Friday, January 30, 2009

There's NO WAY she does it without a bump of speed.

I'll have whatever she's on.

Look, I'm fully aware that Oprah has "people" that help things run smoothly. I'm sure she has a person for smoothing out her hair, one for carrying tissues and tampons, one for micromanaging what ends up in her pantry and one that can give her a miracle shot if she's feeling a little under the weather. BUT- at the end of the day, it is HER responsibility to execute. No matter how many "people" she has, she is the only one who has to "PERFORM." No amount of money can make someone else do that for you....we still aren't fully supportive of the whole cloning idea, at least not yet.

Right now I'm juggling a whole bunch of jobs and new ventures- plus my personal health and sanity. I'm forgetting to put on deodorant. You know your brain is up to other things when you can't recall whether or not you brushed your teeth today- or yesterday?....Hm.

If I was on whatever Oprah's on, my room wouldn't look like a set from Twister. Someone would be there to make sure I didn't walk around trying to look serious, even though I had a little booger on my nose ring. My car wouldn't look like I go 4wheeling regularly and I wouldn't forget to put mascara on, on both eyes.

Modern day super woman? Fuck yea. Ok, she doesn't have kids or a she loses points, but instead she has; a school, a TV show, a magazine, a radio show, a production company, a book club, books, a few houses, and a gaggle of dogs....she's really only missing a restaurant, a perfume line and maybe a classy line of sex toys. She is either on the best crack in the world or there's five of her we don't know about. Oprah makes my life look like a vacation and I'm still effing tired.....

Whenever I get a hold of whatever Oprah taking I'm going to FINALLY return all my emails. When I get a hold of what Oprah's taking, I'm going to fold my clothes and put them drawers, instead of creating a fabric Jenga tower.

I'm going to finally start writing the book I've been talking about writing, I'm going to plan my next trip, I'm going to stop avoiding making a "budget plan", I'll take a spinning class, HIKE A DAMN MOUNTAIN, cut my hair, learn to play more than three chords on the guitar and pick up a few more freelancing jobs.

.....but, shit- what if Oprah isn't on anything.....

Is it the entourage that makes her a powerhouse, the money, the midday snack of apples and a tablespoon of peanut butter for an extra boost of energy that makes it all work??? Or is it simply that she just NEVER. STOPS. NO. MATTER. HOW. TIRED. AND HAGGARD. SHE. IS. ??

Whatever it is, she's found a way to juggle so gracefully....and that above of all, is an admirable quality. Now all she needs is a How-To book on managing various careers, maintaining a garden and
kicking ass simultaneously....without look like a frazzled troll. That is a book I'd buy.

If you had whatever Oprah's on, what would you get done???

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A 100 calorie pack of CRAZY

You know you're busy when your meals consist wholly of food you can grab out of a box; granola bars, Little Debbie Cakes (uh- the heart shaped Valentine cakes make the world go 'round), 100 calorie packs of Goldfish, and assorted cracker-y things..... might I add that there's about 7 goldfish in those bags, SEVEN? What the fuck is in them that makes them 100 calories, pure lard with orange food coloring, rolled in salt?

So this week , after being completely unfulfilled from eating room temperature food with fancy wrapping (that is now ornamenting my car), I started to think- well, if five God. DAMN. goldfish are 100 calories, what's a bite of a peanut butter and jelly sammy??? 80? Just a bite?
NOTE: Anyone who feels the desire to mention I should stick to lean meat like turkey and salmon, or snack on almonds from a baggie can keep your fit ass quiet. I have almonds in a baggie.....and a slice of lunch meat really doesn't tide me over- not to mention, it isn't that portable. I love the GRAB 'N GO! An almond filled existence is the first thing that would trigger a trip straight to a Micky D's drive thru.

This is the deal, now every time I go over my daily caloric I have to factor in my "tastes?" I SUPPOSE SO! Dinner mints even? Every time I sample "just a small bite" am I getting a stretch mark in some strange place??? What the fuck am I supposed to eat- frozen grapes? Frozen because once, on a crazy diet fad I was attempting, I decided eating frozen food took longer, which then distracted me from how hungry I actually was, AND burnt a few taste buds. So the idea of eating anything else seemed "flavorless". Banana Popsicles it was......I also couldn't really afford anything and Lord knows Top Ramen has it out for wannabe skinnies. No support for financially strained concerned about the width of their love handles, no support-punk asses.

