Thursday, May 27, 2010

Why do I blog??? I blog because people give me sex toys. Ok fine, that's not the ONLY reason.

No, I didn't end up lost in the middle of the desert after Bloggers in Sin City (though that was highly likely, considering I spent most of the drive tweeting and looking for the red skittles in the jumbo pack).... fact, I've been plotting a way for all of us blogger bitches to live on a compound and braid each other's hair, while making peach jam and following some chosen God, which would likely be vodka, or Twitter, or Elizabeth Gilbert since all of a sudden we all "just happened" to want to go to an ashram, and feel less guilty about eating gelato everyday. Some desires are just universal. Whatever keeps the faith. Thus my plan isn't hatching the way I'd hoped....turns out most people like their real-life friends, don't give a fuck about making jam, or 20 loaves of bread a day and compounds are creepy. But, I tried. It could've been my perma-hangover that found the idea to be brilliant....or the 24 hours a day I've spent catching up on work. And Real Housewives.

No fears... no compound, no kool-aid, no road trip car wrecks.

I'm home safely and I've been recovering from A. wearing heels while walking down the strip twice. B. drinking entirely too much mini-champagne (yes, I brought my own...klassy with a k) and C. retraining myself how to speak like a "non-blogger" which means the following phrases are banished; "I mean," before every sentence, "Um, Hi" before every sentence, when you aren't actually greeting someone and all mentioning of the "Gaga walk-off" with the monster/claw hand. The Gaga walk-off scares children, and bystanders...sane people don't point a claw at their face and walk the runway in the middle of the grocery store- if you're confused, pick up your hand, claw it- now point it in the direction of your face, and WALK. I mean, STRUT. Thanks Ben, for the Gagaspiration. (Gaga + Inspiration= gagaspiration...which actually sounds like a rare form of gas caused by sweating.)

Damn, I just said "I mean."

The last weekend in Vegas was amazing- after 11 hours of driving with my lovely sister-friend Doniree, with talks about energy healing, orgasms, and food (turns out the later two are actual the problem solver of "healing energy"), we arrived in Vegas stocked with bubbly, beer and South Beach bars. While Nicole came stocked with sex toys to give to us bloggers, apparently what happens in Vegas goes back home with you in the form of a magical dildo shaped like a horse shoe.

The first day or so I was overwhelmed by the fact that there were all these people who I kinda thought I knew, who kinda thought they knew me, but yet....I kinda still didn't know anyone- it's a unique situation to find yourself in, especially when, within 24 hours you've all; been in a bikini together, told each other your craziest sexual experience (to win said magical dildo) and gotten unnecessarily tipsy, then showing everyone your hag-hungover face the next day. The experience is kind of like having sex, then going on a date.

....and it was amazing. Get all the complicated shit out of the way at the beginning right!?

I actually full on- tongue on cheek licked Livit Luvit, while she also licked my face- at the same time.... which is kind of like some weird blogger bonding experience. Or maybe it has nothing to do with bloggers and we're just gross, EITHER WAY- we licked faces. For real.
I met so many original 20 Something Bloggers folks, some new people and some "old friends."

One of the best experiences was meeting the beautiful Jenny Blake from Life After College, as Sin City roommates we got the chance to curl up together and get down to the good nitty gritty parts about being a 20something, being a woman, and being an ambitious, courageous lady....turns out even we've got it all going for us, we're still vulnerable, soft, messy and completely lovable....despite all of the the fears we've created and built up around ourselves as a means for "protection." We're beautiful and strong, despite the fact that sometimes we just want someone to tell us they adore us and that would actually solve everything. We're beautiful and strong, even when we aren't really sure why we feel like we're missing that extra "sparkle" in our lives. Us ladies, us 20something (30something, 70something?!) women (and men)- who are often floundering, often standing center stage, and just as often proudly taking on the World without the proper tools, are still raw humans; tender, impetuous, insightful, and MAGNIFICENT women.

Having some amazing conversations with Jenny, and so many other fabulous bloggers I met this weekend (there's entirely too many to list), I was reminded that what defines the REAL brilliance of going into each experience, is to nakedly fling yourself into it by just BEING YOURSELF.

Sharing your stories and your quirks, your underground insecurities...and sharing it all without worrying whether people will like it or not. By blogging we put it all out there, usually with an extra pinch of crazy. But we also don't apologize for those that we attract already love the messy bits. We see the flaw and buy it anyway.

I was reminded of the power that we all have when we've got some serious backing, real friends and they're all packin'; wit, intelligence and in some cases, an extra tampon, or clearer beer goggles, to lessen the damage.

Thank you to the ladies, and men, I met this last weekend- you all inspired me, taught me some new dance moves, made sure I didn't get roofied and made me proud to wear this heart right on my sleeve, knowing there's other people out there doing the exact same thing. The whole experience made me even more grateful for all the reasons I love to blog.


