Thursday, September 16, 2010

You know what builds me up? LOSING IT A LITTLE BIT IN A BLOG POST. Wee!


I think it'll sting for awhile....

....every time I hear something from him it's like pulling at the edges of a healing scab and each time it scars a little bit. It's like taking a bloody, open wound and marinating yourself in sea salt. Rub it on, baby, I can take it.

There's really no sensitive way for someone to tell you that they, in essence, stopped loving you enough. Loving you enough to continue working at your relationship, looking in your direction, reminding you that you were adored and still the apple of their eye. I suppose he could've said something worse than, "At the end, I was just exhausted, and couldn't keep going. Our relationship made me tired, and did not build me up the way it built you up......"

Notice how there's nothing about how it exhausted me? How it broke me down?

You're right, it was probably exhausting towards the end, when you'd pulled so far away from me that I clung to the glimpses and bits of you that I still had, because I knew eventually those would be gone too. There were tiny morsels of you that I devoured, because I was starving, lacking nourishment, and hydration from you. You're right, it was probably exhausting to sip a beer and ignore the cell phone while you were perched at the bar stool, worn from packs of cigarettes and drunken lullaby's, and to figure out how to send a simple text message letting me know you weren't dead in a gutter somewhere at 4am, while I would lay in bed all too familiar with the outline of where you should've been sleeping. You're right, you were probably exhausted. You were probably exhausted to see that when you were available for me for just a MOMENT, you were mostly talking me back down from a ledge..... one that you'd pushed me to, every time you stopped letting me in, meeting my halfway, meeting me at all. Every time your priorities, your dreams, your needs were put in front of mine, I stepped one step closer to the the deep end of us.... It was probably exhausting keeping me around when you stopped having space for me in your life, you're right.

But there's one bit of that sentence that I really can't get and this is where your definition of "building up" and mine are radically different.

Did I not build you up for two years by encouraging, supporting your dreams.....grabbing you by the shoulders when you needed a good come to Jesus meeting, when you were doubting your ability to create and I'd look you in the eye and say, "I believe in you. You are not giving up.... " or I'd say, "Baby, everything is going to work out, you're amazing." Did it not build you up to give you a heart and an ear that weren't judging you, but listening, lovingly- did it not build you up to be the one thing that was always safe, steady, available and unyielding in my loyalty and belief in you?

Did it not build you up for me to polish a silver platter, with my friends, my connections, my life, all neatly placed in pretty little compartments and set it on your lap, all for the taking.

If by "not building you up" means, that that recording studio you work at, that tour you went on- weren't anchored from friendships and intros I gave you (happily) and pushed for and encouraged you to pursue...... if that's the definition of "not building you up" by taking everything I knew you wanted and saying, "HERE. HAVE IT." then I'm at a loss.

Maybe it's this part....maybe it's the part about giving you a place to live, a car to drive, food to eat, a phone, vacations, a family that adored and loved you unconditionally....that was probably really. exhausting. right?

Maybe I missed something in that department where one "builds another up...." so let me lay out just exactly what exhausted ME......how about what didn't build ME up?

How about all of the times your plans trumped mine, your music, your career, your need to "be inspired" at the expense of me-your late nights, your inability to communicate, your past, your fears of inadequacy and failure. It was exhausting cheering you on from the sidelines and being overlooked. It was exhausting to quiet that little voice inside my head that told me
"something wasn't right...." and to nod along when you said, "Beeboo, I'll never leave you- you can trust me, I'll love you forever."...it was exhausting knowing that you were only going to mean that as long as it was convenient for you.

I know you're aware that you didn't have "what it takes to support a female...." and that you thought you did...and I appreciate that admission. But really, all of this wasn't about ME....it was about YOU.

So this next time around I'm going to find what will build ME up.....
the next man I'm with won't look at caring for me as a "chore." I won't need to beg him to take me on a date, or stick around after dinner.....I won't need to worry that his eyes are wandering in the direction of other women's hearts and beds. This next time around I will be built up by a man who has a foundation strong enough for me to stand on- one that he's proud of, with carefully measured ingredients that make up that of hard work, honesty, passion, loyalty, motivation....follow through and kindness. But where the "real stuff" is, the stuff that matters- he'll be able to see....he'll be able to recognize what "wonderful" really means in his life and it won't be measured by hours, charts, an audience, or accolades...but it will be made up of his family, his LOVE, the way he LIVES and his character.

