Friday, December 31, 2010

Turns out I did learn a few things this year..... while only 40% sober.


Before I get drunk in my sweatpants, let's reflect.... apparently, I did learn a couple things this year.

I endured; a heartbreak. I explored; new dreams, new opportunities. I moved. I started a new job. I experienced the support of all of you, when I needed love the most. I defined and redefined my standard of happiness. I was reminded of things I already knew...but apparently didn't trust enough. I tore down my vision board. I embraced my sexuality, proudly. I tried, and tried again.... and I learned:

No amount of crying will ever make you
ACTUALLY CRUMBLE, and sometimes that's the worst part. If someone offers, let them. It's okay to let people "carry your weight" when you can't- it feels good to let someone show up for you- they'll appreciate it just as much as you do. Be mindful in those moments right after you scream so loud you think your windows will shatter, just before you burst a vein or your vocal chords start bleeding, right after you've poured buckets of heavy aching- for it's in the pool of silence that hangs in the air afterwards that your spirit lets out a roar too and despite the screaming, despite the pain, you are a motherfucking Lion and from the depths of your being you will remain a capable, warrior and prove your strength and resilience.

Sometimes alcohol is the answer. So are; endless hours of yoga, fake eyelashes, sharing inordinate amounts of food with friends and strip clubs. You are not a weapon, even when you feel like your emotions are the most dangerous thing to hold onto, remember that you are a human being and regardless of how volatile you are now, you are, at your core much more dynamic than an explosive adjective. It's okay if you didn't meet Jay-Z this year- (fuck yea, I have goals) instead of getting boggled down in "time," give yourself a break- trust that you'll have enough of it to do what you're really meant to do.

Call a spade a spade. It'll save you a lot of time. When someone tells you who they are hear them and respond accordingly. There isn't a bucket for everything; life isn't black and white- learn to be comfortable with shades of gray, or else you may end up disappointed. Do what you do best, the best you possibly can- let other people shine in the respective areas; we all have our strengths. Just because you blog doesn't mean you have to wear all the hats- not all of us are consultants, or brand enthusiasts, we aren't all "social sages" or networkers. DO YOU. I'm a writer. I blog because I love to write, because I love the community, because I love making people feel some sort of emotion- I'll keep doing that...and I'll ask for a little assistance with all that other stuff and you know what? That's OKAY.

Be okay with asking, don't get discouraged by the first "no." Or the fifth. And so on.
When you're having a hard time figuring out the solution, take your ego out of the equation and revisit it. If you don't remember what your dreams are, read your journal from when you were eleven, you'll probably get a nice reminder. If you're following your passion, expect the road ahead to be a little less than traditional and sit comfortably with that, when you start to question; maybe I should have roots? Maybe I shouldn't move across the country? Maybe I should have a backup plan? Maybe I should be content with predictable? Instead of trying to justify why you should stay unhappy, honor your desires and stop delaying your bliss.

Ultimately, if something is meant to be, there isn't any "right" or "wrong" thing you can or can't do, so stop fucking yourself in the head over it.

If you aren't ready, you aren't. ready. Checking the cake every 10 minutes doesn't make it bake any faster. Trust, trust, trust your intuition- if that means you take a couple extra right turns before you get out of the car, or you finally ask that uncomfortable question you know needs asking- trust yourself, your heart will thank you for it.

Have a tryst. Initiate. Make last minute travel plans. Keep it playful. SPOON. Order in. Ask for help. Eat four desserts for lunch. Take the Double Decker bus, if you're a tourist be a fucking tourist. Meet someone new. Look for the story, wherever you are.

Explore boundaries, respect them- try, even when it's difficult to articulate how you feel. Communicating and listening compassionately is the only way you'll truly understand one another. Ask for them to meet you in the middle, if you run the whole distance for them, they won't know if they can do it without you. Open, open, open your heart.... it's the bravest thing you can possibly do.

I'm not going to say go out there and "set goals!" instead I'm going to say appreciate what you have, who you have, right fucking now, because everything inevitably changes... kiss him a little bit harder, listen to your friend when she's curled up next to you on your couch, be present, be nicer to your parents, and if you know, KNOW in your heart that you deserve to live bigger, greater, BRIGHTER this year- just keeping TRUSTING that you will and start doing it. LOVE deeply, SHARE, connect and create...stand up for yourself, confront your dark bits and transform them, give yourself a goddamn break for once, don't compare, tryyyyy and grow little grasshopper, GROW.

Leave your mark in 2011....now go put on something slutty and start day drinking.

xo.









62 comments:

Clare said...

Yes please times a bajillion.

Happy new year, beautiful.

JUST ME said...

You and I, we deserve a BRIGHTER 2011. :)

Kaci said...

I kinda think I need to read this every morning before I even get out of bed.

Meghan said...