So, why do YOU blog? Or, if you don't blog....why?


sara said...

Some of us are now 30 something, gasp! And we feel ancient in this world of 20 something bloggers. I mean do you want 30 something, cause I can show you 30 something, I used to blog way back in the live journal days, does that count? Now I feel just too old, esp since I have no kiddies. I love life. I love it all and I just like to kick back, and enjoy work. No other mission going on. Don't hate, just love. The 30 something. Kthxbai!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

sara- I totally love the 30something, I can't wait until I'm 30something...or 60something, I think we get better with time :)

Morgan said...

I blog because I really think it will be fun in 10 years to go back and read all of this.

I also blog because I am an accountant by day and need some kind of creative outlet by night.

Ben said...

Baby? I have a Gagawalkoff video tutorial in the works. I'm not even kidding.

Sex before date? Totally what it was like.

Anonymous said...

i blog because it helps me connect with people with amazing hearts...however cliched it sounds, don't gag!
But i love it.
And I'm so jealous that you got to meet your blogger friends!

Chicken said...

I blog so that I can share my crazy stories with the rest of the world, and learn new words like gagaspiration. Genius pure genius.

Anonymous said...

This weekend made me realize that not only do I *think* bloggers understand me better than anyone else in my life, now I *know* that to be true. We are a group of like minded people. No matter what we write about; we are the people that put it all out there, we are the people that approach life with a full on, full disclosure, no holds barred attitude.

I love that about bloggers.

And I loved that about you.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely adored meeting you in person finally after following your blog for years. I love that we had one of the best conversations of my life at a bar. Thanks for the talk times at Heart Bar. And as usual, you summed it up perfectly - having sex before the first date. We talked a lot about the general awkwardness of meeting people who you feel you know, but you really don't know at all. Somehow, it all works out once we realize we just have to be ourselves, good or bad or ugly.

Thank you for being so lovely.

rachaelgking said...


Aka my new motto for everything.

I can't wait to lick your face again someday.

Doniree said...

I started blogging as an outlet, and practice for writing, which I loved and wanted to make a bigger part of my life.

I keep blogging because I don't know how not to, because I'm addicted to story-telling, because I'm a writer first and above everything (well, ok second to being a lover and a friend).

I LOVE this story, this "recap" of the weekend, of the hearts that came together and were opened, of the boundaries that were expanded, and of friendships - OURS - that continue to live and breathe and transcend any expectations I've ever had about friendship. You ARE my sister, my friend, my family, and for you and our time together this weekend - I'm so, so grateful :)

Erica Lee said...

I just started blogging (like a week ago), and reading this post makes me want to continue until I'm a 30-something blogger! ;)

I've been an avid blog reader for awhile, and I truly do believe that bloggers are the most interesting, creative & perhaps totally crazy people on the planet (all in a positive way, of course).

I kinda want to cry a little.

Thanks for sharing :)

Clare said...

BISC sounds like such an incredible time. I was living vicariously through everyone's tweets and twitpics and now the blog posts.

I blog because I love to document. I have so much to be grateful for and so much to learn. The friends I've met through blogging are a huge plus too.


Leila said...

i didn't know you could make friends blogging - amazing. i blog to vent, i like writing, and sometimes when i post a pair of shoes on my blog i try to convince myself i don't have to buy them, i can stare at them anytime i want, on my own personal blog. it works 10% of the time

ÄsK AliCë said...

This is a beautiful recap of the weekend and so very true.

I blog because I started and couldn't stop and because the people I've met (now IRL not just online) are always amazing, fabulous, lovable people.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

ben- can I be in your tutorial? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

Ronda- Amen sister, amen.

chasingparadise- It was a long time coming, loved tlaking with you and sharing stories, you're fabulous :)

lilu-welcome to my life.

doniree- that comment kind of made me cry a little, yep.

erica- ah, you're about to embark on one incredible journey :) don't stop....

ask alice- AH AMEN. Loved meeting you, you're beautiful!

Andrea said...

I can't stop saying "I mean." I mean, fuck... FUCK!

Anonymous said...

Lol, sounds like you had a good time in Vegas!

I blog because I need some form of creative outlet when my life doesn't allow me to be creative.

And sometimes I just have WAAAAY too much time on my hands at work.


Scott said...

Hmm...I looked at the pics of your prize there. It's risky to give away a toy intended for use by a couple if you don't know for certain all the potential winners are in a couple. It's kinda like, I dunno, someone with absolutely no friends a ping pong table or something. But if you're single, maybe your new purple horseshoe will let you "get Lucky." Ha! Get it! Ah...good ol' pornographic cereal amusement. What the hell am I supposed to do with this goddamn ping-pong table?

Rolerkite said...

