Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The first cohabitation debacle: PEANUT BUTTER


"I brought you your favorite peanut butter hunny!"

.....er....I stare at the peanut butter, it says JIF. Jif? No. No, I'm a Creamy Skippy girl, always have been and always will be. Not the little jar, the BIG jar of Skippy.

Buying the little jar is like slapping the peanut butter God's directly in the face and saying, "I will use you in moderation."

Horrible.

....he can see it on my face, "Isn't this your favorite peanut butter?"

Oh hell. Do I tell the sweet man he made a mistake, or do I live for the rest of our life as a couple hating the peanut butter that he buys, while he celebrates inside for doing such a good deed and being so observant, or so he thinks. Motherfucker. I'll tell him. .....let the wounded puppy face ensue. He took the news better than expected, but dear God, breaking it to him felt like punching a baby in the mouth.

Since we moved in together almost two weeks ago, we've had to adjust to; sharing covers, sharing food, compromising on brands and deciding whether we should be a Shoes-on, or shoes-off sort of house?

Luckily we haven't even had the toilet paper argument yet. We've been stealing it from public bathrooms. Actually, I don't know if that's true. But, a roll at a time miraculously appears on the dispenser, just when we're almost out.... toilet paper angels, I'm convinced. Especially during the holidays, when bathroom trips are more frequent thanks to copious amounts of Eggnog running through my bladder, or holiday party hangovers running liquids up various orifices. It's the angels. Or, My Love and I are running an underground "steal toiletries operation" unbeknownst to each other. Ah, communication- damn you again. We could turn this poaching into a business if we'd just put our heads together.

I've also had to adjust to his INTENSE NEED TO SCRAPE HIS TEETH AGAINST THE FORK ANYTIME HE EATS A PIECE OF EFFING. FOOD. Every time.

"Do you NEED to do that when you eat?"
....My Love, "Do what?"
"MAKE THAT FUCKING NOISE."
....My Love, "ARE YOU SERIOUS? That bothers you?....."
"Yes, yes it bothers me. You sound like a caveman. You know making that noise actually requires EXTRA EFFORT, why exert yourself ? It's totally unnecessary. "

Then the conversation turns into something like; "you want me to eat like a Nun in a convent." Or,"you're totally fucking crazy"....then I spew into a monologue about how I'd rather him eat everything with the delicacy of placing a communion wafer in his mouth, than hear his mad eating skills in my presence. Communion. Wafer. Just let is dissolve, suck on that chip until it's liquid. Don't blame me, blame the people who taught me manners.

Being in love means that it isn't always warm fuzzies and polite, adoring words. Sometimes we're insensitive towards each other and we say things that are brash and untactful. We say things that hurt, or seem callous but when expressed we mean it with the best intentions. It's not to be mean for the sake of being mean, at least not in my case. My Love certainly hasn't held back some of the truths about myself I'd rather not hear and Lord knows I haven't had a hard time pointing at the unfavorable qualities he posses.

Having someone look over your flaws with a magnifying glass isn't something we'd volunteer for if it were written out so blatantly when we made the choice to stamp a title on our relationship status. That isn't the fun part, but it IS the part that makes it REAL.

It isn't fun to be told you need to "take it down about a thousand notches," or that what you're toiling away at, isn't WORKING. Sometimes, as someones love, spouse, etc. you're the only one who gets to SEE the parts that are messy and disastrous and you're probably the only person who's allowed to have an opinion on it, without being a total ass. The things we don't always want to hear are often the things that are the most important for us to recognize, or GASP, CHANGE. That's the part makes all the gritty stuff and the times when we want to choke each other with a Christmas garland, totally worth it.





WHAT ARE YOUR PET PEEVES?













123 comments:

Just A Girl said...

Aww, I feel your pain re: the peanut butter. I asked my dad to buy jelly because all we had was blueberry and apricot (which I hate) and he came home with...you guessed it, more blueberry and apricot. I felt so bad telling him that I'm a raspberry kind of girl.

On the plus side, at least your boyfriend is observant enough to know that you HAVE a favorite peanut butter. That's sweet.

Um pet peeves...my boyfriend breathes like he's having an asthma attack all. the. time. Through his nose, even. It's SO GODDAMN LOUD. He also insists that we cuddle facing each other, which is weird, right?