The next time around, I won't spend all of my time doing hard labor to build him up.....we will both, brick by brick work together.... building something with legs, affection, stability and gratitude.




WHAT "BUILDS YOU UP" IN A RELATIONSHIP?














62 comments:

Habbala said...

Holy Hell lady. You are 100% writing what I felt/feel about my break up.

Let's see... what builds me up is someone who isn't afraid of taking a risk and jumping. I am SO TIRED of men who wear the "Afraid of Commitment" tag around like a badge of honor. No one is impressed by your cowardice. I am impressed with someone who is fearless.

melifaif said...

So beautifully and heart wrenchingly written. I am at a loss, other than to say, I pray all of this is BUILDING YOU BACK UP!!!! Much love and many blessings to you....

Barbara said...

Let it out girl! :) I can completely understand.

Brian A. Frederick said...

Unfortunately the common trend, though possibly not a recent trend, but a trend none the less: is for women to pursue those who need a proverbial tune up in life. It's as if, the more a guy looks like he's homeless or if his style reflects someone who gave up after their sophmore year of high school, the more attractable he is to women. This, leaves guys like me, sitting cross armed in the corner growing more cynical, hoping that just once the pretty girl with the d-bag charity case will look his way in awe like she does when she's tying his shoes and pulling up his socks.

It's not your fault. I mean, those guys talk a good game. Their mother's have been nurturing that same game for years; it's become all too natural for them to project it on other women.

It's good you're out now. It could have ended up that you'd have a few children, no lover, no companion, because you'd spend your entire time taking care of everyone but yourself.

Just keep these things in mind when you're out on the prowl again. Look for the guys in the corner, we've spent our lives building a foundation adequate to hold others. We want a partner, a sidekick - not another mother. Great post, I'm always impressed with how you put yourself out for others and enjoy it all. Good luck!

Ms. Co-dependent said...

What builds me up is when I almost burn the kitchen down for the third time in two weeks and I'm sitting on the kitchen floor crying because I can't cook for shit, he kneels down in front of me, kisses my forehead, holds me close, and takes me to Wendy's.

And I'm glad you are taking such a stand. It's hard to build something all by yourself. Go out there and get what YOU deserve.

Jenny DB said...

You gave wayyy too much of yourself to him.. no kind of reciprocity. Easy to say from an outsider looking in, harder to see from the inside. anyway, i loved the rant. good to get it out. learn and grow. etc.

Erica said...

know this feeling, hate it. gonna blog something in this same vein soon....the worst part is that you probably had some sort of intuition that the shit would hit the fan. it's fucking frustrating when someone is so shitty and just DISHONEST in what they can give you....and when the truth comes to light you feel truly betrayed. i am sorry for this deep pain and i see it reflected in myself. he's a pussy, plain and simple.

P said...

I think what would build me up is a guy who saw me as a priority, who thought the world of me and let me know that as often as possible.

I'm still waiting for that, sadly.

Brilliant blog post, hon. And *hugs*.

Jamie said...

Emailed you, miss lady.

Stevie said...

I could've written this exact post 3 years ago. You're so much better off without him. You deserve so much better and I'm glad that you KNOW that. As much as I hate using trite expressions, hindsight really is 20/20. I'm so glad you're moving into a place of happiness and making your life better!

Nuit said...

OH HELL to the YES!!!!

Totally agree with you Chelsea bb.

x

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

habbala- SO WELL SAID, I agree 110% I want that too.....

melifaif- thank you so much :)

Barbara- DEEP BREATH, LETTING IT OUT!

Brian- Ah, yes.....interesting and well said indeed. But see, I thought he was "that guy in the corner" when I met him...truly. I loved him so much for a reason, it just didn't end the way that I would've hoped.
I will definitely continue to look for that "guy in the corner" though- or perhaps the one that isn't in the corner and just wants all the things you described so well....how about I just look for a solid, good guy? That's a good plan. :)

ms co-dependent- ADORE that, a guy who knows when its time for Wendy's is a winner ;)

JennyDB- in hindsight, yes indeed- I did. It wasn't that way the entire time we were together, to be fair...and when youre that far in and you believe it's going to last forever, you assume that the return will find its way to you, eventually.

Erica- yes, I did have that intuition.....ugh. I know you've gone through it, are going through, have dealt with it, and are continuing to, I know you know that ache- and I hate that we both have had to feel it, and not jsut us, but most people at some point- it's disheartening, scary, hard to not approach the next relationship with a little hesitation. The betrayal is the worst in hindsight...lalala. You're amazing. Let us both heal and shine and love deeply again. xo,


p- oh girl, he will come.

