"Well, you always get back up and try again...."
I've always hated it when people would say that to me anytime I didn't "get" one of the many things I auditioned for; Lady Gaga, The Pussycat Dolls (don't judge, you all know you got turned on a little when you saw "Buttons" I mean, isn't that what we all want to do in some small way- turn the entire world on? Yes. Yes we do, especially if we're going to get to dance in flames, while wearing an outfit made of spandex and walking through a chandelier maze? wait? TANGENT), or that time I got demoted to the top of the stairwell in "pop choir" only to sing "Feed the Birds" while the other kids got to sing that Boyz II Men song....or the time Simon Cowell told me I wasn't "unique enough....," and the list goes on and on....
I always got the sad face, "Dust yourself off again..." or "She probably couldn't hack it." Look, here's the thing with dusting yourself off- and the reason for why I hate that phrase:
What the hell else are we supposed to do when we fall down? Lay there in the dirt and hope we can find a 6-month old Twinkie, a nickel and that damn sock you've been looking for under the couch, while we watch everyone else step over our defeated body and onto their LIVES?
No, we don't deserve any pity or medals for trying again- we try again because WE are the ones who determine whether we're going to stay in on the ground, paralyzed by disappointment and fear/regret, or get up and walk onto better opportunities, people, homes,....and careers as talk show hosts, or Madonna reinvented. Or what have you.
There will always be times when we want to lay on the floor, in our despair, in our new town of victimhood- when we want to eat unnecessary third helpings and catch up on Bewitched and childhood and everything that was "supposed to fucking happen!!!! damnit." And sometimes, that's OK.
It's OK to feel bad for ourselves every now and then- because sometimes we just want someone to stroke our heads and give us permission to have a root beer float and "play hooky" from life until we can face it's big gnarly grin with an equally big mean mug and gold knuckles. And battle wounds that make us look all tough and "unique."
I've played hooky...I've taken my hall pass and checked out from life every now and then cause we weren't getting along- and it threw me powerful curve balls, that had some sting on 'em. But I "check out" like a vacation...not permanently.
I had a teacher say to me once, "You don't TRY to pick up the chair, you either pick it up or you don't."
We don't TRY to "make life work" we get up in the morning, we set our intentions and we MAKE it HAPPEN. Whatever it is that doesn't feel like it's working....keep getting up, keep getting at it....either DO, or stay on that floor. It's one or the other. We gotta keep on keepin' on...life is so much better when we aren't face down staring into the matted carpet. That view gets old.
As many of you saw on Twitter and Facebook, I made a video to try out to be a host on Oprah's new network OWN, so many of you voted and tweeted and I'm beyond grateful.
In case you didn't see it- I want to create a TV show for Oprah that profiles 20somethings/30somethings living their best lives....NOW; how do they do it, how can WE do it, what do they do- who are they; bloggers, ahem-I'll be talking about you all A LOT and entrepreneurs, artists, travelers, mom's, wives, and everything else in between.
I want there to be a talk show for our generations that is empowering, inspired, honest and completely "talks smack..." with a dose of Oprah magic. And maybe some wild show where I get Jake Gyllenhaal to agree to greet every woman, just once, on a rainy day, shirtless (er, naked) with french toast in bed- since dreams do come true.
I need as many votes as I can get to get the attention of Oprah, the producers and readers/viewers, etc. I would be BEYOND grateful if you would vote, you don't need to register or anything- just click the green button!
Link to vote: HERE
You all have always been wildly supportive and loving, so THANK YOU THANK YOU. I'll stop whoring myself out now- but if I win maybe I'll be able to buy my whole audience cars. Wait...
I'm "trying again" because I want to live a life IN MOTION, a life where my feet are tired and my brain is full, but my heart is equally bursting and I'm going somewhere- but the travel time is just as exciting. A life in motion that's watching change happen outside it's car window rapidly, but always sure that you're safe and have a direction, a destination in mind and a secure transportation (unless it's My Love's old car, or a pissed off donkey.)
I'll spend the next three weeks of the voting period visualizing sitting on a couch, with Oprah- and her welcoming me to her team. Then I'll make out with Nate Berkus, I'll have tea with Gayle, I'll jump on shit with Tom Cruise, I'll make a pretty rose bouquet from Oprah's garden, I'll take family photos with her dogs, and I'll have a 20something book club with a cute emblem on the books and magazines with my face on it. AND REALLY REALLY FABULOUS SHOES.
...wow- I will want to hug her and say, THANK YOU for being so powerful and smart and innovative....and for bringing us Dr. Oz because now I no longer have the desire to Google weird symptoms and I'll never, ever, be curious about what my colon looks like....cause he did an episode on that. Yes, thank you.
If/when I get my own talk show, we're having the baddest meet-up ever, hi future studio audience!!!!
What would YOU like to see talked about on a 20/30something talk show????