|1.||an extremely plentiful or oversufficient quantity or supply:an abundance of grain.|
|2.||overflowing fullness: abundance of the heart.|
|3.||affluence; wealth: the enjoyment of abundance.|
|4.||Physics, Chemistry. the number of atoms of one isotope of an element divided by the total number of atoms in a mixture of the isotopes.|
Notice that the definition isn't solely about possessions, or monetary value- but abundance of HEART. I love this. This year I am choosing to live ABUNDANTLY. Of heart, mind, spirit and sure, affluence too.
I noticed when I was talking about my resolutions- I don't like to call them that, cause they have this "DON'T BREAK ME" attitude which frankly, can be too damn much to live up to, but I digress- when I was choosing what I wanted my year to look like, I was cutting myself short, or deciding not to make a "Resolution" because it seemed like "too much." Or "too good to be true." OR, mostly- How the fuck do I actually plan on doing that? All of this was decided simply off the belief that in that PAST these resolutions were left unresolved. The minute you start to ask "HOW" when you look at your dream, you'll almost instantly decide otherwise. Because the how, or the why, or the WHAT IF.... are all abstract questions.
There are a million WAYS to any solution and outcome....you don't have to know how to have a dream, you just have to believe in it. The how reveals itself once you decide to get out of your head and look at the options in front of you.
...I was allowing my vision of future goals be determined by the outcome of past goals, when in reality both past and future are an illusion....All there is, is PRESENT and PRESENT choices, dreams. GOALS. Fulfillment.
We are not governed by our past unless we choose to be. We will be a victim to what life has to offer, if we have decided we have been victimized- as in, it's all a matter of perception. That's what it comes down to. So for 2010, I am going to refrain from saying, "I'm afraid that..." or even acknowledging that I've been struggling with anxiety, or panic- that to me, is no longer a real thing. I will refrain from saying "I hope...." Hoping, is really just a cushion... a window to allow a little disappointment in just in case it doesn't happen, you wouldn't need to hope for something if you decided to KNOW it instead. I will refrain from; saying hateful things about myself....talking to our bodies is no different than talking to a human, and if you tell a person you hate them- they're likely to hate you back. Why would that be any different from talking to yourself?
Making a resolution doesn't mean that in one day it is made, or broken- it's a lifestyle CHOICE. And that is what I like about the idea of ABUNDANCE..... you cannot measure abundance, it just is. One dollar to someone IS abundance, where a million to someone else is. A hug from your little sister is abundance to one, while to another a walk with their dog is their source of abundance. To some it's a full belly, or a packed social calendar- a room with a view, or a room at all. It isn't one day, or one moment- it's something that permeates through every thought, every action and every belief, every choice made from a perception that sees ABUNDANTLY. It's a choice of spirit; that thing that shines through you. Would I rather shine FULL and radiantly, or do I want my spirit to wreak of lack and discontent. Hi, no thanks.
I've decided, I HAVE CHOSEN to look at every year as getting BETTER and in turn, it does.
In 2009 I: Fell in love, spent more time with my family than I have in years, I went on tour, recorded a full length album, played more amazing shows than I can count, lived solely off of writing and my various talents, I camped and hiked, embraced Colorado with open arms, I partied and paddle boarded, I did yoga like a maniac, I moved into a new home, I rekindled friendships and started new ones. I coast hopped and planted roots. I LOVED my year. And I cannot wait for what 2010 has to bring.....
I know, we're human- we fall and worry, we doubt and judge. We look at our lives sometimes and say, "Why me" or "WHAT THE FUCK" but, I'll try my best this year to say, even during what looks like a big wall of adversity or uncertainty....that I am so happy and grateful that......after all, there's always a silver lining and that's where I'd prefer to avert my eyes.
WHAT IS YOUR "RESOLUTION?"