Thursday, February 17, 2011

Valentines update: Oh heyyy, happiness? Where ya been?


OH LAWWWWDDDDD....

You know what happens when you quit your job and you start three new ones, while also settling into your new rhythm and what the fuck to eat for breakfast now that office snacks are gone? What happens is, you have laser beam focus for a solid 72 hours, you put on soap operas for background noise, you power through and then you realize, (three days later) you've neglected incredibly important day-to-days; bathing, reading blogs, writing blogs, uhhh shaving, calling your best friend about "that thing with the condom and oh shit, I have so many things to tell her, I'll call her later after my brain explodes." Amongst other important things that a sane person does.


All that to be said, I'm FINDING MY WAY. I'm not just dancing to a different beat, except for I'm deciding which instruments I really want to use and in what capacity, then learning how to "do the dance," with all my own moves, straight up creation central.

Friday, my last day, when I went to my car after my incredible colleagues wished me well with brews and advice like, "As long as you don't encounter Charlie Sheen in Hollywood, you'll be golden!" I discovered my car was broken into; shattered glass, a missing iPod and a missing makeup bag (right?) I could have cried, or mourned my various palettes of Mac eyeshadow, but instead.....I waved goodbye to my colleagues, drove an hour in the cold, sans window, glass dangerously scattered in pretty pieces all over my seat, I cranked up my stereo, and thought, you said you wanted NEW, well, you're getting new, sister. Something about the absurdity of it all made my smile, a genuine GRATEFUL grin.

...the next day, I took myself out for champagne, Red Velvet Cheesecake, a Burlesque show, a mani/pedi and I enjoyed the extra breeze. On Sunday, when I received a call that my Mac computer wasn't salvageable after water damage and it was, "time to buy a new machine...." I said, "Thank you Sir," and proceeded to make myself an impeccable dinner, while dancing my new dance moves, sans music, the song in my head had a happy enough tune to try out some of that new SPRING in my step; you said you wanted NEW, well, you're getting new, sister.

.....when I caught myself clutching onto my phone waiting for my ex to call on Valentines Day, I caught myself- YOU were all out there doing it, honoring yourselves, smiling inwardly and whistling at the sexy thing in the mirror and I had my hand halfway down a box of Special K, out of milk and watching back episodes of Basketball Wives until 2pm. THEN, I pulled it together....read all of your amazing tweets, posts, encouragement and thought, "Woman up Chelsea, what's the matter with you?!" and BAM, twenty minutes later I was cooing at the entire Nordstrom's staff over my brand new Michael Kors heels and handing out my blog address to my new friends who were also single-shoe-medicating. Look, I'm not even a SHOE GIRL, but these shoes, on this day, for whatever reason had me prancing out of the store with a new swagger. I scored a new vintage dress and tipped into a swanky lounge for a full order of truffle oil Mac & Cheese and dessert and you know what happened? The grip on my phone loosened, I wasn't WAITING for anything, or anyone... because I had arrived. Best Party Ever, table for one, thanks.

While I was in yoga today I thought about the stuff, the things that would usually yank me into dark-twisty-chelsea, the things that needed fixing, schedules that needed cramping and while bending and cracking open my chest cavity, opening my heart, tipping it upside down and toppling over, I felt 100% rooted in love, gratitude and.....woa, shit is that.....happiness? I lifted my heart to the sky, closed my eyes and thought; you wanted NEW, well, you're getting new, sister.

My friends, my family, my skin, the people who shoot up my daily caffeine intake at the Buck, have all noticed the lightness in my spirit, they "hear it in my voice." I can genuinely, with the tenacity of a thousand gem-bellied-trolls hopped up on pure cane sugar, say that I AM HAPPY. HAPPY. I had to type it twice since the word has missed gracing these pages.

And with happiness, comes gratitude- I could say it every single time I write something, but I am grateful for you- for sifting through my gibberish, for connecting, for sharing your stories with me- for revisiting your broken hearts and handing your mended ones in my direction for encouragement. Every email, every comment, tweet, post- I read them all and want to individually grab you all and give you a be SMACK on the cheek, a lip smack of course. Thank you Valentines Warriors who participated, spread the word and treated yourself:



The winner of the giveaway for goes to Twiggles and Sweeney, she'll be receiving cookies from Bitter Baking Company, a t-shirt from Dressing on the Side, goodies from the heart warriors at Pink Kisses, and a basket of stuff from MOI.


