Monday, December 14, 2009

I'm that chick that FALLS at the finish line. During the Olympics.


I've never been particularly good at finishing things. Unless someone offers me treats, one for each hand.

I have sort of the "get rich quick" mentality, but with actions. The faster I can get something done, the better. The shortcut, hell yes-step on it! If the project seems endless, I'd rather not even start, so that I don't give myself an aneurysm, or end up feeling like a failure and resort to binge eating Little Debbie cakes in an attempt to "stuff my feelings" of self loathing. Or something equally dramatic and superfluous. If the project doesn't have an end date, or an outcome that it's in my favor, I'd rather put it off. The problem is, half of what I DO doesn't have an end, a start, a timeline or a predictable conclusion.

So when I come home and my entire house looks like an episode of Hoarders, I'd rather sleep in my car than begin the never ending project, that has somehow caused our inheritance of a little mouse....which, for all you people that say "Aw, Stuart" I'd like you to understand that I'd rather have a snake chase me around my home, EVERYDAY, for the rest of my life with venom dripping off of it's teeth.....than have a mouse.... OR, have a tarantula take a swan dive at my face. Those two things would be better, than a fucking mouse.

....I digress. Let me finish my thought since this is after all about FINISHING (anyone thinking sexual thoughts yet? No? just me?). The point is;
If it makes me even the slightest bit uncomfortable, I JUST WON'T FINISH IT.
And when not finishing isn't an option, I throw a tantrum. Or I find a loophole. Since I'm all crafty and determined. Our home is in shambles, there's drapes hanging from strange places, there's furniture balanced like a game of Jenga all over our living room, we have a colony of little people living in our walls (I'll let you decide which of those things is true- the little people thing is totally a possibility; they steal socks and trip people, and live in walls)........so, I sit. I sit and I stare at all the things falling apart and that require nails, measuring tape, more money, or heavy lifting and I think....we're doomed. Totally. fucking. doomed.

But it isn't just my house.....and that's what really bothers me. It isn't just the "things." If the things were all that needed finishing, I'd work around it. You hire people for that shit. loophole, holllla.

The things that I need to finish are the things that MATTER the most to me. They often get the least amount of attention, because I've busied myself with a million other things, or back episodes of Bad Girls Club and coffee dates mid-workday to avoid facing the fear of finishing and failing. Or finishing and realizing that the responsibility of doing GREAT, or not doing anything at all, all falls on my shoulders. All I need are those few extra strides to get there. Having to admit fault to ourselves for not having the things we want is a hard pill to swallow. Or a hard small-sharp-jagged-object-covered in cayenne pepper to swallow.

In the homestretch when everything is just a decision short of being DONE, is when I putter out. It's almost like that burden that weighs you down has become part of the costume, it's easier to keep it, than feel naked without it.

The songs that are half-written, the to-do list of things that could, if achieved, meld the balance between the dream and the reality. The Christmas cards (send me your address if you want one! I'll only show up on your doorstep if there's free booze and cable) the thank you notes, the package sitting by the door ready to send, but without a stamp. The budget plan, the PLAN at all. It isn't the initiative that I lack, or the drive- or even the belief for that matter, but the CLOSE. The touchdown. The home run....and all those other sighs of relief and triumph.

Today, I'm going to FINISH what I START. Even if it's a painfully awkward conversation that I initiate with the checkout girl wearing reindeer antlers. I'm going to wrap up the ends....make them a pretty little bow of holiday cheer and GET 'ER DONE.




What do you need to FINISH?




102 comments:

Jules said...

Wow - You and I are a lot alike! I don't start things because I know I won't finish them. And when I do them, they're half-assed. Hubby calls me "Good Enough Girl." You know, "It's good enough."

I probably need to REALLY clean the house. Ugh. That's overwhelming though.

Leah said...

Hi Chelsea! Don't be bothered by the finish line because once you get there, there's a new race to run. So it's just a cycle... finish, start, finish, start.

And I have free booze and cable for you if you show up in my doorstep. Hahaha! Anytime you're in my part of the planet that is.

Sid said...