Jamie- going to read it... :)

Stevie- thank you so much dear. xoxo.

Doniree said...

What builds me up is falling head over heels for someone who didn't need fixing, and it was only after I'd spent too much time with someone who DID that I realized how desperately I wanted and needed another whole person. When me building you up and you building me up in turn strengthens us both more and more and doesn't wear on anything, then that's what I want.

Chelsea, you deserve absolutely nothing but a firm foundation to stand on and from which to build.

I don't care how many bricks you have, how much concrete you sling, how strong your walls are - if you lack FOUNDATION, it will eventually crumble.

Here's to finding friends, lovers, and companions with strong foundations from which we can build tall, strong, beautiful homes in the hearts of.

Sassy Molassy said...

All true statements, Chelsea. You deserve to find someone who doesn't see the relationship and keeping it healthy a chore. What builds me up is someone who tells me I'm beautiful when I look gross, who has nicknames for me, who does subtle things because he remembers I like them just so, someone who wants to be in that relationship even when the shit hits the fan. Hang in there, sister!

Mel-Rox said...

I think he needs to read those exact words that you wrote. He needs to hear what you have to say. Make it your final closure.

Anyway. I'm not the person to be asking about what builds them up in a relationship as I'm wandering around what the hell is going one right now.

Summer said...

I think you deserve so much better, because you're fucking awesome.

I loved every word of this post. You easily spilled out thoughts I've had difficulty putting into words. This is a place I'm at right now in my marriage. I think when you love someone, building them up comes so easy. Then one day you look up and realize they weren't building up shit. They were taking so much, and hardly giving back.

DShan said...

There's something of a magic to the perspective that a post-relationship experience gives you. It profoundly changes your perspective on not just your own heart and decisions, but every single person in your life and the people who may enter it tomorrow. I mean, what's the fucking deal with hindsight, right? Could there be a more inconvenient educator?

Thing is, you just have to trust yourself, give yourself a break, and except that hindsight always wins and you'll never get it perfect and the people who are fucking up your world or undermining your foundations are in their own tailspin of it's own severity and you sit on a bench in front of something pretty, take a deep breath, and take in the fact that 'okay...so that fucking happened'.

And you're still standing, and he (or she) may not be, but you're still standing, and you have everything you went into the relationship with...it's just all shifted around and a little swollen here or there, but you know you like you and that's where you start. Or you don't like little bits of you and you start with the bits you like and you work on the ones you don't. A boy (or girl) comes along and likes lots of your bits. Wants to jump in the ring...help you on the bits you want help on.

All in all, this is life, I think. We move through lessons to the point at which a relationship (the forever one) is about learning them together in full. The lessons never stop though. We find perfection in the fact that imperfection is constant, and a way to live among it sans destruction becomes the symphony of true love.

I'm starving and need a hamburger, if anyone got to the bottom of this diatribe.

Sarah Nicole said...

I agree with Summer. You do deserve so much better because you are amazing.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Doniree- SO WELL SAID, this, "What builds me up is falling head over heels for someone who didn't need fixing" I havent really thought of that....but its an interesting point to consider. Thank you for being a serious strong foundation for me in our friendship, doll. xo.


sassy molassy- the "beautiful when gross" thing is huge- my ex was good about that, and hopefully the next guy will be too. :)

Mel-Rox- I'm sure he will at some point, sending an email just further opens communication and there's nothing more to be said at this point.... there's moments when I feel like I want to call him, or text, when my strength is waning- but it won't change anything, it wont' change him, or us, or our situation....so, blogging is the way to go :)

Summer- YES, when you love someone building them SHOULD come easily, agreed.

Dshan-

Again, you slay me with your comments. So much truth and perspective. I've sat on the bench and I've certainly taken it all in, sigh....deep breath Chels.....

THIS, is what I'm excited for with the next one and nervous about, "A boy (or girl) comes along and likes lots of your bits. Wants to jump in the ring...help you on the bits you want help on." And then that last paragraph, since you did in fact write multiple paragraphs on my blog, hence another reason why I think your comments rock- that last PARAGRAPH, should be on a hallmark card. Because it's perfect.

You eat a lot of hamburgers, yo.

Kristin said...

You deserve a PARTNER lady. Someone who nurtures your hopes and dreams as much as you do his!