Thus, the over analysis of caloric intakes ensues.

And let me tell you what, those 100 calories packs distort your fucking brain. They just do. I've developed a new obsessive habit, calorie counting. I'M THE CHICK WHO DITCHED 38 DAYS OF MATH.....and I'm voluntarily counting calories, five. hundred. times. a day. The worst part, I'm "roughly estimating." Overestimating, underestimating....who the EFF knows. For all I know the hummus I ate is entirely responsible for my rapidly decreasing self esteem when the thought of "bikini season" floats through the brain. Who knows? Is hummus the enemy? Damn. damn calories.

"Babe, what are you doing....."

Obviously when My Love saw me pulling a Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, he knew I wasn't discovering a new math theory....he knew I wasn't actually MAKING enough money to add up so rapidly, these surely aren't incoming checks....

"Oh, I'm just- counting. Counting to stay in my calorie bracket...." Using the word "bracket" makes it sound more business, less mental patient.

A few days later....after the awkward exchange and revealed obsessive-compulsive-weight-obsessed-episode (which comes in bouts, I assure you it isn't consistent), in comes My Love with a gigantic tin of cookies from my favorite bakery in New York and my FAVORITE type of cookie. On top of the tin was a calculator.....

and in the window where numbers are usually taunting me......

It just said (in perfect calculator font)- YOU ARE PERFECT

And on that note, I think I'll skip the counting for this evening and have a cookie instead.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Love and all the crusty pieces.

"Someday you'll love somebody enough to touch their feet."

"HELL NO, I WILL NEVER, EVER, love somebody that much- in fact I may love my children that much only while their feet are still fat, haven't touched the ground, and are wrapped in booties disguised as Converse Sneakers. That's the only time."

You know when you start to realize that maybe a lot of the the stuff you your parents said that seemed like "SHIT" in your undeveloped brain is actually true, for instance the feet thing. The other day while My Love was coughing up a lung and snotting everywhere with a heinous cold (I was a willing glutton to contract still making out with him like it was my life's purpose), without hesitation cuddled up in his arms his feet wrapped around me (the way you sit with your baby in the kiddie pool), I reached down....and grabbed his FEET. His bare feet, with both of my hands and just started kneading them? Like it was a fucking piece of dough that I was going to bake and munch on later. Like, "OOO feet, I love you."

The worst part, my MOTHER the always-right-never-loses-told-ya-so- QUEEN, gave me "the look" that just said...."SEE, Mommy knows best."

Love; love makes you like (love?) feet. Crusty feet, big feet, dry feet, awkward shaped toenails feet, clammy feet, socked feet.....whatever feet they've got, you love them. Love makes you love snot and hair in weird places and eye boogers. Love makes you want to contract a beastly mucus cough just so that your love won't feel as disgusting spitting their phlegm into a napkin while you watch if you're doing it too.

Love means taking all the undesirable parts and loving them anyway.

Love is knowing their faults and instead of leaving them because of their habitual lateness, missed dates and disorganization- you buy them a planner and say, "it's all good babe, there's even a belt clip so you don't lose that shit." Blindness? Maybe sometimes, but I'd call is acceptance for the WHOLE person that you love....instead of the glittery pieces that make up their persona. Loving their underground zits and sleep talking, their cover stealing and the fact that they make you look bad in front of your Mother- only because he's nicer to her than you are.

Ah, means loving feet, when in the past- I would've rather licked a tarantula.

And here I am all gushy and feet touchy and "hold on you've got a little something on your face, let me lick my finger and wipe it off for you...." Love? I think so.

What does love make YOU do????

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My date with JURY DUTY


Cue the orchestra of sympathetic and tragic violins.

I was trying to be a good sport, like, "oh hey, maybe justice will be SERVED and maybe, I'll get some dirty, sticky fingered, scum bag off the streets! Take that mufucka."

Oh but no......I was summoned for a TRAFFIC VIOLATION. Some asshat who was pleading not guilty, even though he DIDN'T HAVE A LICENSE. No license=no driving. Driving with no license= traffic violation. Violating laws= guilty. This asshat's case= waste of my day.
When they questioned the jurors my smack talking mouth couldn't help but answer completely honestly and say, "Well, this doesn't seem to be a grey matter to me- I think he's irresponsible."