I need to learn how to finish a book. I've started reading 10 books this year and just stopped mid-way. I loved them when I started reading them but something ALWAYS distracts me.

Ben said...

Yeeeaaaaah...I tend to ignore things and hope they go away as soon as they enter anything-less-than-ideal territory.

BigSis said...

My problem is that when the house looks like I'm a candidate for Hoarders, the car is just as bad!

Melissa said...

I absolutely MUST finish most things in my life; The office clean up, my gardens, the fence, a website I've been working on for ages, my Christmas shopping... Oh gawwwwd, the Christmas shopping. Damn!

tea for tessa said...

I love your blog. I am the same way when it comes to cracking down to studying. I'm one of those people that is like "I'm going home to study!" and my boyfriend will call me and be like "want to hang out" and of course I choose option B. I end up getting all my shit done on time, but the problem is that I'm always rushing and scampering around to get it all done. My room also has to get beyond cluttered before I take 5 garbage bags to it and get rid of the gathered piles in my room.

I figure with all those little things I put off, I know I was filling my time with something better or something that was good for me. So whatev. As long as you DO get around to doing the important things at some point.

Doniree said...

a blog post (or two), three articles, an apartment search, fixing my car, doing my laundry, and at least STARTING to pack my stuff.

J. said...

I need to finish unpacking my house... but I've unpacked the necessities, so the rest of it doesn't seem so important anymore. I'll get around to it... one of these days. :)

Ams said...

Ummmmmm can we say long lost "unfinished" twins!?
I effing hate finishing crap. I suck at it, I always start something with the best intentions of finishing but uhhhhh I don't.

So right now on the list.
I have a course that I have been doing for two years. It would have taken like say, 6 months if I would have just DONE it. But of course needs to be done in February. I am busting my you-know-what trying to get it done now... and I am overwhelmed, and stressed...

Yah, so I totally feel ya on this one!

Taylor-made Wife said...

I'm at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I feel like I always have to finish everything! And I take on way too much. Then I break down-see my blog entry today for a detailed account of my latest breakdown...http://confessmyissues.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-cycle-im-back.html
Cheers to you getting your shit done!

Rasha (andthisiswhatshesaid) said...

IM in between... I finish things and feel like I have too, unless I think they are out of my reach...

ugh


i rellly need to start studying for my fina tomorrow, but i dont want too.. haha

Genie of the Shell said...

I have the same problem! I also have a brilliant solution. Often I have a million unfinished projects going on at once, and I don't know how to prioritize. I would rather take a Valium and a nap than start in on any of them.

When this happens, I look up a horoscope. The dumber, the better. I take a cue from my celestial prediction on what to focus my energy on, and screw everything else. If it says "you will have relationship bliss this week," I prioritize anything my husband wants to do. If it says, "Get yourself organized," I spend all day cleaning up files and doing paperwork in the office, and all the dishes in the sink can rot until someone else does them.

It's random, but that's the point. Picking one thing, ANYTHING, and getting it done makes all those other priorities seem easier to tackle.

Asking a Magic 8 Ball what to do also helps. I find that if you ask nonsensical entities for advice, like Tarot decks or random response generators, whatever you interpret the message as is what you, deep down inside your subconscious, really know needs to be done.

Herding Cats said...

I'm a big list person. I really get a kick out of crossing things off my list. The thing is, sometimes I will do things half-ass just to cross them off my list. I should really focus on quality and not quantity.

missy. said...

my christmas gifts. i have yet to wrap them even though i've had them for well over a week now. uuggghh...

hopefully you get everything cleaned up!

Sizzle said...

It's hard to take that leap when it is something that matters the most. Seems counterintuitive and yet, I suffer from a similar affliction. I figure it's more about my fear of failure than anything so I'm working on it. Baby steps.

JUST ME said...

I NEVER have stamps. I mean, who does these days?

Packages and letters and BILLS are always late.

Amy --- Just A Titch said...

I really needed to read this today. I am notorious for making plans, having big ideas and then...nothing. This is most notable with my weight. I can make plans to hit the gym, a kick-ass playlist, lay out my outfit and then...not go work out or make healthy food or anything. It's a cycle of awful; one I really, really hope to break!