I blog to escape the mundaneness of the everyday 9-5 life. It's a chance to connect with creative, like-minded people. AND- you never know who might be reading and who might inspire you.

Liz said...

I already told Doni, I NEED to be there next year. No questions. Plus you need to make sure your sexy little ass is in Boulder in July when I come visit!

tee said...

I blog because my ideas are just that important.

Kidding. Sort of.

It's more because I have so many ideas running around in my head that if I don't write some down my head will totally implode. Which is messier than exploding, I hear.

Katelin said...

seriously it was so fun meeting you last weekend and i was so happy when you came up to me at zefferinos, it was just awesome. and yes you are all sorts of lovely and i can't wait to hang out again soon, let's work on that compound idea okay? :)

David Stehle said...

I may not have attended BiSC, but it's been fun reading everyone's blog posts about their happy vaginas since the trip! Oh...and their new found friendships. That was "ok" to read about too. ;)

By the way, Jenny Blake - awesome girl! I want make her travel-sized, stuff her in my pocket and take her with me everywhere I go. She's just that kind of good.

missy. said...

i love blogging for the exact reasons you posted about. sounds like you had a great time!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

David- UM, I want to marry Jenny Blake. Ok, maybe not REALLY marry her- but I would be perfectly happy with some sort of arranged girlfriend marriage outside of our marriages. Only if I can borrow her from you every now and then- maybe we'll just clone her?

Barbara said...

I blog because it's easier for me to write than talk to people. I know that sounds weird because I'm sharing information with the entire world on my blog, but there's something strangely therapeutic about the internet.

I'm really enjoying reading all the stories from Bloggers in Sin City

David Stehle said...

I think she disapproves of cloning, so I'll arm wrestle you for her instead. Fair enough?

Leigh Hutchens Burch said...

I totally lurk on your blog, and sometimes -- I'll admit it -- I only read what's written in bold.

I am so jealousspice that you got to meet Lilu! Is this an annual 20sb event? Does it matter that I'll be 30 this time next year?!

I. want. in.

Robin said...

Sounds like an awesome road trip. Funny thing about blogging. I started because I just wanted to flex my writing muscle. I knew it was flabby and I needed to give it a workout. Well, I did that and then I met all of these cool bloggers and I was still doing that, but I was also learning a whole bunch of cool stuff. That I did not see coming. And that is what makes this experience so incredible. It is all about people touching people and changing the way a person sees a situation or a problem or just life. The really cool thing is that the person who does that changing might never know it. They threw an idea out into the universe and it changes someone's life. That's why I blog. That's why I read blogs. People have changed my perspective many times for the better. If I have done it once.... well, that is totally cool.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Amber- thanks for delurking! UH, yes, you can come! Once a year! sign up for the newsletter!

Doniree said...

I want in on the Chelsea-David-Jenny thing.

Anonymous said...

Chelsea...You are everything there is!! I think you're brilliant!! I think you are Beautiful!! I think you are a tiny doll!! And, I worry myself sick, that some strange weirdo will put you in a Big Butterfly/Jelly jar,and I'll die trying to find you!! You trust so easily!! It's part of how lovely you are!! DAMN!!!! GR J

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Jenny B said...

Chelsea - you are amazing. Beyond amazing - but this post is just further proof of that. You have such a way with words, and piercing insight into this crazy journey we call life. You are an incredible woman and you made my entire trip! I feel so lucky to have met you and gotten to spend so much time with you (you captured our conversations perfectly!). Next stop? Our wedding! I'll make the spreadsheet, but you have to plan all the details, k?

And you and David crack me up - I *sort-of* have a feeling that if you arm-wrestled, he'd you might want to suggest a Gagawalkoff instead...though maybe he'd win that too? ;-) Kidding - David, you know I love you.

Doni - you can SO get in on the Jenny-Chelsea-David action! But I'm thinking maybe we'll leave our we-vibes at home? ;-)

And I call IN on the next epic roadtrip!! :)

spleeness said...

Why do I blog? To share. And sometimes to practice writing, and other times to give me some focus on noticing my surroundings.

Why do I not blog? Because my life is on fire right now and I don't know how to write about it publicly. :(

Alexis said...

Worst timing ever to have to get my tonsils out! I had such mixed emotions when they found the solution, on the one hand I wouldn't be getting quite so sick anymore, on the other I had to miss the meet up! I was so upset, but I'm so beyond happy everyone had such a fantastic time & can't wait to make it a reality next year...sans tonsils so I'll really be able to have a good time. ;)

Lovelovelove you!

floreta said...

one of these days I'd LOVE to go to a bloggers meet up! i've only met two bloggers so far but one thing i've noticed about blogger meet ups is they always involve alcohol! or, is that just the typical ritual for everyone, regardless if you're a blogger or not? either way, i think it's kinda funny. :D definitely helps to break the ice.

im_anewsoul said...