AND BAM, dismissed! That was after I'd spent all day long reading Women's Day Magazine and trying to memorize what power foods I should try to incorporate into my meals on a daily basis (which influenced tonight's dinner; cottage cheese, yogurt, an apple, a handful of granola and a can of black beans?), then listening to 25(or something) jurors list their occupations, interests, parents occupations, favorite radio stations, etc. etc. It felt more like a blind date with incompatible strangers. Side note, listening to excruciatingly slow-talkers name TEN different reality shows they like, and for what reason should be a new form of torture- for your worst enemy, boss, Al Quaeda, whatevs. I digress. Then, after learning that I'm nearly the only person in my county who doesn't watch Fox News, it was already 2:00. Holy hell.

So, I shuffled off uncomfortably the same way people do in airports, cafeterias, to execution, on eggshells, etc. You know the shuffle I'm talking about- the one where you don't want to move too much cause any twitch out of the ordinary could send the already high tension atmosphere into a frenzy of nervousness and who knows, accidental trigger pulling.

And might I add to anyone who designs a courtroom- fluorescent lighting is uncomfortable, we already don't want to be there so if you could at least put a dimmer in that shit, it'd set a better mood. It'd even lend to the somberness.....a pitcher of water with fresh cucumbers and raspberries would be a nice touch too. A spa in a Dixie cup.

So here I am- catching up on all the exciting Inauguration coverage and swooning over the Prez. Michelle, cheers.

Tomorrow my day will resume, back to it's semi-normalcy which will involve: arranging a photo shoot, picking out some radical costumes- 1940's marching band uniforms anyone?, rehearsing, writing, and catching up on some blog shiz. In the meantime here's some EAR CANDY for you- the band I sing in, Eleanor just had some amazingly successful shows this weekend, the goal- coming to a city near youuuu soon!

It's your turn, I need a jury; where would a band like Eleanor perform in your town???

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I always miss DAMN delurking day.

"Is anybody alive out there......can anybody hear me.....""

Hands down, one of the greatest lines in Titanic, next to maybe, "Jack ::scratchy squeeking voice:: jack.....JACK....JACK!" The frantic climax of the "Jack's" is always fun to act out when people are least expecting it. P.S. congrats Kate on the Golden Globe.

ANYWHOODLE (came up with that one on my own- must be a gift from God.... ha.) I ALWAYS miss Delurking Day, (yesterday? apparently) no one has ever "delurked" on my page (delurked sounds like a dirty word doesn't it?) and I know I've been gone for awhile, but I'm coming back....are you still there?? Delurk your lurking juices, reveal yourself!

I'll give you a virtual cookie. And I'm a bad ass baker.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Google Analytics are AWESOME

If you don't have them, you should.

I used to find a great deal of pleasure doing process of elimination and figuring out which ex boyfriends of mine were still Internet stalking me by locating them on the map and what sort of, semi-stalking them in return and knowing that "no other person could have possibly Googled my name that lives in (blank) and is a returning viewer...."

It's really a fun game.

Though, not quite as fun as finding out HOW people got to your site in the first place....the amount of people who land on Chelsea Talks Smack by Googling "ball busting" is an alarming number. What I wonder is, when they get to the site- what in the HELL makes them stay on for longer than 5 minutes if their intention was to find "ball busting" anything; photos, stories (which I do have one of) videos, etc.

Here's a few more that tickle my fancy (which I'm sure someone will Google, 'tickle my fancy' now and end up at Chelsea Talks Smack, sorely disappointed and 'untickled'.) Here it goes:

-Elope + Argentina- whoever Googled that, I seriously hope you did it. What a great place to Elope. Congrats. I also got Elope to Iceland and let me personally say, I think ICELAND is a bad choice- ice doesn't scream romance to me. ?

-Funny gangsta quotes..... (I have a feeling they didn't find what they were looking for here)

-Essays on an unwelcome guest- HM,? NO idea. Sorry you must have had a rough can be a bit tricky

-Demise of dating and texting- NOW THIS, I'd like to read. Let me know if you found an article on it

DRUM ROLL PLEASE:::: Beijing driver bikini wax::::::

what in the hell?!?!?! and the madness continues....

-Another word for ovulating- though I doubt you found the answer to that on my site, let me give you some answers; Surfin' the crimson wave, A visit from Aunt Ruby, On the rag, etc. Readers, feel free to add to this one if you have some clever phrases.....