BACK TO REGULAR, SIGNIFICANTLY HAPPIER PROGRAMMING SOON......
I love you all. xo.

*Read another one of my guest posts on LOVE, here.


What does "HAPPY" feel like to you?

37 comments:

Kez said...

I'm so happy that you're happy!!!
Happy to me is a summer evening, windows down driving the long way home along the coast, sunsets and favourite music blaring.
It sounds corny but it's that crazy, liberating, wanna scream out how happy I am, know just how good I've got it feeling. The type where your heart feels like it will burst - in a good way!
I sense that you know what I mean :)
x

Dammie said...

lol! I love how you found your happy :)
Happiness comes in the most random forms and places and you just get the feeling like kez said that your heart is going to explode.
Lately, my happiness mostly comes from the fact that I know God loves me and I love him...always gets me gooey!

KY said...

:)

Amanda Blair said...

So, so, happy for you girl! You are really out there living life and it is such an inspiration...you really do shine.

I always feel like the darkest, hardest times are almost weirdly the best times. Not that I love being in pain, I don't, but it's always during those times I grow and change. It's in those times I always realize, I'm a kickass WOMAN and I deserve happiness and then I go out and take it. I'm happy to see you doing the same!

im_anewsoul said...

Happy feel like coming home after a trip to St. Louis and realizing that you're no longer as alone as you thought you were. Happiness is rediscovering the lost goals that you thought you threw away but in reality after my stint in St. Louis I decided to go back to school and get my MA. As soon as I got home I grabbed a GRE book and I wasn't overwhelmed as I usually am when I'm studying. I sat there and I read the first chapter. Eyes smiling while chanting this mantra, "I am strong and I can do this".
Thank you Chelsea! I love you sexy Momma!!

Lauren said...

You were a HUGE part in making me happy after a horrible break up. And I can honestly say I am happy again, happy with me and my wonderful life. All that other stuff (love)will fall into place.
I am also ecstatic for you that you have found your happiness.
xx
Lauren

Habbala said...

I love reading that you're finding your happy place.

You're amazing and I can't wait to SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND.

coors cowgirl 21 said...

happiness is getting to the point in your life where no matter what happens you know its all gonna be ok.
it took me a long time to get here however its the greatest feeling in the world, so freeing, so beautiful.
im so happy you are happy !!!

ROCK ON VALENTINES DAY WARRIOR !!!

Kristin said...

This post makes me want to skip around in a sundress and eat ice cream. :)

Shannon said...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S REVOLUTION!

Much better than the typical sorry for yourself single attitude on that day!

Chels you rock! Your posts make me happy :)

suki said...

And it makes me happy to read this! :)

Nicoley said...

Way to go Chels! My (solo) Valentine's Day plans got a little changed but the alternative was a great one. My family and I had a feast and gorged ourselves on chocolate and movies and all together family time. It was nice and much needed for us all.
I'm happy to see happiness rushing back to you, and in my experience it does come back in the most unexpected ways.

JUST ME said...

Dude, someone broke into your car in BOULDER?!

...I'm locking up EVERYTHING now.

All the best, bestest, better than best luck in LA and pretty please update me on what goes on, mmmkay?

hannahjustbreathe said...

Yayyy!! One of my most favorite things about yoga is that I really do feel as though I make myself anew each time I visit my mat. I leave renewed. I find new spaces in my body. I invite new room into my opened heart. All that newness, all for me, all thanks to my yoga. Amazing shit, isn't it? :)


Such a tremendous post to read. I am so ridiculously happy that YOU are happy, Chelsea.

laurwilk said...

I love this, Chelsea! I was looking forward to hearing about your Valentine's Day. I'm so happy that you're happy. Best of luck in LA!

melifaif said...

Now THAT'S what's up....I loved reading this today!!! I just recently found - or reclaimed - my happy back! And it feels so.damn.good! I just don't know how I did it....but, I am NOT questioning it!!! I am relishing in it....cheers to us!!!!