Flipping amazing. Inspiring. Oh so true.

doniree said...

I LOVE YOU. It has been a year, hasn't it? I'm so glad you were such a huge part of my 2010, and can't wait for all of our adventures in 2011. I love you love you love you love you. AND MISS YOU. And I'm so proud of you.

Anonymous said...

YESSSSS! This is your best one, ever!!!!! I love it! Brilliantly Chelsea! I love you, and somehow, while reading it, I pictured you ,at 5 yrs. old, in your little fancy red dress, and black patten leather shoes, with the frilly trimmed, white sox....Same girl, only more, and grown up!!! <3 I think New Year's Eve will begin early, here.

Vanessa said...

Thank you for rounding out the year in your unique voice. Cheers to giving myself a break and trying not to compare myself to others (my biggest and worse vice perhaps).

I like to think if my love life and career were fully figured out, what would I blog about? Also, the hardships and set backs add colour and character to our stories and ourselves. They make us more human and more whole even if they tore a hole out of our soul in the moment.

Cheers to 2011! Taking risks and doing things a bit differently.

Derek said...

I feel really fortunate to know exactly how brave this post is. Your ability to write at your emotions while they're staring you down eyeball to eyeball like a prizefighter in the fourth round is you as a lion. It's you as a leader...someone who's slow danced with her emotions and experiences and taken a few right on the chin and come out the other end with, at the very least, a way to articulate the things we all feel in different doses, at different times, in different states of need.

You're a giant with the pen. I mean...a lean, mean, sexy, slightly-hopped-up-on-champs Significant in the landscape of people who write words worth reading.

You're still everything you were a year ago, and everything you were at eleven, and you're headed towards everything you will be. Everyone here knows I'm biased, and I write nice things about you every once in a while in different corners of the internets (also in a card once, I think), but it comes down to this...inside you is the girl you love. It has nothing to do with anything or anyone but the simple fact that you are who you are and that's a pretty kickass thing to be in your case.

#yeahisignedthisderek

littlemissjuicy said...

"If you're following your passion, expect the road ahead to be a little less than traditional and sit comfortably with that, when you start to question.."

Thanks for that Chelsea. Happy New Year to you! =)

real ridiculous. said...

Reading this made me feel better about the world in general. Thanks. Happy New Year :)

Elena said...

Happy New Year, Chelsea. I love you and your blog. Here's to 2011. xoxo

Derek said...

Funniest part about this post is the ad for Colorado Alcohol Abuse that showed up at the bottom. ;)

This is the first time I read a lot of the stuff you linked to. It seems to me, as a professional fake armchair psychologist, that your theme for 2010 was "let go of the script."

Life is not a screenplay. It does not conform to any narrative formula. Resisting this basic fact leads to misery.

Best of luck in 2011.

michellebizon said...

Brilliant. Let's rock 2011, darling. In sweatpants.

Wine and Words said...

Oh Yes. I like it. Sometimes alcohol is the answer. And ya know what I discovered? Crying may not make you crumble, but it will make your eyes swell shut! Holy toledo. There is only so much crying that can be done if you wish to see in the morning. Thanks for stopping by :)

Herding Cats said...

This was so inspiring I got chills. Thank you for this. You are amazing.

Luna said...

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Thank you. Wishing you a fantastic 2011.
Luna :)

Randi Lee said...

You are by far my favorite blogger. You're so refreshing. Far from the overly common "commercialized" bloggers, if that makes sense- ultra cute, ultra conservative, not much substance. I like that you say Fuck, and that you drink, and that you don't care what everyone thinks. Thank you for being so... YOU!

Libby said...

I am gonna go with the comment by Kaci. This is my first time reading your blog, --but I think I could re-read this post every day and still get the same joy out of it. Really--wonderful!

Jean-Pierre said...

Oh oh, I need clarification. what do you mean by "Call a spade a spade. It'll save you a lot of time. When someone tells you who they are hear them and respond accordingly." ?

Jamie D said...

I've followed your blog for a while now and I have to say that was one of the best ones yet.

Your writing inspires me, makes me laugh and most of all makes me take a second look at my own life. Keep it up!! I love how real you are.

http://darlingdialogues.blogspot.com

hellotaylor said...

This is beautiful :) You inspire me!

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Ahh an amazing post! All very good advice :) Especially the last line!

Jessi said...

Oh, how I loved this post!! Happy 2011 to you... I'm going to go put some of these into action RIGHT NOW!
xoxo J

Lynn said...

what an extraordinarily candid, thought provoking and stellar blog you have here! thanks so much for your comment so i could come on over for such great reads. i've enjoyed your things learned list. yes and more yes!!!! cheers to a very happy, successful new year lades. ♥

▲my• said...

It's been song long since i've read your blog!
I miss it you always put things brilliantly.

happy twenty-eleven. it's going to be amazing.

