You know what's humbling?
Putting yourself in a situation that is completely foreign, unfamiliar and uncomfortable and saying, "what the hell, I'm gonna do this...," then gracefully stepping off the foundation that makes you feel so secure and trying something new. By going into something without knowing what to expect and without expectations on yourself- it makes you present- stripped bare of all ego, of all pretentiousness, you're there, fighting the natural urge to judge yourself when you look ridiculous.....it's very human and raw, when there's no more "perfect."
I took an aerial fabric class the other day, and let's be honest- I'm a fragile flower, I don't do things that "compress my wrists" or require the use of ROZEN. Uh, I take yoga- I'm peacey and wear stretchy paints and am sort of skinny/fat, thin with just the phantom outline of muscle tone. Ya hear? So when the bad-ass instructor informed me to "pull myself up with my upper body strength" I was like- fuck, do I look like Pink, can you just lift me up? Upper body strength.... I couldn't win a push up contest if there was a million dollars and gold encrusted truffles waiting at the finish line, presented on a silver platter by a man that looked Jake Gyllenhaal. With the promise of nookie afterwards. THAT, is how much upper body strength I do. not. have.
For future reference; I also don't do things that require unattractive foot wear, have a cold surface that could break my ass, require extensive clean-up (part of the reason I quit tennis, there were too many fucking balls to pick up), involve smelly rooms, raw meat, or require me to cover my shoulders (I'd like to make the decision myself.) Look, I've got standards.
Otherwise I'll end up running around wearing Teva's in a nursing home, covered in a crocheted fucking shawl, while hosting a craft session with steak shish kabobs as hors d'oeuvres.
...but I digress. I'm on a mission to kick my "perfectionist" in the ass, to not take life too-damn seriously all the time and to break the hypothetical walls I've built up around myself that are there so that I can "ideally"; be the best, look good, avoid failure, have an excuse, stay "comfortable," and be a passive observer in creating my reality. Sometimes, that just seems easier- because you know what to expect.
When you're always the one in control, you don't give yourself SPACE for error, or perhaps for something totally magical and life changing to happen.
I struggle with wanting to have everything turn out exactly the way I see it in my head, or "it isn't good enough" which is a mindset that really cuts you off from the spontaneous events that could fall into your lap.
This month, I'm taking on doing things that A. I've always wanted to do (because they scare me, seem challenging, or seem like a fucking lot of fun) or B. Erase the lines of what a "perfect scenario" is and throw myself 25,000 ft. from my comfort zone- completely knocked on my ass, ready to stand up, evaluate my new surroundings and say, "Damn, that was awesome- let's do it again."
Tomorrow I'm taking a Pole Dancing class and throughout the next couple months I'm going to; get acupuncture, take a pottery class, go ziplining (I LEAVE FOR HAWAII FRIDAY!), take a helicopter tour, swim in a waterfall, take a Greek cooking class, go on a hot air balloon ride, take a ballroom dancing class, become a mentor (what? I swear, I'm a good influence), start taking a series of meditation classes, crash an Indian wedding- I'm convinced they have the most beautiful weddings, but I need to crash one to find out, host a Couchsurfer, apply to a writing retreat to finish the musical I'm writing with My Love, take a spontaneous road trip...ANNND buy my first piece of art.
Basically, I'll be really fuckin' busy.
By changing up our usual patterns, you allow there to be room for growth, for excitement, for purely enchanting moments to occur. Or, you just end up with a bunch of bruises and sore laterals, but hey-that's better than ending up with an indentation of your ass on your leather couch.
"Do as you've always done, things will be as they've always been."....and even if I end up looking like a fool, I prefer the magical stuff.
WHAT'S SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU "UNCOMFORTABLE??"
Winner of the giveaway was... The Country Girl Takes on the City! and Dove deodorant winners; It's Unbeweavable, You'll Grow to Love Me, A Blonde Walks into a Blog, Nicole is Better