Sizzle said...

This is such an important thing to be clear on. It absolutely sucks that such clarity comes from heartbreak but take it and run with it because that man with that foundation to stand on? He exists out there for you.

I'm built up by openness and the willingness to pus through the hard spots. I always tell Mr. Darcy, it's not that we argue but how we get THROUGH the argument that matters. Respect is key.

Lindsey said...

Wow! Kudos to you for laying it all out there. I love the statement about being the person that won't judge. It is amazing to find that in a relationship. Why is it so hard for humans not to?

Michelle said...

Good for you, girl. Stay strong.

Lanny said...

It's a beautifully hard lesson to learn. I have compassion for where you're coming from. This is a common thing in which we give and give and leave nothing to ourselves. We cannot look for someone to build us up, while we empty ourselves for them. I'm glad you've learned now that our job is not to hold the other person up while they let us fall.

By giving all of ourselves away, we leave ourselves open to accepting scraps and crumbs of what they throw at us, when in reality, we are worth so much more.

The next time around, it won't be the same because you will always look out for yourself first, then love the other. If we are not able to fully love ourselves, how can another love us?

Good insight and keep moving forward!

San said...

Wow, just wow, Chelsea.

You put so eloquently what is so hard to put in words.

Yes, every relationship needs a foundation. A foundation that is built from mutual trust, motivation and respect.

He didn't respect you. He used your unconditional love for his own advancement.

Go find that man with the solid foundation to stand on. You deserve it.

Kern said...

Perfect!

myuncensoredlife said...

I love every part of this. Especially this:

This next time around I will be built up by a man who has a foundation strong enough for me to stand on

Amen sistah! Cheers to those kind of men!

Chelsea said...

I just wanted to thank you for writing this and being so open about your feelings. I went through a breakup of my own a few months ago. We were together for two years and there are still days where I feel horrible. He just started dating someone else and although it hurts, I am trying hard to keep it in my mind that he still has the same flaws no matter what and that I know how to build a healthier happier relationship in the future. You are so inspiring <3

Lily said...

Wow, I'm glad you're not in this relationship anymore. Sounds like you were doing so much for him, at the expense of yourself. There were times when you were exhausted, and not getting something equal in return. Why was that? Were you articulating your needs? Did you know what they were? Or did he just not meet your needs and you let that slide? If so, why? (Don't feel obligated to answer, btw.) The good thing that will come out of this is: you'll have time to be by yourself, get to know yourself, and have a better sense of what you want in a relationship. (Not crazy about Brian's advice either - he sounds too much like a Nice Guy (TM) who doesn't have enough confidence in HIMSELF to think that he could be accepted by someone else that he has to throw out barbs like... well, his first two paragraphs.)

Ashleigh Haney said...

go honey, go. You're talented as hell. Put all that effort back into your heart, and what makes YOU glow and sparkle and love. Put into music, sister. $100 bucks says you write the album that makes your career.

Ashleigh Haney said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Homeslice said...

Wow Chelsea - this sounds like me, verbatim, many moons ago. There I was in this relationship with a man who was trying to "make it" without a pot to piss in. I was there every step of the way to build him up, inspire him, motivate him, and pick up all of the tabs along the way.  In return, I was rewarded with hours of waiting while he would hang with his friends topped with never really being "let in" to his world. The precedent had been set that I would give and he would take.

The result was I became resentful that my selfless giving was not reciprocated, and that I could never really turn to him when I needed something.  We broke up. After starting communication again, I made the realization that because I was doing all of the heavy lifting, he really felt like he had nothing to contribute, which made him horribly insecure.  Though he would never admit the insecurity, it was expressed in making friends a priority, and not wanting to get too close - all leading me to ask myself "I am everything...why doesn't he want to hang out with me?" the answer was - he had nothing to take pride in with us. Have you ever had a job that you were just really bad at & knew you couldn't succeed in, therefore it seemed like so much effort? 

Flash forward to seven years later - three of which we have been married. After a lot of honesty, wall breaking and rebuilding, we were able to cut through the clutter of my trying too hard and his insecurities. I had to learn to hold back sometimes when I wanted to give him the world, or pick up a tab.  I had to give him opportunities to contribute so that we would both feel balanced. The balance eventually crushed all resentment and insecurity.

Now that I have rambled endlessly, my point is not to equate your situation to mine, but to express while it is beautiful to be so enduringly giving with the intentions of building someone up, it can ultimately crush them because they cannot reciprocate. Balance, balance, balance...  