Jess said...

Sometimes a slutty outfit and day drinking is the only answer. At least you tell it like it is! Have a great start to the year xx

Cait said...

I love this. And you. Here's to lots of day drinking and a wonderful 2011!

Allison said...

This was so perfectly written - I smiled so many times and found my self (kind of creepily) nodding along everything (in a girl power kind of way very reminiscent of how I feel when listening to Spice Girls). Seriously though - this was a BRAVE post. It takes a lot of courage to kick the ass of the typical advice passed on to people, and you did it in a powerful way.
I feel like this post is motivating me to be a stronger woman in 2011 - you go, girl!

Hermione said...

Happy New Year - Thanks for sharing all of this!

Emily Rose said...

sometimes fake eyelashes are the cure to any sort of bad day. How can a day not be fabulous when wearing lashes?

wilybrunette said...

oh man do i adore your blog. thanks for constantly being so darn great.

Alison said...

Funny story... I was reading this in google reader on my iPhone and at the bottom of the post, after the part about day drinking, was an ad for alcoholismtreatmentcenter.org. Ah, what a coincidence! Haha

heart charlie said...

Happy New Year!

freckledk said...

Happy New Year, You! I love this post, and am raising my sadly non-alcoholic glass to you! xo

Lora said...

I'm proud of you. You came through a bunch of shit, and it seems you are still smelling like roses.

Love to you today and all throughout 2011 and beyond!

d said...

I just absolutely adore this. And you. Hearts, D

iheartkiwi said...

What a year lady! Best new year post ever.

Can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for you.

hellodove said...

Exactly how I like to start my year off! As a slut and an alcoholic, lets do the damn thing ;)

LOVE your blog

-Color
http://hellomydove.blogspot.com

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I couldn't have said it better. Trust more, live more, think less. Or overthink less in my case.

Sid said...

I don't have any resolutions for this year. Instead I've decided to keep chasing the dream. To keep writing. To travel. And maybe, just maybe, one day someone will pay me to do both.

(Oh and totally loved this post. Loved this line, "and if you know, KNOW in your heart that you deserve to live bigger, greater, BRIGHTER this year- just keeping TRUSTING that you will and start doing it.")

Fizzgig said...

this totally reminded me of that one song where the guy talks about stuff. cripes now i have to go you tube it. But it was popular when i graduated back in 94, and it was good!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

fizzgig- "I wish I was a little bit taller, wish I was baller, wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat...somethin' somethin impala?"

....no?

Hillary said...

Holy hell, love this. Wishing you a dazzling 2011, miss!

Michelle said...

Dude I love you and how you write. I just recently found your blog so I'm catching up. What a crazy, emotional year you had and I had no idea because you're so funny! I wish you the best in 2011 and I can't wait to read more posts.
-Michelle

Sophia said...

Oh, I just adore this. Happy new year, darling! xo

Miss Caitlin S. said...

hey now, this is so well worded and I love the power you put to the human spirit. I have lost touch with your blog thus I just read your post about your breakup, last I remember was you too madly in love and doing well, I am so sorry and I am so happy for you to be moving forward- your post reminded me so much ofa certain break up and I'm sure you're over it so I won't get into that, I'll just say you make me proud, thanks for your words.

Phoenix said...

Jesus Christ, kid. I want you as my personal life coach/motivational speaker person thingy. You're so damn inspiring I want to punch rude people are I read your posts.

Drink one for me, girl.

"M" said...

Call a spade a spade... an important lesson that many people don't ever learn. Awesome end of year/new year post! :)

Hope Ava said...

Every time I visit your blog I leave with a great big grin on my face! You're fabulous Chelsea, and so is this post. Hope you had a great Christmas and New Years (and perhaps a lot of yummy drinks? I know I did!)

Hope Ava

PS DId your little hair clip reach you safely?

Kris said...

You've learned so much and, in turn, I have learned so much from you! Happy New Year!

kwerk said...

Here I am, all "I'm gonna catch up on blogs/blogging right now" & I read this post & now I'm actually crying because I so needed all this said to me.

Thanks, love, you're beautiful.

Phoenix said...

Hmmm... that was supposed to be "I want to punch rude people AS I read your posts."

Maybe I was 40% sober when I left that comment? Oh well :)

Susan said...

Best New Year's post ever.

Coco Coterie said...

That was a lovely post ~ xox Alexandra

MDubs said...

This post made me SMILE! So glad you are in a happy place. :)

Buy Vigrx said...

Good post

Q Turner said...

Happy 2011! Go out there and shine on, sista!

Anonymous said...

You are the blogger equivalent of Ke$ha: over-hyped, lacking substance, and drunk as a skunk.

tyler_fraser said...

this is one of my favorite blog posts by you. i cannot stop smiling :) thank you.

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