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One thing about Twitter that's going to fuck me- is not knowing who is following me and who's enabling updates to their phone. I.E. My Love or My Mother, who I tweeted about being "the drunk bunny" the night before Easter and she woke up hung over and alerted by text that she was drunk, thanks to me. You really can't tweet your friends while you're with them, your bosses, your family members WHOEVER. Twitter is an activity that should be left for times of solitude.

"Oh, you're reading my Tweets? He's a blogger."

This is one of those questions that's asked to test your truthfulness, it's what I like to call "The Trap Test." You have an option to lie, just a tiny white lie that wouldn't even matter in the long run unless you decide to in fact, LIE. The Trap Test always means the person on the other end knows the answer already, they're just baiting you. This time I was being baited on a brewery free-booze tasting tour. Liquor+The Trap Test= a potential disaster.

My Love, "I know he's a blogger. I read his blog." boyfriend reads his blog, even after I gave him a lashing for not being interested enough to read mine, "You read his BLOG?!...." I say blog like it's laced with venom and poop.

"Yeah. He's like, super witty. Even his titles are funny." Right he's funny. I'm fucking funny too, and since when is My Love into the world of blogging? What the hail.

"Right babe, he's funny. So if you KNEW he was a blogger...why'd you ask me? Are you threatened by his wittiness and social media bad-assness? Did you think we were having a BLOG-MANCE?"

This whole conversation spurned from the fact that I'd been gushing about how awesomely exciting it was going to be to go to the 20Something Bloggers Meet-Up in Chicago and how I wish I were going June 5-7 with Nicole Antoinette, LilySpeak, Mr5280, JamieLovely, Katelin and others to Vegas, so much so I was considering just doing my usual BUDGET FUDGE IT routine and buy a plane ticket down to Sin City wearing nothing but my drinking shoes and some tacky fire engine red bra...since Vegas is a place where people wear tacky bras. And maybe eye-glitter. I was fantasising rolling in my blog-nerd glory with other blog-nerd friends, in 3-D form!

"Well no... but, don't go down to Vegas or Chicago and come back all 'in love' with some witty, fucking, blogger dude....and who's Matt Fried?"

Assuming your lady is having a BLOG-MANCE is way deeper than seeing some whorebag who left a comment on your loves Myspace, those are deceptions of the past my dear friends. Blogging is the new wave of "the flirty email" or "the flirty cubicle banter with co-workers."

When you are an assumed BLOG-CHEAT the roots are deep. A man who's reading my blog knows intimate things, about my fears and insecurities, my excessive use of the word fuck, my insanity and affinity for cheese plates...all things that don't come in 3-D form until at least the third date.

"I'm not going to fall in love with a 'blogger dude' pinky swear....but on a serious tip, this beer tastes just like bananas." And that's where the line was drawn, I put an end to the "blog-mance" accusations.

SO TELL ME, IF YOU WERE GOING TO DATE A BLOGGER IN 3-D.... Who would it be???? Or what blogger would you like to have a drink with???


Cocktail Chic said...

I would have a drink the the fabulous MK Olsen! Love her style & that she doesn't care what others think. More girls need to have her confidence!

Anonymous said...

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Chelsea Talks Smack said...

tmamone- GOOD CHOICE!!

Baking With Plath said...

Man, after that lovely little video of yours, I would totally get a drink with you, my dear. jiggggaa jigggaaa.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Baking with Plath hahhaha, thank you my dear, I share the same sentiment, no doubt!

Matt said...


Thats awesome. I want to buy him a beer.


Chelsea Talks Smack said...

matt- It's a date. I'm arranging a man-date for you and my man.

P.S. We ARE in the same city and all.

LBluca77 said...

I would probably have a blog-mance with all my favorite guy bloggers. Wait, now i'm even whorey in cyber space.

But for sure Matt. Who doesn't love him!!

Fidgeting Gidget said...

I gave you an award today! Enjoy!

Becky said...

That would have to be dear dear David at The Rest is Still Unwritten. I'm in total blog love.

Anonymous said...

Oooooh. Interesting topic and super fun question.

I could probably come up with a top five bloggers I'd date. Picking just one would be tough.

Anonymous said...

(Because I'd be afraid to hurt feelings, not because I'm a manblogwhore.)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Fidgeting Gidget- THANK YOU!!! Cheers.

Bcky- I'm totally reading it.

Peterdewolf- Very thoughtful of you Peter, I still want to to know who they are.

Unknown said...

Hmmm, tough call. I'd want to go for a drink with either you or Maxie (or both!) cause hilarity and hijinks would ensue....

Blogmance...I'd go with Mike (Mind of Spaz) or Ben (No Ordinary Rollercoaster).

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Meghan- Oh man what if we got ALL of those people together? ! FUN TIMES INDEEEEEEDDDD!

alexa @clevelandsaplum said...

i think if i admit here who i would want to have a blog-mance with i would never live it down.

so i'm going with peter, i could totally come up with a top five.

cop out? totally.

as for beers? EVERYONE!

jen said...

I would have to go with Lilu and Matt! It'd better be good as well, all hype and no trousers is bad!!! x

Babs said...

SO@24's friend LEO-does that count if he doesn't have an 'actual' blog???

Alice said...

i'm so lucky... i've met so many bloggers so far in 3D! lilu and deutlich most recently, and pseudostoops and cheryl and dasi in chicago, and jess before she moved to denver, and moo in atlanta... maybe more? in any event, i can confidently say that ALL of them are awesome to have a drinnk with, which leads me to the conclusion that bloggers must be cooler than the general population, because i definitely do not want to drink with 100% of any other social group ;-P

megabrooke said...

i'd pick a top 5 too, and you my dear, would be in the mix, fosho.

can't you protect your updates on twitter? that's what i do, so everytime someone wants to follow me, i need to approve it. i feel all official this way.