-"Sequined SAD penis"......I can't even imagine what they were looking for, a limp dick dipped in rhinestones???

-"Fear of large statues"- Hm, another I do not have the answers for.

-"Nicole Antoinette and porn- Nicole, either someone really wants to see you naked (which duh, why wouldn't they?) or you have a porn site- either way....they're lookin'.

-"Why do you pee when you're drunk"- Because of the massive influx of liquid into your system, you tool.

-"My mom is a hot bitch"- yes, my Mother is a hot bitch, so naturally you'd end up here?

-"I'm single and it's my birthday"- GIRL/BOY, Go out buy yourself a drink and a piece of cake- you'll be fine. Happy Birthday.

-"I want to punch my Grandma"- SHAME ON YOU.

There were also several related to country singers, getting stoned , sex, stripping, Heath Ledger , feminism, drinking and heartbreak.

BUT MY FAVORITE, who happened to stay on for a lengthy bit of time...."PEACE LOVE AND GRILLED CHEESE."

Anyone who is Googling how all three of those brilliant things fit together is welcome to be my friend.

What are some crazy things you've had on your Google Analytics???

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sometimes, I'm totally unaware of what a HOT MESS I can be.

"The AIM of life is to LIVE and to live means to be aware. Joyously, drunkenly, divinely aware."

I just came across and old journal of mine, one that was my companion for the greater part of my life while living in L.A. It was my steady routine; wake up, make coffee, and a bowl of oatmeal, drive- find a place to write and I'd write for two hours everyday- words, thoughts, quotes, songs, theories...whatever. Then when the writing was over, I never really looked at it again...until today, when I found all of these little nuggets of truth that I really needed to be reminded of. Some the things I'd released onto the pages were things that, once out of my head, were set into writing the thoughts down made them come to life, without knowing that there was a plan in place for them. For instance, I had added all of these pictures- a girl taking pictures in Paris, alone, free (I did that), a woman singing with a scruffy hair boy playing guitar behind her (I did that), a woman holding a computer and a wad of cash (symbolizing to me making money through writing and the mobile freedom, I do that), anyway....the things go on and on. I'd subconsciously created the things I wanted to see in my life.

Then today when I was having a moment of "holy Jesus, WHAT THE FUCK next?!" I opened the journal so a few pages of idea and quotes from Twyla Tharp's book The Creative Habit and they were all things I desperately needed some tuning up on, like a perfectly good guitar that is usable, with all the right tools just completely "out of tune" literally, figuratively.....whatever. This is what I came across:

1. Venturing out of your comfort zone (though this isn't usually a problem for me) may be dangerous, yet you do it anyways because your ability to grown is DIRECTLY proportional to an ability to entertain the uncomfortable.

2. Big ideas cease to exist if you don't follow up with them with a steady string of small ideas that make them reality. (this is directly related to ANYTHING, even small things like saying you're going to redecorate your kitchen.)

3. If you LISTEN, you will hear ideas.

4."'s better an imperfect dome in Florence than cathedrals in the clouds."

5. There's an emotional like to over planning; it creates a security blanket that lets you assume you have things under control, that you are further along than you really are, that you are home free when you haven't even walked out the door yet.

6. CREATIVITY is an act of DEFIANCE- you're challenging the status quo- you're questioning truths and principles. Asking; why do I have to obey the rules??

7.Habitually creative people are "prepared to be lucky."

8.PICK A FIGHT WITH THE SYSTEM; yours includes- rules, rituals, routine.

9.When you're in a rut you have to question everything except your ability to get out of it.

10. Knowing when to stop is almost as crucial as knowing when to start......

AND these are just ten of the things I'd written down out of pages and pages....they're simply the ones that are speaking to me now. We all have rough days, days where we're completely missing the mark in every way sometimes, a little reminder from an old journal, friend, quote from a Starbucks cup.... (hey, those are good quotes) are needed. Like the quote above, AWARENESS- awareness when things are right or wrong, when you're energy is off or the thing standing in your way of your happiness, or being aware when the people in your life are no longer serving a greater purpose and are working as road blocks instead....we must be aware.

Be aware of the things that turn you on, the things that make you excited like a kid on Christmas Eve. Aware of when all of your senses feel the most alive, aware of the touches that give you chills and the things that make you sick to your stomach....aware of the people who make you feel radiant and the people who make you feel gray....