Liz said...

Since moving in together with MY Love I've discovered he possesses the klutz factor of a newborn fawn who's mother smoked crack. Aka he KNOCKS.EVERYTHING.OVER. As a result I have stopped buying glassware and instead buy those psych-out-wannabe-glass tumblers from Target that are actually made of plastic. He still knocks them over but at least this way my feet aren't subjected to shards of glass on the hardwood floors.

The things we do for love.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Just a girl- OH GOD, the breathing....!

and the cuddling facing each other? Hm. Not "weird" per se, but less comfortable.

Sarah Nicole said...

My boyfriend is the same way with scraping his teeth across the fork. I can't even sit near him when eats soup because he scrapes the spoon too!! GAH! So annoying, luckily I have time to fix these things before we end up living together.

verybadcat said...

Trash piles. Candy wrappers, used kleenex, those little biz reply cards that come falling out of magazines.

PICK. IT. UP.

When you get up, throw it out.

Course, now that I'm a single girl, sometimes I wish I had a man in my bed and a trash pile on my coffee table. ;)

My ideal, I suppose, would be having a man in my bed that didn't leave trash piles...

Lisa-Marie said...

Dave leaves stuff everywhere. Most of the time, I point it out, and then end up tidying anyway, as I can't stand the mess. He leaves crumbs or bit of grated cheese, or coffee grounds on the counter as well. and his pants on out tiny bathroom floor.


He makes up for it by buying me Starbars and making me cups of tea though!

Laurnie said...

Gah! I can not stand the scraping of the teeth. And dont even think about clipping your toenails in my presence

olivia rae said...

i LOVE this!!! so true, you always make me feel much more sane.

J. said...

Love leaves a path of..everything in his wake. baseball cap, off and on the couch.... jacket, off and on the chair... one sock off, thrown here and the other off, thrown there... styrofoam cups filled with melted ice/dr pepper mixture are like pieces of art at my house- they would cover EVERY surface if I didn't go behind him picking them up.
It's like he's a tornado, and he leaves a path of destruction in his wake. GRRRR.
(And we don't even live together....)

Aya Smith said...

Awe, this is a fun post!

Pet peeves are easy to obtain over time, and sadly it seems it's always another person's fault! haha ^~^

Ashley said...

Since I'm single I'm just gonna give ya a pet peeve. It's similar to yours...I hate hearing people chew. The sound of chewing wants me to tear my eyeballs out (or theirs) with a fork. Gah its making my skin crawl just thinking about it!

Julie said...

1. loud eaters
2. people who take big bites of food, and then take a huge gulp of drink while the food is still in their mouth...makes me want to die
3. sniffling...go blow your effing nose
4. my ex bf would hang his dirty shirts after we went out, so then i'd forget they were dirty and then he'd make me feel bad for forgetting...put it in the effing hamper!!!!

Hillary said...

We have 2 jars of peanut butter. I can't adjust to his crunchy Skippy and he hates my creamy Jif.

A little Princess said...

Oh.My.God. My cousin BITES HER fork and spoon when she eats. She doesn't grate her teeth against it, she just bites the crockery. I feel your pain.

You got a PB sandwich out of it though?!

xoxo

A little Princess said...

Oh.My.God. My cousin BITES HER fork and spoon when she eats. She doesn't grate her teeth against it, she just bites the crockery. I feel your pain.

You got a PB sandwich out of it though?!

xoxo

Randi Lee said...

Loud chewing... I HATE when I can hear him chew... no matter how soft the food is.

And the fact that he never wipes up the water from the counter when he's done washing dishes or washing his hands... he just lets it sit there! What is that?!?! Grrr...

Jules said...

Repeating sounds. Me having to repeat myself over and over again. People who don't know how to drive. Stupid people. Bad parenting. Stupid people.

Wait, I'm repeating here.

Katie said...

My ex, two of my boyfriend's past roommates and our current roommate ALL smack when they eat. I dated the ex for over a year, and finally had to have a conversation with him (which turned into several conversations with him) about good table manners and how eating with your mouth closed is something everyone over the age of 4 should know to do. (I also had to explain to him why licking your plate at a formal dinner--or ANY dinner--is bad form. Unbelievable. There's a reason why he's an ex.) I can't say anything to the roommates, but good god if I don't want to yell at them every time they start making that "smack, smack, smack" sound when they eat. YYYYUUUUCCCKKKK!!!