Jaime said...

I need to "finish" working out- I.E. go more than once every few weeks...or not at all. I started last year, and need to finish!

Penny Lane said...

Great post. I've been giving myself a hard time lately for my fear of failure. But sometimes I lack so much confidence in myself, I doubt so much I could do a good job at something, that I feel better by not ever starting it at all. Because I'm scared of proving myself right.

Maybe I should start something and finish it...and not fail...or maybe I'll do that tomorrow. ;)

Nahl said...

it's amazing how you can always read what's going on in everybody else's mind. It's like a talent you have. You're so right when you say the things I need to finish are what matter most to me.
STUDYING. I need to start it, and finish it. I just don't know how to get it done.

sarah marie p said...

Ummm ... yeah. This is a MAJOR issue for me.

Take for example yesterday --

I put two things in the washing machine ... and then walk away and move onto another task, until my husband comes & actually puts more clothes in and starts a load.

Then I load the dishwasher but don't do the handwashing / clean the counters.

I finally address a Thank You card ... but don't actually find a stamp or write anything inside.

I start sorting mail to shred an then give up.

Ahhh! I need help!

Things I need to finish -- more loads of laundry, organizing/cleaning the entire house, writing that thank you card + Christmas cards, actually blogging even once in December and finish making my sister a baby blanket. Sigh.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

just me- YA, WHAT IS THAT? I do everything online. BULLSHIT.

[Unspeakable Thoughts Unspoken]* said...

hey thanks for ur comment, ur blog is cool, I've been reading here and there and u really speak ur mind don't you?
What do I need to finish?...finish getting my drivig license for good!!

xxx

(Follow me on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/dontwanttoknow)

michelle said...

good luck with the projects! i should probably "finish" my work, instead of reading blogs :p

Couture Carrie said...

Good resolution, darling! Remember to send yourself positive messages!

I need to finish my xmas shopping...

xoxox,
CC

amy said...

I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.

Nathalie said...

Oh finishing things, that's just a very difficult thing. I'm studying architecture and I always get nervouse breakdowns until everything is finished. I think it these things go together :)
Regards
Nathalie

Claire said...

Just stumbled upon your blog, I love this title of this post! I need to finish my grad school applications and statement of purpose....hello procrastination! maybe I'll get back on doing that today....thanks for the motivational words!

Kattrina said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I can never pass up good Cuban food, since it can be hard to come by!
Are you still reading The Geography of Bliss - I read that book. Found it quite interesting. Although it made me never want to go to Moldova.
Have a great day!

Kris said...

Oh gosh the list is long! I need to finish my work projects. Finish cleaning my apt, finish applying to school (going for another degree), ughhh I don't want to finish this list! haha

paula said...

I am awful at finishing what I start too unless it comes to my home that has to be done quickly.

Phoenix said...

Screw finishing...I'm like you, I just need to fucking START already and not back away, totally overwhelmed.

At least I have a majority of my Christmas shopping done.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

couturecarrie- oh don't you worry, i've been hispering self help sentiments to myself all day. lol.

Cindy Whitehead said...

love your blog - you write about all the things I am "thinking". (-: I have about 1,000 emails neatly filed in "folders" in my in box but need to sort through them and throw away whats not needed anymore - will I do it - doubtful. Its time consuming, not much fun and a shit load of work.. I also LOVE your post about others not returning emails - its my pet peeve. Hello! ask me a question, I email reply a long answer to help that person out and not even an "Got It", "Thank You" "Ok" etc.. sheesh. Ok I am done ranting now

Thanks for stopping by my blog - I really appreciate it and your nice comment! (-:

Matt said...

If you buy a pet snake, he will eat the mouse in no time. You pretty much solved your own problem there.

I want a Christmas card!!! you and your love should hand deliver it, AKA- we can go out drinking and you save 38 cents postage. Win-win, really.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

matt- DUDE, it's on. Next week? I'm out of town this weekend. You down?!

love, S said...

I'm a huge fan of finishing what I start!

Right now I need to finish these damned vintage and robot wrapping paper Christmas postcards...