Live. drunkenly. divinely. aware.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

If the bridge BLOWS, burn it. I can swim just fine.

I actually said, "FUCK YOU" to an "employer" last night. Balls? Oh sure, I have a pair but this was simply justice, for me and all the other employee's with a "fuck you" dangling by a pinkie on their tongue.

It was one of those moments when you're holding a (hypothetical) can of gasoline in your hand and and a match and the gain you'd get from actually setting the bridge on fire is better than leaving it standing. Up in flames, baby! There's only so much patronizing talk a person can take, and deserves (which is really never)- especially when its unjustified to begin with. I think when you're in your twenties you're often looked at like you're still "new to the rodeo" and sure, maybe physically you haven't been in their "specific rodeo" but rodeo or not; character, work ethic, talent, intelligence- don't have an age and sadly, are qualities lost on many "elders."

I've always believed in getting rid of your "low worth" anything; clothing, relationships, JOBS, etc. LOW WORTH meaning, whenever you wear that specific dress, the one you KNOW makes you feel like Kirstie Allie (pre and post Jenny) every time you try it on, but you keep holding out until the "day" it doesn't make you feel gigantour anymore and the elusive asshole day never shows.....

...or the relationship you know could be better, but it isn't so you wait, and wait until eventually you surrender and settle as if you DESERVE the "low worth" feelings it gives you.
the job that you've shown up to everyday, dedicated like a damn nun to Jesus, loyal and doormat-y and the meetings you've endured, sitting dutifully in front of some schmucks desk with a fancy engraved name place, excessive saliva spewing from his mouth when he says the word "numbers" and talks about his children in private school after cutting your pay by half, only to "in closing" be shoved out the door stripped of any sort of dignity and feeling condescended to the point that you don't know if you actually are as smart, and deserving as you thought you were at 8am this morning before you medicated with a Venti Americano.

THAT, is the "low worth" feeling I'm talking about. The low worth things, people, thong underwear, box of crackers; whatever the fuck it is- it needs to go and if the only way to say good riddens to is to say "fuck you," then profane away. Honestly, if you're at the breaking point of directing a fuck you to someones face, they probably deserved it, unless you're Puck or any of those Real World kids who are just hotheads.

"You're lucky you can do that...." said my Dad all beaten, exhausted and sweaty on his elliptical trainer while conversing at the gym...

"Not everyone can. It's easy to walk away when you don't have as many responsibilities (i.e. spawns, mortgages).....other times you have to endure it because you don't have another choice."

And though, I understood the point he was making- very much so, I also decided; I ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER CHOICE. LOW WORTH, simply isn't and will never be one of them.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Duncan Hines will be the END of my ass.

You know what isn't disgusting; dipping things in frosting- "things" is the interchangeable word here. I'm not above telling you that I've dipped raw Ramen noodles in Rainbow Chip icing, for dinner.

Since, I'm living at home right now in between you know "figuring it out for the 700th time, note: PRETTY SURE your twenties are responsible for; weight gain, wrinkles, and early heart failure- old age and children are NOT" (this may be another key factor to why I would like to shove my face into a vat of lard and live there instead) I'm also living vicariously through my 12 year old sisters body. No, I know- gross to aspire to look like a 12 year old or covet her tiny, tiny frame, but truthfully our boobs are about the same size, so what's wrong with me loathing her six pack? Nothing. Especially since when I was twelve I was on my second set of braces, had a bowl cut, glasses and perpetually sweaty hands- not to mention I was 5'6 and hadn't grown into my "quirky cute" persona, and I was oily. I digress into painful memories....moving on....

SO- the other night we're sitting on the couch and she's eating strawberries (healthy choice for the young doe) and because I knew I shouldn't erase the two hour cardio session I had just punished myself with (wtf. I create faux "Ranger Training" sessions, you know- just in case I join the forces for free health care and travel...or something absurd like that), I should make HER eat the delicious, whipped, CAN frosting in the pantry.

"You know what would be amazing on that??"

Unassuming, innocent-baby-child responds, "What Sissy?"


Offering frosting advice to a child is like saying to an adult "Here, have an orgasm, no worries this one's on me."

The worst part, I made my innocent-baby-child-sister the victim/tester to all things "Dippable" minus body parts- since you know, that would need another candidate i.e. boyfriend, that delicious Twilight boy, Anderson Cooper, our sexy Pres elect OBAMAAA, Jake-y Ghyllenhaal...etc.