Other pet peeves: slow drivers in the left lane, the way my mom asks me the same question a hundred times, people who let their children run wild in public places that aren't McDonald's, and poor manners in general.

The only thing Kellen does that really bothers me is that he's the worst backseat driver. He gets onto me for things he does himself, too, which just makes me #$*&@^!!! Considering we've been dating/living together off and on for 5 years, I think it's pretty miraculous that that's the only thing he does that really drives me up a wall.

Brooke said...

Never understood how anyone could eat anything besides Smooth Skippy. I'm happy to hear that we're on the same page about this one.

My pet peeve: His ridiculous road rage. So obnoxious.

leftfoot said...

My DH didn't tell me he didn't like his eggs over easy for 6 years. :-)

Genie of the Shell said...

Eating off the floor, like a dog, and then trying to kiss me with tongue, like a dog.

Before I LIVED with him, I didn't KNOW he did this. And I can't make him stop, so I have to keep the floor really clean if I don't want some kind of shoe bacteria in my mouth.

Other than that, his hygiene is impeccable. WTF? It's like some men feel religiously about the three-second rule.

Leah said...

Living together will make you aware of each others' idiosyncrasies...but it's a good way to know each other more. You learn to accept the faults and shortcomings, you learn to compromise.

So you are just in week two, I expect more funny stories from you. Hahaha!

JUST ME said...

My man and I just had a talk tonight about how moving in together would really just be a financially smart thing...we're so romantic.

Ben said...

Fate has paired my devil-may-care attitude with a chronic recycler and energy saver. My life is a constant battle to justify why I would like a single lightbulb on around me at all times.

Herding Cats said...

Be prepared for more and more annoyances to come! Sometimes you just have to take a step back and say, "I need to pick my battles."

My pet peeves? He leaves crap everywhere and opens all the windows when it is FREEZING out!

Ams said...

Oh my goodness, I am dying. Seriously DYING over here.
Peanut butter... huge.
Scraping teeth on fork... huge.

My pet peeve is the toilet seat being left up. I hate it!
Ummmm... oh and when socks are taken off either inside out or in a hall. I HATE THAT!

Macaron Treats ♥♥ said...

one of my pet peeves is noisy eaters and people with no table manners! arg gets me everytime!
Fab post, heaps interesting!
xxx

Minus75 said...

I feel your pain for sure. For my last birthday my sweet bought me a painting he was assured by my friend that I would love. I hated it and he knew it the minute I laid eyes on it. It took me two days to tell him though and I was fighting back tears I felt so horrible. And this was MY BIRTHDAY present.

Pet Peeve? Gum smacking, popping and chewing open mouthed. Especially over the phone.
Drives me demented.

Oh, and friends who give husbands direction on what to give me. We've been together 20 years, if you aren't sure, don't buy it.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

just me- we need to have a convo, happy hour- drinks? something? session very soon!

Amy --- Just A Titch said...

The loud eating, gum chewing, CEREAL EATING BECAUSE OMFG HOW MUCH MILK DOES ONE NEED IN A BOWL? I've had to come to terms with my own annoying habits (piling all my shit on the couch) too because my boyfriend doesn't deal, either. It's been a learning experience, for sure---but the best one ever.

Danielle said...

Gulping after drinking. Seriously, is it necessary to make that ridiculous "ahhhhh" sound after swallowing your drink as hard and loud as you possibly can?

brookem said...

i love your posts because they're always so REAL and i can relate to them so fucking much.
real life, real LOVE is messy and complicated sometimes. that's the truth.

my pet peeves? the way he (anyone really) chews gum.

Allison Blass said...

Even though I don't live with my boyfriend, I don't think there's too much that will surprise me when we move in. We spend our entire weekends together - every weekend together - so there's not much that I haven't witnessed. But there are definitely things he does that bug me, and think that's a general relationshippy thing, not just a living-together bit. Though I'm sure they become even more heightened when you're around them ALL THE TIME. But I think it's sweet that he even tried to getting you your fave peanut butter and I bet now that you've told him, he'll NEVER forget.

