The last week has been a clusterfuck of awesomeness.
...the weekend ahead is going to be just as radical. I can feel it in my tiny little osteoporosis prone bones (I've really never been a fan of milk, unless it's in the form of cheese.)
The last blog, remember the one where I was broke and eating icecream (I like milk in that form too) caused a little bit of confusion as to what I really DO. Which, I guess I never really talked much about anything other than "freelancing," "gigging" and "drinking wine." Which is a career in itself, if only I didn't have a deviated septum I may have chosen the path of Sommelier, but I digress....
If you've gathered that I'm just a singer who sits on her yoga butt saying inspirational mumbo jumbo between bong hits, while swirling in the crisis that is"twentysomething life"- then I have misled you.
...I mean, I am all of that. I'm just multi-dimensional.
For the last three years I said goodbye to the retail stores, the restaurants, the assistant jobs and I've lived solely on freelance writing and MUSIC. I didn't want to embark on a "CAREER" somewhere because that would be stealing an opportunity from someone who actually wanted it, thus I was doing jobs people don't want to do (i.e. working at Lucky Strike for 4 months and feeding bowling monsters beers and wings. YACK.) And I've done other random things here and there.
Though that would have been great for some, it wasn't for me. I have a sharp tongue and a "three-monther" syndrome, I usually decide when I'm planning on quitting a job the day I start it. Hi, horrible character flaw, but at least it's decisive. I prefer having an end in sight when the job itself makes me want to chug coolant. It's sort of depression prevention, three months, max and move on- thus I have had about 6 thousand jobs since I was seventeen.
When I finally decided to freelance full time I was living in New York City; I worked for Guidespot.com, I freelanced for fashion photographers as an assistant for specific shoots, and I worked as a stringer briefly for OK! Magazine.
After my epic Europe trip, I decided to take on more online work, since my computer allowed me to tour, travel, and eat peanut butter with a spoon in the privacy of my own home- people stare when you do that in an office. I tried it.
NOW, I turned one random blog gig into an ever growing lineup of work. I write for 15+ websites- some of it is steady, contract work- while others are more freelance and not always consistent. I also teach acting and voice lessons. In between waiting for freelance checks to come through after I've spent my contract work money on bills, etc. and blueberry scones (and road trips to Vegas, HI BITCHES!) I make money singing....writing songs, playing with my band and so on. Which is quite often.
I think some of my readers were confused as to why I didn't have a "fucking job...." which I apologize for leaving holes in my story. I'm redefining what I believe a job should be, for me. Not for anyone else, we all have our own needs and requirements for what make us happy.
The thing with my Renaissance life is that it's a beautiful patchwork of things I LOVE to do. Of the things that give me freedom and don't tell me I can only be casual on Fridays. It's a patchwork of things that enhance my creativity, challenge me, and allow me to wake up in the morning and paint pictures of "my feelings" all day if it tickles my little fancy. So useless right? But that's not the point, the point is that if I desire something, I can do it. The ability to change the canvas of MY life is important to me.
I've woven together a perfect little security blanket, that leaves me just uncomfortable enough to continue STRIVING, working hard, kicking my ass and showing up again the next day for more until I'm the absolute best I can be at what I do. I get to call the shots and create new standards for what I expect from myself and my life at any given day......and that right there is perfection to me.
The GOAL itself changes all the time....but I ENJOY the journey, the random jobs, the silly articles, the gigs where you're playing for a bar of 6 people, 3 of which want to kick your ass, while the other three are lost at the bottom of a bottle of Jager. So glamorous right?
IT WORKS FOR ME.
It works for me because I know that this isn't the end...I will never be stagnant. I have too much nervous energy and lofty ideals. And I'm sort of a hotel snob, so clearly I have a future.
The point is this; whatever it is that you dream of doing shouldn't be a "hobby" if you wake up in the morning and you can taste it on the tip of your tongue. If your dream is your screensaver, your "free time," that book you always revisit and live vicariously through, if it's what you'd do if you KNEW you'd make money and succeed at it...then to me, it's something you should FOLLOW.
God, "The Universe," whatever you want to call it, doesn't show up like Will Ferrell in Superstar at the edge of your bed every night giving you "directions" but he/it/she/energy gives you INTUITION. The "inner map," your emotions, your thoughts, are the only things we really have that TELL us something.
If I didn't follow that- what would be the point?
If you believe in what you do, the money will come. If it's worked for one person, why couldn't it work for you?
DO YOU FOLLOW YOU "INNER ROAD MAP?" YOUR INTUITION?
P.S. IF YOU'RE GOING TO VEGAS, I CAN'T WAIT TO GIVE YOU AN ESKIMO KISS.