d like to take a few minutes to cry, out loud for Miss. Carrie Prejean, for the conservative party (since she’s making you all look even more terrible) and, for blonde people ( though I love you, she’s making all you hot blonde's look terrible too- by association). In fact, let’s all cry together, for humanity. There hasn’t been a single woman that I’ve despised more since Sarah Palin, so it’s no shocker that she would would “love” and I quote, Sarah Palin and her equally fucked political ideals.

After a week long PR campaign in accordance with her new book
Still Standing, which, in my opinion would sell more copies had it been aptly titled Down on my Knees, Carrie has been making a mockery of herself on nearly every media outlet from Today, to Larry King Live where she stormed off the show for Larry asking “inappropriate” questions, i.e. INTERVIEWING her, like he’s supposed to do. Carrie said to Meredith Viera of the Today show, “The biggest thing and the reason I wrote this book is Americans believe their beliefs are under attack, and this is proof,” adding that the sex tape is another example of what her enemies will do to attack her. She goes on to say,”.... it’s unfortunate that conservative women are attacked for their beliefs. It’s unacceptable and it shouldn’t happen. So many Americans are frustrated.”

Their beliefs? Their beliefs that don’t support WOMEN, or
love, or FAMILY, but rather the opposite. How about the gay couples who want to raise a child and have equal rights if one of them passes, to their posessions, family, etc- (when my Bampa who was gay passed away, he was left with NOTHING, even though him and his partner were together for 30+ YEARS and their home, belongings, etc. were rightfully HIS) if they aren’t given those rights, their family could be torn apart and that- is not what my God, or my country would want to do. For “those women” let’s make one thing clear, being AGAINST gay marriage, or the woman's right to chose, is only being against half of the world you’re living in- which in turn, creates more strife, more hatred, more discontent. THOSE WOMEN, are not the American women that our little sisters, daughters and youth should be looking up to.

But I digress....the hypocrisy that is Carrie Prejean ensues, she said, writing, “Our bodies are temples of the Lord. We should earn respect and admiration for our hearts, not for showing skin to look sexy.”

OH, the hilarity, gag me- or wait,
gag you. So, I’m assuming Carrie was possessed by the Devil when she created her X-rated sex tape? That according to Nik Richie of TheDirty.com, was “very graphic” so much so, he didn’t even want it. Oh Carrie, the price you don’t get paid for being a raunchy, fame-mongering whore. So what does she do? She turns that sex tape into an “underage” sex tape, because nothing outrages conservatives, and people alike more than an “innocent 17 year old who was taken advantage of and didn’t know any better” right Carrie? Please, keep denying responsibility- it's proving your ignorance.

Wonder what she'll say to her ex-boyfriend—the one who dropped the bombshell sex tape—when she hears he told TMZ that she urged him to "lie" and say she was 17 in the raunchy video. He claims, however, to have received the tape in 2007, when she was 20-years-old. Aren’t there any quotes in the Bible about being HONEST? Truth? No? Did Jesus skip those details? Didn’t think so.


For
REAL women of faith, or for real conservative women who actually have a functional brain inside their heads- no party would want to claim Carrie, because she defames even their beliefs. At least with the settlement she’s taken from pageant officials, (who would like their $5,200 dollars back for your breast implants, no I’m not kidding this is an actual lawsuit), she can buy a bottle of Prozac when the only people showing up at her book signings are men clutching their penis in one hand and Googling “Carrie Prejean Sextape, FREE” with the other. Even they wouldn’t pay to see you give a blow job. Go on with your conservative activism Carrie, the only people listening are picturing you naked.



SO- What do YOU think about Carrie Prejean?

Or, if you could give a flying EFF, which celebrity do you wish had a sex tape? :)

59 comments:

Jay Ferris said...

You know what's hilarious? The Google ad running under this post is for Sarah Palin.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

HA! Well, I plan on watching the interview- I'm sure she'll continue to give me reasons to loathe her.

Herding Cats said...

I'd like to smack her across the face. She is so irritating. Someone needs to make her STOP!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Herding cats- let's go BANSHEEE on her ass!

Feelmore said...

So, I’m assuming Carrie was possessed by the Devil when she created her X-rated sex tape? That according to Nik Richie of TheDirty.com, was “very graphic” so much so, he didn’t even want it.

Love this part. Part of the reason why I just gave you the Over-The-Top award on my blog. :)

www.sayhellomax.blogspot.com

Kim said...

Thank you for saying it better than I did on my blog. Lordy I loathe her.

roysie said...

People will do anything for fame. This whole scenario makes me sad... same with that "balloon boy" ordeal. America, what is going on?

missy. said...

chelsea lately [i've noticed us chelsea's have to stick together] was smack talking her last night. i can't believe this girl is even allowed on tv! probably just for us to make fun and mock her. poor girl.. shoulda quit while she was ahead.