Cheers,
Allison

Doniree said...

Haha. Brash. Haha.

And I don't have pet peeves. Yet. I'm sure we will and when we do, I'll let you know ;)

And honey? If you're reading this? You're perfect and there are no peeves.

(I just wrote that because I know he'll read this.)

Mandy said...

Its better that you told him about the peanut butter.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

i'm glad ot see that i'm not the only one who is irritated by EATING NOISES.

Doniree- um, that comment was freaking cute.

penny threads. said...

lol! great post. i don't feel so bad about my boyfriend and i's lil' spats over such things. my pet peeves are chewing with mouth open...ugh. and also how he never washes his dinner dish. just sets it by the sink and walks away. grrr. but i love him. :D *shrugs*

my name is lauren. said...

my husband ALWAYS leaves the toilet seat up. we've been married two years and despite my best efforts he still leaves it up. i've finally come to the conclusion that it's always going to be up and i just need to pick my battles and realize it's not that big of a deal. but it's SUPER annoying.

also...he chews with his mouth open...when he's really hungry and eating fast.

gross.

but i love him. and i'm beyond certain i'm a royal pain in the ass half the time so it sort of evens out.

good luck with figuring out all the quirks :).

Sahakiel said...

Thank you for your comment!!

Oh my, you know? I haven't eat peanut butter... but I don't like peanuts, hahaha!

But I must agree with Just A Girl; at least your boyfriend know that you've got a favourite peanut butter, that's a good point about him!

xoxo,
Libs

Rasha (andthisiswhatshesaid) said...

this is HILARIOUS. I love this post.... boyfriend and I do this too.. and OMG HE DOES THE SAME EFFING THING WITH SCRAPING HIS FORK... drives me INSANE!

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Aunt Becky said...

Dave's roving colony of socks that manage to multiply by a factor of two every day. They roam about the house with the express purpose, I'm pretty sure, of annoying me.

Also, Dave chews SO LOUDLY that I want to KILL HIM.

Sherri said...

The Truck. Well, his truck, but it's "THE" truck around us. It's been a pain in my side since the day we drove off of the lot. Eh...

Love your blog.

Carolyn Nash said...

Aw, that takes me back! Our first cohabitation debacle was: Triscuits are not Wheat Thins. But now that we're on opposite sides of the world I can't remember anything he's ever done wrong. Distance will do that. Also, I am unquestionably the relationship-challenged of the two of us, so I can't complain...

But general pet peeve? Incorrect use of "begging the question."

missy. said...

oh lady i LOVED this post. totally understand where you are coming from. and i needed to read that someone out there is feeling the same way and it is normal to have those extreme differences and not EVERY relationship is perfect. thank you ten million times over.

Faux Naif said...

heh, i really like your blog. a lot.

i will not write my pet peeves down, because then i will get all flustered and peeved, as i tend to do. many things peeve me. now i'm just luxuriating in the use of the word "peeve."

no seriously, though. you write fantastically well. good luck with any further couple-related doo-dahs. i am sure you will both weather whatever storms the lurve gods may throw your way.

Julie said...

communion wafer. Baaaaaahahahha. My pet peeve is when food tastes faintly of soap because the dish it was cooked/baked/whatevered in wasn't rinsed properly.

the "L" spot said...

me and my brian had issues with the closet and the bathroom our first month.

he folded and i one.
because girls rule!

I got a clean bathroom and space for my shoes which is all i really wanted!

abigail said...

my husband makes piles. in corners. and it makes me want to kill him.
when he's putting away the dishes he gets lazy and doesn't want to put the ones that go up high away and piles them in the corner as though that's where they go. he shoves the mail in the corner and forgets about it until a bill is over due. he puts everything in corners and it drives me bananas! but every morning he brings me coffee in bed, so I think I'll keep him.

Meghan said...

Toothpaste spittle residue in thr sink makes me cringe, but open mouth eaters and gum smackers make my skin crawl.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

He likes to put everything in the fridge, bananas, chocolate, cake, bread, peanut butter, and god forbid I leave butter out to soften or eggs to warm up to room temperature for a recipe. He puts it back in the fridge every time, so now I announce that it's out for a reason and to leave it the hell alone.