I blog because if I don't then I'll lose the stories in my head. That and I'll lose the craving to write to my hearts content.

DShan said...

Hahahahahaha I blog because blogging gives me you. You and I have a date with destiny, yo.

I blog because writing is one of the most courageous things you can do in front of someone, and nevermind the act of doing it in front of a crowd of people.

Sounds a lot like sex, actually.

iheartkiwi said...

it sounds like you had an awesome time!

i started blogging as a way to keep track of wedding ideas and i discovered that even after the wedding has come and gone i still love it! it's like a photo-journal of my life... and i love being constantly inspired by other amazing blogs like yours!

Felisa said...

OMGMGMGMGG (don't even try to de-acronym-ize that). So jealous... that sounds like too much fun!

I blog because I think it's such an interesting domain of sharing. You get to control what you want to talk about, how much you want to talk about it and when you want to talk. And I think that freedom brings forth plenty of brilliant people who have so much to share with the world. And because we're all trying to share too much information about our lives and ourselves, it makes us more accepting of other bloggers and what they have to say.

It's like the opposite of high school. You get to be who you are and people who wouldn't necessarily belong to your circle of friends listen and adore you and you get to listen and adore them too.

Nicole Leigh said...

I am so jealous of Bloggers in Sin City. Sounds like an amazing time.
I blog because I love to write, I love to talk about what I love. I also love the friendships that have come out of blogging. I don't get too personal because I do use this as a supplemental resume since I do work as a fashion writer for a website. I'm still trying to find a happy medium between blogging for myself and blogging for other people to see.
ps I changed my url, I'm no longer summer is my favorite, I hope you still follow me!

Poppy Gets a Life said...

Hi Chelsea!! I've just caught up on all of your recent posts - so much has been happening! And I SO WISH I could have come to Vegas and said hi. Damn Australia for being so far away.

Next time you score a gig touring with a band, make sure you convince them to come down to Aus - we'll have a martini or two, and some cheese. Mmmm, cheese.

Poppy xox

Ellen said...

Oh no, I only have about 6 more months before I'm a 30-something blogger! I should have booked it to Vegas! I'm so jealous of your girl-on-girl licking and Livit Luvit are two of my faves :)

I first started blogging for therapeutic reasons. I lost my job at a magazine and needed an outlet, so the blog was it. I also needed something that would provide routine to my day and help me keep my skills sharp. I also love the feeling of being a part of a community and interacting with people from all over.

Now that I'm investing so much time in it, I admit that it would be cool if SOMETHING (anything?) more came from the blog. It's not WHY I do it because I truly do love it, but sure, if my blog snagged the attention of an editor or helped paid for my phone bill one day, that would be sweet. It's such a taboo to admit that, and I've been ripped a new one for doing so, but I'm just being honest. All in all though, even if nothing comes from the ol' bloggy blog, I will still love it and continue to do it. I just can't quit it!!!

Scott Wicken said...

I blog because to deprive the world of my wit, music taste, and advice would not only be selfish but unfair.

Anonymous said...

My Uncle truely adores you...

Anonymous said...

My uncle "bubby" truely adores you. I hope that you get all the votes to need..

Chelsea Talks Smack said...


floreta- OH YES, they do involve A LOT OF alcohol. LOL, regardless- you should come :)

dshan- I couldnt agree more and yes, TOTALLY like sex.

iheartkiwi-AH! Yes, and I love your blog for those reasons.


ellen- well thank you lady, AND UM, you can still come next year ;) An editor would be luck to have you :)

felisa-AMEN, fabulous reason indeed

nicole leigh- you have to come next year!

scott- awesome comment, lol. love it.

anonymous- WELL thank you, I appreciate that- I really appreciate everyone's support and votes and all of that, you're rocking, i'm glad your uncle sent you the info and it ended up with you here at my blog!

BonBon Rose Girls Kristin said...

Oh Livit...not at all surprised by the cheek lickin'. You GOTTA love her fabulous arse!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Kristin- ABSOLUTELY, she's a gem.

Sara said...

I would blog for sex toys. And quite happily, I might add!

Oh, or for pie.

Lisa Lisa Lisa said...

Wow, meeting with a bunch of bloggers???!!?? Sounds like so much fun! Entirely too much fun! I am super jealous. =) I need to get in on one of this hair braiding trips.

Sophia said...

I blog because it's amazing! I love people reading about me and my thoughts. I love exchanging ideas with different people. I love "meeting" people like me, and people completely different. Amazing post!

xo, Sophia

Bruninha said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog.
I really love your writing and will definitely be stopping by! AND I voted for you =)



rachaelgking said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I blog because it keeps me sane. It helps me cope and remember things that I want to remember. It's an outlet and I write to feel better.