Lauren said...

Hahaha - that's hilarious! My boyfriend was like "who's this RS27 guy? ARE YOU TALKING TO ANOTHER INDIAN??" (since he's also Indian.) Of course, he was joking. But it's funny how our blog lives sometimes overlap with our normal lives.

Lily said...

After your vlog the other day, I'd pick you! And I suggest you seriously fuck the budget and come to Vegas. PLEASE?!

Serial Monogamist said...

June at, fo sho.

Just cos she's funny and kind of skanky. But then she'd write about me later and make me look like a total d-bag ... I think it'd be worth it.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

brookem- you're right I definitly should do that, don't know why I havent? It's not the fact that theyre following me so much as the fact that theyre enabling my updates to their phones lol. and I'd love ot have a drink with you!!

alexa- OH COME ;) Just kidding, you're allowed to keep the blogmance a secret!

babs- sure why not!?

lily- IM WORKIN ON IT!!!

aLICE- I couldn't agree more, I'm going ot have coffee with jess soon! I've met many bloggers and have loved them all!!

Lauren- TRUE THAT.

Serial monogamist- thats a good one!

Ambles said...

I guess for "dating purposes" I would have to say the Blog Crush (as featured on my blog)...

But I'd also like to have a drink with this girl called Mimi Jetaime (, becuase she's hilarious!

Just A Girl said...

Wait, you're in D-town? Is that what I saw? I'm all new and shit to your blog because NO ONE EVER TELLS ME ANYTHING (I'm looking at several people in your comments when I say that).

Anyway, hi, me too, and I'd have to go with rs27 (that way both of our moms would shut up), JP, and LiLu. Matt would be convenient, but he's taken by your boyfriend, so, you know...

Katelin said...

oh man i don't think i could narrow it down. i say you just fudge your budget and come drinking with us in vegas, it will be awesome :)

Raven said...


Nicole, Damsel (I miss her) and Alice and Hillary and my BlogHer girls from last year and TUWABVB and so on and so on... I could list way too many people I would like to drink with.

Sebastian Anthony said...

I was going to say you, Chelsea, but you just put an auto-playing music player on your blog.

So I'd have to say... hm... Actually, no, after your recent vlog, it'd definitely be you.

Damn blog crushes...

Ben said...

I don't think you use the word fuck excessively. In fact, it's a veritable sprinkling compared to some people I have known.

As for who I'd like to have a drink with, I'd probably take anyone at the moment.

Jeanna said...

Were you drinking Franzikaner? THAT beer tastes just like bananas.

JUST ME said...

I hope someone said they wanted to blog date ME.

If not, I'll feel like the fat awkward girl at the middle school dance.

Lauryn said...

I have found your blog! And when I'm less tipsy I am going to do some serious reading, because I can already tell (in my extremely buzzed state) that I'm going to love it!

Thanks again for stopping by :)

Bon soir!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

just a girl- I am in d-town now, I mean it depend son the day cause I'm quite the gypsy.

katelin- I believe thats the PLAN :)

Raven- thanks!! I miss Damsel toooo, lets petition for her to come back!

sebastian- oh you're making me blush. lol.

Ben- well Ben, now worries I'll have a drink with you in Chicago. Actually a whole shitload of us will have a drink with you. Maybe a few.

Je-It was New Belgium's Amber Cru, DELICIOUSSSSSS.

Just me- I'd date you ;)

Lauryn- Thanks so much for stopping by, I hope you come again! CHEERSSSS!!!

Gracie said...

Ohh this made me laugh so much! Love it when blogs make me laugh.

Sid said...

I'd date Dan Murphy from He's the reason I started blogging. Unfortunately he's already taken and living on another continent altogether.

Maxie said...

I'm already blogaged (blog + engaged) to LiLu, so I'd be cheating if I said someone else.

I do fancy Baking with Plath though. I think we could cause some trouble.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Maxie- Ah I didn't realize you were blogaged, when's the wedding?

DShan said...

like i told ya on twitter, you're on that VERY LONG list. tony pierce is the oldest member of the list, and while i'm being gay i'd include bksurviving and so@24. i need to 'meet' mr5280...i'm out of the loop on his awesomeness.

the female list is very long, but raymitheminx, kierre-anne, martini, daily kayla, you, damsel (RIP), etc etc etc.

Stiletto Sports Jen said...

ooooh what a great topic & piece! Really makes you think! I have a quite a few guys I talk to via twitter, facebook, aim, etc...... that get really flirty.
And I'm not going to lie, I like the way it makes me feel!
Def have some blog-mances going with a few that I wouldn't mind meeting irl!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

D- totally great choices. Man I miss damsel, and I think I'd date/drink with all the same people you listed. I sense a party in the making.

Stiletto- HERE HERE! I totally hear you.

Martini said...

By coincidence, I will be in Vegas June 6-8 (my birthday!) and I think my friend RS is meeting me out there, for anyone who's interested. He's a hoot in real life (and I'm just drunk in real life). :)

Anonymous said...

It would definitly be Ben from No Ordinary Rollercoaster...but I have always wanted a gay male best friend, he fits the bill!

Bird* said...

wooooow. i will be at the Blogger meet-up in Chi and can't wait to meet everyone... although it makes me a little nervous. sometimes I enjoy the fact that I don't know these people.... but it will be a BLAST!

and for the record... i have not read any blog of any guy that i would be interested in dating. and i can't imagine meeting mr.mcdreamy at the blogger meet-up... sounds kinda creepy actually.

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