It's been 10 years and we still have our quirks and irks.

We decided immediately upon shacking up though that we would be closed bathroom door people and I have no regrets about that.

Diane said...

Wow, wonderful post.
Just let me say that I am a fan of telling the person that you love what is wrong in his actions or his attitude, because this way you make him understand what are your needs and preferences and second because maybe you can change him into a better person, or he can change you.

I believe your argument stands tall for any kind of healthy loving relationship :)

kiss!

Miss Caitlin S. said...

I adore your posts. That part about the toilet paper had me dying... per the usual when I'm at your page... right on though, that is how these things go..

I would say my pet peeve is when people pick their nose around you, I'm open with partners but that just grosses.me.out!

http://candyflosspersie.blogspot.com/

Shibby said...

I so agree about the peanut butter the little one is so insultingly small it's weird.
I love reading your blog its so honest thanks for sharing =)

Lexi Colby said...

haha i love this post!
great blog! thanks so much for your comment!
xx

Pink Lace and Cupcakes said...

You are Hilarious! I am so glad I found your blog! Pet peeves... I try to be patient but hubs shoves his boxers and t-shirt in the decorative towel rack every morning, i mean every single morning! At this point i just laugh and put it in the hamper, its not worth the energy

Pink Lace and Cupcakes said...

You are Hilarious! I am so glad I found your blog! Pet peeves... I try to be patient but hubs shoves his boxers and t-shirt in the decorative towel rack every morning, i mean every single morning! At this point i just laugh and put it in the hamper, its not worth the energy

Ashley said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog.

You crack me up. People always criticized my choice to move in with my now fiance prior to us even being engaged because it was "too soon." However, I'm pretty sure I would have been ready to divorce him within days if I jumped in the cohabitating after we got married. There is way too much shit to deal with.

Clairebear said...

Ok, I dont mind when the BF eats in a room that is not the kitchen/dining room, but what I cant stand is that as soon as he leaves said rooms, he seems to forget the way to the sink. The next time I come across a plate or used cup in the loungeroom or bedroom, I'm going to scream.
Towels go back in the bathroom or in the hamper when youve finished using them. NOT on the bed, or in the wardrobe, or on the couch downstairs (WTF?).
Also, when youve finished a roll of toilet paper, wouldnt it just be easier to take the empty roll off and replace it, than to leave the new roll beside the toilet? sigh.
Apart from that, hes pretty OCD about things going where they belong, which I suppose is why it bugs me so much.

Melissa said...

Peanut butter... we've been living together for about a year and a half and have yet to agree on it...
As far as pet peeves, it'll only get worse. I seriously find something about my husband that drives me insane daily.
BUT! I love living and being with him. You take the good with the bad.

itsassimpleasthat said...

First off, thank you for the comment on my blog. And secondly, great post! I checked out your blog and this was the exact message that I needed to see today. It hit me right smack in the face. Thank you thank you thank you! Keep up the great work.

Best,

Hannah Katy

Lora said...

sending him out for groceries and having him come back with the wrong brand totally tops the list.

Oh, and the way he sticks his tongue out to meet the fork before every bite. I'm considering crossing my fingers for a teeth scrape.

And the socks all over the house.

Snoring. Well, breathing in general while sleeping.

I think that's about it. The rest I've learned to live with. It's been 15 years.

Fizzgig said...

For some reason I was turned on to peter pan peanut butter...and never looked back....

one thing I despise is people who drop weights in the gym from mid air and cause me to almost fall mid run on the treadmill.

daisychain said...

Oh man, I could be here all damn day listing out my pet peeves.

I love you for this post.

P.T said...

I don't understand how people can eat a sandwich with peanut butter together with jam on! Yikes for me...My husband would have peanut butter, jam and cheese together...yikes...

Pet peeves: Rude callers and do not leave messages. People picking their nose in public.

Melissa said...