The verdict is out: Spreading chocolate frosting onto the Club buttery garlic crackers= surprisingly delectable. Spreading frosting onto fruit always good (you pansy, think outside the box) and spreading frosting onto your tongue with a GIANT SPOON, even better. But the crackers win, something about the salty and the sweet is really euphoria to the palate.

The damn frosting has to go....but throwing away a half-full can of perfectly edible frosting is like saying goodbye to your childhood blankie. Either the frosting goes or I go....

REASON NUMBER 5,697 why I should move out a.s.a.p.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The GROWING process

Is it better to do something "OK" so that it can become great or is it better to not accept anything less than great in the first place?

There's a growth process that one has to go through when doing anything- it's just a matter of deciding how much of the process you let others see when you growing- how exposed you're willing to be while you stumble through the awkward stages. Do you keep them personal, don't let people see your short comings....your bright shade of "green" like a tomato before it gets the chance to ripen. In many ways I feel 100% ripe- like the best fucking strawberry, perectly ruby red and full....and on the other side, I'm that sad little deformed yellowy,green tomato....hanging all exposed on the vine.

Do you struggle through the growth process privately or is it better to have the "this is the way it is, this who I am.... and I'm embracing it- even the faulty parts..." mentality? Maybe it depends on the situation, the venue- the importance of what you're growing through. When you're in certain fields, there's less time for growth- you better do it quick, or someone else will. No room for error.

I'd have to say I'm much more of the latter, most of the time.....but a good friend once told me when I was gripping over some insignificant and annoying insecurity;

"Chels (and he has a British accent which makes this even more charming) when you're feeling insecure about something....keep it close....your close circle can know, but it can't go outside that circle (hi, so I started a blog?). Once you tell one person something self deprecating, as a joke- then another, then another....there becomes a general perception that PEOPLE will have of you; that you're an insecure person. Don't let them see that."

Words that seem tiny, when they're loaded negatively and pointed towards yourself- really aren't that small.
Especially when it sets a precedent for how people think about people know you.

Is the butterfly more beautiful because you don't know where it comes from or is it beautiful BECAUSE of where it came from?

Thursday, January 1, 2009


I was inspired by my last post- I inspired myself by my own post? Wow, that statement makes me sound a tad toolish. Anyhow, and with the new year upon us people carrying the weight of new resolutions and optimism for "change" I decided rather than creating any ONE resolution that I'd feel guilty about straying from at some point, I'd just DEFINE what it is that I WANT.

I think when you have a clear idea of WHY you want the things you want in your life; physically, mentally, career wise, morally, etc. etc. there's less resistance towards actually achieving it. When you only state what it is you WANT, it's really easy to fall into thinking about HOW you need to go about getting it which can just cause stress and fear when you realize the road may not be so easy, or you may not even have the answers to begin with. Saying, I want to (fill in the blank) because..... you affirm the things that make you feel GOOD, you vibrate at a higher energy of belief, because saying WHY it would make you feel good- makes you feel good.

It's easy to stand in the way of your own success and power when you stand in front of all the steps or missing steps you're going to have to climb to get there, but if you focus less on the "How to" and focus more on the why it'll benefit you, the steps will be much easier to take....or appear when you are unsure of where to step next.

SO- TODAY, I'm not RESOLVING to do anything.....ANY TIME of year is a time for change. Not the first of the month, or Monday, or after you get back from vacation, after you get a better job, after you have more money, after this- after that......IT'S NOW. Change happens whenever we decide it, we don't need a special day to do it....if anything, that makes the rules more tempting to break.

I created a board (since I'm a little Martha Stewart-y and crafty like that....or I'm still finding excuses to make kick ass collages) and at the top I wrote: WHAT DO I WANT.....

After each picture or statement I said, "I want this because...." and having to figure out why certain things seem like they would fulfill me really helped clarify certain aspects of myself that I didn't even realize needed to be validated, but they did....I got to the ROOT of what it is that makes me feel fulfilled, successful- whole.

2009, 2010....whatever year, whatever day, just decide; what and why and it's yours. Belief is such a powerful emotion eh?

Here's to you, raise you glasses and let's toast to HEALTH, living GREATLY AND PASSIONATELY, connecting, peace, safety, FULFILLMENT- NOW., abundance and laughter. CHEERS to deciding to live your very best lives starting NOW.