Well, I'm DRINKING THE KOOL-AID.

Denver, is officially my home.

The manager at Starbucks knows my name, he even makes nice comments on my hair when it's different (he's trying to pedal me pumpkin scones, but I forgive him), i.e. messy bun, unshowered. My yoga instructors know me, "NIIIIICE adjustments Chelsea" and the guy at Brakes Plus remembered my name when I went in for a routine oil change yesterday. I have "favorite" bars, breakfast joints and driving paths. It's creeped up on me like a stretch mark and sure enough, there it is- Denver is HOME.

Yesterday was brilliant. If you haven't read 4 Hr. Work Week, you absolutely should- and if you refuse to apply it, then you may as well cut off your feet, down a bottle of Advil, or sleep all day- or something equally debilitating.

After an incredible yoga practice, "dancer's pose" toes overhead and all, I read this book from front to back and did one exercise that changed my perspective on everything, called DREAMLINING , where you target your yearly, monthly, DAILY income for your DESIRED lifestyle. You want to install a stripper pole in your home? Google the cost, write it down. You want to own a fucking Wombat? Google the cost, write it down. You want a 4 million dollar home? Write it down. Or maybe, you'd just like to have a condo and a weekly manicure, whatever is IDEAL to you.

His philosophy is that "GOALS HAVE TO BE UNREALISTIC TO BE EFFECTIVE" if everyone is applying for option A. because it's closest to them and most "realistic" the competition is likely the fiercest, and the number of people shooting for option Z. at the very tip-top are a smaller percentage. "Ninety-nine percent of people in the world are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for the mediocre." thus, realistic goals are harder to achieve.

SO- obviously, being the fame hungry, wine-cellar-desiring, travel-eager, gypsy whore that I am, I found out, occurring to my "IDEAL LIFESTYLE" that I need to be making 2 GRAND, A DAY. I also took advantage, of the word "ideal" and took a faux shopping spree on Nordstrom's, to see how much money I'd actually drop there. Then, I took a faux trip to Turks and Caicos, but those are all just little details... I maybe bought a case of Cakebread wine too, maybe.

Go on, scoff, call me greedy, or ridiculous. I find ridiculous people fairly grand.

The point is this exercise taught me what my DAILY GOAL should be, to cut the FAT, to stop waisting time and being afraid of ASKING FOR WHAT I WANT. To the leave the bullshit for the bulls. Ya dig? AND, to just trust your unrealistic desires exist for a reason, they serve you.

Being reminded of all this ACTUALLY, calmed me- made me let go and enjoy the present of the process.....as in; the outcome is already decided according to your belief, so let it be.

This morning, after enjoying my existence yesterday-embracing my HOME, living in the small moments of banter with Starbucks employees about egg sandwiches and weather..... I woke up to two incredible emails, not only actualizing some of the monetary value that I need (not nearly 2 grand, but I'll pose for Playboy to get there, ahhhh... I KID, I KID) but actualizing more of what I BELIEVE IN, all that "UNREALISTIC" bullshit.

Even though I can't always see the "light," at the end of a seemingly endless tunnel, I DO appreciate where I AM.

I appreciate that the manager at Starbucks knows my name- after years of nameless existence in big cities, where I'd spend evenings having "incredible" conversation and laughter with "new friends" that would LITERALLY not know who I was a week later, chatting with mechanics makes MY DAY.

I spent days, years, of my life trying to feel important to people that didn't even SEE ME. And now, not only will I refuse to do that, I also refuse to try fitting into "realistic", because I'M NOT. I'm not realistic. I told my Momma I wanted to be a "fairy" when I grew up, I believed I was invincible to car accidents and would "flick away," and I am convinced that 2grand, a day, is not out of reach. In fact, maybe I'm shooting too low.

If one person has done it, so can I.

WHAT IS YOUR "UNREALISTIC" GOAL????