Dr. Cynicism said...

Preach it!! Pardon my language here, but it just seems like one of the most fitting things to say... "Fuck. Him." Am I right? Can I get a hell yea?

Build elsewhere. You don't even need permits, just find a really great contractor. :-)

lovesofmylife said...

Oh girl, I feel so much of this.. I'm going through so many of the same feelings right now.

And the truth is, I don't know. I started this little project to try to figure out what keeps going wrong in my relationships... to try and figure out what I really need to look for in my next one. I hope I figure something out soon, because as of now, I'm still lost.

Alexis said...

Well said, all around, dear!

I like to know that someone isn't trying to "fix" me. Someone that will just hold my hand & listen if I have a problem or I'm having yet another panic attack. Someone that doesn't see my anxiety as a problem in a relationship, just something to help me continue to deal with. Because I'm not trying to "fix" him so why should he do that to me?

Women are so naturally giving & supportive to all their loved ones (not just their men) & some guys just don't understand it enough to accept it or even reciprocate. You'll know that a man (keyword: man) is worth keeping around when he can accept your grace & love & turn around to honor you for giving them so freely.

You're lovely, Chels.

itsybitsyknitsy said...

AMEN! Good strong post! What builds me up is the same as most - that I will find someone with a "strong foundation to build me up". Also, in a sick little way - knowing that noone will ever build him up the way I did (the ex). He will never have it that good again ahha.

mn said...

girl, if he's so tired n.o.w, can you imagine later. don't bother talking to him. he's history. you are the future. and you are doing great! :)

littlemissjuicy said...

my ex said the same thing to me. he got tired by our relationship. for the love of me, i cannot understand.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Relationships are so hard.

Ellen@FirednFabulous said...

This is so good. And so true. It's really important to find a SECURE guy. Insecure people are just downers by nature...even unintentionally. You need to find your equal...someone who feels DESERVING of you. And you will. What builds me up? The support of my boyfriend every single day. Telling me that I'm special and that I can do ANYTHING. He says it with such conviction that I'm starting to believe it. My life is all over the place at the moment, so yeah, it's really nice to have that one constant in my life. You'll find it, too. I'm so glad you know what you deserve because so many women don't!

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

and that ladies and gentlemen is a fucking rant worth reading.

i hope you feel better after posting that. and seriously have fun building yourself back up i'm sure it won't take long.

liadaniele said...

Damn girl. Good for you. That strong foundation is out there somewhere, waiting for you. Can't wait to read all about you finding him. Hang in there! <3

Dezzy Lou Where Are You said...

Can't put into words how empowering it is to just read your words. The anger stage is a fun one when you start taking your life back-pretty happy for you, girl!

Robin said...

I do believe that you have crossed the line. You are seeing this relationship more clearly. Let the healing begin. Sometimes it takes a while for rose colored glasses to come off and see things how they really were, but you have done it. I really hope you threw them on the ground and stepped on them really hard. Now you see things as they really are. The only direction to go now is up. Good for you!!!

Fabulous Terrah said...

Amen.

bmouse said...

"What it takes to support a female..."
seriously? A 'female'? WOW, talk about a warning flag. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Jodi Elizabeth said...

love your blog! honest, relatable, well written, and mature.
really glad i found you, cant wait to read more.
check out my blog if you can, im just getting started and could always use a follower.
xo
j

Anna said...

You sound like you are getting stronger. For that I am glad :) I always enjoy reading your blog post. They are so meaty and rich. They always touch me.

I'm going through some of this "stuff" lately also. Mine is different in that I wasted a year waiting around for him to get his stuff together. I believed his actions and not his words when I should have done the opposite. Then after all the waiting and all the support and all the thinking of his needs and sacrifice he decided he wanted to get it together with another girl. Bleck.

I hope you continue getting stronger and I hope the scab eventually closes over for good.

Felisa said...

I'M APPLAUDING!
Sadly, it's the fiercest and the strongest women I know who end up in this dilemma of getting caught up with the guy who needs nurturing but has nothing to give in return. We feel like we're so strong, we don't need someone to build us up... We think if we gave the adorably insecure guy the stability he didn't have, all will end well. But somewhere down the road you realize that he's not just some slightly insecure guy, he's a parasite with no fucking backbone. Even though you WERE strong and didn't need strength from someone when you met him, he has zapped you of all your energy and strength.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOO......
Is it too obvious this struck a personal chord?!