Probably my ultimately pet peeve as far as my love is concerned - when he opens a cabinet or a drawer to get something from it, he LEAVES IT OPEN. Sometimes it's more than one cabinet or drawer. Sometimes it's more than two, as though it's not a big deal at all. But it is, in fact, a big fucking deal because WHO DOES THAT?

stephanie said...

ohmygod i am in love with your blog. this dialogue sounds like me & my husband...LOL it's so hard to decide when to say something and when to just let it go (only to boil over soon after and end up making it worse anyway)


my pet peeve: the fact that every night he falls asleep on the couch because he "wants to stay up and watch letterman" and i have to wake up, go wake him up, and turn everything off....SO ANNOYING>

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

pink lace and cupcakes- well thanks for stopping by lady! i love seeing new faces here!

melissa- MY MAN DOES THE SAME THING. You walk into the kitchen and it looks like a robber came in and was going through every drawer and cabinet in the room. I always wonder how and WHY hes opening so many things?! oh hell


Stephanie- thanks doll! my love does the same thing. He watches "this old house" and watches people fix up their places, then he doesnt fix up ours hah.

Super Careo said...

Getting used to another person in your space is tough. The guy I lived with was the one who had issues with me however - hahaha.

A tip for the sharing covers thing: get a comforter that is a size up from your mattress size. I have a king size for my queen bed and I LOVE IT. Co-sleeping doesn't have to mean freezing your ass off when you wake up and your bed mate has turned himself into a comforter burrito.

alishaneva said...

So true - the big jar of peanut butter is NESCESARRY! And you know what? You're right - sometimes love is about knowing and loving the flaw of the other person ... and also - sharing the darn covers.

Matt said...

"we say things that are brash and untactful."

HAHA. Brash.

Brashman. Get it?

Nevermind. I've had too much coffee. Whatever.

hannahjustbreathe said...

Well, at least he didn't buy the all-natural peanut butter crap that has all the oils separated out on top. He was *kind of* close!!

My pet peeves usually center around the bathroom. I'll just leave that up to your imagination...

Melissa said...

My husband wont eat anything that is low fat- nothing. He says it tastes bad and when I try to sneak it in he can always tell.

Rolerkite said...

My boyfriend, as sweet as he is, can't eat right either, but it's more the gulping/swishing of anything liquid EVERY TIME he takes a drink of something that makes we want to ban him from beverages.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

matt- YEAAAAA YEAAA. I get you, you nerd.

michelle said...

i'll hold off my relationship peeves since im working on my spinster status currently :p

i think it's funny the fork thing bothers you because one of my best friends is the same way. i always eat extra carefully around her just in case... and i dont understand how people confuse jif and skippy. i think jif is f-ing nasty and yell at the tv whenever their commercials come on. boys are so silly when they think they're paying attention. but at least they try :)

Grace said...

Gahh I feel your pain. When you got to the part about clenching onto the fork as you take the food off... eehh.. I shuddered and had to recollect myself. Definitely one of my pet peeves.

Love Grace.

LiLu said...

I got all squinchy in the face just READING that sentence about the fork scraping on the-

I can't even finish that sentence.

*shudder*

Rachel Cotterill said...

Any peanut butter is fine with me, as long as it has bits in. But you should definitely tell him stuff like that.

As for the toilet paper fairies, where can I get some????

Jaime said...

Haha this is great...it's the little things sometimes, right?

ScrambledJill said...

Bobaloo is meticulous with everything. It drives me and my impatience crazy!

akdottie said...

Oh My Goodness I thought I was the only one who hated the fork/teeth/eating thing! Drives me crazy- well that and people who smack their food when the eat...oh sweet jesus.

Phoenix said...

snoring killed my last relationship. Also it was the general lack of thoughtfulness for any of my needs, but let's just sum it up with snoring.

I am a super light sleeper and snoring sent me onto the couch for over a month and a half.

Relationship killer, right there.

The Shabby Princess said...

You're killin' me! We have the PB debate at our house, although it's usually because I buy the organic natural PB and my husband hates that kind but won't put "regular peanute butter" on the grocery list and since I don't eat it, I never buy it.

But, it is sweet that he at least tried to buy you your favorite peanut butter, even if it was the wrong kind.

MairHeard said...

I hated when my ex-love used to walk a little bit in front of me while going into a store or running errands. I'm right here!!! You mayyyy get to the car one second before, or get to the automatic opening door at Best Buy, but wait up! I have long legs too! That was then when I was young, and now I know that I am too independent to fall for that again!