Totes agree with Leah btw... Maybe start less and have a higher finish rate ;)

chelseybell. said...

i need to finish being sick!

thanks for your get well wishes!

Haven and Home said...

It is so hard to finish things isn't it? I don't have an answer but I wish I did....

Jay Ferris said...

I feel sorry for your personal assistant in a future tense.

Kimberly Julie said...

finally someone just like me! i have been putting off really finding a job, finishing christmas shopping, creating a budget, etc. lately... it's a problem...

Simply Valorie said...

Love it! I think we can all relate a little bit.

As for things I need to get done... Oh, finals. I have two left. I too need to clean. I need to get some sleep. That one might actually happen. :)

Gisel said...

--hey thanks for the-bday blog comment!!! :)

--what do i need to finish!?
LOL... where do i begin?!?!?!?!?

ummm....
i have these XMAS DYI STOCKINGS that i started stenciling&painting, one for everyone in the family... & that doesn't seem to be going anywhere....

umm... im also a scrapbOoKing freak..and well lately--i havent done much of that AT ALL. i didnt even SCRAPBOOK MY COLLEGE GRADUATION~& that's kinda a big deal! lol.

at work... UNFINISHED WORK... is starting to pile and lean to the side like the leaning tower of pisa!!!

--- and the house could use a lot of cleaning.... but ugh! -it's like everytime i clean it... 2days later; it's even WORSE than when i started!

i understand how u feel!!!

Courtney said...

Oh boy - so many things to finish. So many things! Christmas cards and packing are at the top of my list. Good luck with your finishes!

tee said...

If this post wasn't a good kick in the ass, I don't know what is.

You're one step ahead of me, though. I have a huge problem with starting things. I'm always "about to do" something. E.g. I've been about to make a very important phone call for the past 3 hours. Smh.

Regarding the mouse, be sure you choose your traps wisely. The only thing more gross than a live mouse, is a dead one. Ick!

<3 always,
tee.

Alicia (The Red Deer) said...

At the moment I actually don't think I need to finish anything :o|

How strange.

Michelle said...

Ugh, I'm the exact same way. I've started about a million things that still need to be done.

iheartkiwi said...

you're preaching to the choir lady... i sit here on my couch when there are papers to be typed, projects to be finished and suitcases for paris to be packed!

i always end up scrambling at the last minute and doing everything half assed.

maybe this is a good place to start with new years resolutions!

Nina said...

You wrote one insightful message there that spoke volumes to me ... I guess I will probably try to end my bitterness toward people who have betrayed me ... put a close on that chapter and move forward.

Nina

Pretty Pirate said...

you crack me up lady!! thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting! I'm excited to read some more of yours too! ;)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

jay ferris- Oh yeah I KNOW. poor thing. Maybe I'll have A TEAM OF PERSONAL ASSISTANTS? they should I have a name too. A TEAM NAME.

Rachael said...

Ok...forget about finishing (who really wants to clean? not me!).

Let's just talk about how awesomely horrible Bad Girls Club really is. I mean, these girls are getting paid to be on TV and just go WILD. Now, I only saw the first episode of this season, but last season...I really saw each episode atleast twice. There is something SO WRONG...that is just SO GOOD and lures me in.

I vote for more trashy TV :)

Katelin said...

i have so much stuff i need to finish too. like my photo albums oh and planning this wedding of mine, haha. i know i'll finish that one eventually, well like in august probably :)

Hillary said...

ugh - I should finish my fucking accounting course that I paid $700 to take and have yet to start.

Vanessa said...

I've got a couple of books that I need to finish reading.

I have tons of design projects that are hanging around my house. Handbags and clothes. I think it's mostly because there's not enough time in the day. Inevitably my priorities shift and I start new projects.

Sarah J said...

but then again, if it weren't for the horrendous and overwhelming things, we might not appreciate the wonderful little things we choose to procrastinate with. think judy garland/ the hills are alive type revelations. if she's just sat in that convent and became a successful nun, there would be no story!
i feel inspired. i'm gonna go make some dresses out of curtains.

