Monday, February 6, 2012

The things I'm saying to myself..... minus all of the things I say to myself about Beyonce. That's another blog post.

You will be compelled to act, when you are meant to.

The nudge, the "go on now...." the stumble into action, the 1. 2. and jump before you can reach 3.... you know the difference between the times you've made calculated decisions and the times a seemingly imaginary force shoves you..... you will be. compelled act, when you are meant to.

.... so give yourself a little bit of a break, really. Conserve your brain fuel, it is a precious.

This moment, is just that- a moment in your life, it isn't your WHOLE LIFE so all the over generalizing and dramatic statements about what this moment means for your future are probably premature, this. moment. is a screen cap, a blip, a 3 minutes in a 90minute picture.... even if it isn't the moment you want to be IN, you're in it, so savor it. Chew on it. Wring it dry.

Pick up every crumb with the tip of your index finger, because after THIS moment, you'll be wrapped up in another one and I can almost guarantee you'll have a bought of amnesia and romanticize what it is you're so desperately trying to run away from right this second.

They're all good. Minute 6, minutes 9-15... there's all different pictures though, right? With different angles and different lighting, making one. whole. So like the frame you're in...even if you're discouraged by it, because it's a part of your whole story and this is YOUR STORY. It would be helpful for you to stop pretending that you get a take two.... within the same lifetime, anyway.

Where you're at right now is preparing you, polishing you. Causing friction so that you are fucking. smooth. when it's showtime. In fact, you're studying for something and you don't even know what yet, find odd comfort in that. The surrender. The, "ah...I remember seeing that somewhere..." or "that's so funny, because I was just reading about that..." Nothing is coincidence. No thang.

Sometimes, it's as simple as this- you're just feeling a little blue. When you give it a name, "I'm having a Sad Balloon kind of day," it's a lot easier to let go of. But, I promise, it's easy to make feeling a little blue, feel like a whole fucking monsoon of gray, gray, gray has attacked you.... just keep talking about it. If you really need to go there. Or hey, maybe don't.

Oh and you should know this, but for the record, you should probably stop giving a shit about that guy. You know why? Because you're really fantastic and you should never need to convince someone of it. Bye. bye.

You're a dime plus ninety nine.

Forgive yourself. Stop feeling guilty about feeling guilty.

Smile inwardly, at yourself and then out to Universe.

There isn't anyone reminding you to take care of yourself anymore... so, set your boundaries- what do you need? What do you NEED? Fuck what everyone is saying you can/can't do; peers, family, friends, work... do what you know will make you FEEL GOOD. Look out for yourself.

Leave earlier. Leave later. Operate from that which you KNOW, that soul stuff, even if it isn't fast or convenient enough for your current circumstances.

Take space. Have another. Refrain. Slow down. Ask. Confess. Save some of what's left over for your own little feast.

Don't let them convince you otherwise. Honor your intentions. Don't make excuses just to be nice, it isn't nice if it isn't truthful. To yourself, or to anyone else. Spend time feeling insanely sexy, even if no one is around to see it. Especially then.

Do you. Repeat times ten.

It's all okay.

How do you take CARE of your spirit? What do you tell yourself?


Helen said...

Holy smokes. Hell yes. Thank God you're saying this to us, too.

Anonymous said...

This is exactly what I needed to read right now. I was feeling blue and confused. But you my dear brought a fresh perspective to those feelings. I need to go let go of my sad balloon! Thank You!

Anonymous said...

I decided to come here after obsessively reading all of your YM&C posts. Then I obsessively read all of these posts. You are a beautiful writer and it seems as though you always say exactly what I need to hear. Thank you for sharing <3

Anonymous said...

thank you for actually talking about 'feeling blue' in this way ... bluntly & honestly. i love this!

not a lot of people could have written it in that way & still managed to make it sound inspiring.

i love your posts on 'you, me & charlie'. i think a lot of people who read that website religiously are the ones who feel a little lost [me most definitely included!] and i know it brings me inspiration, motivation & most importantly ... a smile to my face.

Just M said...

I let go of my sad balloon on Saturday and I feel amazing about it. Granted, I am still paying the price for too many vodka and cranberries and not enough sleep but hey, the sad balloon has floated away.

Thank you for these words today!!! Perfect timing as always.

Clare said...

I adore you. A lot.

asplenia said...

God, I love your writing. You're incredible. How do you just KNOW? It's like you're plugged into some kind of collective consciousness. You just GET what we need to hear. <3 you so much.

kelly said...

Amazing. Thanks for sharing. Going to read this whenever I have a Sad Balloon Day.

Urban Earthworm said...

Very astute. If my week last week was any indication, this should hit home for a lot of people right now. It does for me.

I just need to decide whether to tell myself to slow down or speed up.

Fizzgig said...

i needed this! enjoying the moment, im all about it, but sometimes i get caught up in the end result and forget to enjoy the ride!!

my spirit loves when i allow my mind to think the thoughts it needs to, and feel the feelings I have each moment!

makeitbrighter said...

Girl, we are never-met-before-but-maybe-in-another-life-soul-sisters.

This is brilliant.

I'm going to wake up early and sing it to the mountain tops tomorrow.

Lehua said...

Insanely on point for me today. Thank you. Just as I was beginning to despise my calling, your post showed up. Thank you. xo

Jenn said...

Someone just said to me, in reference to yoga "you are where you are until you're not" and I think that's pretty profound... Like, I'm here and I'm here and I'm here, until I'm there. And neither is better or worse, but one is here and one is there, and that's that.

Also, I love you.

Peter said...

"you're studying for something and you don't even know what yet"

Yeah that one bounces around in my head too.

withoutizy said...

you are wonderful. in every way. thank you.

Anonymous said...

This was just... PERFECTION.

Vanessa said...

This is pretty much exactly what I needed to read today.

LittleFawn said...

Thank you so much for posting this. These were exactly the words I needed to hear this week.

Erin said...

Thank you... I need to stop listening to others, they're not the ones that'll have to live with my decisions... & damn right about forgetting that guy. Thank you thank you thank you!

Phoenix said...

Awesome, awesome post as always, Chelsea.

You know what I do? I sit in it. I sit in the shit like a pig in the mud for a few moments, give myself full permission to feel lousy as hell, and when I've allowed myself to get down in the dumps (instead of guilting myself out of validating my own experience), then I sit up, laugh, brush off my jeans, and try to jump all over again.

It works like 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time I feed myself chocolate and macaroni and cheese.

Maggie said...

haha! I love this! Its so funny! I really like how you describe how you are feeling blue but you make it... i dunno... inspiring. Thats awesome. Love reading your blogs. Write more!!!!

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Busana Muslim said...

Thanks lot for this useful article, nice post

Julia said...

Wow. Loved it. a big kick in the ass, just what we need from time to time. also im new to your blog so: Hi :)

Unknown said...

"You will be compelled to act, when you are meant to."
Thank you for this post. It warmed a heart that has been hurting and calmed a mind that has been worrying about my lack of motivation.
I'm printing out this post to keep on my writing desk.

alliespence. said...

inspired by this post. thanks for sharing!

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