Also can't stand the hanging of towels on the curtain. That's what the rods and hooks are for.

Ria Thurston said...

Thanks for coming by my blog - Come back anytime! I'm pretty picky on my pb too :)
Blessings!

shine said...

You can say it sweetly.

I cannot CANNOT stand it when people breathe super loudly. Especially if it's when they're eating. Or when anyone makes weird funny sounds while chewing. Or gum smacking. Or...well, let's be honest, the list goes on...

Alice said...

that's the worst! when a boy does something sooo nice and they're soooo proud of themselves, and you have to punch a puppy in the mouth ANYWAY. poor boys. they do try, though :-)

Katelin said...

my pet peeve with living with matt is that he leaves stuff everywhere, in random piles. like shoes and jackets and change from his pockets. i usually ask him to pick it up or do it myself and it's just annoying, haha. that and he'll always take out the kitchen trash can when it's full but the bedroom and bathroom trash cans are like a mystery to him, it cracks me up.

Jen said...

At least he was thoughtful enough to go through all that for you. Very cute! :)

Love your blog. I'll be back again and again!

Meg said...

Oh, how I can relate. I've been married for five years now, so I've adjusted to the peculiar food choices and barbaric smacking. It's the obnoxious sleep noises that have ceased to become enduring.

BTW, thanks for checking out and commenting on my blog.

heart charlie said...

Haha! I love this! Don't be stingy with the creamy PB ;) I don't know why, but it extremely annoys me in movies or tv shows, when someone who is supposed to be dead, comes back as a figment of another character's imagination and only that character can see or talk to them. This truly annoys me!!!

Jill said...

Why are you my favorite? Seriously? I'm mildly obsessed in a super NON-Snapped on Oxygen kind of way! More I just want to come to wherever you are and have coffee with you and talk shit...

Have I said too much?

Kristin said...

The hubs always leaves his mouth open a little when he eats ice cream. Drives me bonkers!!! Oh and I'm a JIF girll. I cannot eat anything else. It's like Coke or Pepsi. You're one or the other!

Micalyn said...

"Don't blame me, blame the people who taught me manners."

I'm going to have to use that one sometime.

Jacque said...

Omg this post made me laugh out loud! I cannot stand it when someone reads over my shoulder! Or when someone flops down on a bed I just spent time making! Cute post!!

clover said...

that was a good and much needed laugh!

Candice said...

Aw HELL no! Nobody gets cheap on the peanut butter!

Laurel said...

Oh you are a funny honey!! Love your blog. OK- there are times when my husband is just breathing that I feel homicidal...ok often!!
Co-habitation is so wrong on so many levels. They are everywhere and then nowhere when you need help...hmm I am sounding bitter:0
Sending you some bloggy love:)
Laurel

Mishi said...

Ah, the infamous Jif v. Skippy rivalry. No one is left on the fence about that one. It's kinda weird how strongly people feel about competing peanut butter brands. Me, I'm all about the smooth Jif.

Casi from SanFranciscoNoobs.com said...

"My Love" and I have definitely had arguments over peanut butter! Im a smooth girl (no brand preference) and "My Love" craves crunchy. Some how he always manages to remove the smooth from the grocery cart and sneak in the crunchy. Definitely makes me want to punch a baby!

J-Diggety said...

Water on the bathroom floor... wet socks makes me C-R-A-Z-Y :P

Hello Vodka, It's me...Kassy said...

I had this same debacle with a former live in bf. It was a mad fight over the milk. I wanted non-fat he demanded whole. WTF. we ended up having to buy different milk. Compromises could not be made. Now with my new BF same issue - he wants whole and I now demand Light Soy. Same problem.

LovelyLor said...

I know I have a bunch of pet peeves but I can't think of any off hand. But as soon as somebody does one I remember. Spitting grosses me out especially when people spit and then suck it back in EW EW EW hate that

Mama Kat said...

How bout just marriage. Can marriage be a pet peeve?

And nice to meet you...a friend of mine will NOT stop raving about you and I was getting borderline offended and was all "Don't you read MY blog anymore!?!"

She didn't reply.

Please stop stealing my IRL friends mkay? Can't we just get along??