What WILL build me up in a relationship someday is not necessarily someone who doesn't need any nurturing but is willing to reciprocate what I can give and what I will give. When I love and care about someone, I give it the fierceness that I give anything else in my life that I love and if he can reciprocate that, I couldn't ask for more.

And as for you Ms Talks Smack, everything I'm hoping for for myself I'm hoping for you too. Not that you need to be reminded or told but you deserve so much better and WILL have so much better for sure in the future.

L.L. said...

The only person you can ever rely on to "build you up" is you. Ever. Period. Find someone who is content to let you build and helps you get it done.

Stephany said...

New reader here. I'm not sure about everything that went on in your relationship but I will say that this was so beautifully written.

I think I've found out that I need to be happy with myself and content in who I am first, before I can ever think of being with someone else. I need to be confidant in my abilities and talents, so I don't depend on some guy to build me up through this. (And I am SO.NOT.SAYING you were like this, this is just me speaking.) I just know I shouldn't depend on a guy to give me confidence because that comes from within, not from hearing "You're beautiful." I need someone I feel safe with and completely trust. I need someone who makes me laugh and reaffirms my beliefs. I need someone I can easily talk to and feel comfortable around fighting with.

terra said...

What builds me up in relationships is mutual trust & respect, saying yes to crazy things together, being unafraid to be my silliest because I know he'll love me regardless, and the occasional foot massage :)

Kudos to you for this great and wonderful post!

Jessica (Bayjb) said...

You go girl, way to put it out there. I relate so much to what you're saying. Also, it was amazing to see you this week, next time we'll hang out MORE! Keep me posted on your news.

Phoenix said...

Can I say "Fuck YEAH" on this blog? Because I just did.

You've become even stronger and more kick ass these past few months and I'm so freakin' proud of you. You know what builds me up? Blog posts like this - we build each other up as our own little community and your posts are always so inspiring and honest.

hannahjustbreathe said...

I think the last line of this blog post says it all. Because really, ultimately, a woman builds herself up. A man builds himself up. Our foundation is our own.

The moment we believe otherwise---the moment we try to live otherwise---is when we begin to topple, paper brick by paper brick.

Lauren said...

Beautifully written. I've been there before -- many, many times. Where I give and give and give until I have nothing left to give and all he does is take and take and take some more. Walking all over me. Breaking me down as I'm building him up.

Step out. Because you deserve just as much (if not more) than what you put in. It takes time, but be comfortable with yourself on your own so that next time...NEXT TIME...you won't settle and you'll be able to kick him to the curb if he behaves with familiarity.

Hearts and Hugs.

Elizabeth Marie said...

I love this. I love you. I can't wait to see where we are in 2 months when I can actually HUG YOU. I die.

You are SUCH an inspiration I can't even handle it :)

Sparkle Magic said...

I really enjoy reading your blog.
I am a fairly new reader, but what I gather from your post is that he had issues with being able to "provide" in the relationship. Maybe he felt exhausted by your building him up. He could have actually seen it as you doubting him, like you thought you needed to encourage him because he couldn't make it on his own. He also might have felt guilty about all the things you gave up for him and felt indebted to you. However, I think he should have stayed with you and worked on your issues instead of running away. In no way am I taking his side, I am just offering a possible explanation.

I agree with everyone who said that you should take this time for yourself. Work on building yourself up so that when Mr. Right does come along, you both will be complete people on your own, coming together to have something super great. Two people do not make up 100%, they make up 200%! :)

Lisa Griffin said...

wow you are an incredible writer...and i think everyone sympathizes with you and knows that there is something, someone, SO MUCH BETTER for you, that you deserve, and that actually deserves you:)
www.indramaticfashion.com

Audrey Amy said...

Well said.

sandyb said...

Honestly? This part of your post had me worried, a bit:
"This next time around I will be built up by a man who has a foundation strong enough for me to stand on"

... I was like, "why does HE have to build her up at all? she's a gutsy chick, she can manage.

....but you ended the post on a more confident note, which i was happy to see - you're a smart young woman (i read your blog as often as i can) and by no means do you need a dude to build anything - you've got your own arsenal of tools.

stay cool girl.

Meeks said...

Preach.
Someday, you will meet that man who truly wants to be your partner. And who will build you up merely by being there and loving the shit out of you, even when you're being a jackass. I promise.
But first? You have to build yourself up. Because holding up another person with no help is a lot to ask.

 
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