Rosie Unknown said...

Good luck!

I have always had more trouble starting, but I am interested in hearing how this works out for you.

Nancy Magoo said...

Thanks for the comment, i'll have to admit i've never drank egg nog. But if it's alcoholic i'll take a look into it.

I also am horrid at finishing things I start. Sigh.

x

www.nancymagoo.blogspot.com

Allison M. said...

don't even get me started! I'm the queen of starting things and not finishing them. I have lots of little hobbies.

Although, I secretly find checking items off my list absolutely fascinating. Love it!

Megara said...

agh i faced this all the time when i was a student! now all i have to finish is writing christmas cards, this episode of law&order, and the saucepan full of mulled apple cider :)

Ashley said...

there's a reason why I don't send christmas cards. I'll write them, seal the envelope but never send them. EVER. Same with postcards. I came home with FIFTEEN postcards all written and addressed and never sent.

I love starting things but then the excitement wears off and i never seem to finish anything.

Good luck finishing your to do list! And if you want to come to MI and drink booze and watch my parents cable, that'd be pretty awesome.

TheBeautyFile said...

My TERM PAPERRRRS!! I'm so f'ed...I first need to get rid of this damn internet....

Bayjb said...

Tonight? I have to finish reading some decks for work. Overall, I need to finish getting ready to go home for the holidays!

nifer said...

Oh my gosh... you basically described my past few weeks! It's so overwhelming when you think about what you have to do to check that item off your to-do list, but it's equally overwhelming to leave it looming over you. Ugh.

I have to finish: laundry, cleaning the house, putting my Christmas decorations, Christmas shopping, getting a tree, reading my book. All on top of work and other daily stuff that pops up.

I'll start if you will.

Mo said...

woa what a great post. Speaking the truth.

I need to finish... actually i need to start on a LOT of stuff... but i don't have time cause i need to finish the dishes, the laundry, the xmas shopping, the night....

Diane said...

Hy dear. If it makes you feel any better, it's not good being on the other side either. I am so obsessed about getting everything done, fixing everything, knowing all the details regarding all the things around me and putting everything in order, from the things that surround me to my thoughts that I always feel stressed out, I'm always thinking if I've done that and that, what else is on the list, I see my life in 10 years from now...

So...I'd like to be more like you sometimes :P

Anyway, your writing is great. If you don't have a column in a publication you should probably get one soon ;)

kiss

dianefreedom.blogspot.com

nicoleantoinette said...

I am GREAT at ideas. GREAT at initial motivation. GREAT at getting shit rolling. But then I'm like "Bah! Onto the next thing! No time for this!" And something about white rabbits. Yeah. Suck.

Macaron Treats ♥♥ said...

Wonderful post! I always finish everything I start, no matter how long it takes. Sure I get so sick of it by the end I want to dig a hole - but I get it done
xxx

jacqueline amy said...

i love your blog.
i HATE mice!
x

Protege said...

Great post on an issue we all recognize.;)
If it is any consolation, for one, you finished this post.;)
I need to finish zillion things at work and in the house. Too many to list, hehe.;)
Thank you so much for stopping by my place.;)
xo
Zuzana

P said...

I'm bad at STARTING things, let alone finishing them. The writing course I paid for ages ago, for example. It's still sitting in its box. I plan to start that very soon.

AND I'll finish it!

Saving Capulet said...

I like to hide under my sheets til they all go away. But really, Incredible post!

Bonbon Oiseau said...

ha! an episode of hoarders. well as my mom says, the antidote to all that disorganization is one small, very focused step (but i paraphrase)...because once you pick up the stack of old blender mags on the wAy to where the kwanzaa stamps are, it's all over. good luck chelsea and thanks for visiting me this week!

battered couture said...

ahh the joy of procrastination. Nothings beats that. I myself am an avid practitioner. :)

Jill said...

I need to finish making Christmas cards and getting presents :)

P.S.-Your writing style is refreshing!

Kristen said...

You are not alone! I could have written this same post about my life right now. It's crazy, there's too much happening, and never enough time. And even when there is time, I still don't want to finish things. I've been in my apartment for 8 months, still haven't hung all my picture frames. Somehow, things seem to work out though :)

Laurel said...