All kidding aside. I think you're lovely too.

FeliciaRoss said...

Thanks for the comment!

I love your blog. As far as pet peeves go my BF is messy. He does make up for it though by being so sweet.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
eQ said...

I love your updates on your cohabitation situation! It's true that you learn quite a bit about yourself through someone else's eyes. Sound like you are headed in the right direction!

One thing the BF does that annoys the shit out of me is that he takes the trash out (yay!) but then doesn't replace the bag (WTF). The job isn't done until you replace the bag.

Imogen said...

Great post and so true. I love the way you write.

CeCe said...

OMG this post speaks to my heart. My #1 pet peeve is smacking noises when a boy is eating. Gah.

P.S. LOVE your blog.

reinventingsandyb said...

Fabulous post. And, apparently, one that needed to be posted... look at all these pet peeves on here!

Anyway.

My pet peeves include (but are not limited to):

-Rude people. This includes- not signaling when switching lanes; sneezing in my hair at the grocery store checkout; and farting in my yoga class and acting like it wasn't you.

-Open-mouth chewers. I married one. He's lucky he's got a rock hard ass, otherwise...

-Cell phone talkers at Starbucks. Bitch, you'd better order that double Americano and move on. Mama needs her fix.

Love your blog Chelsea. So fun. For reals.

Shannon Ashley said...

This post is hilarious!! You commented on my blog a few weeks back and I never got a chance to commentyou back until now.. your blog is so funny and clever.. i love your sense of humor.. so sarcastic and witty. I hope the boyfriend buys the right kind of PB soon!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Very funny and poignant post! My main pet peeve is spitting!!

I HATE when someone spits on the ground around me! YUCK!

Allison M. said...

holy shit you just wait! I'm going on 2.5 years of living with him and I learn NEW things every day!

BTW, he is very a much a shoes-off kind of person. (I'm not.)

repliderium.com said...

My ex use to leave dental floss on the counter. As in the used piece with the tarter/food crap all stuck to it.

HeatherClark said...

ha you are really funny! There aren't enough funny blogs out there at all. I've just been blogging a few months and I'm still struggling a bit with having my personality/sense of humor come through im my writing

anyway

i vote for a shoes on kind of house

and that noise with the fork is SOO annoying

I had an old roomate that did it would literally drive me INSANE

Elizabeth said...

You are super funny! I'm so glad you left a comment so I could read about all this.

Hello Lindello said...

haha. I can totally relate. Living with others can be so hard sometimes. I HATE it when I am watching TV or listening to a radio program and I can hear crunching sounds. EEwwwwww. And I do hate it when people don't bother taking off their shoes when they come to our house. But I am a total clean freak so that might be my problem.

Sarah Bonds Collins said...

I live in Alabama (insert redneck joke), and my husband is an avid hunter. It REALLY pisses me off when he and his buddies get together IN MY LIVING ROOM and practice their damn deer grunts and turkey calls. It is honestly head-jarring.

http://gokristen.wordpress.com said...

Great post! My fiance likes to point out that I get ADD when I eat...as I put the food on my fork I look up and a majority of the time the food falls on the table, back on the plate or on me...he has given up all hope and just pushes the plate toward me as he starts to see the food fall...

So I think I am the source of most pet peeves in our relationship...he doesn't have many weird habits or traits...he does start to strip when he walks into the house but something tells me I can deal with that :-D

Kelly@TearingUpHouses said...

i cracked up reading this bc WE'VE HAD THE EXACT SAME PEANUT BUTTER CONVERSATION.

gawd, i'm unoriginal.

kelly

Nishant said...

He also insists that we cuddle facing each other, which is weird, right?

Work from home India

Meg said...

My boyfriend has the most annoying habit of wandering away like an ADD child. Doesn't matter where we are - Times Square, a dive bar or restaurant, off he goes. When we first started dating we were at a party for one of HIS friends. He needed to get some more cash so instead of saying "babe, I'll be right back" he just left. and was then gone for nearly an hour. leaving me with his friends, some of which I had JUST MET. Awkward. Annoying. Infuriating. And also something, I recently found out, his father does to his mother all the time. That made me feel better.

Plus, I bought him a leash in blue (his favorite color).

 
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