Just A Girl said...

She is so. effing. dumb. I can't even look at her face without being overcome by loathing. I really wish she'd just go away, because the longer she stays in the spotlight, the worse she looks.

brittany said...

i would absolutely love to smack her in the face...i cannot stand the bitch. the most hypocritical, mouthy, condescending person in the spotlight right now. i even loathe her more than speidi. UGHHH.

Vanessa said...

It's really tragic that there are women out there who undermine so much of the women's rights movement of the last hundred years. Did they miss the memo or something?
But what I find more discouraging, is the continued interest the public has in the lives of these completely incompetent and ridiculous individuals. Not only does giving them attention encourage them, but side tracks the normal population from doing something worthwhile with their time.

Jess said...

I'm pretty sure the Lord doesn't want silicone bags filled with saline in his temple, sweetheart.

(Not that I wouldn't love some boobies, but I hope I wouldn't ramble on about purity and vanity and Godliness while my sex tape played in the background)

LiLu said...

Your smack is my favoritest kind of smack.

reinventingamy said...

I don't know why people pay attention to her. Seriously- what is she even rambling on about and why should anyone care? Her five mins of fame were up long before they started. She needs to go away.

Jaime said...

Have no idea why we (the media/society) is talking about her! Though I actually feel bad for her- she needs to just get out of the spotlight.

Phoenix said...

This girl makes me want to throw up, A LOT. Damn hypocrites. I'd say Carrie should put her money where her mouth is...but I don't want to know where either of those has been.

JUST ME said...

Sarah Palin and that chick should get together and make a porn.

I'm sure it'd be the highest grossing porn ever. Emphasis on the GROSSing.

Eponine said...

I pretty much live under a rock, so I've never heard of her.

BUT, I did want to step in and agree with what you are saying about the whole not-supporting-a-womans-right-to-choose thing.

I apologize if I'm offending anyone, & I'm not looking to start trouble, but I honestly cannot believe any woman in her right mind would be pro-life.

Yes, the murder of an unborn child is a terrible thing. I don't LIKE the idea of it, and I don't condone abortions as a form of birth control just because you were too lazy to(insert whatever excuse you want).

But for a woman to deny herself such an important right? I just can't help but think they believe if a woman is with child it's always HER fault and it's HER responsibility to LIVE WITH IT. It's like they hear about incest and rape, and think "Oh, that wouldn't happen to me... just some girl who was asking for it."

Pro-life just doesn't make sense to me. Just because you're pro-choice doesn't mean you're a heartless baby killer, it means you want to have a CHOICE in your own LIFE should the unthinkable happen.

*sigh*

::gets off soapbox::

Jodes said...

A-FRAKING-MEN.
stupid women drive me NUTS - if you want to be respected, if you want to be in the spotlight - DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH. learn a few new words more than one syllable and close your mouth at the end of a word. not sounding stupid is probably one of the easiest and least time consuming tasks - and it's most effective in keeping you in the spotlight and keeping you relevant.
and, you know actually being able to form an opinion is usually a bonus. like, deciding whether you want to be empowered or turn guys on with your fake rack and then protest everything that is the result of this.
EVERYTHING ABOUT HER ANGERS ME.
uggghhh

Angela said...

Wait wait wait. Why the fuck was she the former Miss California if she thinks showing skin is wrong???? SUCH a hypocritical statement.

That one girl said...

You know, I kinda like her like I like Heidi and Spencer, she KNOWS what is going to bring her the most fame and fortune just like lamos, Speidi. At one point you have to wonder, are they SERIOUS?!?!

I think not, but we watch her, loathe her and she scores more appearances and rakes in the dough.

Is she the lame ones or are we, ya know?

I think it's all part of their master money plan and we can't take our eyes off the wreck...

nicoleantoinette said...

She's just. I mean. I can't even. No, just no. To her. YES to everything you wrote.

Kristin said...

It amazes me the people whose fifteen minutes run waaaaaaaaaaay too long!

Stevie said...

Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea. We should be best friends.

And I wouldn't mind a Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale sex tape. I have a mad girl crush on her, and Gavin is one of the most gorgeous men to ever grace this planet.

DesBisoux said...

i guess she has not made it yet over here, on the other side of the pond. but if she's the same kind as Palin...*gagging noise*

even when i don't know who you're talking about, it's always a real pleasure to read you.

and sex tape are a bit cliche now, no?

keep the smack talk flowing, i love it!

Kez said...

One word: moron.

Tara said...

It truly is hilarious that the ad on this post is advertising for Sarah Palin's book.

I agree with a lot of your points- my mother is gay and it pisses me off that people think she doesn't deserve the same rights as me or someone else just because of who she loves.

SJ said...

I absolutely despise Carrie Prejean. What a hypocrite.

iheartkiwi said...

it makes you wonder about the state of humanity sometimes...

i think i might just donate my television to charity and forget the whole mess.

tee said...