Ahh I have SO many project started that I have not finnished, a crossstich, I started to create a chalk board with chalkboard paint, a watercolor, organizing... EVERYTHING, .... oh how I could go on.

Fee-AMore said...

I totally agreed on finishing off where you start, no matter what the outcome may bring.

And right now as i look around, crap i have got so much to finish off!

They never end! xo

Amanda Blair said...

I feel the exact same way! I love how brutally honest you are, you say all the things no one else will! I love your blog!

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

quitting my job.

Existential Waitress said...

This post could have been written by me! I'm pretty bad about finishing books - I usually have about 5 or 6 books going at once. And I still haven't called that nice girl down the street to set up a play date for the kids like I said I would. And as far as loop holes go, I've often told my husband that when it comes to death, "I'm pretty sure I can get out of it somehow..."

Kellie said...

I don't start things b/c if I do I will need to finish them completely and perfectly. A bit of a perfectionist. So I procrastinate. Endlessly. It's a bit ridiculous. But I have a saying if you're going to do something do it right! And so I usually just don't do anything. Now that makes me sound lazy... Hmmm...

Karin said...

I didn't even start the Christmas cards yet. I have a coat waiting to get sewn, for a month now. I somehow once thought I could write a book. Yes, you can laugh. And let's just not start about the laundry...

I guess I'm another person that recognizes what you wrote. Great post, I laughed out loud (just because you hit some nerve, not laughing at you ;-)) multiple times. You have a great blog, I'll definitely be back!

Matt said...

Yeah, Im in. I can do a little post-christmas celebrating with ya!

chloe said...

oh man, i could tell a million stories of things that i start and don't finish! in fact i still have several 'unfinished' projects lying around cluttering up the apartment and driving my boyfriend mad :)
good times! x

Shannon of ** Happiness Is...** said...

I finish everything or else I can't sleep and it weighs on my mind until it is completed. ANAL! :) The older I get, the more I must. finish. everything. Weird.

Julie said...

Umfgh. I need to finish being motivated so I get through college all the way without failing out. I get about halfway super motivated and never reach the end. You are such a great writer. I envy.

Ruta said...

I need to finish my Christmas shopping, only about a week left and I have no gifts for anyone.

Lacey said...

I am the same way...I have half cleaned rooms, half finished to-do lists, half finished projects, half read books...the list could go on and on! And yet what am I doing with this wee bit of free time I have right now? Checking blogs and watching Bad Girls Club. Sigh.

chelsina said...

Well it's Week 15 so tomorrow I am finishing up conlaw by taking this fucking brutal exam. pray for me!

Jessica said...

I need to finish THIS DAMN SEMESTER!
and I need to finish strong, which requires me to actually study for my final that I have Friday.
After that I will be free- for three whole weeks!
Can't wait :)

English Rose ♥ said...

this is such a great post - i love the metaphor

such a great blog - would you like to exchange links?

Thanks for the lovely comment

Stay safe and chic darling
English Rose x
http://iamanenglishrose.blogspot.com

repliderium.com said...

I don't need to finish anything because I'm ridiculously compulsive and anal about getting shit done. I even annoy myself. I would lend you some of my close skills if I could. Hell, I'd shrink wrap mail them to you on my lunch hour.
ps- I use to own both a tarantula AND a python. The python ate mice so we can still be friends right?

Miss Caitlin S. said...

hahah you are seriously a wonderful writer! I love it. I need to finish my DIY project I keep putting off!!!

http://candyflosspersie.blogspot.com/

jayme said...

sometimes i even don't finish blog posts.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

repliderium- OH, HOW I WAS THAT WERE POSSIBLE. Sigh.

Katie said...

What do I need to finish? I either have to really like what I'm doing, or something important has to be riding on my not getting shit done.

Cleaning house is slightly different, because when the house gets too messy, I start having panic attacks and clean everything. But...yeah. I have a hard time finishing things, too, but even moreso I have problems getting things started to begin with. Oh, procrastination, you are my friend...

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