Friday, January 4, 2008


I have managed to peel myself off of the couch in order to stick to my non-resolution- New Years resolution that said I'd write daily. My throat has basically been swollen shut, making swallowing entirely more difficult than it should be. I've never drank a milkshake and cried from physical pain, until today.

So remember a few posts back, Mr. McGymHot? Spontaneous combustion could occur, the kind where I rip my clothes off in an entirely inappropriate place.

Now, this kind of personality is totally different for me....I usually date guys that are skinnier than me. Which has just got to stop. I would like them to force feed me dessert, not be "too full" for seconds. Skinnier than me also means, weaker than me. I'm not a big girl, i'm fit....but I have some serious punch behind these little arms, I could get scrappy if it were ever necessary. I would prefer not to, I would like my man to have it under control. For instance, when I was with The Musician, I would worry that if someone broke into the house he'd whisper, "SH.....Let's hiiiiide." He would definitely not say, "Bring it onnnnnnnn."

The personality types I attract are usually too introspective to worry about kicking ass, because how often do you need to kick ass in a coffee shop? Hardly ever. Mosh pits don't count either. It's when you leave the coffee shop that you need to worry about asses. Something tells me Mr. McGymHot would be prepared with force if someone broke into my house, and he wouldn't have to chase them with a booger to make them flee.
I did have a large crush on a guy, we'll call him The Texan, that involved alot of "Movie nights." Movie night is standard code for - something's going down tonight, bring a Jet Lee movie, or a Bond movie, either way we aren't watching it. During our tryst he was always at the rescue. Whether it meant helping me push a car down the middle of a busy street cause I didn't have enough money for gas, or he just needed to show up with a bat cause I was scared. He was there. Bat in tow. Literally. Though things didn't work out with us, the fact that I felt safe with him was extremly attractive.

When I'm out with a man I need other men to know I'm with you. There's a fine line, not in the possessive, hawk over my shoulder kind of way, I just need them to have a presence. A presence that says, "I'm with her." You don't need to be chauvenistic, but sometimes, I just want to say MAN UP. If you want people to know we're together, it lets me know, you're proud to have me there. The guys that do this, are the same kind of men who aren't afraid to come to my defense and make me feel comfortable enough to not speed walk through parking lots after 6pm. I'm tired of being the tough one all the time. MAN. UP. MAN UP! I'm into this whole women are equal thing, wonderful idea ladies, you have my approval and i'm generally the one to write "Girl Power" on my forehead and "bring home the bacon" while cooking the bacon. I just don't want to have to go out and kill the bacon. That's your job. Mr. McGymHot would absolutely run over the pig if I wanted him to.


ANA said...

I totally agree with you.

Anonymous said...

ha ha-- get the T-shirt, that is great: Man UP!


Lisa said...

Oh no! Milkshakes should never elicit tears- tragedy!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Sometimes it is nice for us to just fry it up in the pan.

PS--we have the same resolution. Here's to '08 writing!

JUST ME said...

Yo, that is so true.

I need a guy who could beat up a mugger if that ever happened to happen, not run away screaming.

Skinny guys blow.

If you can't carry me through a threshold, stay away, you know?

JUST ME said...

ps: I'm linking you because you immediately pass my "coolness and good writing" test.

Plus you ran on the treadmill with your thong in your armpit. My kind of girl.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Hahah, indeed I did. I will link you as well my new friend.

and Blue Poppy: I definitely ned to make a t-shirt.

Glad to see we're all on same page about the strong men. If there's a fire, I'd like ot know he could carry me out.

Alexis said...


Anonymous said...

Oh man, why all the hating on the skinny guys??

We skinny guys used to be in style, you know – the neo waif / hipsters who rock intellect and girl’s True Religions. It’s not that I lack street smarts, I just don’t like to rumble – but that doesn’t mean I won’t stand up for my girl when some meathead D-bag slaps her ass in a club… it just means I’ll probably be catching a beat-down. If he ends up getting the girl, then so be it.

I guess there is a fine line between being a manned-up MAN and being an asshole… and between being me and being a complete pussy. I’ll walk that line.

Maybe the tides of taste have turned and maybe I need to start hitting the gym. Pilates anyone?

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

hahahah......Oh Justin, I see your point. I'm not saying ALL skinny men wont kick ass....I suppose its the personality behind the skinny man, so i'm sorry to generalize.

There is indeed a fine line...I still like my man to have the brains...believe me, that comes first, no doubt.
But at first glance it would be nice to know you aren't going ot be the one doing the heavy lifting all the time....

nicole antoinette said...

Ugh, my throat is SO SORE too. I'm getting over mono (well, trying to) but think I now also have strep. :(

Hope you feel better soon!

B said...

agreed! 100%

Huntkvtg said...

Oh no! Milkshakes should never elicit tears- tragedy!