She's a failure in every sense of the word.

She made comments that she had to know everyone wasn't going to agree with and then cried about her freedom of speech being challenged when people criticized her remarks.

I'm sorry, I missed the part when your freedom of speech became more important than the next person's.

If you can make dumbass comments I can call you out on your dumbass comments.

The worst part is, you can't even get a good laugh out of the whole thing. It's that irritating.

chelsina said...

Yes I remember seeing your tweet about miss prejean or whatever her name is. I agree completely, she is an idiot, it's hard for me to imagine what's going on in that little mind of hers. get off your soap box lady! I mean, no one cares about sarah palin anymore, and I'm sure the same will happen to former miss california. It's about their 15 seconds of fame and they'll die & shrivel up somewhere and become big jokes in time. Isn't it ironic she would preach about the body being a temple, but allow herself to go under the knife and prance around selling her temple for the camera? and the sex tape? Well, all i can say is she makes for great white trash! she sucks.

Suburban Sweetheart said...

Nothing she ever says makes any sense at all. In so many ways, she's actually disgustingly fascinating, in a painfully Palinesque way. Of COURSE Sarah Palin sounds intelligent and strong to her! How can two such dumb women cause such a ruckus?

Meghan said...

I'm normally opposed to violence, but wouldn't be against a fight to the death against Sarah Palin and Carrie Whatsherface.

the "L" spot said...

Oprah. very much so. Is that weird? its ok.

Clau! said...

thanks for your comment in my blog ;)

Saludos,
Clau!

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything that you said! Bravo...And,I did watch the interview with Oprah, and I thought that she handled it well( Oprah).Actually, I really did not think that Palin was so bad either.The one thing that I did notice , is that ,both women were respectful of each other.As long as people treat one another with respect, in spite of the differences,like George Bush, Sr. and Bill Clinton( who are good friends), we can make it through this crazy world, with out too much grief.Fighting is just for those of us who do not sacrifice to serve their country, either in Politics or War.

Meeks said...

Heinous. And the Palin ads on your blog are making me gag.
Now. I wish Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson had a sex tape...with me. That is all.

Miss Angie said...

I SO COMPLETELY AGREE! Well put! I'm going to link you in my blog today I think!

repliderium.com said...

Wait- you said "sex tape" as in singular. Apparently she was possessed by the devil on multiple occasions......
She makes my head want to blow up. She is also the poster child for why most people (myself included) want no association with organized religion.
Fucking hypocritical intolerant bimbette.

Melissa said...

Amen...

Kelly said...

I think she's a spoiled brat. And she cannot do an interview to save her ass. I was amazed at how she was so crass, crude and condescending to the executive producer. She is a hypocrite when I heard that more than 7-8 more of her "acting" films were discovered I nearly smiled.
She needs etiquette lessons plain and simple and another thing she needs to learn that not everything revolves around her. The Larry King interview was just outright hilarious because she couldn't answer the damn questions.

Anonymous said...

Can we put her and Speidi on an island somewhere?!?!? Please?!?! Or in the BIG SANDBOX!!! PLEASE?!?!?

You Are My Fave said...

She is so annoying. She wrote the book to make money. Period.

sarah marie p said...

That woman is out of control. Yikes. That Larry King interview was painful!

And you are totally right -- she need stop making blondes look dumb! Not cool, lady!

{megs in wonderland} said...

lets cut her, and that palin bitch. you down?

i love your attitude, it makes me happy.

Trixie Firecracker said...

LOL, the one running on the side of this page is for Ann Coulter. Go figure.

The Odd Duck said...

I actually remember you answering me on Twitter the day after the "inappropriate" interview with Larry King on why everyone was so angry. Then I saw it myself again.

Wow.

It's times like this that I'm reminded forcibly that Christianity has some true idiots in the midst.

I do what I want! said...

I love it when Chelsea talks smack ;)

I agree with you on this post!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

GOD, I love that all my readers agree- I was certain i'd get some angry comments defending her antics on this one. Cheers to having brilliant bloggers in my blogosphere!

Tia said...

it's even worse if you know her.

B said...

this is great. love it.

ChasingParadise said...

For one, I love it when you do some smack talking. It really gets me riled up! Also, love the picture you chose for this post. It shows her at her most natural - a dumbass.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

tia- do you know her? AH!

Caylee said...

I am thrilled that there are 53 comments of hatred towards Carrie Prejean! Haha she probably wants to crawl under a rock and disappear forever now, because all of the shit she's been getting. I'd personally prefer her to stick around... so I'd always have someone to rant about wanting to dropkick, you know?

liadaniele said...

Love love love this. I keep being told that I shouldn't let her get to me this much. HELLO?! She is all up in my face and everyone elses! Preach!

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