Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Smack Talking Holiday Post... Where's the spiked eggnog?
Oh hello little sugarplums.
...Ah, take a sip of that eggnog and just soak it in, eh?
I know some of you are caught up in a frenzy of travel plans, ribbon curling and Figgy Pudding concocting- while #reverbing and 2011 planning- perhaps you've even created an E-card and Elfed yourself and your family members doing a kickline to La Cucaracha. Oh yes, I'm aware that all of this is occurring... I've sipped that Kool-Aid. Spiked with a little glee.
But fear not, while there's a large number of you last-minute Christmas shopping and over-nighting that "perfect personalized Etsy" find for your best friend, there are others...there are "thee others" so to speak, the ones who are eating a tube of raw cookie dough and watching reruns of Snapped instead of actually baking and mouthing along to every line in The Christmas Story. Don't worry, "others" I gotchu.
With the end of the year always comes transition; some of you are celebrating the accomplishments of 2010, while others are lamenting it and hoping for a better "redo." Some of you are falling in love, forging new relationships and pouring foundations together, while others are not-so-patiently twiddling your thumbs and hoping that perhaps under that mighty Evergreen there's indeed a special present for you....someones heart and attention, with a bow on top, instead of a cherry.
Perhaps Mom's Christmas Village seems smaller this year and the sound of the automated 'Ho Ho Ho' from the toy Santa in your entry way is more irritating than it is jolly. Maybe this year those thick wool socks that you've pulled over your frostbitten toes are really looking for their woolly "better half" to find their way to each other under the anticipation of a throw blanket, a new romance and a hot toddy. The mistletoe may hang haphazardly in your doorway, while the 20pack of Christmas cards you intended to fill out remain unopened....but somewhere, somewhere in there that little Grinch has a heart that is more than two sizes too small.
....Why yes, in fact, the reason all this expectant merriment is really busting your chops is simply because; you KNOW that JOY is what you SHOULD feel, you're just heinously "off center" from actually feeling it.
You aren't Bitter Christmas Barbie the Millennial Edition because misery is a "fun" past time. You aren't sneering at children clutching onto candy canes with their sweaty childreny hands because you hate children and candy canes- no, no, you fucking LOVE candy canes- but you've been too caught up worrying about what brand of eco-friendly disinfectant wipes to buy, that you forgot that the delicious seasonal candy was even present at the damn party.
You aren't looking for ways to squash joy- joy is what you crave, what you DESIRE- what you NEED, it's the Pimp Juice of life- you aren't boycotting JOY, you've simply gotten too caught up in the Ghosts of Christmas Past and life's little Scrooges.
While you may be knee-deep in wrapping paper and slushy snow, or perhaps you're wading through a puddle of confusion, anticipation, fear and regret- here's my little holiday present to you;
This holiday I hope that every gift you open brings that extra glimmer across your face that only the best of gifts can bring- and while you may be opening a "thing," I hope that the gift you open with the most gusto is your HEART. I hope that while you're filling yourself with savory morsels and sweet treats that you're also feasting on the things that nourish and sustain your "most perfect life." While you sing along to carols in your toasty car and you draw hearts with your mitten hands on the foggy window- I hope you also whistle to your own little tune- pa rum pa pum. pum. For every old tradition, I wish you a new one. For every Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen- I wish you that spirit that shines like a light bulb, and for every Reindeer game you can't figure out how to play....I wish you a game that's all your own. For the "Elf's" and the Ernests', The Land of Misfits and the little rebels who are Home Alone, I wish you radical acceptance, even if it's only YOU who "gets it." For every Miracle on 34th Street, I wish you a miracle on whatever street, ocean, aircraft, spaceship you happen to be on.
...And for every lesson learned in 2010, every disappointment, every accomplishment- I wish you a new year full of just as many, "oh shit" moments, happy tears, sad tears, "FUCK YEAHS!" and visits to the drawing board- I wish you colorful lives, where they all may "even say you glow."
Like a light bulb.