BeckEye said...

Good luck in LA! Boy, I want to quit my job and have, like, 10 smaller ones. All of which I can do from home, of course.

doniree said...

It IS in your voice, I LOVE your energy, I'm PROUD of your bold and daring choices, I can't WAIT to hear more from you later and WHAT ABOUT THE THING ABOUT A CONDOM?!

Rahul said...

Are you moving to LA? WHAT. I did not know. I live in LA. Look me up. I'm the brown guy with no friends listening to coldplay.

Ok I lied. I have one friend. He moved.

hellotaylor said...

This made me smile :)

The Singing Nurse said...

This made me happy! I've felt that feeling before too, and it is so nice to have someone refresh me on those amazing feelings. Thank you.

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

That's so wonderful to hear that you are so happy! You absolutely deserve it! I just discovered your blog and am slowly making my way through all your posts haha, lurker much?

Phoenix said...

Chels, I adore you so much. When life throws you lemons, you make a bad-ass lemon martini with them.

Keep on getting happy girl, it's SO inspiring.

Jen said...

Love your definition of happy, your journey to happy, your realization of happy. Keep on rockin' happy... it looks good on you!

Happy belated Valentine's Day to YOU. You lovely thing.

Gina said...

Lady! I'm sorry to hear your car got broken into! If I find that ahole, I will punch him in the face for you!

I'm glad you ended up having a good V day. Mine was pretty great too: lunch was delicious, bought some cute clothes, and got a much-needed pedicure. Thank you again for inspiring me to turn a potential horrible V Day into a great one.

And thanks so much for the shot out! I feel honored. :)

pixie658 said...

:)

Fizzgig said...

I love it! I know being inspiring has to feel fantastic so...thank you for being inspiring!

Happy to me, is realizing im the only one holding me back, and ceasing to wait for someone else to get what I want out of life.

Cheers to your new beginning!!!!!

Kathleen Carla. said...

aww this is such a sweet post, I wish I could send over all my readers a big hug too!! you should like create a blogger meet-up in your town ;). Best way to spread the love this year for Valentine's Day..for your readers! :) hope you had a fantastic one girl! :)

<3, Kathleen.

Martin Sheridan said...

Keep on going. Henry Miller saw that it was all a stinking mess at the peak of the Jazz Age, and walked away from his well-paid job and his comfortable middle-class life in order to finally be honest with himself. He arrived in Paris in 1930 without funds but rich in hope. You know the rest of the story. It sounds like you're on the same course. Do it.

Mademoiselle Fanny said...

Happy to me means waking up in the morning with the voices of children from the school behind my house in Paris, going out and saying hello to all the shop keepers in my neighbourhood, chitchatting with my neighbours while am getting my daily capuccino at the little café next door, smelling the roses from the flower shop, and feeling blessed for this inner joy.
I am glad to read there are other happy people who manage to listen to that small voice, and find their inner happiness...

hellodove said...

Ohh snap! Chelsea is BACK :)

-Color
http://hellomydove.blogspot.com/

Hillary said...

Oh my hell - the joy just radiates from this post. Well done, lady :) I'm so happy you're happy.

Right now my happiness is finally feeling excited about my tiny fetus after months of feeling nothing but ohfuckohfuckwhathavewedone?!

Nashe^ said...

All this happiness.. I can dig it. :)

Veronica said...

I love the pic!
Cute blog!
Follow me? I'd be very happy if you do!
Thank you so much!
www.cipollainspiration.blogspot.com

kendra.was.here said...

happiness makes me smile. it makes me feel like I have reached eternal salvation in a sense. everyone wants to be happy and that's what we are all searching for if we don't already have it even if we are searching for it unconsciously. Happiness is when I feel fulfilled and happy with myself, proud of myself and looking into the mirror and even looking happy. Everyone notices when i'm happy and i love it. Not that people notice, but that I am at a great place in my life when I am happy and no one will ever bring me down again. happiness is a (natural) high that I never want to come down from (:

TheGirlisAlright said...

I really enjoyed this post. :)

Happiness to me is being able to enjoy my own company.

What'd ya think of my blog?

LiBBy said...

Happy to me is not needing a Him to feel like a Her.

 
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